I don't need my eyes
If I can't see you
Even if you're looking at someone else
I don't need my ears
If I can't hear you
Even if your words aren't meant for me
I don't need my hands
If I can't touch you
Even if you can't feel me
I don't need my voice
If I can't call your name
Even if you aren't there to reply
I don't nee my nose
If I can't smell your scent
Even if you don't think I noticed you changed your shampoo
I don't need my brain
If I can't think of you
Even if you don't know you're always  on my mind
I don't need my heart
If I can't give it to you
Even if you can't accept it
I don't need anything
If I can't have you
Even if you're everything to me

The attraction is there
Undeniably so
I can not run from it
I can not hide from it
It's there
And that's okay

You and those eyes
Admiring my body
Followed by your hands caressing my form
Oh it's there
And I like it
Of course

We are doing animal things
All night long
In a bed not made for ourselves
When morning comes we will become people again
And do people things
And go about our lives until night comes
When we can be animals again

You'd rather do animal things
Than people things
And so would I

Responsibilities take you from me
And that's all right
Because they are important
And I understand

Besides
I'm the rational one
I have to tell you to do these people things
Or we would do animal things all into the day

I'm carnally pleasing to you
I know this
I see it in your eyes
And how your hips respond to mine

Instincts take over whenever we are together
Animal things have to be done
The lack of self-control
In a bed that is not made for ourselves
Is so very supposed to be
Meant to be
And that's okay

I can not run from it
I can not hide from it
This undeniable attraction to you
Is so overwhelming that all I think about
Is doing these animals things
Even if I am the rational one

Doing animal things
In a bed not made for ourselves
Is quite all right
It's more than okay
It's perfect.

Tick-tock of the clock
Time is running out
It feels like everything is moving quickly
I don't know what this is about.

I've lost control
Though really I never had it
Just an illusion I created
Another bad habit.

I fear getting older
I feel I'm not young enough
I want to grow up, I want to get out
Break free, a diamond in the rough.

Shine me up, sparkly
Rub down all my edges; smooth so smooth
Round off all my corners
Encourage me to move, move, move.

Push me! Shove me!
Get me going
Touch me the right way
Get the juices flowing.

Excite me, entice me!
Then burn me out
Let the wax run hot
Down, down, all about.

Change.
I hate it. I hate it.
I love it. I love it.
A love-hate relationship.

The lack of control
When change happens
Is terrifying
And nerve-wracking

But I accept everything as is
I've learned to let things go
Even though I burn hot, so hot
I let my wax flow.

Free, so free
I'd love to be
Trapped, very trapped
But now I see.

There's a *** of gold at the end of every rainbow
Though it's never found
It's a hope to grasp onto
A reason to keep your head above the water so as to not drown.

And eventually, metaphorically
I will find that *** of gold
My wax will run to the end of the wick
And everything I have will be old.

And with the old I will know
More than I've ever known
But until that I day, I must say
I have a lot, so far, that's grown.

So let the wax burn
Let the change exist
I will allow the loss of control
And the passing of time will persist.

Acceptance.
It's so hard, but so nice.

I wanted to rip your heart out
And eat it like it were a fruit
Just so you could die
Like you made me want to.

I thought I loved you
At one point, maybe twice
But it was really just hate
That started at a small height.

I gave you everything
Bent over backwards, upside down
I served my heart in place of yours
But my love you never found.

Your perception was twisted
You wanted to tear me apart
Said I was the lusted, the wanted
But you were wrong from the start.

I was weak, you were right
And from you I learned so much
That I can't let people walk on me
Least of all let them touch--

My heart.

You see I took it back from you
And threw the truth in your face
Even after all we had been through
You placed me as a disgrace.

I let you down but in reality
You let ME down
And I had to figure **** out
After you left me with a frown.

Stabbed me in the back countless times
Asked me for money and favors
And I wrote out all your rhymes
For you poetic labors.

It was all my hard work
Thrown down the drain
But I let you go
And inevitably you went insane.

Because I set my rage free
And you clung to it for years
I know it held you back
Causing many of your tears.

And still I never wanted to hurt you
I just wanted you to see
That you couldn't treat anyone like that
Least of all me.

So maybe I was your wake up call
Or at least I planted the seed
Someone else can water it
But I suppose you've become a ****.

I've heard things 'round the bend
That you've finally been seen for what you were
I always knew that side of you
But I was friends with something else, what it was, I'm not sure.

And once I learned
And grew up
I traveled on
And threw you out of my cup.

And that cup I filled
Not with anything of you
But everything of me
And all I had been that was true.

And now here I am
Doing fine without you
But I don't regret any of it
Because it was part of everything I had to go through.

Thank you.

Am I a wanderer?
You would think
surmise
muse that
after twenty five
years with
myself I
would know

All I have
determined is
that sometimes
I lay awake
Like an alien
In my own bed
And feel the holes
worn in my feet
by shoes standing
too long
in one place

Maybe that's
my answer
or Maybe it
just scares
me to remain
where the
ground can
keep tabs
on me.

Because if
I do, then
Life can
Catch Up
long enough
to shake her
Finger at
Me til I
Cry.