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veenus Sep 2017
a broken record on repeat, I defend myself again and again
he tells me I’m like talking to a brick wall.
I’m not understanding his point when I repeat
again and again and again
that I will not stand by and let a man put his hands on me.
“he was mad. you should have respected what he wanted.”
again and again and again
a man came onto my sister-in-law’s property,
knowing she’d asked him on another day to stay away.
he threatened her, threatened us
again and again and again
I told him
“she asked you to leave her home. I suggest you go.”
this man thought he was entitled
to put his hands on me and shove me.
when I tell you I almost broke my hand that day,
it wasn’t from the fist i swung at his face
but rather the one I swung at the wall
again and again and again
after this man’s friend claimed
again and again and again
that he’d caught me on video.
“he never put his hands on you. you swung at him first”
I had never thrown a punch at anyone before that day
and I had never put my hands on that man
until he gave me reason to get defensive.
a broken record stuck on repeat,
again and again and again
I will never let a man put his hands on me
veenus Aug 2017
a bubble of hope. a glimmer of faith. a sliver of doubt. memories of the way things once were and worries about the things that may one day be. sometimes i don’t understand what’s running through my mind. things can get kind of hectic when you’re starting to get depressed again but don’t know why. i never know why anymore. i’ve been thinking lately. i’ve been wondering if maybe i’m getting too comfortable here. i’m comfortable with you. i’ve loved you for what’s felt like a thousand years and i want to love you for another thousand or maybe more. forget the rest of my life, i’d be with you for the rest of all life if i could but i’m so scared that one day you won’t reciprocate anymore. living with mood disorders can messy and chaotic, having a partner with mood disorders isn’t all sunshine and rainbows either. i’m sorry. i get so anxious that one day you’ll find better for you but you’re the best for me. i don’t want anyone who isn’t you. please don’t want anyone who isn’t me. i know i’m a handful, but i’m trying.
it's a beautiful day to be Depressed
veenus Aug 2017
a quick self-introduction

call me Vee. 20 years. manchester, new hampshire. struggling artist. zodiac enthusiast. creator of magic.

blessed by the muses - I love photography, music, drawing, and writing.

capricorn sun, taurus moon, virgo sun. ask me about the rest of my natal chart.

a witch still exploring her own spirituality; lately I’ve been looking into hellenic polytheism.

lover of space, sea, and woodland. nature plays a prominent part in both my witchy path and my lifestyle.
veenus Mar 2017
8:29pm
i'm thinking about having a family with you someday while you sleep next to me. my heart is pounding. i just can't fathom that we really made it this far. we really made it this far. i play with your hair; i know you always like that. seeing you this peaceful gives me time to just look at you with love and think about all that i love about you. i love everything about you.  i love you.
veenus Feb 2017
I am self-destructive.
set the timer and grab some popcorn
for the next time I'll blow it all.
this should be a good one.
veenus Jan 2017
This feels so surreal, I
Don’t know how to feel
About this situation,
Love’s contagious, doesn’t feel real
Don’t know why I’m anxious    
When I’m around you
Got me nervous, Can’t control this,
I might blow this
Six years have come and gone
And I’m still crazy for you
So much time has gone by
And I still get butterflied
It feels like I’m dreaming    
Please don’t wake me up
I’m in a daze and feelin’ hazy          
hold up,
Don’t know why I’m anxious
When I’m around you
Got me nervous, Can’t control this,
I might blow this
Six years have come and gone
And I’m still crazy for you
So much time has gone by
And I still get butterflies
I found some old poems and songs I wrote years ago, so I figured I might as well post them. They're not the best but if I had never been at that point of writing, I wouldn't be where I am now.
veenus Jan 2017
Hey you,
How's it been?
I haven't seen you in a while.
And I was thinking about
All the things you used to do
To drive me crazy, ooo.
Now there's a traffic jam
In my head,
Thinking of words
I should have said...

I took a breath
You drove away
I didn't think I'd ever have to say Goodbye.
I should have told you
How much I really cared
Maybe then you'd still be here by my side.
But I didn't, and you said goodbye...

How long's it been?
A couple years now?
I've heard you've got one on the way.
And though it won't be with me,
I hope you have the perfect family
That you've always wanted.
But there's still a traffic jam
In my head,
Still thinking of words
I should have said...

I took a breath
You drove away
I didn't think I'd ever have to say Goodbye.
I should have told you
How much I really cared
Maybe then you'd still be here by my side.
But I didn't, and you said goodbye...

I should have just told you how I felt...
Maybe you'd still be here with me...
I should have told you that I cared...
But I didn't...
And you said goodbye...
I found some old poems and songs I wrote years ago, so I figured I might as well post them. They're not the best but if I had never been at that point of writing, I wouldn't be where I am now.
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