Step lightly
if night invites you
into her silent prison
as gentle wind
fondles naked trees

Tread slowly
if stars offer you
their cruel white hands
to climb higher than highest
that man is to climb

Move cautiously
when the unholy light
shines upon your way
while inferior blindly
to the quiet shadows

Knock gently
so you won't make her scared
(always like tiniest yellow bird
ready to succumb to flight
to make her escape)

Love deeply(love wholly)
for her eyes are
eternal emerald skies
and her ****** mouth
a little taste of paradise

Leave reluctantly
being robbed of sleeping
wait out the light
and let the sad rain
fall down all night

Tears all dried up
Hope but a faded memory
and numbed heart, pierced
by thousands of daggers

as

she leaves to journey with her new lover.

(And soon she will no longer think of thee.
She will not spare a thought in her newly found delight.
And you, only an old, rusty flower already set to die out,
are replaced in her soul and in her mind).

Battleground
Of perpetual motion
Reigns upon calm thoughts
Of devastated soul
Called simply me
Though in fact it's
Wasteland from here
Until the rest of nights
Spent without you

But now
Your presence brings
No comfort

It's of no use darling
I turn off the light
And show you my back

Your tears seem scared and empty
Hush please
Don't you weep

Wait out the morning
And the sun trapped
In its journey without end

Then leave my bed
Since you can't leave my mind
Leave and don't look back

Or show me how to love
Give something that's missing
Cleanse me of sorrow in my mind

I know I know I know you can't
Your heart belongs to someone else
And mine is lost spinning

In the darkening night
When dawn is far
Unreachable to my spirit

It seems that it will never come
Stopping this perpetual motion
Of heart until one is none

Until the war is lost (no strength found)
And familiar hands of sorrow touch
My loneliness on mind's battleground

A little wooden doll springs
to life each night in my dream
in a wooden box hung
over firing hearth

Soon it’s gonna be over
and I would help but my
skin is glued to the chair
ripping it with flesh if I move

I’m crying and bleeding
from somewhere of my chest
where the tears are poison
coming to the hole in my heart

Eternity later helpless knocking stops
and life is taken by flame
that rises and slowly
fills the lightless room

It’s strange though for I’m
certain I see everything burning
but the world
just feels so cold**...

Who am I 
Who is this life everybody talks about 
A stranger passing through 
Strange land
Cleansing rain
Winter cold bites the flash
A monk sitting naked on the snow
The first man and the last 
Ash and dust
Ash and dust 
Building a cottage with blooded hands
On the hill that nobody climbs 
The sky touches his head
The sun guides his heart
He looks into the world
And it is silent
Who is he
And who is this life you're taking about
A stranger passing through strange land

Come dear brothers and sisters
a generation to come
not with iron chains
and tedious talks of freedom

Come you children of Sartre
and even of Nietzsche
for we head for common ground
whilst they only feed on war

Come forth spirits of the love age
full of Buddha and compassion
for ours is a time to come
theirs exhaling its last breath

No love for
war
        nation
                    hatred
                               racism
overcome prejudice to live in peace
maybe even be sad for a time
but never cause harm
never cause death
never wish ill
compassion
to all
.

Choose your faith

And

Die

Long has the wait been
And patiently I have waited.
Underneath the days a silent parody;
A thought of a thought of a man
To whom nothing ever happens.
Imprudent seasons gently rolling by.
Always growing, always falling is the willow´s leaf.
Hazy steps in the freshly fallen snow
Are trying to rook one to the endless empty sleep.

The hour is now rich for the reaping
Of the Inherited legacy of stillness.
And time, always time,
Yet ahead still walking or limping
Gives a deeper meaning for a while,
The eyes to see a lover´s smile,
And then slowly with the sardonic immunity
Sacrifices everything you have ever loved
To the single eternity.

The land of Canaan lays covered in blood
Which mingles with sand and yellow dust;
A solemn initiation of a continuing life.
The Temple has long fallen and its ruins
Are much older than the silent millennia.

