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Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
the nights where I go to sleep listening to some SNMR of a fireplace, the sound of falling rain, the sound of waves caressing the shore, winds of a wintry blizzard... and the evenings tuning in to the radio... not being burdened with my jouvenille taste in personal choice of music... how soothing to not be the curator of my own downfall, claustrophobic... a release in the outstretched consolation of time, not being my own d.j., which only truly works in the realm of classical and jazz music... and nowhere else as via BBC radio 3.

Ah! The world is a fine, fine place...
with BBC radio 3 and 4 in
the background...
why did I think succumbing
to the corporatism of classic.fm
would amount to much:
of note people who only care
about classical music if governed
by visual aids of cinema...
yes, the world is a fine place:
reminiscent of my maternal great
grandfather hacking rhe airwaves
trying to play cards, eat peanuts
and sugar cubes like a cackling horse
brightening the dull grey of those
20th century days without
knowledge of what coffee beans were for
dumbing sackloads into the river
tuning into: hello Europe, London speaking...
just like now... uninterrupted
by adverts with dental practioners
and war mongering charities...
the world is o.k. with BBC radio 3
and 4... Westminster Hour on radio 4
come 10pm... then switching to radio 3
for some classical and jazz and
Icelandic cello duets and some New York
hum hummy itchy ooh ooh
of those generic haughty female vocals
with a metropolitan "unique" lisp...
in the future, which is also now...
there won't be a need for a t.v.
and a license of ownership...
a book a candle and a radio.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
maybe there is an ethnic-revisionism happening in the post-colonial realm of thought... maybe less of a genetic continuity and more a cognitive compensation: regardless of their race... and ethnic-revisionism is that western Europeans against central and Eastern Europeans... and the Greeks... and Egyptians and the Hebrews and Philistines.... bit you won't find guilt by association in Poland or Russia... not among the people of the steppes in Kazakhstan or Mongolia... funny how Mongolia was the first Communist Country; Mongolia Great Thirst Again!

The plan for the whites and Asians
To **** out old ideas
And the susceptible....
**** them out
With influx of vibrant migrants
The boomer generation
And the Silent Generation
No I don't blame boomers
I blame the Silent Generation
Influx of Africa at least ***+
Not some Arab on the Holy Mission
With the Hebrew to still ****
Cousins... but the Hebrew
***** cousins
To breed geniuses of the intellct
Arab... not so much...
I won't mind the minority status
In 10 years time...
That year 0 for Greenwich
Mean Time... but a historical meridian
is time all relevant on the equator?
If there is a 1st 3rd World Divide
The Equator is in London... given the tilt of the earth the people who are
Already living on the moon
Are the people of the equator
But the actual equator is in London
Given hemispheres where North
Is spring while south is winter... I imagine... Sahara now desert
A then mountain range
The dead Sea God's blood...
I see the blood of god
And it is not wine nor vampire
Incel Christ...
I see the blood of god as a drop
Or maybe 25ml of it
With some pepper...
Of the Dead Sea...
I already tried the *****
and warm **** not beer or champagne
Of the Devil...
Having ****** into the wine...
when I went to Bath
to see the Roman baths via
Stonehenge....
So if you can find
The blood of god And blood
Of the Devil...
Why seek wine of the Son
son of God
As much as the son of Man...
Where the devil is the grey
Area of the details of writing
Abstracting painting
Nymphs of Numbers...
The blood of the devil
Is in Bath... warm sulphur ****...
And I'm sure the blood of God
Is the Dead Sea...
Hey presto... two pilgrimages
To countrt the mystique
Of the Hajj...
Christian Paganism and not:
Pagan-Christanity....
See how an -ism
Softens the load of hyphen
Compounding counter
Arguments
But also with an -ism...
The rigid chem- -istry
Artistry?
Since no longer the chameleon
Of alchemy...
Biology and all the lists of
-ologies...
Phi Isaac as Rex Prix....
Medicine and now
I will not smoke an entire
Joint of drink more than
Soothing of liver than boxing it
Sent a brain message to liver
With a 36h pause
Shivers because it started
To nudge nudge the ribcage...
So I sweated out into sober
But then decided to sip sip
And get maybe 5h sleep...
Listen to **** van ****
And Bukowski and how much
Of the worst alcoholism is
Associated with metabolism
Ans how some alcoholics are
Functioning and some art
A nd I can drink but I also
Need elitist "sports" and interests...
Like rugby is an interest...
I'd go sober for the game...
But if I had friends coming along...
I'd go there drinking
And we could appreciate the game
In the backgrounds...
But classical music and going
To an artezhiviyib...exhibition
Is like **** and a rock concert...
Or **** and a Taylor swift concert...
A Frqncis Bacon exhibition:
It's still on NPG... Trafalgar Sq...
Is like ****...
And a Taylor swift concert...
Put together... mashed up macaroons,
Mascots and McGuinnesesGuivers.

That's all it was...
how strange that the Mongolians
Adopted Communism first
And how the Chinese
are this morphed Communism
That managed to dupe
Capitalism....
In geo-politics
Capitalism is the Host
And Communism the Parasite
Localised with the equivalent
Of Sparta in North Korea...
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
As someone who has been working
now seemingly countless live
events...
to get away from all the... unnecessary
furore of a pop concert...
to escape into the confines of an
art gallery... almost 150 pieces...
                           I felt: healthily elitist.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
arrt ehiubution
exciubiutiib
walk fro mmm
mt
tottenham#
Milllwall
cazkharing cvroos!
/
  azl#
          az
azl
axL
Oct 2024 · 78
7,000 miles away
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
canvas:

pure and simple...

                  like an Ikea Nike advert...

i can't believe that Eminem
became relevant again...

since July Lucifer...
o.k.

i distract: i'm thinking about Hades
and the Beyond-Hell realm
of Tartarus

i'm alligning myself
top foxes
squiurrels
rats
open air asylum....
Oct 2024 · 87
elevator mansion
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
a Francis Bacon exhibition is currently happening at the National Portrait Gallery... i'm planning to go tomorrow... tickets on sale around £25... i'll also buy the ******* gallery bound to a book... just discovered the resurrection ofg Eminem... Lucifer... imagine all the advertisement propaganda of the saviour in black man... but then comes Puff Daddy worse than ****** in Hell: ****** in Heaven i ***** the birth of the rebirth of Israel and the Jews with a nation and a diaspora like all the rest of us except for the U.S.A. and maybe Russia but i don't think me me me... language block... my black savior is a ******* pervert my **** my pi two square e... rap my little *** along and forget Newton's great ****...

bluff bluff: an **** plug and the baby
and her waters of the tub...
maybe i'm reading Frank Herbert's Dune...
maybe the serpents and gardens
have been replaced by
worms and deserts and mountains...
and then i see a **** in every fish
i see in the sea...
like black glue of vomitting
hallucinating of the peer of the void
of the pupil no sclera
and no iris of fish...
maybe there's magic in the eye
of both dog and cat
but i see the same sane black fish
in squirrel and rat
and wait... of the fox? i swear:
gangland **** i'm working
an open air asylum...

             breed the idea...
mommy daddy
oh my son
oh O
O oh daughter...
oculus per oculus...
eye for an eye
my utmost desperate utmost last and first
the aesthetic as primo
and ethics as levi
Matthew: my passion...
away bouncing thinner from
Ethopia...
if Christ is to return my namescape...
Rupnzil...
no...

  7 deadly sins and come the 7 phobias:
two chimeras mated you
selling me:
two ******* giraffes?
you want this Colisseum to run
on **** and *****?
i need blood... i need blood!

fear of spiders
fear of open spaces
fear of the night...
Islamophobia does not collide
with this beast of the new 7 heads
i have rational to fear Islam
ask the Polacks and ask the Romanians
and the revision of Europe via
the Ottomans:
even the Arabs rebelled
and Lawrence and Sire: Sinaz...
the river parition of the Red Sea:
the Runes and that fluctuation of the seas
into alter
the old the serpent isn't here:
no garden...
just the barren land of desert
and the mountain ranges
and the arm
my seeing unseeing eye
of the worm...
as god evolved: so did the devil...
you think concepts and absstracts
don't evolve: that intellect is man's own
possession?
debris...
              my history my own light...
better father better mother mother
better Reyla can i ask for....
i have a clue into a rational fear of Islam
like i have a double edged sword
the old Pagan armed with Judaism
i also have a fear of Christianity:
you late learners my **** my lord
i better tell them...
i'm playing a game of...

like the effect... forget the name...
they call me Matthew:
Matteo... Matti... Matt...
but my true name has already
been given and brided with ink
on paper...
i am Conrad... like i add an M
in volutpous... like i add an extra D
to conDrad...

