My world has turned grey
My smiles all fade
Why can't you come back to me?
I hate to say
That I'm wasting away
But without you I'm definitely
Not who I used to be.

The world has turned numb
And the darkness keeps attacking
All I can say is
I need you.
You help me stand strong
From the demons
But now you are gone
And they bury me quickly.

I have your words,
your voice, your pictures;
But it's cold without you here.
I need you to come back
And take my hand

I don't know how much longer
I can stand.

Tonight I am alone
And I feel it in my veins.
I am not needed for your life to continue
And I never will bee.

Tonight, every friend I have encountered
Is with other friends
Laughing, playing,
Boozing, tripping,
And here I sit.
On the outside in the fence of my own self.
Trapped from ever becoming more
From ever having that certain spark
That certain thing
That makes any one person
Like you.
Tonight
I am here and I am staring into my future
Shivering
From how alone I might be.

And I know my heart is tricking me

Because
Losing him just seems like losing everything.

Monsters in my head
And I can't stop them
There's demons in my bed
And they won't stop this I do my best
But I can't will them out
They take no rest
Until I force them out
Only on thing can cure this agony
His brother pain comes in at last
He fights my fight and stands by me
He cures dark thoughts
And painful memories

Bring pain in
And give me relief
From this endless

Today you choose to haunt me
Or shall I say who you used to be
What we used to have
Your energy
Your smile
Got lost somewhere
I miss who you used to be
As if you were dead
A shining star that lost its light
A beating heart that doesn't love me anymore.
It used to be so precious to me
No matter what anyone said
No matter how badly I was treated
You were precious to me
Who you were is precious to me.

But in these days where we do not speak
Where you haunt my dreams
I cannot tell you
How much I wish I were in he past
When your voice still had that light to it
When your eyes were excited
And you were still happy about life

When you had your punk music and your rebellion
When you hated everyone
But me.

But now I will be the only one you hate.

Some days I'm ok with that.
But today it haunts me.

I wish I had the perfect words to say
Wish I had the perfect plan to pull
To open your eyes,
To pull off the veil
I wish that deep down inside
You wanted to stay
You didn't want to be like them
You didn't want to be a part of them.

I wish you could see
How ******* it is.
I wish you didn't believe.
I wish you could actually be the complete perfect picture that I paint in my head.

But that won't ever happen.

Still
I look for any clue or excuse
For you to not love the thing I hate

Is it impossible?
Am I wasting my time?

What do I do
With a love like you?
The light of your heart is so brilliant
Yet I see darkness in our future

Here I have stumbled myself into
What I always Swore I would never touch
I told myself I could not live this hell
My one promise to myself.

And yet here I am.
Playing with fire
Just begging to be burned
Begging to be hurt.

What do I do
With such a perfect love as you?

You are my precious other
And yet you hold his beliefs.

Were they just as foolish?
How will I get through this?

That look in his eyes
And I retreated
To the dark, dark place where even my mind won't bother me.
Where I become nothing
And nothing welcomes me.

I retreat to the place I have not been
For such a while
And I don't even feel myself falling
Into black.

Time ceases.
Nothing consumes.

But his voice becomes light
And its kindness pulls to me
"Come back," he says.
"Come back."
My eyes open to him
And he gazes back at me,
Perfect and sweet.
"Where did you go?
You left me all alone."
That is it.
He understands.

And I will never feel for anyone

What I feel for this perfection in front of me.

I will never be able to love someone

As much as I love him.