From east to west, from north to south,
Wandering feet make themselves known
In the sand, just for a while until the wind
In his great wisdom covers them away
And hides them from the millennia.

And ye, gentiles, be not harsh with the souls
Of the buried, for they knew not their mistakes.
Cherish every rock and tree giving you shelter
From the sun for which there is no cure
As it shines unto you for the millennia.

When the land of Canaan shall be finally yours,
When the waters start pouring from rich oases,
Will you finally be content and self-satisfied?
Will your pride allow your heart the freedom
It has sought for the empty millennia?

With the altar and the Temple rebuilt,
Will your ***** hands throw down the trowel?
Will you lay down your sword and face
The wretched generation of enlightened men
That has grown out of the motionless millennia?

And when the King shall call onto thee again,
Will you come at the error of your ways?
Will you bow, will you utter a frightened grace?
Will you show him the haggard face
You’ve tried to hide from his eyes for millennia?

Or will the broken city of Jerusalem,
Will it always be broken?

Do not speak of flowers

burning and burning the rose
petals find a glimpse of world
right before they collapse in ash

Do not speak of your lovers

no matter who they stand opposed
if two or more, your always cold
hands never tremble nor abash

Do not speak of night

fearing each and every day
as the beams bow lower
before her curly silver touch

Do not speak of what is right

killing your spirit slowly prey
on weak minded and lost
people wanting to die too much

Do no speak of love

and her skin being ripped off
soul chained to a heavy stone
idea lost in the motionless spark

Speak do not

only the silence prepares to be
our judge as the winter paints
the icy flowers in a complete dark

And when you ask

is there anything left to talk?
My poor hard heart is dead
as is your idle flaming heart

Tearing my worlds apart 
Was forever your speciality
Kissing my wounds
Then biting a piece of heart

Now in these land of mine
Only rocks grow from poisonous
Ground with soil of flame
Everything that once was died

I come around your store
Every morning in cold silence
But you're all sold out
With sign closed on the door

And everywhere is wrong place
For kissing you with lips of darkness
Always prepared to leave
For you if only not for time and space 

Walking in the city lights
Miles away from eyes that once loved
Waking in the empty bed blinded
By night, loosing all my fights

I found myself alone cold
In the stillness of the dead
And the dead said to me
Your life's already old

You're long gone with all clothes packed
Cigarettes not as heavy as they should
Hands shaking with deadly colour of blue 
Looking down from 10 storeyed flat

And what is there to keep me from the jump
What is there to keep me in this life
What is there that could have me loved
Only death only silence only finishing this song

At frozen midnight when he reached
the lonely mountain’s peak
(only patient owl and restless rabbit
keeping him their ghostly company)
he beheld before him deep in a valley
a city with its lights so bright
one could weep the rivers of gratitude

City people love and hate it at once
as it shines the light on the middle
of every man’s fall
minutes before utter destruction
of every sensation felt
different for thousand times and more
a great theater of many actors
each living and dying in their characters
that they themselves created out of desire
but it is only and only the moment
the short duration between the dark and dark
that franticly matters in their distorted hearts
that and only that moment in time
when light turns to them
and they are seen by others
a moment of shammed fame
for nobody’s listening
but waiting for his part

The owl silently caught the rabbit
while he turned to sleep the other away
his back facing the city lights

Yesterday the other man
cried bitterly absorbed by
solitude of his blue eyes
Today I smile warming
charmingly (hiding cowardly
in the depths of nowhere
above the clouds under
the sky) people who know not
(do not want to know) about
the clash of storm and light
while stillness remains intact
Yesterday the other man
jumped from the bridge only
to be welcomed by gentle
perishing touch of river god
who gave him his life
(even though death was asked)
Today I fold my freshly dried
clothes and hide them on
the highest shelf never to be found
Yesterday the other man
ran and disfigured his soul
to not understand love’s call
Today I try to find something
I lost but forgot what it was
just roaming through back alleys
with hope for touch (but it
is already far too long)
Yesterday the other man
lied in my bed and through
closed eyes he saw woman beloved
in flowery dress with silent hair
barefooted luminous and fair
his dreams betrayed him once again
for in the morning she was never there
*Today I wake up alone
afraid to die
not knowing how to live

There once was a house in the woods
with coloured birds sining on its porch.
There was a house on the soil full of stones
and noone to hear their song.

