I seek a meaning long

When her glances are short.

Two in the night isn't the right time
to be watched over by two eyes in silence
occasionally broken by a hushed voice
pack up sir, madam must be waiting sleepless.

Three in the night and he was right beside me
while the weary moon slanted to west
and dead insects lay on the floor
burned out by the joy of light.

Four in the night he was escorting me home
half a mile up the hill
when the stars were shedding light
fading with the dying night.

He died sometime after I left the island.

On sleepless nights he's there to see me off.
He could never be dead in my head.

LEAVE HATRED OUTSIDE MY DOOR
WHEN YOU COME IN*

this Notice boarded on my door
seems to have done little to impress.

the ones that come in
still read from the hate book.

speak ill of others behind their back
curse those they don't agree with
spew vitriol against all not their own
criticize food habits and dresses
castigate the new generation
find fault with the old
generalize on the basis of race religion
trifle faith belief sentiment
envy for what they don't have
intensely dislike assumed disabilities
even a squint a stammer a mole a limp

more passionate in degrading than appreciating
systems, processes, relations, actions, attitudes.

people won't mend, behind them i think,

they're so ****** disgusting.

He just dreams craves to be nothing
soars he never on ambition’s wing
a win for him is not even worth
he’s happy to be a loser from birth!

He talked so little they thought him shy
the teachers caught him looking at sky
never won a reward or a good grade
but you know of loss he isn’t afraid!

A good job wasn't meant to be his
a girl to love him lend him a kiss
the one he took fancy soon took flight
found another guy winner and bright!

He doesn’t regret not having a fat purse
his lack of aim and mediocrity’s curse
he would rather give away the game
retrieve from dust a windblown poem!

They call him a loser a defeatist a flop
a toddler lifelong while others gallop
he is contented with his chosen pace
happy to look around not run the race!

When the morn I embrace
Don’t I hear
Some more birds less?

Isn’t more hushed their din
A fear I feel within
They’re fast losing address.

Suppose one day they fully stall
I can’t hear a single wake up call
Only stirs my eyelids the light
To announce end of night.

Each day of progress
Of one invading race
Is some birds less

And more lives losing address.

Why an emptiness within
with the summer wind
blowing away the dust

Why the mute tears
we weren't friends for years
but came together awhile

The earth doesn't pause to grieve
but in the heart of hearts
when a good friend leaves
the void for lifetime hurts.

Creaseless warm bed
Soft pillow under head
Sleep tightening noose
Just then hell broke loose.
Breaking through that spell
A remote warning bell
Prised open the eyes
In streaming rhymes’ disguise!
Day’s stress though immense
Mind strained in patience
To find from maze a clue
For images one or two!
In that poetic trance
Sleep lost all its chance
In an agonizing dingdong
Clock said night was long.
The bed became one of thorn
Sleep died poems were born
Some trapped some were gone
Like night lost at dawn.

Child be whatever you want to be
don't become a lost child like me.

find yourself a fresh new stream
a different sky to draw your dream

walk not the way I strode
set out on a new road

one that's still green
not stained with my sin

retrace not my history
be enslaved not in ancestry

bonded not of our war and greed
our stonewalls of caste and creed

walk not the way we trailed
we missed goals we failed

then lost our way in selfish needs
our hopes buried in overgrown weeds.

Child be whatever you want to be
don't become a lost child like me.

The city at its busiest mode,
when the rush zoomed past him,
what was this man doing on the road,
was he lost in daydream?
He was looking up a tall tree
oblivious of the surrounding
pacing sideways agitatedly
he seemed to be searching something!
What was it he looked for amid the foliage,
a bird he had heard in the din,
that he must find out to add to his knowledge,
or was he just awed by the green?
I moved on as I had so little time
to stand and stop with him
taking with me a moment sublime
leaving him to merrily daydream!

Love's language maybe lost in translation
Love's flavor is never.

2o’clock and still no sleep
Mind on fire agonies creep
I go out in night, stand on the street
My mates are surprised, I feed them biscuit.

Refreshed and healed, come back to bed
Mind’s fire doused, I find the lost thread.

on pond water
clear as glass

blooms lotus
three quarter!

From the countless footsteps
I could feel hers
when summer sun was slanting
the day was losing glares.

Oh her lotus feet
how they cooled the burning dust
soothed my spirit
now I tell the story must!

She would wait beneath a tree
to catch a passing song
that breathed her lullaby
stayed with her for long.