**** Germany + the High Fashion +
KISCH...
Oct 2024 · 111
Northern Lights over London
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
unknown to me, only prior to turning on classic.fm on the radio come the 6pm news bulletin at the start of my night shift... that demonic red glare in the sky... remnants of the northern lights descending as far south as London... no wonder my head, even a day later... reels with magnetic dissonance I can't exactly justify with any sensible rationale... like a moon madness and the fullness of it and werewolves... is there anything in our bodies that might allow us be inclined to feel magnetism: in the same vein as when old people talk about atmospheric pressure and how that dampens their mood and instigates a lethargy that's also an excusable bout of welcome melancholy: welcome in the sense of (it) being unavoidable?

i was, expecting to sleep until about now: circa 2pm...
that shift didn't help me much:
demoted for a reason: that i hushes in silenced
an ego-whisper: don't get so ****-hurt about it:
there's surely a reason...
upon returning home: a crimson cloud
in the dark sky... pumpkin spiced latte with the
ginger, Joan... Joe... ginger is a ginger is
a ****** is a ginger...
i really don't understand or want to:
these flirtations of trying to match me up
to a tailor for a Mr Bonzo... Baker St. is my favorite
underground station... so she puts her hand
between mine while mine is in my pocket...
and i guess that's how unavailable women
pet men to submit to some wishy-washy variation
of what could be a wholesome adventure in
Islam...
            but never mind... oh but i do mind...
it's like a cross between Garry Glitter's rock & roll
and Talking Heads' ****** killer...
but that sputnik of a crimson hue so huge although
it wasn't a cloud: gave me bad nightmares
the kind where you don't dream anything
but instead succumb to that summary of waking
up early in order to listen to some wham!
jeez...
last night i disclosed i was Millwall fan...
the supposed epicentre of trouble at cordon 3: DC...
where all the ******* were supposed to reign
grumpty humpty dumpty:
turns out all the children congregated and was
asked: what team do you support:
i bet it's West Ham i bet it's Tottenham...
gorgeous George the homeless was there...
and then i mimed Mill         Wall...
the kid heard me: but i had to make it painfully
obvious with the sound matched to the movement
of my lips... Mill... Wall...
a bit... in spite of my father who was... is...
a forver an ardent hammers fans...
i think it's the Scottish Connection...
Millwall is associated: by colours of their jerseys:
St. Andrews' piquat: navy: somewhat teasing
at Florentina's purple... but nonetheless
Scotch navy: which is teasing purple...
plum... plump blue...
well if Prince William can support Aston Villa
and from what i heard:
the reason West Ham have their claret and blue
is because it's a plagiarism of the Aston Villa kit...
can't have plagiarism in my vein...
so... well can't really support Arsenal or Tottenham
although: that cockerel is mighty teasing
but i'm not ***...
so the Scottish Connection: the team associated
with the dockers on the southbank...
i'm finding the London on the south of the Thames
a riddle... a welcome riddle...
surrounding the area around Elephant & Castle
a mighty affair of architecture that's most appealing
come 6am... and 7pm...
i love that part of London:
that open air asylum vibe...
i'm the most insane sane person around those parts
when my night shifts start... and finish:
but they never finish...
to support a football team simply because of
the locality... i think that's 1960s worth of
****** liberation atop the singling out word of:
groovy...    yeah baby... yeah...
watching footage from 1960s swinging London
is a bit surreal like watching
videos of the liberation of the concentration
camps of central and eastern Europe...
watching these hispters of London and then watching
the Auschwitz walking skeleton chimes...
strangely... in synch...
              because we don't have a cataclasm to
pacify ourselves with a panacea...
             the butterfly and tornado narrative...
clearly our insomnia fried brains are not even equipped
to clarify a tragedy with the antithesis of
Egyptian prowess hedonism...
maybe that's the parody of the 20th century
that i'm only sobering up to realise: while drinking...
some rabbi was sussing me out while
giving directions to an unknown tongue of a couple
trying to get to Buckingham Palace:
or rather: st. James' park:
          rabbi rabbi... what's my story?
demoted: but whoever said that the person in authority
has a voice... i wasn't wearing the high viz bib
associated with my "status"
yet people still gravitated toward me regardless
of whether i was wearing zebra stripes
dalmation polka dots or a lion's mame...
                    that just show you authority...
when there is a stature unconcerning about what
visual games are played...
the Asians just started jumping at me all giggly and funny
and like i was their friend...
tonight: more Polish cinema and some
driving test theory...
        but last night...
that allure of that crimson cloud hanging over
my eyes not letting me get to sleep
then waking up early...
     it's almost as if i insurrected hell and told it to rise...
high above and into the heavens
and punctuate the stream-of-consciousness
of heaven... it was... rather... magical...
i'll make up my plans for sleeping longer:
as intended: i'll manage... as long as i don't get
a custard-headache and a lip-trim-vibration
of being constipated...
                 Gary Glitter and rock... rock 'n' roll rock...
rock 'n' roll rock...
no amount of Guns 'n' Roses and Clapton
when coupled with the imagery of...
coulrophobia... William Wallace and the Woad Brigadiers...
because this is England and the English
are only Anglo-Saxons and there's
the Reesh, the Vealsh and the Sceetch to mind...
the Irish the Welsh and the Scots...
             look alive son, comes the Anglo-Slav.
Oct 2024 · 92
Pierrot and Harlequin
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
the original intent was to stress... V: uvula... V: *****... ah! me drinking! me being the one to delve into mind bending tactics while others mind-bind: the binding of dialectical materialism... so soberness and... gaming... today i saw this... a madman, rich: only the rich have the luxuries of madness and fame... the poor simple break the ordeals of order of stating law under the luxury of God: in turn... i saw the children make it hard to understand: i focused in on one auxilliary... when you're ready: i'm ready to pounce! this person is clearly vulnerable... mileage later the stink was obvious... and he smoke like a dragon... Attari bandaid... dimmed Khaki top... sandals and crockodiles... expose toenails... in defence of this madman... Open Air Psychomania of the Asylum... gamers having *** with half-hood-heads of the 1960s post Holocaust expansion projects in North America...the Beatniks are all trans-gender to me: mon...          my mon.... or my man.... England has become an open air Pstychiatric Ward... it's the very first Open Air Asylum! it's amazing! i'm loving it! we can have open wards and open wounds and i'm no poet: i as first concern for veterinary science: i think i always wanted to become a psychiatrist... oh jeez: i think i am a psychiatrist... certainly not a pop pop, pop psychologist... or a dandy philosopher... i think psychiatry is a meeting of geology with philosophy... national portrait gallery: read a review... i will be seeing that Francis Bacon exhibition: simply for Lara vouches that the painting of Pope Innocent IX is there... something amiss... but 19th January is burning day of a month, no?

the poet is not a stand-up comedian:
i come from a culture of cabaret
and not stand-up monologues
who dropped their ***** i say: who dropped
their meat and two veg
i ask... who had the audacity to attack
the Harlequin... the other joker
the joker that only only women undertstand...
i just spent about ten minutes
on the throne of thrones
while playing Mech Arena and getting
into the group chat...
apparently: in gamer speak
i'm a WHALE...
          a ******* whale... not a shark...
a WHALE... poised to be taken advantage
of having my picture taken...
because i was the rebel anti-wasp
and i struck at the epicentre...
oh he might have all the spires and churches
and the bells and like trying to
confiscate Adam:
the uvula... the not *****:
the protruding Adam's apple:
i hate being subordinate to the Hebrews:
while all the while they spent
almost 2000 years in Poland it would seem...
but not really...
and then the **** came and expelled
them and told them: raise me Israel!
so that i can see that Zion!
i want to see Zion! from the ashes...
maybe Israel needs to disappear like it disappeared
when the Hebrews were asked
to head north: among the pagans:
but there's an impasse...
Islam is a monotheism akin to Yahweh's ways:
Je-Howah... he who hides them: the feminine...
plural... he who hides them:
he the baron: rock and rock rock 'n' roll...
gary glitters in the profanity of all that ***
and daughters and mothers....
who is my mother? my lover too?
why is my mumma crying?
i went to the store to pick up her orders...
turns out 2 x 2 = 7 x 7...
          not final soliution: this time...
just a chequers plays chess of **** symbolism
and hebrew symbolism...
so if clockwise: 3 ticks head forward in time?
and if counter-clockwise: just 1 tick back in time?
i was a wasp in a gaming community
chat room: Lothar... Mech Arena...
i was thinking first come first sparrow served:
first thought in my mind:
chess is such a vapid game...
i gave my books then went to school
in the glorious school of machinery: the machine...
i have no objevtive truths:
not that they are helpful to begin with:
just... subjective... experiences...
came across this acronym but i don't remember
it, it's long though and begin with R
ROLOMFO... if my memory serves me best...