I found it one autumn afternoon;
Walking on the leaves graves
I knocked on the door when song
vanished and silence remained.

Wooden walls of every room
brought the sadness to my soul.
I felt your presence in the air
though in my mind laid a hole.

Maybe it was in another life;
was I too late or too soon?
Only thing that remained true:
I was alone without you.

I left you a note on the kitchen table
with few rhymes that you might like
for if you ever come back here again
you’ll find you and me alike.

Walking alone from that place
with no destination in sight
I remember the house on the soil full of stones
and moon falling in the night.

In the morning the birds cut out the heart of silence
singing in the quiet sunbeams all day long
while on the kitchen table laid my lines saying:
within my heart you’re my only song.

I was with you that autumn day
when a performing mime accidentally
laughed loudly on a whim
and the disgruntled crowd threw him
and his little french hat overboard
into the silent river.

As he landed and was swallowed
by the hungry cold hands of disinterest
a flock of birds flew up into the darkening sky
bewildered by the ridiculous voices
wishing him to drown with his muddy painted face
and be taken to the black sea.

The night had just begun but people
had already decided on their heavenly fate
soon forgetting the poor wretched mime rising
from the bank; the river being within him as a great
past god inflaming his anger franticly over sorrow
denying him thus the privilege of peace.

There and then, I looked into your eye
mirroring the red moon between grey clouds
the waters beneath it and the thousand lights
of the city we once believed divine
though its greatest days had gone buried
under the mountains of cheap laughter and gore.

And when the single tear appeared on your cheek
I knew that the time of play and games was over;
doomed and ******, the riches of body and soul
had fallen from the pedestal of adoration, desire
reluctantly ended in detachment whilst the mime
half dry already stands prepared for the next woeful show.

And what did you get
O, you famous poets of eternity
What did you get
From all the words
That were scribbled
In the darkness
Which flame couldn’t reach
Or under the lamp
While outside
The world snowed
And was being bombed
*****, murdered
And built again
By the few hands of the faithful

Did the world ever
Repay your kind observations
Did it even notice
Your steps in the snow
The mud and the dirt
That you held in your hands
While offering but a single word

Slowly despair settled
On the knuckles
Of your hands
Vowed itself into the bright hair
Turning it white and soon
To nonexistence

Yet the word remained
Growing through the hearts
Once it got settled in

And when the time
Played out to be the destroyer
It offered a silent prayer

In your eyes is everything
A man could ever know
How it feels to love and be loved
How it feels to be alone

And you restlessly wrote on
Of the pains and of beauty
Of one and all
And though burned
Your life shone for all
To offer hope

This is my last goodbye
I know it took me forever to change
and through that time I hurt you so many times
This is my last goodbye
even so my love has never been stronger before
and it took me forever to realise
This is my last goodbye
Upon your fair lips I pressed mine in hope
that maybe you remember what it means to love
This is my last goodbye
For you forgot, lost or grew hostile to our love
lying and splitting us apart
This is my last goodbye
I suffered what I had to suffer
and loved truly for you were meant to be loved
This is my last goodbye
for I know you can never say farewell to him
for you like too much to be adored
This is my last goodbye
tears will dry sooner or later
I pray that someday you’ll find out how to love again
This is my last goodbye
to all the pain and all the lies
please remember that forever you’ll be loved