When wind hushed the passing note
the darkness chilled her bone
upon her eyes starlight wrote
you are so alone.

She turned the way she came
trod me her lotus feet
hadn’t seen her known her name
but felt her in heartbeat.

One evening she waited long
till the last crow found its nest
she was dying to hear his song
but silence rent her breast.

As she walked my laden stone
weighed in load of pain
I could feel her anguished moan
that fell on me like rain.

She hasn’t come back to this day
hadn’t seen her known her name
only know it’s truth they say
once lit never dies love’s flame!

The boy loves the girl at the door,
The girl loves too
His pizza!

Longing for just one look
Pining for a touch
For love no text book
About love can’t know much.

He opened his eyes
And saw the squalor around,
Glistened his eyelids,
He shed it without a sound.
For months he was afloat
In the dark warm bay,
Waiting to arrive here
To live love and play!
She smiled as he cried,
Happy to see him land,
Life squirted from her *****,
She could die just for his hand.
Yet as he opened his eyes
He saw only squalor around,
Her love couldn't hold him back,
His eyes closed without a sound!

If I could go back
32 summers
to the hallowed soil
love was to be grown,
I would write there
An epitaph
“love died here
unknown”

The blazing sun ***** dry all tenderness
The famished landscape bares its ugly face
When others in conventional comforts rest
Here love faces its hardest test.
Love in this barren land seems insignificant
A morsel matters more where food is scant
The moribund clouds dried up in the firmament
Love is redundant here and suffers banishment…

I turn away from this land
Little knowing love fails no test
It spares not even the aridest sand
When the baby digs into mother's breast!

Faith my friend* he sighs
and pours me more wine
blind faith I should say
that blurs the dividing line.

Even god doesn't reciprocate
he so often tramples your faith
still your mind belief doesn't vacate
believing is a cursed human trait!

Have faith friend at a great cost
of ******* and never being free
yet you hold onto it till all is lost
he swigs to make his glass empty!

I believed and see where I am
torn and shattered to pieces
no wonder if I'm ******
for in faith I bowed to her wishes!

Love is a faith too only more blind
he looks at me with bloodshot eyes
*makes you devoted with all your mind

till one fine morn she takes you by surprise!

I carry you in my heart
But you are far away
Sometimes though love lasts
It’s so you don’t stay.
Never erased for you my thirsts
Though you are far away
Why it’s so that love lasts
Though you don’t stay.
I wish it happens one day
I wake up and you aren’t in my head
But your thought doesn’t go away
For that’s how love is made.

Her offer of herbs
would soon wilt in the sun.

A few soiled notes
if she may gather at the end
can make her come back
every morn
with the garden fetch.

Sixteen rupees,
she raises her doe eyes,
our palms blush in the exchange.

She smiles, you are a rupee short.

Love is never short of script.

she came
when seeds were not yet sown
the sky had not ****** the river
clouds were far away from rain.

she came
when heart was mere flesh
eyes had not known rainbow
and mind was just a wayward place.

she came
when door was only wooden frame
autumn was blooming shy veiled
romance was yet to wear a name.

she returned
there was darkness gathering

love is she forever searching.

It doesn't anymore take
a red petaled rose
I need just a headache
to draw my love close!

Love is such a strange affair
when pain throbs in my head
takes me her hands under care
she flies me quietly to her bed!

Her fingers do passionate caress
play in my hair hide-n-seek
many watts powerful than embrace
unheard words of love do they speak!

My ache her fingers understand
love potion they spread in my hair
when kisses her hand each strand
I wonder if ever a pain was there!

I don't need anymore a red rose
now something else does it take
it entices her to come really close
when I suffer a bout of headache!

As the bus turned at the bend
he saw the lane diverging from the road,
empty, silent, inviting.

He felt a pang
for at the end of that long winding path
was a house
in it a woman
waiting her fate
of the day’s loneliness
in simmering dream
of the night’s union!

He sighed at the fleeting thought

went his way

*of enduring another day!

Dear…..

When you wake up
I would be long gone
Far from you
You won't find me again.
Because where I go
You can't reach.
I make you free
To be you and be happy
To forget the past's pain
And build once again.
Think of me as a story
Bury me like a memory
Try to forget I was there
We spent some time together.
Remove whatever I leave behind
That may cause you to remind
Of the times we held hands and stood
We thought they would last for good.
My feet are heavy as I open the door
I feel tempted to reason once more
My heart wrenches my eyes blur
I've to go I've to be far…..

