These scarlet tears
They shrink the lies,
The pain that's crept its way inside

They hide the dark,
Make me not see.
Even when it sits right next to me

These scarlet tears
They shut my eyes
Thye silence sobs and muffle cries

Don't you know
They're my escape
From my so-called life
That is so fake

These scarlet tears
Dearly beloved friends
They'll stick with me till my decided end...

It's been a while
from when the bright sun first
rose into my heart
Replacing my thirst

But night soon creeps
And loneliness does wrap
It's hands round my neck
and sinks claws in my lap

My need for blood comes
As waterfalls fly
Deep down in my pillow
My concience it cries

I silence them all
Monsters neath my bed
Monsters in the corner
Monsters in my head

Usually so impulsive
I hesitate
Won't follow my throat
to those words
to that place

I am very fond of you
I know
Because I am so jealous
of the things
that I don't

But those little words
imply so much
Take us much farther
than the world of  touch

And if I were to follow
That path where it leads
I would lose my footing
fall down on my knees
lost all over again
on a road
I don't know

What does it take
     to have an honest will to
                                           stop?
     to stop regressing
                   in your patterns
                      and create the
          place you want to be

I gave up my everything
to be "free"
   and I found I was only lost
A bobbing head in the
     dark sea

But I can no longer wait for
      someone to rescue me
        I can no longer deny
                             myself freedom
                             that I need
Where is the passion
                   the automatic desire
to take my hands
from off my own throat
and stop choking
myself?

Why do I enjoy that
           so much?

The shrill reaches my ears
And I'm in tears
        Solid stone shaken by
a gust of wind
        Solid bone shattered by
a whispered secret

My pendulum swaying
             balance broken
How can you walk around
    when the walls are shaking?

Steady peace
is what I'm trying to reach
  struggling
     when all my flat feathers
have been ruffled
     when all the outside has
           been muffled
by the silent storm within

by the breaths caught
       short and fast
more choked back
            than the last
try to remain steadfast

try to recover
when all the noise is over
when the pain is really gone
    why does it linger?

Why am I still trying to
            figure out
How to turn the ****
                             thing off
  when the task has been
              accomplished
when the ringing
          has already stopped?

I am nothing more
than a ring you want to wear
A burden
        you must bear
               Those painful memories

I am nothing more
than a tail you want to chase
the warmth
        of an embrace
                Your lustful enemy

I am nothing more
than a name you want to shout
The wanderer
          to your devout
                Your hidden self

I am nothing more
than a book you don't want to read
a stranger
          you don't see
                 Your dusty shelf

But you are everything to me
   And I can't see
      how you can
            ignore your heart
   I don't understand
      why you find it so necessary
  that we spend so many
              hours apart

More and less complicated
Every single day
in every sing way
          in every instance
               every frame of mind
Seeing life more as a game
                 complicated
                                       yet
                                         simple

I would want
nothing more
than to be
           the wind
Free to go
                   do
                      say
            as I please
      no consequences
      no disease

Being born an
'American'
means I want
to live the
'American Dream'?
       I don't
think so mister
      this is
hardly the land
     of the 'free'

selfish fools