the morning that you left
i bought a black felt pen
and almost drew your face
in the mirror

the morning that you left
i bought a flower
and thought about watering it

the morning that you left
i went for a walk and
caught a cactus
in my foot

your soul is
what tumbles
from your old youth;
toothless, mute -
and beautiful.
it disputes the diluted musical
that unfolds you...
proof-less, your lute
is full.

your soul is
where you twist rocks and fell from -
a great height, below your skin suit, dull.
it drew you
with resolute ink, with a needle
and spoon...
etched on the cuticle,
a portrait
of your
skull.

and
you're every
nebulous
moon.

Lust with your hurt, live with your lies.
Kiss with secrets, crawl to survive.
We are living, we are alive.
Tormenting me slowly, tearing me apart.
You stole something from me and it was my heart.
It took you three days to break down the walls.
On the tenth you burned down the whole town.
Hour one without you, did you think I would doubt you?
With my heart in your pocket and my soul lay at your feet. I’m reckless.
I don’t think we knew anything about love; we were just scared to be alone at the time.
You were my rock and I was your shield.
Keeping us both safe in the comfort that the both of us were there.
You took everything you could get, and left me with nothing.
Nothing is all I ever got in return from you.
You used me.
That’s all I ever felt I was there for, is that all I could have ever been, is there?
I tried my hardest, and I understand it’s not my fault, but I have no problem taking the blame, just for you.
It’s not the length that I walked for you, It’s just you let me go miles before telling me goodbye.
I know that I walked the distance, but I never knew, what could have happened if I would have just ran them?
I’m sorry I’m not fast enough to make everything better, just believe in me.
I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to hurt no more.
(Its 5:34 and you’re not here.)
Today I’ve learned something especially from you, that I’m my own worst enemy.
So I’ll turn the infantry against me, and I’ll just let them shoot.
I’ll let the war wear down inside me, but never is the fight over.
The war is just beginning to turn into internal peace.
Within I am learning to be happy, so I can be happy again.

come fall,
this will all be overgrown.
a wild plot of earth and flushed skin
by then... this will be not like it was
a bramble of hemispheres, moist
in direct light, glistening entangled
in free reign. a ***** display of alien
thought. a monster of perfect joy
an overcome acre of hostile sea
seething annihilation with tendrils
of unfettered need; you'll see
from here
a new kingdom of red leaves
and undulating corridors, throbbing
utopian, come fall, a Saturnalia
on all fronts. a battalion of fireflies
lending a pale glow to a rampage
of silk knots and earthquakes
a teeming fractal of unchecked
ambition. the fission of new stars
but a small spark, come fall...
and come fall, you'll be mine.