I am the sun, but I am also the moon,
I am the ruler of this broken kingdom
where there are ever lurking shadows
taunting “you will always be this way”

Two halves in a marriage of contradiction,
yet there is not one without the other,
and wouldn’t a true unity be sweeter
than two sides at constant war

Twisting tides in the pit of my stomach,
ebbing and flowing until time stands still
and I become immensely aware of this conflict
waiting to spill out as i’m torn apart

You’ll do no better than to hibernate
from the cold winds of the harshest winters,
and perhaps I could build the strongest fortress
but what good would that do in the end

At the end of the day they are both who I am,
and all I can do is let the two live in harmony.
So I shall balance both weights on my shoulders
and learn to cherish them for what they are

do you hear that?
the haunting cries for hope,
for understanding, for change,
formed by the mouths of women
from times past and present,
pleas for a different future,
one not built on power and hate,  
one where they’re not told what to do
or told they’re not good enough

do you hear the years of sadness and rage,
for themselves and their peers,
years spent crumbling under the pressure.
do you hear the pleas of the little girl
a girl, set a path she did not want to follow,
but forced to do it anyway

do you hear how tired they are
of being used and ignored,
just wanting to speak and be heard,
a space for growing and healing.
choosing to live, to make a difference
to bring light to the darkness
to provide a way forward for others too

There’s a comfort in the darkness,
an escape,
guided by the gentle glow of stars,
the night sky, a blanket

Are they ever scared?
Or is it just relief,
anything to not face the light
afraid of what it would hold

For it should not be the darkness we’re afraid
but the brightness of morn
where the monsters are freely roaming
whilst licking their lips

And whilst it is cold
it is welcome
compared to the harsh heat
of what may find us come morning

I put an orange on the table,
slowly peeled away the skin,
invited you to take a segment
then another, and another.
Before I know it, it’s dark outside
and the orange is gone
but you’re not,
you’re still here.
The peel sat between us
dimpled and bright

I have until I had nothing left
Cried until I was drowning
Exhausted, one with the floor

All you do is take,
rip me apart
until i’m too numb to care

Always one step ahead
planning the next attack
so i’m blindsided by your actions

After every fire set in my head
and storm released in my head
I am broken

Even now when i’m just a shadow
you take and take
everything that should be mine

Things come to an end,
turning the last page of the book,
the sun sets beyond the horizon,
or when you close your eyes at night

Leaves behind empty spaces
Cold silences
A lonely darkness
This uncomfortable feeling

It’s something you have to own
because you will say goodbye
time and time again
but it doesn’t hurt less

Back and forth
like we’re playing tennis
I hit the hall
and you slam it back

We exist on different roads
that never join in the middle
Instead get further and further away
until we’re opposite sides of this world

I could scream my thoughts
and they would fall to the ground
Whilst yours float to the sky,
gone above the clouds

Sometimes my thoughts
get jumbled,
random words stuck together
No coherent sentences

And I have to take
each word
and stick it together
with the next
And I write it down
before
it
slips
my
mind
again

Those thoughts
in ink
become one with the page

Pinks and oranges
seep into the blue
Clouds ripple through
Sun dips beyond horizon
Super Moon takes centre stage
ready for the big performance
As darkness rises
it makes you remember that
there’s nothing more beautiful
than the sky

To be alone at night
sat on my windowsill
I never feel truly alone
Not when I can draw
faces in the stars
and when I look up
the Moon smiles back
What a comfort
to be surrounded by this

I’m sat at a crossroad,
can’t remember my way home
Someone’s stolen all the signs,
I think they stole the Sun too
It’s dark and i’m cold
Moon shivers behind thick clouds
My feet too tired to follow a path
So here I sit in the middle,
maybe until someone returns the sun
and I can see clearly again

Everyone has their favourite times,
sat on that hill watching the sunrise
or at home watching tv whilst it’s pitch black outside

When this moment you’re in feels safe
Tastes like candyfloss
and smells like comfort and lavender

You wish by stopping the clock
time itself would pause
You wish you could collect all
those wasted moments
and use them in that moment so it never stop

But instead those moments
were eaten up greedily
and given to those moments
you’d rather not remember

There’s a tree by the river
I see it from my house
So far in the distance

It looks so small
Stands tall, alone
The greenest of leaves

Just wants to exist
Be a part of nature
Remain in the distance

Small talk is difficult
Everyone else knows what to say
But my brain just glitches
and all the words fall to the floor
By the time i’ve picked them all up
it’s too late and they’re bored

You must have those days
where things don’t make sense
When you turn on the news
to the next crazy story
Feel like you’re underwater
Like all of it is just a dream
And for that you must agree that
sometimes life is stranger than fiction

If you held a mirror to the sky,
captured all the stars
The way they dance in the darkness
Reflect the immensity of the Moon
and the way it shines so bright
A celestial beauty to be adored,
nothing more stunning to be captured

