On the outside
I look happy
As can be.
But you know
What is sad?
No one knows
How deeply you
Have hurt me.
I would have
Loved you.....without
Reservation

Today is better than last night.
I don't feel as empty.
But now, I'm full of something like hate.
I don't hate you.
But I don't want to be around you either.
Even though today is better than last night,
Today, still is not as good as that short amount of time.

I hide how I feel to everyone, even you. or at least i try to hide it from you. But you always know. Yet we still play this little game of cat and mouse where you ask and I try not to tell. See I can't really show how I  feel...I'm too busy being strong for everyone else.

Just let me show you that through all of the lying and rumors, I can break down these walls that will not let me love, and love you.

Please, I'm begging you, just let me lay in your arms tonight. Act like you love me even though i know you never will. I feel like this void that is where my heart is supposed to be is getting bigger. So please, I'm begging you, please, just hold me tonight.

Why?
Why do I want you?
Why do I put myself through all of this?
Why do I like the quirky things you do?
Like the face you make when you are thinking.
Or when you make that heart-melting smile.
Or when you look at me with those fierce, ice blue eyes.
Why do I **** myself wanting you?
Why do I want you?
Why?

I feel so empty now. I thought maybe if we did this again, it could go back to when we were so close to being an us. I do so want your affections it hurts me to know I was just inches away from having you...but I let you slip away like sand through my fingers. I thought if I gave you everything, you would just maybe want me too. That isn't the case though. You are just you, and I am just me.