Stars (vibrant fragrance of light)
Follow me on a path
Made of stone and memories
(Some of which are forgotten
But for the road and flowers)
To the Unknown in this darkest
Time of black blue sky
(The moon a slender smear
Painted across the universe)
Torches cold left me blind
Gently without a sound
(Air heavy falling upon the land
Watching and waiting its time)
A star or the tip my cigarette
Implying the dark in vein
(In vein words all which were said
And done and timely executed)
Barefooted the souls of my feet
Hard walking on a cold ground
(Blood shed by sharpening stones
Black on black in ravishing dark)
No milestones to show me the way
(No way at all in this night
Until morning calls for light)
I'm heading to and from the point
In the world that I do no know
But slowly patiently humbly
I'm moving on from nowhere to
Nowhere
From you to you

My heart o, how it aches
over and over without a single pause
to let me breathe
(Morrison;
Voice so perfect it could make and angel cry,
words destined to hit the centre of a soul)
and me less than half of nothing
living of small victories in this formidable life;
like when your eyes meet mine
or a chance of being of any help to this world
(maybe seeing and stranger smile)
...
However, it´s getting harder to oper the doors to the next day
I´m lost in the palace of my mind
Everything seems to be working
Everything´s fine
(Yet I slowly die inside)

Why don’t you just **** me with those big dreams of yours,
why don’t you just put an end to the suffering of my fading soul?
And yet you’re still here, smiling with a lover’s smile,
wanting more and more ‘till you got just enough to survive the next day.
Forever in my head you dwell and sing the poisoned song of love
hoping that maybe someday, slowly I’ll marry you
and there and then I’ll change into the circus lion
great and majestic, yet powerless and weak
but most of all alone in darkness
with the relics of my soul dying like neon lights in the night
Being with you was trying to breathe by suffocating myself,
yet the short time with you was as bright as sun
and I adored you ‘till I died.

We are of this world
Though our imagination feeds beliefs
That we are of purpose
We have something more
But it's all only words of silken lies
Each day one is born and another dies
We're trapped in circle resembling flies
As world pities our inability
To give each other happiness and smiles
Or even to understand our pains and cries

do what you want to do
why
a white lie
click
tie around neck
bring madness to the world
help
bring love to our hearts

a mirror
a shinning lamp into
your heart
someone who you
conquer your dreams with
a stimulation for mind
giving
just enough life for your soul
to bloom and
enough hope
to give more

Man longs to leave a mark
On this world before he’s gone;
Some carve their names in stone,
Throw pennies in white fountains,
Circling aimlessly around this
Endless struggle to find purpose-
Some mad immortal preservation,
Just like a miniature spider
In raging winds trying to climb up
On his slender web.

Some seek to preserve themselves
Through their offspring
Creating an image of alienation
In children’s perception.
It is somehow an attempt
To live at least twice
To fulfill what they did not in their prime.
But it never does work that way
And seemingly innocent goal becomes
Doom for their love and pride.

If you asked me what I wish
To leave behind when the time comes,
The answer would be nothing;
I desire simply to disappear.
My only request being to go before you
For without you I’m as good as gone,
The soul reminding a broken stone.
I do not want people to say:
„Look, here, that was a inordinate love!“
I long to vanish without a mark or sound
only with eyes open, in your arms,
looking at my past and present
beautifully materialised,
holding your hand waiting for warmth
to escape my body for the last time.

To cry is to feel
And to feel is to live
And to live is to let go
After all I'm only
Flash and bone
Wandering worlds
Past yours alone
After all I'm only
Wind and sand
Aimlessly roaming
Until you're gone

And to love is to die

Were we blind then
Or are we now ?

Turn on the night
for I can hear it coming
through the day
always the lights
keep on deceiving us

Turn on the night
and let there be light
only in your eyes
let all else in the universe
sink in the dark

Turn on the night
and lie on the bed
a little flame under
a spoon full of black
boiling sweet death

Turn on the night
and let the needle
find its way to your
vein, blood, brain
godless heart

Turn on the night
forever in timeless
seconds of the past
let your eyes of the universe
be dyed in the dark

