You've become something
that I don't remember anymore
Come back,
you're far too distant
sway with me
you're offbeat
Why can't you just lose yourself
you're too controlled
be here with me
be one with me
you're far past distracted

What is this even worth to you?
You're scanning down your list
but where am I?
Where do I fit in between these lines?

I'm caught
in the web of an offset spider.
Not caring enough
to eat my heart
and make it his.

Make it yours.
Take it
if you wish.

Is it your fault or mine?
I don't know.
You find yourself annoyed
and bitter at me
more than usual.
I find myself defending
then fighting back
more times than I can count.

You're a cheerful
happy
joyful
person.
But I've seen your razor edge
all the ice you can throw
at someone with your words.
I know your cruel side
Under your charisma
is a dark shadow.
Full of criticism and judgment.

Once I do something wrong,
step an inch over the line,
you're there later
to throw it in my face
use it for your guilt-tripping
I cannot have one word
of defense.

He's pushy
jerky
and pretends to have respect
If you ask me
you guys are perfect for each other.
You have so much in common.

And then I catch myself
with a ***** tongue
speaking slander of you,
my friend.

How can I do this?


Who did we become?

Will you step up to the plate
swing and take your best chance
It's so ******* easy, boy
Just look at the ball.
It's right there waiting
in front of your eyes.
Moment paused
you stand bat drawn back
Staring at this chance in front of you
you act like you're ready
What the hell is your problem, boy?
You flippin idiotic
or somethin?
You look like you're ready
you act like you want to
so swing
the ******* bat already!

Calm yourself, little girl
questions mean nothing.
glances are nothing.
Don't start getting all high and mighty
thinking he's thinking of you.
You're nothing.
You're nothing in his eyes
but a flirty little girl.

He doesn't seem like that?
Well, have you ever thought of what you seem like to other people?
Well it's nothing like you are.

Just remember,
you're no priority in his life
until he proves such.

Don't make him important
if you're not that important to him.

I didn't stop to think.
No, really think it over.
Ask myself: Is this really what I want?
I was going for a quick fix
I thought it would make this feeling go away.
I actually thought it would work.
And the idea made me so,
expectant, I guess.
I just jumped for it.
Now my situation lies
untouched, the same,
with a side of complication.

I was in a hole
And I couldn't climb out
without possibly falling.
So I kept digging
thinking I could make it
to the other side of the world.
What a fool I was.

I shall try climbing.


Even if I could fall.

I'm fighting for happiness
But it's slipping through my fingers
like the sands of time
that it took you to take your words back
-stop stealing mine
I don't like your sweet teasing ridicules
they burn through my fingertips
whenever I touch you
your kiss seals my lips
from screaming like I want to
Your embrace imprisons me
From running like I yearn to
Your heads stop the fists
I need to make
Your caring eyes stop the tears
Product of the burns you placed on my heart
There's a gaping hole in the emptiness that I put between us
I'd like to sit close
But you don't deserve it
Punishing you
for the shame
of putting me to tears.

Everything sails smoothly
even on the inside
until I watched that movie
(in the theater we went to on our first date)
and the people that everyone wants together
always end that way.
no matter how many
hardships they trial.
And I know
(as I watch them embrace on the big screen)
that you'll never care for me
never again.
You don't even hurt
like I do
You never have.
(She cries on his shoulder, even when he hurt her)
It never stops
the loneliness
I need you.
But you don't care.
I want you to stop making me fall to pieces
every single day
I want you to stop watching me
(I can see you, even if you don't think so)
No, I won't make eye contact
No, I don't want to be friends.

"Go back to the rock from under whence you came"

You don't even care.
Don't say sorry.
I know you don't mean it.
*******.

You said you loved me but you never did.
You said you trusted me but you never shared.
I need some relief from your memory
I need a release from this