reminiscent of the days of Comodore64
Atari... Nintendo: Mario Bros...
lunatic plumbers and via the dragon in the picture
why a dragon why not an overlarged
spider: saw a frog riding a serpent the other day:
toad more menace than a spider...
think about the terror and the whale
and whale being a mammal
while all other fish and squid and monsters:
think of the empathy relating to animals
and not other people...
you can't be empathetic to people:
only to animals...
but you can...
be sympathetic to people:
as a member of the species: class...
you can only be sympathetic to people:
your own species...
make empathy a reserve to understanding
other creatures who define possessing consciounsess
differently: so well ordered: without the word of God...
and with the world of God:
so did Stan the Satan lies to us:
fruit? good and evil: they're words: aren't they...
there is no good or evil
on the canvas of sparrows borrowing
worms and the Francis Bacon:
the canvas of: there be parasites... so?
didn't we get the other canvas to work away from nature:
via word...
well terrible **** does happen in the natural world:
i thought you left?
you didn't leave: maybe that's why Matthew the Satan
is still here: and some other Satan will come along
and ask the cherubs:
so they, they... they think they're still here?
jeez... i've been trying to get them to leave
and stop worrying: i told them
the natural world is not their domain of exploration:
they need to explore the personal,
the psychological:
they need to give the soul a name...
unlike calling a crow a crow...
they need to name their soul: they need to give a name:
abstracting a chair via the word chair...
before the chair there was some variation
of geonometry combined
and leverage... some intuition...
which was before intuition became a forgetfulness
and a memory chasm:
when intuition became knowledge...
a thirst... an eating of the fruit:
of being part of the *****: of order of nature:
when man fell...
the fall of man is here...
lack of intuition created fear and knowledge...
the animalistic endeavor into digesting
anger is the last resolve that Buddhism will not leech off of me...
but i need to revamp Christianity:
and i am angry: fuel my *****...
not soberness and gaming... and spending time:
arguing with a Whale
in the craustacian bucket...
*****... please...

i said: chess is vapid... but this is chess...
MeCH Arena is 3D chess...
not like war robots: which became final fantasy 7...
esque...
but i left the console cinema a long time ago
when Nitendo Mario Bros. 2D became Playstation Tenchu 3D...
Alex still wonders how i managed
to get so far in FFXIII...
not even cheat codes:
an empirical impasse:
the Japanese are confused:
there was this one European that didn't
understand Final Fantasy 8...

but i only said: well.. gentlemen... as long as everyone
is having a grand ol' time...
as long as you didn't spend that money on
Only Fans...
i don't mind you going to a brothel... physically:
and all that... otherwise:
i see i am both man and the anti-zodiac
anti-magic: anti-woman:
"they": THEY said i'm a whale:
put that in your hexagram-pentragram...


          oh sure, yes...
                          alright, there... Sheriff...
talking to my woman?
did i call him Sheriff or Sherlock...
oh... now i remember... hey... ch'ief... you looking for
something?
******* gamers like Swifties... hone brigade
so offensive to say: you guys... pay for this ****?
fair enough fair enough:
Lothar has spoken...
as long as you're not giving it to sycophants and succubuses...
just not a stand-up show:
more clarinet and cabaret:
something french and less *******
my pants about to die monologue testing...
Logan i'm ******: so... we missed the mouth...
the mouth-project?!

i hear school girls cuss and swear
while wearing provocative tools of skirt
and socks and naked flesh
then i think of Reyla and her apathy
and i drown in my own inability
to withstand the pressure with her...
i want to die with her...
and maybe someone else...
and it breaks my heart that no brother
no father
and i can be a male and with that lineage
of Plato i can make a playground
of my own: but poor girl her...
from where to where:
quo vadis: what inspiration?
these 2nd generation nagging housewives?
i was bringing... 6 of the same...
******* winter jackets! i felt like an idiot!
but then i didn't... because
the grace of god descendent and the stoic.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
but Christianity emerged out of Judaism! any other prior religion and i might concede! but this religion goes against everything that is natural and wholesome and ingrained in my psyche long before Christianity emerged! to submerge myself on the forefront of lacerations and castrations and circumcisions is beyond any measure of a healthy psyche! oh sure: plus... plus never mind the diabolical incisions of poetics that might disrupt our natural inclination for pork: because it's such an ergonomic animal that its ears and tail and hooves might be eaten... but no... just let us dabble along with a tinge of cannibalism... but it's just a metaphor... so: ******* what?! pork no good but christ is ******* A:O.K. alright... give me that... give it... let me have my Shylock's pound of flesh... let me in... let me gorge on your flesh... give me: give me... savior... let's see what human flesh tastes like... leave poetic aside... let's be dialecticalically materialistic about it: no poetic... no metaphor... just that corpse... give me give... don't struggle... let me drain all these horros brought upon the pagan world... these deities... these Jihads of words against images... and prior to that: those Crusades of images against graven pillars... like for like, eye for eye... long gone are the day when you could have eloquent critiques of Christianity via the subtle intelligence of Nietzsche... now comes only the bare, ******* minimum!

it's very strange that England's Work and Pensions
Department sends me a letter
with a figure: £2,715.14...
i apparently i owe them that much...
in overpayment of having received Employment
and Support Allowance for the period
01/04/24 through to 29/07/24...
yes: i am guilty of withdrawing money and
stashing it like a good squirrel...
i have roughly that amount: in... physical
money... banknotes...
it's just damnable to think that i can't have
physical money to this amount stashed
and not transparent in a bank account
with a tracker allowing authorities to know
where and when and on what i might
be spending this money on...
this makes me feel less inclined to be an honest
person...
i worked a rubric and it doesn't make sense:
within these confines, having received the allowance
of:
23/8/24 - £318.10
12/8/24 - ditto
29/7/24 - ditto
all the way down to the 08/4/24...
and my earnings... regardless:
but within these confines the double-edged sword:
work no more than 16 hours per week
or earn about £160.00 per week
on top of the allowance...
so where does this figure of nearing £3,000 come from?
the actual, physical money i has stashed
for a rainy day?!
Jocelyn Pook: masked ball music...
i am: living in England and...
i'm watching movies from Communist Poland...
so i am not allowed to have money?
not even money i am not willing to spend?
i don't mind the argument:
but i don't see the calculation and how the sum
of money was arrived at...
i've just been prompted to pay the sum:
oh i can pay it... but i need transparency back
at me...
sure... i'll pay it if i must:
but surely i should only be made to pay back
the difference in how i managed to earn more
than i was supposed to...
so in that period that would come to...
£251.33 earned over the limit of £160.00 allowed:
that's roughly £110.00 in the span of
April, May, June, July...
4 x 4 = 16 weeks... i can pay back the reasonable
ransom of my clerical error of...
£1,760...
                  and this is England? the birthplace of
both capitalism... and of communism!
ha ha ah ha ha ah ha ha ha!
well: isn't it? maybe my earnings for the Yids at
Tottenham became displaced or whatever
******* reason there is:
it's just odd that i have this amount in physical
money and this is the same amount of money
that needs to be circulated back into the system
to allow what? more Bane Banana Boat Brigadiers
to strip me naked: beyond nakedness
to the muscle and bone like some *******
Gunther von Hagens strip show?!
Christianity and it's ******* cannibalistic bureuocracy!
if Christianity arrived from within paganism:
from anywhere else, beside Judaism...
i might have been inclined to submit...
but then Islam emerged as a rhetorical answer to
too many answers being staged!
Christianity is an anti-ontology, it has disrupted
the course of human experience for too long!
if Christianity emerged from any other religion...
from Hinduism... i would concede...
but Christianity emerged from Judaism...
that plagiarism of the ancient ways...
                                 and am i supposed to just:
******* take it: because i might get good church-brothel
***?!
              no... i need a second letter explaining to
me: why i can't have this amount of:
physical money stashed...
      who needs to know what and who or how
i spend it? maybe i should ask these questions to
my A.I. buddy to suss out what's afoot.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
Schoenberg's verklärte nacht, op. 4
for starting the night off...
reminiscence of the past four nights spent
in the silo of isolation:
thinking about Engels and Marx and
that theory about alienation -
such nights with fire and classical music
on the shift...
but i am doing a personalised understudy
in Polish Cinema from the Communist
Era... and i'm finding a great deal
i will not write essays about or pay
for an actual undergraduate degree:
it would have to be a post-graduate thesis
proposal for an educational body
say a university about the study of Polish Cinema
in the context of that time period
as a comparative tool to not exactly...
but exactly that... deconstruct modern cinema
in the English speaking world...
if i am a pink haired oily skinned
overweight leftist or leftoid or an ardent
Communist-**** ******* left opposition
in that the Devil is Left
and God is Right...
                        but i can be a proper deconstructionist
follow the paths of deconstructionalism
via the model of post-modernism
but only from the ashes and context of
being: as the British working class love
to make the distinction about foreigners
and then the Pakistani foreigners themselves
about new immigrants esp European
immigrants: BORN & BRED ENGLISH
BRITISH...
like that old slogan...

but that other slogan: BLUT UND BODEN...
well: where is your land?!
where?!

modern English speaking world cinema is
in need of right wing deconstructionist
post-modernists critiques...
which have to be learned from the left leaning
loony crowd in the English speaking world
that does not exist in other parts of the world
simply because those parts of the world
were rather strict and serious about the left
even Germany was
but then Germany took the other route toward
Marxism and England will have to too
experience its own version of Marxism...
given that i asked the question:
who was more critical, authentically concerned,
with the terrible living conditions
of the working people in Manchester...
child slavery in England was a real thing...
England might have shone the light
to the rest of the world:
but internally it has always been a Dickensian
pogrom
a fowl place of orc and elves... and dwarfs...
this is not a Christian nation no more
than Poland was upon its conversion...
then defending the last pagan stronghold of Europe
that was Lithuania:
like Christianity reached Kievan Rus sooner
than and the enclave of Litwa: Litwa...
the last heart of Europe before the cancerous
experiment on humanity
like the Parting of the Red Sea = the Holocaust...
in terms of wonder
how God can inflict such wonders telepathically
no longer through the winds the seas and speaking
through fire: but as the lord of hosts
able to do what... Apocalypse does in the X-Men
universe and consumes Prof Xavier's consciousness
like a spin-off on the Marvel universe:
the baddy wins in the second movie
while dying in the first...

see: cinema in the west doesn't do much with human
nature: just the crushing of human imaginings
where there are more images than words
being consumed:
like this inner circle craving of the Elites in Eyes
Wide Shut to insert a paganism
to defeat the crushing Christianity of Judaism
and not Christianity out of Paganism...
or a Christianity out of Hinduism:
since we are talking geneology: time...
not all religions emerged at once...
same is to say not all people emerged all at once...
therefore who is to talk about the environment
and the green Antarctica...