Light gave itself to the blind
(forming the tones of a rainbow
in front of their souls)
but they did not know it
and being scared and scarred
by many a sound or touch
in their eternal night
forced on them in simplest
evilest waves of rain
(and choruses of thunder)
they rejected the perspective
forever in their halls of shadow
each one separately dwelling
on cold stones of time
with wheel spinning round
the world as explicitly
as the moon and the sun

Then when the Light left
in search for open shores
they felt a backstab on the
top of their spines (a gentle
pich that span their believes
out of line with the dark
in their hearts) but it was
just the closing starless night
(and it was far too late )
that brought false order
back to its unworthy place
(where it was then and now
and will be unchallenged
alone)

I die everytime I think of you;
A man that is nothing special.
Not wise, not strong, not clever,
Nothing that I accomplished
Can take you back into my arms.
Only pain remains forever;
Even when life fades
You can still see its cold hands
Masked as death.
But in fact it’s something more and less;
For it’s a hand of dying hope
That weeps the last tears.
I’ll never see you again...

Lifeless
lifeless are those mountains
and meadows beneath the horizon
Lifeless is the time and yet
forever speeds into the void
I and not I for my body is to be gone
and mind always elsewhere
present in the past but never
with us straying among the stars
Lifeless is the happiness we feel
suffering just a mere illusion of the soul
(what’s the point in laughing into the sun
and crying on the moon? )
Lifeless
lifeless is the darkness and so is the light
feelings wandering all around
to hit us and tear us apart
Lifeless you are
Lifeless I am
I and not I
only the world only the void
and love that sparks all fires
Lifeless is all

I could give you twenty golden doves
to fly around your paths
I could be your guarding hound bitting
the thieves creeping by the door
I could be your lover with flaming eyes
kissing you gently upon the night
I could build a house for kids and us
to cook and tell the stories of the past
I could start the fire in our hearth
when it would be cold on your feet
I could make you laugh on stupidest
jokes tearing the darkness apart
I could calm the tear tempest
when everything would go wrong
I could play any tone to sooth
your soul (I could sing any song)
I could give you my clothes
when you would be wet from the rain
I could love you forever
I could spare you the pain
I could be with you every single day
and night (even when the sun
would cease to shine)
But the decision has been made
and there is just one thing to bade-
-that you would be happy without me
so that death can silently await
my homecoming to meet
you in another prettier life

Killers
of men, women and children
animals, vegetation
and finally of ourselves
for nothing better to do
out of boredom (pain)
a second of fun

Lovers
pationate and yet tense
always ready to abruptly burst
into dreams of others and play
(and let ourselves be played like)
with our prey adoring the moment
more than eternity

Poets
romantics at heart
each keeping our own faith
in god in reason in nothingness
franticly chasing some long lost lives
trying to extract the secret to live
instead of living our time

and if nothing’s set and nothing’s proven
then what are we?
a cloud that longingly rains upon the earth

...and we’re gonna rain until the last drop

What is left
of fallen springs
(and fallen love)
bleeding (as only
springs can bleed)
into everhungry
mouth of earth

What is left
of skinny religions
crucifing for
redemption ( for
some kind of sin
we’ve made)of
eternal soul (but we
can’t remember)

What is left
of those trees (
where we've made love
once) near the river
and the sun that shone
for our smiles
(or maybe only yours)

What is left
of these memories(
only pain) bringing
on their wings (pain)
a hope for another day
(always pain)

Late night
Smoke’s rising from ***** ashtray
which you gave me once

I can’t sleep
Can’t bring myself to put away teddy bear
symbol of your love

It’s dark outside
You’re in another city with another man
Photo on my desk is here to remind

I’ve been with another women
cheated more than once
hurt you almost dozen times

You’re with someone who never
means to bring you harm
Clean, loving and faithful

First, I wanted this poem
to show you that love is always enough
but now I’m not sure

For I know what I’ve done
I know how unforgivable it is
and yet you still love me

Too late have I woken up
too long I’ve been ruining your life
too much you’ve suffered

I don’t dare to say I love you anymore
my heart is torn to pieces
my head aches, life wants to go

I know what I need to do
what is right for you
and lethal for me

But it’s so hard to write or say
or even think, so please
bear with me, bear with me

No words can tell how much
I’m sorry or how much
I want everything to be right

I’d do anything to chain you to me
anything to win your love
but that's not the problem, right?

