I wondered why I didn't find the sunshine,
in the sky, but in your hips
And why I couldn't ******* feelings,
anywhere but your lips,

I asked myself why I held you,
as if you'd float away,
why I always glanced behind me
unsure if you would stay.

I danced your shadowed shoreline,
like a kite without a string,
a ship without an anchor
a crown without a king

You told me not to worry,
you told me I'd be fine
you told me you'd protect me,
but we ran out of time.

I told you I would leave you,
I told you I'd get scared,
for I myself am broken
And I fear I cannot be repaired.

And you were such a wonder
the way you bent without a cause
and buried me beside you
reactions without pause,

We walked on ice together,
to often we fell in,
you'd pull me down beneath you,
our love was wearing thin

And now beside the rubble,
I should of known it from the start,
we never the grand production
just a piece of broken art

A boy of failed promises,
a girl of untuned strings
In trying to build a home on solid ground,
we forgot about our wings.

I built a home inside of you,
I pulled your arms around me
as though they were the only walls I had,
and I carved my initials onto your lips
like the ones still on the front concrete of the house I was born in.
It didn't matter what was outside of us,
where we were together
the lights were on, the bed unmade, and the fire was nowhere near dying.
I built a home in you so long ago,
and I've moved so many times
it felt good to have a permanent residence.
But I should have known better,
than to have built my life inside of someone,
Because when you were sad,
the roof would leak,
and when you were angry
my walls would shake,
and when I left you,
my home crumbled
and I felt naked and cold
so I slept on our abandoned foundation
trying to pretend
that you were still there beside me.
*You were the hardest goodbye I have ever said

I don't remember exactly what your lips tasted like anymore,
or how your hands felt on my skin
or how you sounded when you told me how much you loved me
I'm starting to forget your smell,
your scars
your words
you are starting to fade,
and I don't know if I'm happy about this
or scared
because part of me wants to hold on to whatever I can of you,
because forgetting you
is like losing you all over again,
but maybe I don't want to remember

I woke up today with the same emptiness I have woken up with
most mornings
for the past eight months.
Just like I went to bed last night,
wearing my loneliness over me like a blanket
like I do
almost every night,
since I said goodbye to you.
And I wonder why,
I can't forget about all the people
who have treated me so poorly.
Why small scratches at my visage
left massive scars
that bled for weeks.
And I wonder what I am doing wrong
to be someone
so undeserving of love,
when all I have been trying to do
is put broken people back together,
but maybe
that is my first mistake.