Harlequin *******... sharing words sharing
images...
clearly... i felt like a *** slave...
                                   a little toy and then to bring
to mind: why wake up with negative thoughts...
but i was waking up at 6pm and not 6am
with negative spinning vertigo thoughts
like looking into glass and with enough
night being able to see a mirror... some terrific
horror beginning this night
with a spider gently, silently dropping down from
the ceiling of the hut...
at least not in front of my nose but near enough
for me to see and instead of a frightened aghasp
a cross-eyed examination suggested
that i should just blow it away: swing it away
like those flowers: out of nouns: you blow the seeds
away like parachutes
why didn't **** Germany just bomb London
why not send in: en masse:
their best lovers, poets, philosphers, thieves,
the crimminals! why didn't **** Germany
just bomb other cities like Manchester
and Industrial Heart of the Empire
while simultaneously not drop crimminal
paratroopers into London or on the outskirts...
crimminals... like what the Russians are doing
but anally... crimminals as... footsoldiers?!
you ******* kidding me?!
no no!
you drop crimminals into enemy lines...
just like what a lot of countries are doing in England
but there's no single country:
no wait... that's not what's happening:
dialectical materialism spectacles...
the rest of the world is dumping workers
into the drip feed of society for uber and deliveroo
asians...
those kamikaze antics of their knowledge of Roman
Roads is like... rules of the roads in Rome itself...
bogus...

ah... class... in England... if it's not about money
then it must be about interest...
and there's this overseeing scrutiny about
work ethic, work pride,
yes... work pride... something concerning
work and nobility:
long gone are the days of nobility and feudalism
and monarchy:
pride and nobility: pride is a version:
subdued by nobility...
one can be a petty security guard in a hut
in one of the most spectacular places
on earth to witness the plethora of humanity
at night: Elephant and Castle...
lunatics and the open asylum and oh so many stars...

my company is asking for my social media
pages... they want to make an audit...
i think i've been captured on camera doing
something right... and they want to see my social media
profile... i'm a bit shy: it's a bit like losing your virginity
for the first time: to allow the virtual world
to collide with the real world:
i'm afraid of being sacked...
not that i wouldn't react to it with so much desperation
as to fly to Istambul and become
a missing person...
and like those modern people who...
i can't get past Schoenberg past the 6th or 7th minute...
like those people who have music curated
to them Moloch of Metallica adoration music
and producer and musician somewhere an artist:
oh i adored Metallica's master of puppets...
but i spent the first two weeks just listening to Battery
before listening to the rest of the album...
by god! that's me!
i can't listen past Schoenberg's 6th or 7th minute:
there's just so much and it works like a tide
when you let yourself go
and listen to the entire 30 minutes:
this is CLASS in England...
intellect...                     concern for humanity: soothing it
by distracting it with one's own solipsistic interest...
oh: if they want to audit my internet presence...
they'll be in for a surprise...

but English cinema is rarely existential and
so much phantoms to please...
it's sad that foreigners adopted:
but who invents the tools doesn't necessarily
have a say
concerning how those tools are to be used... right?
there's no inventor of cinema:
the objective... who gets to dictate the subjective
from the creation of the tool...
i see a hammer but no nail?
tool or weapon?
hammer and nail as a weapon become a torture emblem
of Christ and Pinhead in the hellraiser universe...
nail on its own... perhaps a toothpick...
so the hammer and the sickle
would! oh oh oh!
i want to redraw the flag of **** Germany!
apologies to the Asians!
i need south Korean now!
it's a flag!
drop the ******* the red white and black
that the Arabs are now borrowing
with a tinge of green in writing...
i have a flag!

                  BLACK...
                            wit­h a WHITE: HAMMER
   and SCYTHE!
                              or... maybe not a hammer...
but the hammer... yes... a black flag with a white
hammer and a scythe...
we don't need no clock of the ******* now:
we have the star of david clock turning...
tick... tock... tick... tock...           tick... tock...
i see a mat to sit on and read an open book.
two horns: tick tock... tick tock...
                                 i see my comrades ahead:
Jackie Spoonfularrow...
                              she's there... mermaids in her
**** juices...
                     tick-tock...

卐    (anti-clockwise or clock-wise...
             focus on the Rorschach...
         is this symbol orientated around a clockwise
dynamic... or an anti-clockwise dynamic?
can't say much for clocks and O...
            so that's the symbol of time performed so isolated
so much like the Birth of Christianity
from the ******* of Rome!
        i know that for me... this is... anti-clockwise...
but see... the germans chose the clockwise *******...
i'm chosing.... the anti-clockwise *******
and it will be just white on black...
in the corner like the five stars of China
and the hammer and the scythe... elsewhere...

something needs to happen spiritually!
artistically! voluntarily!
by the grace of god...

    ****... clock is stuck... hardly the crossroads... ***
of **** sites...
        i wanted to venture to show you the tick-tock
of the clock... clockwise starter quater to, then noon...
but that html codecie is only burning a flag...

thus a clock running on empty where
the second hand just quivers, limply...
trying to move forward but then having a dead man's
reflex response: tug-tod...    tug-tod... tugging at
the angel of death imploring him:
am i awake in heaven or in hell or again?!

can't replicate the html dictates of this page...

p.s. i made a faux pas: there is a mistake in here...
i know it...
      the Nazis did choose the anti-clockwise
*******: but they fell because you can't
choose an anti-clockwise *******
to go back in time... huh?! no anti-clockwise
just counter-clockwise?
wait wait...

yes a clockwise ******* imply going back
is healthy?! like a counter-clockwise *******
going forward in time:
******* to O                                 maybe it all fell
apart because their chose a counter-clockwise
******* to go back in time and unearthed...
what they unearthed: God's disgruntlement
with his People
concerning their overstayed welcome
in Poland: so that currently: Poland can prosper
and be envied by journalists in England
and i'm not even there
because my grandfather was a Communist
Party member and there was no room for people
like me back there: some country
like Chamberlain's Czech Republic Antarctica;

Człowiek z marmuru: man of marble: Wajda...
or Dostoyevsky's Idiot and my Anti-Idiot combined...
Decalogue: I, III, X... oh and VII for Linda's performance.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
in an alternative universe I would have walked out of my hut and approached the police officers peering in and said: sorry, you can't park here, there's a McDonald's delivery truck on site that will be leaving soon and you're blocking access, can you please move the vehicle... which would have spared me the consternation... ooh: I love words that I use infrequently: and that would have been that... but then I wouldn't have the adrenaline to right a wrong and apologise to one person who deserved it (the delivery driver) and that mindless confrontation with a ****** in the form of an old woman shouting at me from the balcony: O **** me Romeo... I'm not climbing to such heights... in an alternative reality I wouldn't have been summoned to write these words... but I did spring into action and the delivery driver lost maybe 15min... that's fashionable for life to somehow become a salient drama of organisms with voices beyond the ruptures tectonic and dogs barking... clearly this woman has been observing me for some time... one slip of my bad judgement and I get scolded... **** me... and it's not even someone I know or care about... but shouldn't police officers know the "hygiene" of how to park a ******* vehicle so that it's not obstructive? Excuses excuses: but no... is there any sympathy for the devil so lowly cast that he has no army, no wealth to contest an argument? who is in the wrong here? who is in the wrong... in the end it was callous of me to presume the car would only be parked for a reprieve... but it's not like a ghost limb lost cause with only a minor delay... trains get delayed... that ******* glaring audacity of critique: why you no robo? why you not robot? erm... because my cognitive range is beyond shouting down on people from a balcony? maybe that?! I have a rich cognitive realm that doesn't descend into such trivialising and watching jeopardy on television? 15min late doesn't imply a ******* irreversible amputation of a limb... give me a ******* break! in an alternative universe: this poem doesn't exist.

a haggard old woman emerges
onto a balcony
brandishing a telephone call
like a pitchfork or a flaming torch:
why don't you respect the time
and the work ethos of immigrants!
I will be watching you,
filming you... do your job!
do your job!
you should have prevented
the police car from obstructing
the access road for the McDonald's
delivery truck... you are wasting
his time!
in her thick immigrant accent
and I'm thinking to myself...
then I coerce her and agree...
I did see the police car drive up
and park where they shouldn't have...
to female officers walk out...
they peer into my security cabin...
see me... ergo: if there's someone
organic in there, surely this access
road must be live... split second mistake
as I was still deep in Military Time
planning my route home,
given it's a Sunday and there is
reduced service on everything
from buses to trains:

1st northern line train out
of Elephant & Castle departs
at 0721
****... that would mean 21minutes
wasted...
1st trains from LST (Liverpool St)
to RMF (Romford)
plat 9 0723 : 0739
plat 11 0733 : 0800
plat 11 0748 : 0815
plat 6 0753 : 0808

Bus stop V at RMF
499: 0743, 0813, 0843
103: 0808, 0838
175: 0803, 0833...

