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 Nov 2010 Pink Taylor
lillian
Signs
 Nov 2010 Pink Taylor
lillian
It is always dark outside when I see your face
Your wide eyes glisten against the moon
I keep my hands folded, my ankles crossed
My body twitches in confusion
Time passes and I ease into a comfortable, careful state
The first time you kiss me is always the sweetest
Never lasts long, but drowns out the sound of car tires and fluctuating voices if only for a moment
I search for signs in the way you brush an arm against my back
Signs of what I can’t expect
Signs of what I want to expect
Staring into you as long as I can, until my gaze shifts past you
You toy with me; tease me as if this is a game.
As if I am a game.
We walk together
You talk to me, I talk to the sidewalk
You make me want to burst
Something about the way that you never seem to care in the way everyone else would
If I stood up and walked away, you wouldn’t come after me
Something about that frustrates me, but makes me want to stay
Never go home
I know I should let it go, let it fade into unfulfilled memories
Before I hurt
I know that every step I take will pull me down
I know that
But I listen beyond a melody, to the mumbling verses I can’t yet understand
For signs
I’m always searching for signs
I thought that I was finally ok.
I thought we were on good terms.
I thought you thought good thoughts of me,
And my unclear way with words.

I thought you thought you could return a book
In exchange for a DVD,
And had faith that you would hear
No unkind words from me.

But I was wrong of what you thought
In no uncertain terms
And now all of the thoughts I had
Are meaningless words, words, words.
 Nov 2010 Pink Taylor
Kali Namir
You smile, I smile.
You wave, I wave.
I hug, you hug back.
I’ve fallen, but I doubt you have.

I know you might be a little awkward,
But I can work with that.
I know you might be a little anti-social,
But so am I.

I find you adorable,
But do you me?
I make me laugh,
But do I you?

I know it’s odd,
We’ve known each other how long?
Not long in fact,
Not long enough for me to ‘know’ you.

I know you in a daily way,
But I don’t know who you are.
I want to though,
Really I do.

I want to know what makes you tick,
I want to know what makes you YOU.
I want to know your successes,
And I want to know your mistakes.

I want to get to know you,
I want to hang out more.
I want more hugs from you,
I simply want you.

You’re like that lanky worn out teddy,
The one you clutch and feel safe.
The teddy that keeps away the sad thoughts,
The teddy that helps you fall asleep.

I think you’re what I need,
Something safe and sturdy.
I think you’re that wall,
The one I need to lean on.

I may never tell you this,
But at least I told me.
And for now,
I guess I can work with that.
 Nov 2010 Pink Taylor
lillian
Now look here
You’ve left me with nothing else to say
I’m here, my arms outstretched, my body curled and aching
There are no unspoken promises
No feelings left unfelt
You have undressed my heart
Made love to my soul
I watch the perfect curves of your mouth
As they sing the songs of love that I’ve heard
But never listened
Never believed
Until I felt the melody
Humming deep inside of me
This is love this is what it means how it feels to be loved
Love
Like being in a comfortable daze
Perfectly happily hungrily
No matter how much you give me I want so much more
The second that you turn away
I feel lost
Comfortably lost
I close my eyes and there is a thick blanket of darkness
Nothing else, not even pain
It is love but it feels like I am going to cry forever, without tear drops
It is love but it feels like I have just woken up
Living in a cocoon of memories that are fading and almost gone
I miss it but soon I’ll forget
Because I live this dream every day
When I think of you and see your smiling face
Precious and beautiful
You are
I wish you could see me, the new me, now.
I’d take back the words I used to believe.
Blind faith, was all our age would allow.
All of us right or wrong were still naïve.
Would you laugh at me? Or would you smile?
If I knocked on your door- said I’m sorry?
My memories sweet, of a girl thought vile-
the cloudy night sky now clear and starry.
You were just confused, godless and alone-
given a life we didn’t understand.
Too young to have known, we’d cast our cold stone.
So strong, ****** and bruised, yet still you’d stand.
Dare I say these words? Catlin, I love you.
Funny, you’d never believe it was true.
His hand lightly floats above her back,
Seeming still to the rest of his moving body,
Tips of fingers gently touch, stroke,
her bare skin.
She dances closer,
They move to her hips fit perfectly along her warm flanks,
hip bones protruding under her thin dress.
Shadows tremble across the ceiling,
together they move bathed in green light,
Red on closed eyes and open mouths from which the sounds crash into music before them,
Yellow illuminated empty bags strung on the wall,
and baby christmas lights flash above their heads.
The shirtless drummer slams the beat, pulsing through the wires out the speakers into waiting ears,
gushing,
like a hose whose knot is suddenly uncoiled,
as his super-sized slushy melts.
Big boots bang the floor,
arms pump,
she wails into the microphone.
Through throngs of laughter, body heat and cigarette smoke outside the door, hidden in the darkness the saturates the parking lot,
hunkers a ***** truck.
Mud splatters like exploded glow sticks.
What are you sitting on?
Bass Nectar throbs into the seats,
is absorbed into the tires,
one window is open a crack.
Inhale. Inhale. Again. Again. Exhale.
Still, through the smoke, and the ***** windshield,
the stars still glow.
Dance with me?
No.
Let me play with your hair.
No.
It's mine.
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