I have no control,
I'm just a reflection of emotions deep below,
Feed me some antipsychotics,
Free me from my mind,
Bionic-

I got the sickest of Minds,
Come equipped with the quickest depictions that sicken your eyes,
Unassisted, don't be resistin' the fight,
Trip sixes leave you ******* to die,
Rap circles around you like a serpent constrictin your life,
Drag you through the mud and the muck before I kiss you goodbye like the crucifixion of Christ,
You don't know what's livin inside or what I put into these lines,
You might wanna diss me but it's almost forbidden to try,
**** on you ******* while I'm kissin the sky,
Diss all your writtens while you listen to mine,
A misfit, I'm twisted with an addiction to rhyme,
Watch you stiffen at the sight of me hissin at night,
Silence these voices I tried but my prescription ain't right,
My lungs are collapsin like somethins kickin my sides,
I'm not twitchin, I'm flinchin,
Pay attention, there's a difference,
Somethin wants to get in and take away my decisions,
Sometimes I wonder how the **** I got in this position,
I keep talkin to God even though he don't listen,
He's prob'ly ******* from all the sins I've committed,
Unspeakable actions let the demons in, scratchin,
I keep pleadin and askin but believe I'm the baddest,
Can't seem to keep it, reactin, but receivin the static,
Creepin in the dreams of an addict that needs to be handed,
It's reachin in me and its makin me panic, I'm takin it back and,
Retracin my tracks and erasin the past and,
Replace you with ashes and take the flame back I'm,
Burnin alive while rehearsing these lines,
You can feel it churnin inside, the turnin through time,
You're cursin my life,
Feel like bursting inside-

Feed me some antipsychotics,
Free me from my mind,
Bionic,
Walkin a fine line,
But I called it,
"Its night time,"
Don't worry, I'm on it-

there's nothin I can do to silence you,
nothin I can say to get inside of you,
I'd say **** it and try to fly to you,
just so I could rip your life in two,

but you know I aint that stupid,
I don't know it all but im not clueless,
i'd give it all to you if I knew that I could mute it,

but you just keep picking away,
i'm actually surprised im livin today cuz last night I got this close to ****** it in the drain,

if I could i'd steal your life from you,
but all you like to do is try and light my fuse and when you do..

tick

tick

tick


here we go again,
spinnin around in circles in hate with the world what else is new?
you never shut the **** up no matter how many times I tell you to,
I wanna ****** bury you, it scares me too,
to know that I would do things I thought i'd never do,
but you egg me on,
you **** me off so ****** bad I'd grap your head and tear it off!
I don't care enough to carry on,
I swear to god i've never felt like this,
but all that I can do is tell you ****,
I need a ****** outlet quick before my heart pounds out my chest,
what was fine is now depressed and what's surpressed is now a mess and mixed with all the **** that lives within my ****** head,
here we go again!
-
scream at the moon,
bleed out for you,
"see now the truth,"
kiss my ***,
don't need no help from you..

if only you'd stay the way i'd like you to,
the time before I knew what I know now,
i'd love you the way I did before,
then i'd let you lay me down,
and put me to rest-

sometimes I get so down I wanna die,
sometimes I feel so good I wanna fly,
sometimes I get so ****** I wanna scream,
clench this fist and break your teeth,

sometimes I get fed up with life,
just say **** it and eat a bullet,
life is ******* troubled minds,
but I guess i'll just keep pullin..

..until I explode to you,
aggresion boils in my gut before I show it to you,
depression burns through every cut before I mold it into,
another manic feelin comin up as I try to control it for you,
but its controlin me through,

non-stop waves of long lost pain,
locked thoughts of rage I thought got chained,

but I guess I forgot that the cycle dont stop,
from a climb to the top to a dive bombing drop,
I fly to get shot but this life's all I got so i'll try to lift off and smile when im hot,

just for the sake of me seeming ok,
cuz I hate when they ask,
answer's always the same,
even though I know that I am it'll eventually change,
so despite the fact im wantin to snap im disguising my face,

if only you knew what the **** it takes to hold in my rage,
instead of blowin the place I stand and I pace and bleed on a page,

quiet then talk,
fly and then fall,
violent, calm with my smile and all,

im walkin a lonely road in the coldest weather,
but you know,
whatever-

Forever changing,
Never one thing,
always pacing,
in search of something,

but what? is the question,
this depression is endless,
regressing and trepid,
defenseless,
infected,

hidden words in your beautiful maze,
spoken with taste,
left me broken for days,
hoping for change but the glow in your face,
pokes through the gates of my opening brain,

sold to you,
pain,
is holding me,
caged,
broke through the rain to turn over the page,
hopelessly dazed from the smoldering blaze,