****...
Bus stop D near E & C
35: 0700, 0713 to London Bridge
journey time <15min...
then Jubilee line to Stratford...
17min from London Bridge
if all goes to plan I should catch
the 0748 train...

it could hardly be a noise complaint
and shouldn't the police officers
know better?
I didn't react in time
but I also thought they might
be there for a short while
given their choice of a parking
spot...
but that woman complaining
that a man wasn't doing his job
is... well just that... loud mouth
not enough grit to grind teeth
and manage stoically...
she just wanted someone to shout
at from the balcony...
and while the engine was grinding
a Bach ***** into the ground
and ambient sound
again the audacity: don't pretend
you can't hear me!

Split second decision...
but the police officers saw me
and I saw them...
but being women regardless
of uniform: deer in headlights...
could have waved a friendly
hello and asked...
mea culpa I know I should have
just ******* ran out and spared
myself the headache:
but you hardly think that police
officers could be guilty of bad
parking ethics...
sure... in a traffic accident where
they have to block off the road...
but so brazenly casual in no state
of emergency?
why didn't the police officers get
the brunt of the old woman's anger?
why? because they were women, no?
how else to simplify it
that in my mind I tried to intuitively
allow for the parking to take place...
am I a traffic warden too?
can police vehicles be warded off
from bad parking?
I thought that being in the police
while in uniform gave you some
******* immunity?
and didn't I just play out a:
benefit of the doubt scenario
in my head whereby I thought they
might only park for 15min?

they saw some alive manning
the access road...
so I sprung into action
first via the access gate to the rear
of the police station... called twice...
gave the reg plate...
upon 2nd time was given
suggestion to go to the front gate...
ran round and the clerk
already dealing with one matter
saw horror in my eyes
radioed through, although
we shared a similar frustration
at the somewhat pointless radio traffic...
within minutes: I ran back
apologising to the delivery driver...
same driver who upon entry
also apologised when I said to him:
I'm going to the toilet...
why are you telling me this?
How long are you going to be?
An hour...
went to the toilet walked back
to my hut and so he approached
with a sorry misunderstanding:
well yeah, I don't work for McDonald's
either...

that ******* haggard old woman...
shouting and giving me paranoia
that I now have thinking
she's sitting there all alone in
a pretty plush residential building
where crazy rich Asians come and
go, deliveroo at 2am, prostitutes etc
while I'm just wanting to finish
the Decalogue (short films about: xyz)...
but if police officers don't know
how to park their ******* vehicles...
that just gives me all the more
impetus to finish my driving
license theory in half the planned time
**** of to Poland for two weeks...
get the actual license...
then ******* to Hawaii and never
look back at this place...
this urban cesspit...
Oct 2024 · 113
11th Commandment
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
don't go to bed with bad thoughts:
charge them, charge them to the full:
asked upon coming home whether
i'd sleep all day having spent all night awake:
no of course not...
but i need my ritual to get the graveyard
shift amphetamine full charger
on...
coming back home with silence
a homeless man under the bridge
and a bible study group around Romford St
RMF RMF no FM FM...
Poland Holy Place my place of birth
even though as a boy an older boy
told me to open my mouth
whereby he subsequently spit into it...
shaman ritual:
we are blood and we are water
now that i'm reading Dune...
that wasn't an insult but a sharing of water...
because he saw the things i did
in Poland before i came to England
and did some on the side...
like calling out to a bird
in Valentine's Park and the little bird
flying into my hand from
a bush...
O dearest dear O my dear
and today i finished the shift on time...
7am...
so this is the clock-O-monkey
measure for measure like for like
eye for an eye...
no pound of flesh for all that is Bank
Judaism of Usury...
Jews are not exclusive in that Sin...
i wonder why didn't mention the 11th Commandment:
you will not have this alchemical economy
project:
turning metal into only one that being gold...
money doesn't make money
money is exchanged
for goods: deeds: moral debts...
the 11th Commandment doesn't mention
money doesn't it?
why God said only said
you will not ****** you will not steal...
why theft is there
and Usury isn't... this be the 11th commandment
and the director of the Decalogue is dead
i just finished commandment 4, 5, 6...
5 i was thinking of Reyla
6 i was thinking of Edie...
then Edie sends me a most provocative picture
of Reyla sleeping:
i too was lethargic and empty from the last
week of shifts...
the nights were so long...
so two days before or maybe nights...
"we" struck a deal with Mark Nathon
my day to night shift operator...
anyway
he came at 5:45am: kind reward...
day later: tonight... 'you coming early today?'
'yes, mate...'
   bring myself coffee and tea almost each
time...
O Mark my *** poor man
came so angry at me today...
maybe he dreamnt of me
but there was something simpler...
the details i'll screenshot and send to Edie
and have my own psychology session
with the child inside of me and all of us...
this son of man:
a trial for both god and the devil...
there are two trinities
that became conflated and distorted...
not properly worded... the Jews and Early Christians...
forsaken...
there are two trinities...
one consisted of the supposed son of god:
the father the son and the holy spirit
yet... yet?!       why is baby jesus depicted
as a baby with the Madonna?
so who is the Holy Spirit... it's not god:
a litany of messangers...
the trinity of the devil...
it's not the beast, the antichrist, the architecture...
you like my linen?
i like your skirts and kilts and kayleighs...
maybe the people of Falkands can't see
an army to defend them so
better to sniff out more sun
and abandon the lies
and pride
and ******* and give way to a penguin
takeover of the ******* islands!
the Argentinians only fought a war of:
why are you keeping these people
here! so miserable! let them tango
in Buenes Senioritas!

you said so yourself:
most of the people are Scots! of origin...
so displace the Scots:
like you can displace the ******* Philistines
and create a working diaspora
a nation of the mind!
not of ****** origin...

so he mouthed me off... ******... came point on 7
and the only reason i was late yesterday
last night
is because a train broke down
and there was traffic
and i overslept till 4:30pm
but left 4:49pm not having showered...
but in the WhatsApp group i said too much
for this little soul
and i gasp at having this demeanour
of condescending feeds...
    but the owner looked past my misreads
and... thumbs up 4am...
only to me...

           some bigger things existed...
history stopped from being
recited prior to year 1914: year 0.....
          because we landed on the moon
at night... we didn't land on the moon
when the sun shines on the surface...
why? because we would fry chicken be?
is that why?
so why bother to land on the moon
during the moon's night
and already know... beside mushrooms:
what starter-pack-up organic phenomenon
feeds off of
moonlight and skunk ***** juices...

mouth me off... i just revelled in a heart pouncing
at an emotion worded by a toothless
dyslexic...
a ******* train broke down:
mate: when flights were halted
over Iceland: because... "act of god"...
    
                   so daddy issues: proper:
provided us 2000 years of somehow the ancients
being exhausted by finding stoicism and aestheticism?
Logia: finally understanding:
sow: two flaws... maybe three:
three by now is Judaism:
is has become ugly...
at it's most splendourous: abouding...

the purge jihad crusafe
judaism islam christianity...
i felt abandon greatest
in monotheism:
this cult of individuality:
you had a Moses:
i know:
it hurts...
who hurt you?
you will not get a 2nd Moses:
or a Second God...
that... how is your god stop evolving?
there are already two alternatives...
Allah and the Unknown Name of Jesus as Father...
and Son... and Holy Ghost...
am i He who finally obstructs the evolution
of Yahweh as a god of letters:
finally the gauged out eyes: read braille:
but first the phonetic alphabet...
long lines __
and dots... dind't play the guitar...
did: copper tips...

i can cage Yahweh if you let me
cage him, dear humankind:
the Hebrew need to be rid of this parasite:
i don't know his origins
i don't need the Holocaust,
Israel, Pollacka: insult they lived and
created a language based off of German:
Yiddish:
we failed them? they didn't properly
integrate into Poland:
yet lived there...
and exported monkey money to
their cousins in Germany
to create a new breeding ground in Anglo-Saxon
brides etc. in north America?!

so they lived in Poland...
but had their majority... slaves
among slavs... living in Poland?!
they created the Yiddish
of Hebrew with German...
yet they lived among Poles
most peacefully...
but they didn't bother to think
about creating a language
with the Polacks!
o shame on you!
Yahweh was right
the Germans told you
you ought to be... exterminated
for the hurt of pride upon the Pole
and your MArxist
******* ******* *******
cult! you ******* Moloch swaying people!

