And if i choose you
id be choosing the type of happiness
that comes with the cost of pain
but id choose you forever
again, again and again

they only appear when i shut my eyes
but id rather see them claw
from underneath my bed

whilst it's breath never brushes my skin
i still hear it's shrieks and cries
the others are still asleep

and id rather see and face my fears
than live in this wretched body -
because i promise you,

it never stops mocking my sanity

And i needed to voice my thoughts
but if i did, you would worry
so my thoughts shall remain thoughts
and my voice will stay voiceless

and inside i was a tide
but all they saw were barely ripples
and inside i was screaming
but no one heard me begging there

And inside i was a mess
but they decided that my hair was neat
and that i was already clean
because they didnt see the shadows lurking under my eyes
or the dust collecting in my thoughts

and when i wasnt even hiding
when i knelt down and prayed
you said that you were always there
but you never dared to answer me

because i am still ******* here
and though i beg for you to let me go
i wake up and my heart still beats...
i thought you were always listening

and inside i was dead
how i wished that the outside
would show it

my fingers will burn
and the tips may even char
but im reaching
and im reaching
for the second brightest star

i will be reaching,
and so will you
we dont care if it burns us
because the sun, is in view

though, my heart is beating
so loud i hear it in my ears
and though my wrists
may be painted blue


why does it feel like death?