The past has hunt you
the past has hunt me
the past has ruined our future

The past is me and my wicked deeds
forever written in you
and to rewrite them love’s not enough

I can’t ask you to give me another chance
I didn’t deserve a single one before
I don't deserve you

I must set you free of my being
I must leave and let you forget
for my crimes love’s not enough

Please don’t think I don’t love you
for it would be the biggest lie
I think about you all the time

I have no future without you
But darling I must let you go
you deserve happiness more than love

And to think that he gives you both
makes me want to **** myself
O, how much I was wrong

I have nothing to say to my defense
I can’t change what was done
But I love you with all my heart

Now I see what I need to do
now I’d do anything you want me to
Now I know you were the one

But for the past unchanging
for the pain I caused there is no cure
when love’s not enough

So please go now and never turn back
for you may oversee me dead or dying
and I don’t want you to think it’s because of you

Or please stay with me
and you’ll never hurt again
for I am changed

I know it came too late
hurt too much
and you’re afraid of the past

But I know I love you
and I know I need you
I know I could make much more than love

I could make you smile
I could make you happy
I could make love true again

I doesn’t matter if you love somebody else
or that you date some other guy
for I’ll always be yours

So now go or stay
but please don’t forget
that I hurt you but I also loved

Everything you did
and I will always remember
the children we planned to have

I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you
But then again, it’s not enough

Late night
you left, ashtray is broken into pieces
everything burns, everything’s lifeless
everything’s ash

Once in the summer
when the moon ruled
over the lands of men
with her silver law

you said
love is a perfection
so I hid my pain
deep inside where
it was impossible to see
but it remained with me
each time I smiled
it tore my castles down
each time I cried
it hungrily drunk the tears

you said
love is the end
so I fell silent wandering
in the stars for answer
yet when I looked
into your eyes there
was no end in them
nor the beginning
and the spark you had
was no longer to be

you said
love is the absolute
So I stopped believing
in you for I knew
you lied (even to yourself)
then the pain came to
surface and you saw
my struggle by own eyes
took the brightest of stars
and tangling it in my hair

you said love is us

Nothingness and nothing else
Young and old locking the doors
Pills designed to numb the pain
Mixed with *** and Mary Jane
No one's in there ever again
And even if you hear breathing
Don't mind it, don't bother knocking
It's just that wicked corpse
That drove the soul away
It's just that poisoned mouth
Wishing in whispers to die today

I met her by chance
Beneath her black glasses
She hid sad beautiful eyes
Her lips firm only sometimes
Gave me a pleasure of smile
But still it was sweetest of times
When she talked I couldn't rest
Hanging on her words
In my head and in my heart
I felt colliding of worlds
And soul long lost showed
Itself lifting me from Earth  
My limping life shed a spark
And I knew everything was right
I couldn't believe before
But I found love on first sight
She was sceptical and mocked
Me if I'd remember my love in the morning
But I did and it was only growing
Though I felt she was broken inside
As I was before I met her
I wanted to help so badly
To show her there was something more
In that moment and place
She wasn't listening and did drugs
And I did too to hide the pain
For every moment with her
I wanted to come again
Neither kiss or touch was shared
But it pulled me to her even in
My sleep I cared for her
For her I was mad

You probably don’t think
about me anymore
(as spring about winter
and winter about fall)
But tell me
in the deepest of nights
do you ever wake up
feeling the calling
far from your sight
(and sight of any man
life or even meaning)
do you ever start crying
because the tears from
miles and miles don’t
let you free yourself
from burning (in the
same time dreams
of you were cut
from my heart—
—the reality so painful
and shiningly suicidal)
but don’t worry please
for
the stars and the trees
and the world is
the beginning for you
(for me the end)