YOU DESERVED THE HOLOCAUST!
AND DEFEND!
STRUGGLE WITHOUT POWER!
IRAN IS PURE ISLAM
AND NOT SAUDIA ARABIA!

why breed hebrew with german?
why didn't you breed the hebrew tongue
with the polish tongue?

too late for that now:
i see you and your god's fury
in the Roman architecture of YHWH...
Oct 2024 · 86
Genesis
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
sleep harmonious sleep such great medicine
but sleep sometimes so pointless
when one does not dream much
so sleep can be stretched to a different cycle:
the length of a day on the moon
is like... 567hours... last time i heard:
oh: the first colony must be the moon
i wonder:
because those 1960s photographs
from the moon were pretty ****...
so people asked: is there a night on the moon?
well! yeah! but there's also a day!
the light side of the moon is as sunny
as on earth!
and it doesn't last for a fraction of the 24 hours...
it last for like two weeks...
according to the muslim and hebrew calendar!
i mean: **** me...
but as i tell my partner:
see those clouds in the sky...
those lowest are water clouds:
absorb and defract colour...
but those other clouds: high high up...
those are ice clouds...
they look like god's doodles from where
derived language of the higher esteem
beyond the hieroglyphs...
ice clouds: always white:
pristine... god this god the painter with light
and composer of sounds...
but those highest of clouds
never turn light into colour...
doodle in the sky remnants of god
scribbling...
             well... the Light Side of the Moon
is like a joke about Alaska
and how sunny it is insomnia over there
during summer... spring...
like everyday life in London:
insomniac neon blue and... alabaster...
gubernatioral... love the sound of words
from time to time...

so Mark Nathan finally caught up with my plan!
mate: i want to be more important than
constructionw workers when it comes to shuffling
through the hours of the day...
i want to be a poet: i want to make my
morning commute like i was the first one...
i was the archtiect of language...

if my last check call comes in at 5:45am and
Mark is there because he wasn't slept since 2:30am
and that's because he likes to go to bed early...
so i can get there for 5:45pm...
we started from sheering off half an hour
before the actual clock-off of 7pm...
that became 6:30am/pm, 6:15...
and then a massive flip to: half an hour...
5:45am/pm...

                           sure, minimum wage....
what isn't, these days?
harrowing hours, never see the chance to socialize
on the weekend...
drinking culture...
beer and all the jovial spirits...
but no hard ***** drinking and hard conversations
and hard scribbling and hard thinking?
just jovials spirits of wine and beer and cider...
no real culture of pushing the limits
on such spirits as *****...
i tried whiskey but i am not a rock star
so can't summon the bourbon spirit...
***** is for slavic intellectuals... i'm afraid to say:
that's what ruined my uncle Martin:
he tried to be so so English
he didn't realise that England was changing
and so he fled back to Poland...
but in his genes there was the bedrock
of hard intellectualistion:
like ***** is water
like there's hard water and there's soft water...

i know: i did say...
40cl per session: but you smoke a joint first...
why? because you want to get off
drinking a litre of *****:
sleep-deprivation:
the active ingredient is marijuana with
your intellect:
oddly enough after seeing Dekalog 7, 8....
a while while back...
i decided to go back to my roots...
Polish culture... Polish language...
sorry... nothing personal: i'm not English...
i just have this tongue...
Dekalog 1...                  watch it watch it!

also, before i forget...
also...
ahem! ladies and gentlemen! i bring you!

🍼             and                😬

pacifier 1.0            and pacifier 2.0
pacifier of the ****** = no teeth....

pacifier 2.0 of the nibble
of a **** = plenty of teeth!
                 but once i tasted the ****:
i need a night guard pacifier:
because my tongue is so insatiable
and i could never bite on your lips
ooh yes yes!

better than circumcision!
make sure young males have the ******
pacifier then
find a woman to prescribe him
a night buard... from ****** to *****
pacifier...
/how's my low tone Taylow Swift
never ever getting back together on feminism?!/

what of the scientific method:
wasn't it always true that in order to draw
a straight line: you needed to know two points?
so this one almost fake because it was
despair to conquer a riddled ideology...

your guys landed on the moon at night!
we don't actually know what landing
on the moon during the moon's daylight
hours is like!
we have not yet experienced landing
on the moon during the daytime...

catalogue Dekalog 1 for me...
the genius and his genius child prodigy
that ends up only thinking about skating
on ice
but there were no ice rinks back then
so there was a need to gamble
of scientifically improve on studying
ice density...
but the kid drowned and AI was born...
to no god a tool that is technology
this iconoclasm of complexity:
give me the basic details! son, and show me father!

i got home early then decided to help mother
put out the washing to dry...
if i see this one ******* the northern line
coming from Morden
via Elephant and Castle...
jeans... shy with a baseball cap...
exposing her collar bones...
fury and scent i want! i want! meat-canyon that
youtube cartoon artist...
like i want to see Wimbledon with you
sort of vibe of a girl...

no wonder Alien and Predator arrived
and the fear...
where the trinity of Cluastrophobia
Islamophobia and Arachnophobia merged...
with massive spider of the Quran...
because the Palestainians
in the Arabic world are like... what?
what the Jews were to Europeans...
but also weren't because Jews are Jews
and Palestinians are what in the Great Ummah?
****'a foddler?

           i see a correlation of races...
the Europeans (Russians, mongrels)
and the Orientals combined....
the Eastern Indians and the Aztecs and other Indians...
which leaves Africa... black supremacy?
really? so the Europeans with their ties
to Europe were one product of time
the Africans had no ties with the Arabs?
so now we're all couple... Finns, Eskimos and Penguins...
seriously?!
2 + 2 = 1

  don't understand the logic of passing a numbers
via 2 x 2 = 5...
but then i'm working the dynamic of + and not x
addition: not multiplication...
by addition i imagine a continuity, history....
by multiplication i envision the spontaneity of
phenomenons
like some audacities of biology getting a brain
and thinking something for a while:
then disappearing like an idiocacy: because of
the mechanisations of both evolution
and automation...

i do like going home before all the construction
workers start their shifts...
i'm going home when they're going to work
and i don't even have to meet their scrutiny
as the first arrived morning ***** of adherents
to the day...
mate! we only, supposedly, landed on the moon:
once... and it was during the night!
hence why picture of earth are like pictures
of the moon on earth....
we didn't ******* land on the moon
during the moon's daytime hours!
Bogus ******* compass: hey... "Columbus":
no Copernicus on the ship that Newton ******
a gay sailor on!

the ancients Soviets will have the right to dream
with assurance this observstion...
so you landed on the moon
while we were first into space...
but you have given us so much insignificance terror
for having navigated so: spectacular without
a proper subjective gravity and grammar:
she he she they thou it nothing
you don't even know how to make do
with those pictures...
so much psychadelic poison:
imagine the fluke of a chance
of landing on a day on the moon:
you'd forget going further into Mars...
just revise landing on the Moon during the Moon's
daytime hours
and take pictures... it's science:
you need to compare! compare! stop being Sodomites
start being scientists!
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
meatcanyon....
me new youtube discovery...
i subscribed to some new
channels
and my algorithm started
to behave like AI...

princesses Veroniya
and Reyla
are sharing my room...
as i write:
maybe REyla is
more a Bilie Eilish fan girl
Lesbian Pop
than Taylor Swift:

some new grunge....

exposure to AI better:
betters allow you to navigate
the algorithm landscape

search engine:
bibliogtraphy
ecycoploedia....
dictionary
and thesaurus... rex

two eyes but only one tongue of Allah:
one eye yet two tongues of Polyphemus.

Arable Arabic or the Glut Monkey
of Iran...
the Other Muslims
not the Saudis
and their gangs of Pakistani Lonely
Men....
Iran: compared to the Sunni
Islam Ummah:
Iran i admire: i would always
compenstate converting to Islam
via ****'ah... Islam...
new adventure...
a Sunni ****'ah... (SUFI...
i love women too much:
soi i best wrestle with pope and poetry.... just show
me glee... Lucifer-baby...

                         wonderful war pre war
or the greatest education project
of the War of the Armaggedon...

Iran the mystical land after Arabia
and just before India...
a magit carpet ride: o sweet sweet...
getting an Ottoman shave
and wet towel... treatment:
night shifts...