"know the truth...
take..."
I know it's you,
"pay"
emotional waves are controlling me, "slave,"
hold onto the reins in this motionless place-



"focus"

breathing,

"chosen"

seizing,

paralyzed sterilization,
glaring eyes stare through vibrations,
beware, you'll find the stairs to damnation,
my eye sight was taken,
I tried but escaped it,

coming closer to your touch,
every night I try,
I wish I knew what it was,
have I lost my mind?-

"When the sins of my father,
weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go"


you told me when i'd grow up i'd understand some day,
but ever since we went our seperate ways I could never grip why it had to be this way,
back and forth until you slammed the door and went away,
To come back for more and slap your "*****" across the face,

But somethin brought you back to your senses like it always did,
hate your life and blamed your wife but loved your kids,
you staind her mind and made her cry and punched and kicked until she layed to die with bloodshot eyes you ****** *****,

All the alcohol and drugs you did just made me sick,
only ******* hit their women,
I shoulda sprayed a clip,

Sometimes I wished you'd never come back to me cuz I saw my mama truly happy,
and I know that deep inside she loved you once,
but one punch was enough and the rest that came was just too much,
every day you showed up drunk,
it was the same old same and still she showed her love,
I guess you never could appreciate her for what she truly was,

The image of a beautiful lady bruised up is tatted in my brain,
its guys like you that give guys like me a bad name,
cuz "we're all the same" and that could never change,
but one **** up's enough,
who'd walk back to pain?

Bruises fade and scars are covered,
but emotional damage sticks with you,
I love my mother and I know you loved her too,
and what you did wasn't right to you,
but what happened, happened,
I shoulda stuck a knife in you,

She tried for you but won for us,
me and my sisters,
I love em so much and I tell you what,
if they meet a punk like you i'll rip out his tongue,

I won't forgive you for what you done,
but you're still my dad and i'm still your son-

Then I look at you as a person,
I saw through your eyes and heard you cry,
you were always hurtin,
and I don't why but i'm like that too,
I guess we're the same in a way,
maybe that's why I don't like you,

Well i'm older now and I kinda get it,
I had some time to think and I wish you didn't leave,
we left the house but you left for good,
now it hurts every time I drink,
every drug I do reminds me of you,
maybe i'm just tryna hide the pain every time I fly away,
20 year old alcoholic,
i'm in your shoes every step I take,
I even look like you for christ's sake,
its like we got the same brain,

The day you left it hit me,
and ever since it felt like somethin's missing,
but for reasons unexplained I don't wana see your face,
its not because I hate but maybe I just changed,
all that I can say is I hope that you're okay,
my bad for bein cold but my feelings complicate,
but the fact that you're only human is clouded,
all the times that you shouted and pounded your fists in her again and again,
****** me off to no end,
i'm chokin on regret of not jumpin in to bust your head,
i'd give up everything to know you're dead,
nothin's left but painful memories-


"when the sins of my father,
Weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go,"
i'm consumed in regret,
I shoulda stepped in,
but please forgive me mother,
I was too young-

Little lights,
Sparking more than interest in my eyes,
Little lights,
Come from somewhere I'd be scared to find,

Little lights,
Distract me from the horror in my mind,
Little lights,
Keep my eyes wide open with their shine,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Getting closer,
Intertwined,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Dwell inside,
A sinner's mind-

You try so hard,
And I wish it could be,
But my life's so off,
You wouldn't make it with me,

I'm too crazy,
And you're so perfect,
You'd probably hate me,
Me and my curses,

I'm so different,
I'm a little bit backwards,
So I'm keeping my distance,
No happily ever after-