Yours never
…..

I don’t wanna fight
I don’t wana race
Just want a little light
And in your heart a Nano space!
I don’t wanna grab
I don’t wanna pounce
Just wanna have you
Love me half ounce!

No park is ever named Lover’s Park
But in every city there’s one,
Where shadows coalesce to shadows dark
Fingers delve buttons undone.*

There ain’t no lover not grazed its grass
Bunked classes to warm its bench
Whispered sweet nothings in adolescent crush
Suffered failed love’s heart wrench!

They only know how precious the gain
To walk the patch of green turf
Holding the hands leaving the pain
Finding for love a safe wharf!

Bloom there the petals of budding romance
Ripened and raw and all class
Souls spellbound eyes in trance
Leave tears and joys on the grass!

I too had walked on the lover’s park
Drowned in a teen’s happiness
Found within love’s first spark
Carry to this day her face!

Without ruing all the lost chance
should I tell her once
or now it's really too late
to say what's unsaid from the first date.

Stopping long at the tongue's tip
they're gone into me hiding deep
breathing in heart as one quiet peace
speaking their voice in the bud of a kiss.

But hasn't died their wish to be told
love's alphabets carved in gold
uttered in silence at the sight of her
till today unsaid till now deferred.

Do they need to be told anymore
what's embedded within fondly secured
or is it so from her first date
she's dying to hear those alphabets!

Not hear my words but read my eyes
For words can fail eyes can’t disguise
That in my heart in silence speaks
Love’s fantasies and magic tricks!

Not hear my words but read my eyes
For words are stale holds no surprise
Can’t show the streams of love that flow
Sparkly diamonds in secret glow!

Not hear my words but read my eyes
Words are vain and crudely wise
Can’t paint the sun that shines for you
Rolls down as tears with the morning dew!

Not hear my words but read my eyes
Words can’t ever make it truly nice
Just waste the years leaving it overdue
To let you know how much I love you!

Dusted off a yellow scrap
From the depth of time,
A line scribbled,
Each letter dipped in raw blood,
That's when I was mad.
Infatuation, they call it,
Feelings that pass of
When maturity beheads emotions,
Foolishness of youth
Flies away on wings of calculations!
After caressing the parchment,
I put it back to its own time,
Because it doesn't belong to now,
The first flutter of heart,
A flimsy fragile impractical thing,
A wound I still carry,
Falling and failing in first love!

In the process of ridding my mustache of white
To pluck as many and bring black to sight
I had dug too many holes on that stretch
To present the mirror with a perfect wretch!
My missus smiled under her frown
Said, ‘you look the funniest man in town,
You could have dyed the hairs brown
And not made yourself an awful clown!
Fretting more by her pinching poke
Told her ‘it’s no time for a joke,
Help me clean up the mess a bit,
So I don’t become a laughing stock on the street’!
She quickly came up with a plan
A clever woman, she did it with élan
She dabbed her eyeliner on the mess
To restore me a presentable face!
But the story here didn’t come to a close
It yielded love’s another sweet disguise
Whole day I smelled her eyes in my nose
A strand of my mustache she bore in her eyes!

Welcome to love station.
Please dock your heart here
Slowly, softly, carefully!
Hope your journey thus far
Through the moon-bathed tunnel
Aglow with the choicest stars
Was pleasant and dreamful!
It would be sometime
Before you come out of the hangover
All earthlings have when they arrive
And be blissful in your time here
Holding onto your heart knowing in peace
That it would never stop beating
And instead be caged in another diaphragm
To live, love and go into transit again!
It's such a tragedy across millennia
That heart after heart was lost in death
Till mankind could find way to change it
Discover the key to immortality
Of transiting heart from one to other
And not let it be buried with the corpse!

You're now entering the heart lab.
Your replica is too eagerly waiting here.
See how it's already dancing in joy
Celebrating your immortality
And also its own!

Welcome to love station.
We assure you when you wake up
You'll know what it means
To be undead in love forever
And the key that was love!

aren't real.

Love is only an ideal
a belief we live
and never achieve.

But love stories we need.

Only its conjured spirit
makes some sense

of our existence!

Uncertainty is the name of the game
Putting things in jeopardy God in shame
A particle’s position is immeasurable so its momentum
An imprecise arbitrariness for the Seeker a conundrum!