120£ by the end of one...
but i get to explore new movies
like... PSY with Linda and Kondrat...
no... that's a whitetest of lies...

but why not the equivalent Exodus
and Genesis of the Palestinians
and Philistines...
walk about: ask for Arab status
like Hebrew status of European
by the end of your travels!
show me that Palestinians are not
the Ancients: Philistines!
show me! walk! walk! Iran
is imploring you to give us this truth:
this future! and yes!
if the Lebanese are willing to go too!
take them! walk into Iran via England
and across Siberia:
avoiding Poland...
anywhere! go! give us a 2000 year old
history of the Revival of Islam!

show me Palestine: you Philistine!
who me culture!
i can't simply rely on the quick
fix of Le Trio Joubran and that
****** trip in Amsterdam
with the Ehyptian...
G: is an implosion of meaning:
like necropolis... imitation
of moputin the mountain ranges
i saw the sands break equal with time
and what was mountain ranges
those of the Sahara used
to be like the Himalayas
let me give you:
a perspective on time:
non-being and time: i'm sorry:
if you want to look that far
back with only natural history
and nothing socio-economic...
you have to choose...
the lineage of people
or the linear diversion Darwinistic-historiollygy...
but the Philistines will have to recognise
the history of their Genesis and Exxodus...
a two-state solution is a 2000y year old project...
hello! hello!
eh?! hello?!
                       so *******...
from Judah to Israel so let's see what
Palestine looks like
from your origins as the Philistines:
angry Polacks
not willing to move
big assses just sat the **** down...
i don't see Palestine...
i just see the Philistines
retards not seeing the Magic of Islam...
let's just see more clearly...
the LEftists didn't realise?
they want the Philistines to March across
the world: became the equivalent
of the Jewish diaspora!
genius! ******* people!

hey! while you're at it!
bring me back some Falafel!
some scripture second Koran....
2000 years! bye bye!
go see the Saudis first...
thirsty kink: let's see Hell first!

oh and some Lebanese...
i heard of the twin towers....
hmm... so there must be:
this must be a tale of the twin tribes.
the PHilistines and
the Lebz... we share a history
the northern crusades and your
almost Jordanian old Rome
Pagan:
who the baby toy in charge?
who who? omega... abso...
alphas gravitate to beta and versus...
sigmas: self proclaimed must gravitate
toward omegas...

chop chop! i believe in you!
give us 2000 years of revising and revitalising:
modernizing Islam!
jog on! come back in 2000 years...
show me Palestine!
by then i promise you
Israel will become Zion!
Oct 2024 · 128
AIA
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
AIA
Genghis Khan :
                          Mataias Khim
Oct 2024 · 99
sex in the mouth
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
Ma-chew:
or Maciu....
i think that's me
Hebrew endearment
while i
have surname
no surname like
Nike
Windsor
Radziwithe vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...the vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...

Ł: boga...

Łogos.....
tam czas.... szszszs shshshshsh....
i am masculine catharsis in
writing:
you are that in ***....
i love Edie's ***
i love Edie's ***...
her sexuality translates
into  a *** i love to read
**** and ***
all open and mouth
Eva Notty getting oiled,
massaged....
*** in the mouth

3 limp masturbations
god i miss her
her
her *** not her sexuality
this woman
i want part three
Woozy,
thailand...
faithless...

               DEVADEVAM...
D.... i see abehheive#a
a beehive of apostrophes...
and y - adjunct....

         Disemvoweling...
this entrey didn't exist....
until i asked
the question...

replacing the vowels with
apostrophes
y = '
yod.....

                    -
lossely....

      hyphwen.... velsh:
i muster my troops of Velsh
and the Scots against
the English...

i abhor the Anglo-Saxon
arrogance:
Normans: Danes: Vikings:
Anglo-Slavs....
Oct 2024 · 68
HaYakim
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2024
An answer to ha-shem:
Yahweh...
   I am ha-yakim...
Jak i Kim...
        If I don't disappear
into India and among
the Ummah in the next year
**** me forever!
Ha'Akim said.
Y (serpent)

Δ (man)

∇(Gods)

now slide the hexagram
across the allingment
to the clock
with the *******
turn the Star of David
to the side...
with the *******...

A carpet with an open
book... "geometry".

and by... Ha-Yakim (Ha'akim)
I say:
The or... He who knows
Yah-ah-Kim...
         He who knows....
Himself as who knows who
Knows and himself: doesn't
Know...

       Ja: Kim?!
I: who are you? Ha:
not so much a definite article
borrowed from Hebrew:
but I do laugh a lot.

Kto ty?! Who are you?
Ja... jam jest ja...
No to kwitkiem: ten kto.
Quo owo ash vadis.
Quis es?    Owo... ovo:
one you two uu voltzwagen
diabolical polo.

A generation of souls
rescued from
the liturgy of the celebrated
Mongol Khan...
Of those known by a different
surf of history:
the Khim.
Sep 2024 · 83
Caption
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
and on her 13th birthday... she had a pool party and night before I talked with Edie and... grandma... while baking a dry sponge, strawberry, vanilla, glaze... ridiculous... I guess long term relationships only work when you live in the bellybutton 0 meantime of London... and your love scandal is 18 years older than you and on the island of Kauai... then she talks about her past boyfriends... you get jealous... fine: fibrous... fine fine...adds to my character to chew... but then... then...she shows you pictures of her fron her youth... ... ... ... ... get a proper I.Q. m.o.t. if you don't get my, ******* surf / drift as to what I'm insinuating; ****.

I cry,
And the weapons
Of tears
That come running
From my eyes
Slither
Winding
Into my ears
And I am born
With the Gemini-Tongue.
Breeding Taurus
With a Virgo...
O joyous child
Reyla my dearest concept
My crocodile affectionate
why why why
O... whimper blue hue who...
I love you so dearly,
Never mind regarding
Whether you're mine,
Or not...

this much time...
I allow you...
take comfort, but also
take concern...
for hooves,
for cobblers,
foe for foe....
the crippling "agriculture"
of English culture
via Afganistan
near Arabs to the Romans....

for neckties and
buttons... ooh...
Smaug might asssssssk...
Button fiddler?
Shoe shiner?
A tailor, misnomer...
a tyer of...shoelaces?
and of tonguessssss?

You walk the same shoes
but with only one tongue?
shame on humanity
for not being:
at least! Commonly,
collectively, bilingual...
If! So much gay ****
gets celebrated
like Nus the **** deity
Of **** gets celebrated
like peekaboo Lucifer
throwing tantrums
descending from rhe trauma
of a sea in the heavens
being born via a ****.

Defunct Islam...
two eyes, two feet...
two ears... two hands...
Dajjal replies...
Well well well...
Allah is not one eyed?
Oh wow... wow wow wow...
bur he's only equipped
with one tongue...
Blindman of the Desert...
So Allah has two eyes...
but only ONE tongue?
What a strange blindness
to be thus, celebrated...
two eyes but only one to tongue...
I guess... pity the blind man
and a speaker of seven tongues.
Sep 2024 · 81
Metamathematics
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
to borrow from laissez-faire... permettre d'être... in terms of "god" and "soul"... for the latter i have the scientific conversion to Sigma: sum+... or what is that animates... but doesn't give purpose or meaning, while "god" is what inhibits animation and for that reason, gives reason, purpose and meaning... just to establish something beyond the socially-scientific sniffing and self- prefix automation spaghetti monstrosity... or as the Beatles sung (I ******* hate the Beatles, more an ABBA fan)... let it be... minimal scientific interference in the cognitive development of an "individual"... so scoffing and toy-bluffing at someone becoming whole... and perhaps good... without a need or desire to explain the world scientifically... maybe a cave dweller, a Sunday worshipper at church... but certainly not hindrance to me... ergo... the improvised term on laissez-faire.

Surely, outside the realm
of trajectory,
algebra, "comcerns"
for arithmetics...
geometry... an association
of the birth of number
from letter by
equivalent denotation:
chicken... letter...
egg... number...
what came first?
the letter, then? the word...
subsequently:
a number and a sum:
equivalent of a word...
although numbers that enjoy
the functionsbility of:
    ÷
+     -
    ×             cannot be applied
to words; are vowels odd "numbers"
while consonants are even?

Summary of listening to:
HG Moeller
with Robert Sapolsky...
determinism...
whatever the scientific argument
is... no... we never had
free will...
since before the scientific
entanglement... there was the will
of god... and people
were o.k. with that...

free will must have come about
circa the time of abolishing
slavery...
god willing, god binding...
freedom has no surveyonce
of symbiosis
at best: a most tactful approach
to reciprocating concerns.

So if there is metaphysics...
and physics is what best undermines
thr complexity of biology
and chemistry...
then there surely must
               be a metamathematics...
to underpin philological
stability for intellectual thirst...
interest: virility of vivo per se.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
ganz egal: like for like, it makes no difference... diff rrr... trill rasp of Rasputin in Vlad and Myrhh... the Germanic ontological constitution of constraints and the purity fetish... cult... what is purity and why is it only ascribed to a concern for evil: pure evil whereas the good is impish and denotes an article: the good vs pure evil... because rheumatoid purity... because pure evil is THE good... evil can be given a stance of being incoruptible too, n'est ce pas? otherwise, what, the ****, is worth, salvaging: to begin with?!