I can never remember my dreams,
they’re just a blur of vagueness
But I always remember the nightmares,
the ones that have my heart racing
and wake me up at 2am
Scenes play out on repeat in my head
and follow me around like a cloud of darkness
When nighttime returns I have to hope
that it doesn’t follow me back into sleep
Because I cannot take
waking up with that same dread

It’s in my favourite outfit
Eyeshadow in vibrant colours
Cute earrings, fun hairstyles
Shoes I could stomp in you with
That’s where I find my power

As I sit here
Pyjamas and no makeup
I feel the complete opposite
You could chip away
till I’m all gone

Do you ever stop and think
to admire the beauty of nature
Plants mimic the brightest colours,
their leaves perfectly positioned
They mirror shapes and movements,
dance under dappled sunlight

Let’s just go
Planes, trains, and automobiles
Leave with no set plan

Those places in your dreams
and ones you’ve never even thought of
We can see them all

Visit the warmest beaches
Oceans as blue as your eyes,
then we’ll draw hearts in the sand

Make memories that we’ll recall for years,
heads filled with stories
Pictures of sunsets

Put your trust in the journey
Take a chance
Leave behind old motions

Take the wishbone
Break in two
Clinging on
as if it’s the last hope
Pinning dreams on the snap
Eyes shut tight
Secret wish
to make sure it comes true
Because it will come true
It has to come true
Everything was in
that wishbone

Closed eyes
Holding hands
Take a step
into darkness
This is
the next step
From there
we float
into forever

Limbs tangled
Relaxed
Gentle warmth
Distant TV noises
Golden light through window
Silences, never awkward
Perfect conversations
Shared jokes and laughter
This is the desired comfortable

Darkness faded
Rain halted
Flowers bloomed
Eureka!

I’m worried about her,
the girl next door
Yes I see her smile
but it’s not about that

I see the way she drags her feet
Walks in rain with no umbrella
Picks petals off flowers
Stands on cracks in pavements

Worried her smiles not genuine
Worried when the last time it was
Worried what’s she’s hiding
Worried about her

I’m alive but not living
A box of contradiction
spirals of contemplation
Lonely when not alone
Twists and turns
Head hurting confusion

I’ll never fit together
to form an ideal
Not something neat
you can fit on a page
I’m more broken pieces
put together with sticky tape
No perfect formation
My life is no tessellation
There are gaps
which is okay
More space
for imperfections
Pretty patterns
come in different forms
overlaps and all

If you laid me bare,
stripped me into basic parts
would you still look at me the same

Cut me open
Puzzle pieces spill onto the floor,
all bent and broken

Lightning in the pit of my stomach
Grey clouds behind my eyes
You wish I was made of sunshine

Lonely is not just alone
it’s a crowded room
filled with coldness

Loneliness echoes
through hollow chest,
flows through every vein

Subtle glances
Longing looks
Swirls of unspoken words

Subtle heat against skin
Grass brushes bare legs
Trees rustle in gentle breeze

Turn page after page
of that thrilling novel,
sipping cool liquid

Bees buzzing
weave through bright flowers,
fluffy clouds float above

These are what come to mind
when I recall those days of
Summers past

Sometimes they return,
a rare occasion
How do they know
it’s when I need it most

This ghost brings warmth
instead of cold
It’s so gentle,
calming

They continue to shrink
but I always know
when they’re there
but not why

A black hole:
darkness, crippling

Giant blue oceans,
wonder what lies deep

It’s a night sky,
few stars scattered

That monotonous ache
paired with a fascination

Uphold such emptiness
yet remain hopeful

One melts into another
Sunlight dimmed,
darkness dances on the edge

Two tie together,
a knot of time
in this middle

And whilst the cold creeps in
we’re not sure it’s exact
but it’s here

Oh so you are the god
The god of this world
This world that you built
Built on rubble and deception

And there you stand
Stand so very tall
Tall as a tree
A tree that has no right

But everything you built
You built with such disregard
Disregard for all others
Others that fed you

Now look at the stars,
each maps out the future
where we shall find ourselves

Your future awaits you,
every star will show
a journey to be followed,
remember to let them guide you

The ghost appears once a day,
it happens when i’m alone
same ghost,
yet every time they seem to shrink

I can’t explain it
but when they visit I feel free

Yesterday they were so small
I barely knew they were there

Today there’s no sign
yet I don’t feel so alone,
but I do wonder
did I do something wrong?

I saw her through my window
whilst watching the rain fall
She just stood there for a while
and let it all wash over her

The cold crept inside her bones
till she felt nothing but numb

The rain changed her
and I wish
I was not at the window,
but dancing in the rain

Light was drained as darkness grew
Revealing each shining star
Each used to map out the future

The moon gives a subtle glow
Providing comfort while we lay awake
For it’s such a pleasure to bask in its glory

You could stare at the sky everyday
and still you would not see everything it has to offer