Drunk in the wine of Creation God had no inkling
Uncertainty would be inherent in his nature of things
Little slips He would make would be a stumbling block one day
One would affect the other's behavior without a remedial way!

It appears such a twisted thing making so little sense
The objects you measure with will themselves influence
The particle to be measured its velocity and speed
Discarding precise determination not yielding a perfect read!

Lovers take heart from this though her heart you may win
There’s no way with precision her love you can determine
She remains as yet unknown in her love’s position and quantum
You the Seeker can do little than to live with the conundrum!

(1)

They depend on one another
The daughter
Walking her blind father.

(2)

Skin full of prickly heat
He pulls the cycle van
Loaded with pedestal fan.

(3)

He stops before the first bite
Can’t forget
His pariah mate.

(4)

He wants dark clouds’ gloom
For when they break to rain
His hopes will bloom.

(5)

She has no time for the mirror
Works for hours
As the water carrier.

(6)

She hides her pain
Spending herself up
Seems such precious gain.

(7)

Knowledge’s weight on the back
The kid goes to school
Like a yielding mule.

(8)

On her bed the newly wed
May not find the one
For her made.

(9)

The male calf suckles his mother
He doesn’t want to grow up
And be slaughtered.

(10)

The mother fights the trappers’ might
Not knowing their net
Has sealed her chick’s fate.

I was surprised it felt heavier
Uneasiness too pinched me
Haven’t carried a weightier ever
What could fill a family!

Did I see a red heart there
Did I see a silver line
Did I carry the weight of care
Sealed with the hands of valentine!

It was heavier but I felt so light
And free as my dreams set free
Scaled the hillocks reached mountain height
When remembered what she heard from me!

There’s no time I must haste
A load of work at office knocks
Would come home late it would be best
If you forget for today the lunchbox!

Now I’m smiling as I eat the meal
More than daily quota manifold
The lunchbox lends me the much needed fill
Sealed with a heart of gold!

In the damp dark night
the dead lusts for light,
he could but never did strive
at the time that found him alive,
for doing a little good work,
some good to leave his mark
leave a little happiness behind
but these never came to his mind.
He always thought it best
not to bother about the rest....
rest he has now found
some depth beneath the ground
lusting for a little light
but time is merciless, so is the night.

Come brother let’s sit under memory’s canopy
Walk down olden times chatter childishly
Forgetting the ravaged mind the years’ tempest
Retrieve the tender moments in heart's youthful jest!

Come brother let’s hold hands like the days of yore
Walk down to find that house knock on its door
It must still be standing in the sun whitewashed clean
Waiting for us to go back dig out treasures within!

Come brother let’s go back to that half-lit classroom
Where the walls bear our scribbles the blackboard our gloom
The air still must breathe there our voice and hidden sigh
Unmended is the windowpane through which we stole the sky!

Come brother let’s go back to our childhood’s playground
Where small feet kicked dust at day end turned homebound
It craves our splashing touch contemplates the placid stream
The two that no more come remembered only in dream!

Come brother let’s once more take that precious ride
Tug each other’s heartstrings bring out the child inside
Forgetting the weathered skin the worry beaten face
Go hunting for the lost treasure of unshackled happiness!

She comes back but not like this
In dreamscape most part I miss
Without contour ethereal

But last night she was so real!

I miss you ma where have you been
With you son always within
Showed up too in all these years
In your smiles in all your tears!

We walked together hands clung tight
Cheek on cheek in rain washed light
It was only joy that beamed her face
Being with son in reunion’s happiness!

She smiles to me *I wasn’t ever gone
A mother leaves not stays back in her son
I live through you one blood one part
As all the love you feel at heart!

Madame Blaine isn't happy.

Every night his apparitions appear
and they're getting darer by the day
(sorry, by the night).

Her fault she didn't tell him to go
the first few days on the southern window
rather she felt bad as he stood out there
thought it better to offer him chair.

His hesitation stoked her kindness
not much she would lose if sat face to face
recapitulating life they were together
barring the first few spent talking the weather.

Once in the room he gave her his ears
(or so it seemed)
as she talked of loneliness with hint of tears
blinking and nodding an occasional sigh
but not once offering a courtesy of reply.

He would sit unobtrusive in the gentlest manner
till his proposal last night dropped the sky on her
(sorry, the ceiling)
the first words he spoke shattered her peace

May I Diane, offer you a kiss?

She fumbled to decide an aye or a nay
silence was all her voice could say
the apparition rose to grab the moment
reading in her muteness a loud consent.

