thinking about you
as my ex
feels wrong
***** even
because you are not
something i can
just leave in the past
you are tangled in
my past
my present
and my future
you have seen parts of me
known parts of me
touched parts of me
and learned parts of me
that no one has before
and i don’t know how you feel
but those moments
will forever be tangled
in past, present, and future

i think seeing you happy
makes it easier
because i saw it
how miserable you were
towards the end
and if this is what you need
to be happy
to not be with me
then i will have to learn
to be happy too
because i still
care so deeply about you
that seeing you smile
will always
make me smile

is it wrong
that i want
to kiss
someone else
i don't know
how much longer
i can stand
having you be
the last person
i kissed
because
i will wait
and wait
and wait
and wait
to be able
to kiss you again

i am still trying
to separate
the things i love
from the memories
of us doing them together
when that song comes on
i am still learning to
sing along
because i deserve to
enjoy the things i love
without having to
think about
enjoying them with you

for so long
i gave all of my love
to you
if you
would have asked
for my heart
or my hand
or my head
i would have
happily given it
to you
but now
i think maybe
it is time
to give myself
all of my love

and i have to ask myself
how could you
have ever loved me
if you never gave us
a chance
and i keep wondering
what did i do
to make you stop loving me
but maybe
you never loved me
or you were never in love with me
maybe you loved feeling loved
or having someone to hold you

heart break is a great
writing prompt
and yet
i so badly wish
i had nothing
to write about