jacky

jacky Jan 2014

the truth comes with a bit of a sting
it's you accept it and let it all go
or you swallow it, with all the jagged edges
of each side down your throat
it's just a sting, it's a bite from an ant
or a stab in the back,
a kick in the guts,
a touch from reality.

and i predicted that this would happen,
that I'd do this to myself.

and I predicted that you would run,
now you've touched my truth,
I knew you weren't ready,
and I am just glad
that whatever happened,
or 'could have happened'
is done, before it has begun.

and I predicted that this would happen,
and I predicted that you would run
once you knew the truth,
now,
you're backing down.

*****

I think I should be psychic or something, I knew that something like this could happen when I told people the truth, they would run.

jacky Jan 2014

or so i thought

for crying out loud
i've been left,
i've been hurt,
damaged as hell
so please, and
i beg even more
don't leave me hanging
i've been hanged
too many **** times
i don't think
(if you do this to me)
that i'll survive
the suffocation
because you were different
you were the best
you were perfect

you were mine

**or so i thought

I can't help but to feel this way. It's my fault, and I can blame anyone but myself.

jacky Jan 2014

desire

thinking makes me want you more
you revolve around the thoughts in my head
actually, almost everything
you're the center of it, center of all
though it doesn't make sense at times
I try to mend it with your voice
that in all that matters
it heals me, fixing the chaos jiggles in my head

breathing makes me want you more
the lilac in your scent, the perfume you bought
I really think, you didn't need it
And I still do, for when you walk or talk pass me
all i could think was how and why
you've almost paralyzed me deep inside
if I could just breathe you in forever
I wouldn't need any other gas
oxygen be ******
you keep my lungs alive

hurting makes me want you more
it's the only thing that hold the two of us
and not because you hurt me, no
I did this to myself, I brought myself to this
that's why I like it, I love it
although it hurts, it makes me think that it's real
that i was not dreaming about all of these
it's real because I feel how the tiny bits of my heart
crashed onto the floor
saw it with my to naked visions

feeling makes me want you more
you make it real
you make it easy
though it hurts, i wouldn't mind
your love, is enough
even unrequited mine is

how i feel at the moment, making the moment pass to be with the one i like. I failed her...

jacky Jan 2014

selflessly

all these miseries you say
lost inside you
shivering, crying at night
lean against my soul
I will shove your demons out
eat them all alive
just to see you and your smile
the eyes that glitter in a while
because *a day without your smile
is not a day at all

The type of love that makes you selfless is one of the best kinds of love. Be sure to appreciate those who love us selflessly.

jacky Jan 2014

should have

honestly?
I should have stopped,
let it go, done, finished
but it was
like you were written in my bones
uncertain and unknown
you flow through my bloodstream
screaming in silence, ringing in my ears
over the things in my head
inside the paranoia
all the hysteria
you still managed to
drive me crazier
insane, uncontrollably nuts
in your own kind of way
slowly, then all
at ******* once

I should have stopped you
(I know I can)
I should've tried to,
but little did I know
I was not that strong
to stop my own desire
of fulfilling your desires

(still struggling at titles pardon me)

jacky Jan 2014

what

Isn't it wonderful how we say
what is real, what is not, and what is what
over the view of what we know and what we don't
Only to discover that what we believed had long gone
moved on
In situations we find ourselves stuck, you are stuck
we pretend that it's worse, that's it's different
but all the way it wasn't
it's a creation of your twisted mind
sculpted by the hands of a twisted man
We try our best to see what's beyond
what's far, what's in the future
predict the utopia, forgot
that life isn't all what you want
and that's when we start
to feel what we want,
see only what you want to see
and for all the mercy in the world
you exist only in the parameters of your own mind
unreachable
your reality is far from what is real
what are you, who are *you

Reality is all about our perspectives coming together creating one giant ball of ****.

jacky Jan 2014

today

the turn of events
one I was not expecting
when you were just on the back of my mind
we stumbled upon each other
on a day your schedule was way out of hand
my hand
I got shy, but still
you opened you arms
stretched out them, long but thin arms
and you enveloped me
and, oh you smell like you
and your floral perfume
squeezed me a little
and I think must have died
when your low but high-pitched voice
and breath smells of menthol after you've just smoked
uttered my name,
just my name

and that is the moment
that
today turned into
*my kind of
day

The best things happens when you really least expect it.