Since then she is wondering if she can boast
of having been kissed by one now a ghost
or hide within her as an indelible shame
an indulgence that could earn her bad name.

Have you ever been madly in love?

The old man broke my reverie.

On the long faded green bench white with bird droppings
he was peering at me through his silver grey beard
looking oddly out of place in that college squire park
where only the dreamers at the prime of youth
would sit between classes to exchange love notes
and steal a kiss when the passion couldn't be reined in.

Have you ever been madly in love? he repeated,
and then as if growing impatient by my silence
mumbled, pausing between words,
like they stung him like thorns
it extracts a price been paying all my life
living with a void no other woman could fill
a commitment that breeds only pain
yet makes me insanely boastful
of being madly in love.

It was recess hour and the benches were being filled up.

How many, I wondered, would still hold hands
when the classes are over.

When at my lowest
I hum a tune
It sends my spirit to crest
I’m once again immune.
Music
Does the trick
Like magic!
It never pales
Never fails.

the boy was seeking a cute rosy girl
chubby chirpy with a head full of curl
her skin glowing silk cherry red her lip
and yes she should love him real deep.

the girl was seeking a boy with a soul
one with a mind aligned to her pole
he needn’t be handsome but nice within
a boy that wouldn’t love her just for her skin.

you know god’s way of meeting men’s prayer
opposites though they were brought together
the boy loved the girl who was shy and lean
and the girl the boy who wouldn’t look within.

you can easily guess what happened later on
they felt for each other a natural attraction
she gave him her all he loved her from heart
the two poles stayed close to be never apart!

magpie robin on her black and white wings
all day seems to frolic twitters sweetest nothings
is she singing her songs to lay a lover's trap
or love she isn't searching but her hunger's scrap!

she's the cutest damsel hopping the ledges for insect
with no rainbow on her plumes yet dazzlingly perfect
is she whistling to catch a heart find for her one good mate
or it's only her hunger's call still can wait her first date!

in the sleepy noons rends the air her plaintive cries
drunk in the desire that comes renewed each sunrise
is she pursuing tireless for her love nest a golden straw
or her pursuit is not of passion but fending hunger's gnaw!

when the evening comes she finds herself a perch
tranced in night's lullaby under the starry arch
is she still in her sleep singing for love to born
or she's is just dreaming her hunger's golden corn!

the magpie stole my pen

then flapped its wings
to hide it fast
so i couldn't see it again.

i ran up the staircase

so i could see
how far could flee
in blue's cool embrace.

the day had a golden hue

up the roof
wind blew aloof
the sky said i need you.

birds were dazzled white

made pleasured cry
soared to high
stole my all eyelight.

cheerily swayed the tree

cute green leaf
in disbelief
saw me carefree.

the magpie called me then

now i bet
you don't regret
my stealing away your pain.

As I see on the TV the little children dance
I realize in my heart the world has no chance
victims they are of the adult mind's greed
whipped to grow up forced out of seed!

As I see on the TV the little children dance
robbed of innocence in make-believe trance
I realize in my heart once childhood is obsolete
the world will go down its doom will be complete!

As I see on the TV the children in ****** jig
their parents dreaming they'll make it big
I realize in my heart in this game is no win
the child will soon stand on dead dream's ruin!

As I see on the TV little children's face
skewed and twisted in rouged distress
I realize in my heart too high is the cost
when growing up is catalyzed childhood is lost!

In the worst of days
I make for me
A make-believe mood!*

When within a storm rages
The heart is laden with charcoal tar
One by one I fill up the pages
That twinkle in make-believe’s borrowed star!

What magic can do a changed hair style
When I walk the darkest mile
It shows in the mirror a new look me
Contented to be make-believe happy!

A make-believe man not let the world know
All the pains inside morale low
Even once show not entrails crude
But spread in air make-believe mood!

In make-believe cheers when I hum a tune
It blunts the agony makes me feel immune
Miraculously comes back a feel real good
Saves the worst of days the make-believe mood!

In my office was a guy
This’s how he made his mark
He would raise a hue and cry
When he did the smallest work!

Though there were quite a few
That performed more than him
Only this man knew
How to raise the steam!

Not a chance was missed
To harp on smallest feat
To come to fore noticed
And reap the reward sweet!

There’re guys that brag and bark
Their own drums loudly beat
And men that make their mark
In noiseless quiet retreat!