My thoughts poison my body
and I'm giving in
I've lived enough

i don't want to be your friend i want to kiss your lips

Living in the past and scared of the future that I cant live in the present happily

It's getting bad again

Anyone can leave your mind, but your heart . . .

I thought to myself why we couldn't be friends
It isn't because you can't be friends with an ex
It isn't because I still love you or you still love me
It isn't because we haven't moved on
It isn't because we're both depressed and think we are both better off
It isn't because I miss you, my best friend
It isn't because the memories flood back every now and then
It isn't because you want to leave reality
It isn't because I have too much to worry about besides the ghost of you
It's simply because sometimes when people grow, they grow apart
But we are both withering and worse off
So tell me again, why can't we be friends?

Depression and anxiety is a flaw in chemistry
**Not in character

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
and drugs cause cramps
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
*You might as well live

I miss my best friend

For anything you do in life
The smiles should always
Outweigh the tears and if
They don't, change the
Direction you're going in

I was happy,
Weird feeling
After all this
Time passed
I can still
Feel the side
Effects but
They fade
Rather quick

The same person that broke you
**can't fix you

everyone deserves a second chance
**but not for the same mistake

I have no regrets, trust you me.
But that doesn't mean I don't recognize when
I've done someone wrong, made a mistake,
or made the wrong choice.

I often find myself wishing the best for everyone *except myself

I've been teared apart, destroyed, hurt, and broken
The constant hell I've been living in is (has been) home
And it's sad to realize it's comfortable to be so numb

It seems as if my absence didn't do anything to you, but your absence in my life made insanity, anxiety, and depression even more present.
I used to silence your demons but it seems you passed them off to me.

We exchange empty stares
Full of feelings still felt
By both of us, but kept
Hid deep inside thinking
It'll make the pain go away

I begin to assemble what weapons I can find
'Cause sometimes to stay alive you got to **** your mind

The only thing keeping me from escaping this horrible reality is you

The past is dead and buried.
You get nothing from living there.

I long to be your friend again,
Anything but the radio silence you give me.
But I look at you and I feel nothing but love
I still don't know how I'm supposed to
Make it all go away, the pain and love.
The memories still make me smile and might leave a
Bitter aftertaste, but I'd never regret anything.
I just look at you and feel nothing but love,
No amount of heartbreak or screams into nothingness
Will ever let me hate you, and I hope I never have to.
So until next time. . .

Someone once said that the moment you stop to think about whether you love someone, you've already stopped loving that person forever.

I'm trying to be okay with closing
This chapter of my life away
But all these problems will still
Be here after midnight anyway

It breaks my fragile heart
Even further to go through
My 2015 best memories
And they're all with
Someone who I can't even
Recognize anymore

He changed his mind more than a girl changes clothes

I have everything, honey
*Except a **** to give about you

Even forever wouldn't suffice as enough time with you

I feel that
I can tell you
Anything and
Everything

But mostly, I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.

If you can see a future without me and that doesn't, like, break your heart, then we aren't doing what I thought we were doing here

The number of a day full of firsts
And the number of a day full of lasts

How lucky are you to have two hearts in your possession
Yours and Mine
While my chest is hollow and echoes every step I take
Reminding me of the horrendous thoughts I have
I couldn't say "it's your loss, you lost someone who loves you and cares for you unconditionally"
While I am left with broken pieces of myself I don't even recognize
I know what I lost exactly and I'll always want it back
It feels more like a curse than a blessing to have a caring heart full of love
And a mind set on undying hope for the impossible

Well I tried my best
My heart has been ripped out my chest
Nothing left but to cry
I'm sorry dear friend but I want to die
I've made my bed in which I lie
I don't understand, I don't know why
Maybe because you left me high and dry,
Maybe because you said goodbye
I won't[die]; it's fine, I'm just wandering in space
My mind and heart are in fast pace
How the hell is this 'okay'?
I wish the world would stop the noise
in my head; I just want to hear his voice
Oh how silly I'm being for a boy
that still brings me joy

Say you love me, I'm yours
Your smile and laugh are my cures
Didn't realize you'd be this immature
Go ahead, you have the floor
Tell me what you're looking for
"I'll never leave", you swore
Well there you went out the door

From "I wish I had met you sooner" to "I wish I had never seen you at all"

I miss holding you
And you holding me back

You're the one that walked away
From someone who still loves you
Unconditionally and would do
Anything to see you smile
Someone that cares so much more
For you than they do for themselves
Who wants you happy
Who wants to know how your days been
You're the one that made the mistake
So I guess you were right
**You didn't and don't deserve me

I didn't just lose a lover, I lost my best friend
I know this because when anything happens
Good or bad
I find myself wanting to tell you

And I can't anymore
It's a hard feeling to fight off

Leave before they love you
Or
Stay until they don't anymore

Look me in the face
Tell me you don't love me
That you don't care anymore
That I mean nothing to you
That you want your stuff back
That you don't want my stuff anymore
Don't give me those little glances in class, or in the hallway, or in the cafeteria
Look into my eyes
And tell me

I was with you through your worst and best
You saw a little of the bad and ran away

The person I want to talk to the most barely even looks me in the eye anymore

I miss kissing you whenever I wanted

I don't know how much more I can take

Love is never enough

I feel like I'm supposed to know how to handle myself but I don't

It's kind of a head **** honestly
How I can love and love and love
And not stop
No way, no how
No matter how bad you've hurt me
It's funny, actually
How "just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin" (Frank Sinatra)
And I feel better
Inevitably, I just do

But you also tear me down
I want to die, but I want to live
*I'm trying

We catch each other's glances occasionally
And I guess that's all I need
To know that deep down
Someway, somehow
You still care
We laugh at the same things in class
And I guess that's all I need
To know that deep down
Someway, somehow
You haven't changed