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jacky Feb 2014
In a matter of seconds
minutes or so
I inhale you
deeply

Killing every inch
Of what's left
of me
slowly

I don't regret this
Because in a matter
Of years, and if i be lucky
Of decades
We all live
To face death

I'm just enjoying the
Little sins
That would ****
my existence
another  poem dedicated to death
jacky Feb 2014
The first afternoon I can recall,
you grabbed my hand
and took me outside.
You surprised me, I said.
Because that noon
is the first time
I saw that lake.

The second afternoon I can recall,
you called me by name
and we went outside.
I brought you lunch, and
we drank some
mind-boggling liquid
which you stole from that old man
living beside that lake.
We lied on the grass, and
if that was not a dream, I hope not,
I felt your breath with mine, and your lips
on mine.

The third afternoon I can recall,
you went to my bed
and shook me awake.
I was mesmerized to see you again,
but you’ve changed.
The colour in your eyelids, your cheeks,
and your lips was artificial.
If you haven’t spoken, I
wouldn’t be able to recognize you.
Sitting at the edge of my bed,
you’ve said the name of that lake,
and I knew  it was you still.

The fourth afternoon I can recall,
you were 18 and still cried on my shoulder
not because you were hurt, but
because you were happy  getting married.
Flowers, chairs, and a priest
waited  for you beside that lake.
I was about to cry at that moment, knowing
it wasn’t me you were marrying.

The fifth afternoon I can recall,
you yelled at me,
“I can’t live this way!”
I asked you why, but
you didn’t tell me, you showed me.
That kiss beside that lake was wrong.
In all of the reasons why it was wrong,
I found one which is right.
You loved me the way I loved you.

The sixth afternoon I can recall,
you left me
alone beside that lake.
Yes, you loved me, but
as you have said you need to love yourself more.
I can’t hold you any blame for leaving,
I understood, and I lived with the promise
that you’ll come back to me –
in one piece or even in ashes.

The seventh afternoon I can recall,
you were barely alive.
You looked old, with dark circles around your eyes.
You hid them with glittery make-up.
“This lake haven’t changed.” you said.
I looked at that lake,
its beauty and all its glory
looked nothing
next to you.

The eighth afternoon I can recall
was the worst of them all.
You didn’t call, you didn’t leave,
you didn’t cry, you didn’t go to my bed.
And you weren’t barely alive.
Someone wrote me a letter, not you,
to take you where you and bring you back home.
You didn’t find yourself, you’ve lost it
To yhe hero
in your veins, who ate you in your sleep.

This afternoon,
I carry you, with all but  my shattered heart,
inside a jar.
My tears are one with that lake,
but I’ll bury you beside it.
I know you’re happy.
Your soul one with that lake.
I will post this since i feel that this won't get approved by my editor. I just feel it. Well,enjoy yourselves.
jacky Feb 2014
Good news: I got into a Literary Folio as a Staffer for Poetry section in my University. It is a great oppurtunity for my writing.

Bad news: I cannot update often since i would be submitting my works to the Folio.

Good news: There is a chance that I would be published :)

Bad news: I won't be able to post right away but if my works will not br approved i will post it here.
jacky Jan 2014
five flights of stairs
i don't mind

four unmet eyes
i don't mind

three minutes of silence
i don't mind

two silly questions
i don't mind

in any case
one wishing
one dreaming

that somewhere near
somewhere here

she could belong
counting on you
even just a second would do
jacky Jan 2014
they say 'always be honest'
only to judge what's the truth.

with their eyes, eager to hear
the truth is nothing they fear
they'll make you comfortable
watch you, communicate with you

but when you open your mouth,
breathe out the ******* reality of your life

their eyes are on you
condemning your whole being
being honest will give us one of  the best feelings in the world, but the problem is what comes after - people judging your truth.
jacky Jan 2014
All of those were in my mind
a pure product of my assumptions
negations, aspirations,
trying not to be blind
but I opened my eyes to **** wide.

You outshined my rational thoughts,
lost the flow, gave in, and lost
a game i didn't intend
to win
but you did, and i'm a fool.

A tattoo, that is what you are to me
to every inch of my body
I want you inked in me,
on me, at me, for me, to me
all the prepositions in the world.

And I'm glad, that you touched my life
even if I did touch yours,
I didn't make a sound, a scratch,
to you perfect life.
That's all I be,
nothing
a day's drag
excess
no
one


*I exist, but you don't think of me
the way I think of you.
That one word hurt me, I won't tell you but it's there.
jacky Jan 2014
Falling in love is an easy task.
You let go, you forget yourself.
Heaven will wait, and cry to your regrets
but never will take you for falling in love.

Staying in love, is the hardest part.
but how would I know,
I've never been there.

Always the bridge, that's who I was,
who I am.
Never worth crossing for.
Once, a boy tried, only because
his destination was too far
and settled for the bridge
how ******* unfortunate is that.
I am.

But falling in love is an easy task.

*Sometimes, you fall in love like breathing.
You don't intend to, but you have to.
Currently fathoming on should I ever let myself fall in love because for the nth ******* time, I don't feel satisfied, and I think I'll never be. So, should I give up on feeling feelings?
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