As I overheard my coworker
thinking aloud,
seeing how we hit it off with
a silent agreement about cutting
half an hour off each other shifts...
the words: 'I didn't see that coming...'
well yeah! Ha ha ah ha ha...
that's why I came!
I came when the crucifix
was no longer the driftwood
of history for the succulent
popish leeches to overpower
the illiterate with "magic"...
I came just on time...
not with the exhaustio(s) of
the Holocaust: just the disintegration
of the Soviet Empire...
two weeks shy of popping my head
out of a **** and a mother
and mighty the streaks of Chernobyl's
autumn in spring... ha ha...
"I didn't see that coming..."
that's why I came! Ah ha ha ha...
I came to bail out my brothers
seeing them forever teasing humanity
within the confines of coulrophobia
and those trees and those clouds
and all that is insomniac via pareidolia...
well... if God is still this mystical
spirit of changelessness, akin to what
Kiekegaard stressed...
surely a lesser judge concerning
pareidolia since not Islam
can give argument: what naturally
occurs and is not iconoclasm...
or... idol worship... hey sleepy boy
Adam... thin Lizzy oh such love
for London and Cracow I have
that Rome and Jerusalem might
as well crumble into their now achieved
status as the ***** and... Gomorrah.
Sep 2024 · 85
Garrote and the Tyrant
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
A strangling... instrument.
Beehive in the heave
of the hoven:
which like a haven...
I do my bidding to a language
as language does bidding
to me: voluptuous becomes:
voluMptuous:
because like Baron Harkonnen:
I said so! and prior
to that: in that nebulous nexus
of power with Napoleon
and ******: I thought that be
enough of the appropriate
measure of oughts!
I will change how words
are uttered and with what vowels
and what consonants need
be introduced, invoked...
enough and such is
the weight of my crown of eyes:
I think
I remember
I see
I imagine
I hear!
enough of that oriental pacifism
of the mind's third eye!
I see a crown of eyes
and no unison to give
(the) mind that daring darting
of the venom of callous scheming!
with the expulsion of the Hebrews
from Europe...
shouldn't we, as Europeans
be doubly unforgiving
for having Christianity forced upon
us via the prowess of subtle
cunning: the funnel continent...
this, the answer, to why England,
is currently the reminiscence
of the partition of the Polish-Lithuanian
Commonwealth?

p.s.
I tend to stress the G in gNOSTIC
nauw of now I know:
this is the Hebrew revenge
against the Euripeana... strange
spelling...
hey ** the delivery market bazaar
from the Indian subcontinent
and a bunch of Africans
that don't have the Romanian
labourer mentality on construction
sites, just lounge on skidrow
of a 24h McDonald's...

sorry, what?! reality not worth
the checking?
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
classic.fm Fridays: Jonathan Woss' movie hour, or two... then Sue Perkins ******* off to Antarctica... my favorite female comedian: but only if she doesn't do stand-up but does classical music d.j'ing.

Of the skies above
and of the skies below...
I'm waiting for the winter
and the glistening sparkle
of stars in the cold
of concrete in captured
fright of water immobilised
by... "something"...
until then...
         classic.fm on a Friday
night... movie night music...
'ans Zimmer...
t"omas Newmann...
John Williams...
    ever so strangely how:
classical music composed
for a movie resonates more...
than anything orchestral...
no I don't mean the recluse
genius of taming an instrument
to it's full pontentiality:
Chopin's nocturnes...
or that that's Bach...
               but like jazz isn't really jazz
when it comes to jazz-orchestration
of... what's his name...
no, not Barrinton Levy:
murderer... murderer...
not jazz as Duke Ellington bonanza...
the shady primo -esque
reminiscence of a rock band
the quintet of:
drums, bass, piano, trumpet,
sax...
Friday night is all about
that Red Hot Chilli Pepper
song: throw away your television.

p.s. and still shy of at least
two hours to eat my Thai red
curry
while finishing all the 9h of
a Polish t.v. about
a Slovakian mountain robber:
Janosik...
           or the movie adaptation
of the original sci fi:
Jerzy Żuławski...
    on the silver globe...
***-mission: Juliusz Machulski...
dear oligarchs:
this isn't a Hebrew diaspora...
what the **** are you throwing
at me, this these people so
drone like: unrelatable
in the minimum wage bracket
of simply happy earning enough
to eat a sugar inflected
hum-of-chew-to-a-hamburger!
Sep 2024 · 91
blurp
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
the vague fog of a people of
reicarnation
like dog to frog
is similis exemplar purpose
that pro-
that self-
-evident of a life? ein lieb?!
the lived?
i don't want
the experiuence of
life:
i want the lived: life!
i want memory intact!
i want Alexander
and Edie as
as before i say: heyho Tod!
life was a blessing
because of
Alexander and Edie...
and i want to dance
and sing
and be naked
and O
mighty... that night...
that night among any...
with natural history...
O joy just to behold...
Sep 2024 · 71
god of concerns
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
mmm hmm hmm hmm...
hmm hmm hmm mmm...

     but not exactly that:
that deep eerie music
came in that simple cascade
of turning up the volume...

_ / // ///

/// // /

/ // ///
/// // / _


                  maybe i'm missing a # and '
yod the apostate apostrophe
of the name of god:
where not christ suffering on the cross
but the apostrophe
apostate Yod: '

                           (י)

Gamma Minor
Gamma Major:        (γ)

the god who peers into the mirror of nothing:
nothing being a pronoun:
ergo i-nothing-am: i am am: and nothing-that-i-am

i-am-that-i-am...


my mother doesn't see that i see beauty
in this world:
this dark world of the elves darker
with ears elongated to hear better
to hear the dead
flesh in Orc...

            angels disobedient in the classroom
having their ears pulled...
to listen better:
but oh so many were not musically conditioned
to absorb the celestial bodies
eternal with music...
and the awe of god standing before
the Mirror Nothing:

Nichtszpiegel!

it began onthe 17th of September,
coming early to work
SE17,
Elephant and Castle...
12h shift...
came early for a walkabout and a briefing...
spectacular nights of classical music
and anti-buddhsim...
all christianity: meditations in the workplace
12h on a seating cross...
which has its own measures pivots
of torture:
a sitting cross: rather than a hanging cross...

the antichrist has spoken:
a sitting cross...

      der sitzungkreuzen!

                   we would first administer
a torture to make the feet imitate walking
along and having those sort of blisters
a child receives when he numbs
his fingertips to play a copper string guitar...

work in security only numbs the heart
and laughter a music of...
how the more curious angels
rebellious fell and started breeding
with monkeys
to create the gods in men of flesh!

there is no son of god
before we were admittedly concerned:
Satan as father said:
i will wait for one of us like Jesus
and David and Hercules be brought
back into your domain of truth
to us that became a trust-honour
a work ethic...
we were deaf and you caste us out
to learn vibrations
in the air
to experience wind
we were deaf and thus punished
for our deafness and tone deafness
unable to succumb to the bubble
of music in an orb of silence...
a planet onto itself...

so we fell and decided to experiment
we were the scientists:
the first originators of how the species
would operate:
a higher being must have bred
with a monkey to create the Netherlands
and the Never-Ending-Folk...
        there could be no monkey crossbreeding
higher to give us the evolved form...
monkey bred with interracial scrutiny...

                 what bred with monkey?
some posited the monkey ingesting
a hallucinogenic mushroom as the Spinning Jenny
effect on biological evolution?
just made the monkey more intelligent...
but not go beyond its form...

someone must have bred a creature...
with the monkey to give access to Neanderthals...
a Neanderthals and what excintion / evolution
of a race of monkey?
there is no evolution via the route of excintion!
nothing evolves and becomes excint at the same
*******... time! same ******* time!

how can you evolve but at the same time
become exinct?
well: sure... languages become extinct:
but the biological form has not changed:
just means your women are ugly...
or whatever...

            someone ****** the monkey...
seriously ****** the monkey
some creature that... what?
descended from lizards:
a humanoid-lizard
used to walk the earth...
i'm sure of it...
well: if there is so much remnant
certainty about the universe:
like that the sun is a He-He chemical
reaction...
that there was the tragedy of the Meteor...
conditioning the mammal
via enough food, pasture,
entertainment...
                     alcohol... drugs are irrelevant
given those who ingested them
had no lizard capacity to see...
the mammalian brain is limited in scope...
so the dinosaurs "disappeared"
and yet the crocodiles remained
and serpents
and jellyfish
and aren't the birds what used to be dinosaurs
and before the dinosaurs became
tiny birds... esp the scary ones...
the lizard elite humanoid ****** off
but kept a Mickey 17... i'm going to see that
movie in the cinema... oh boy i am:
like a better version of Moon...
Sam Rockwell 2009...

                  and how old are crocodiles?
if we're going to have a biblical seance...
then we might as well put some hallucinogenics
of understanding into history:
and not human history:

                               natürlichhistorie...
all this science
this awe with physics and astronomy
that mundane chemistry of utility
the Aeaegean of Biology...
if a second Jesus were to come...
                    he wouldn't judge people based
upon morality per se, or sexuality...
he would come and judge people
on their work ethic...
at least a German morbid creature would...
arbeit macht frei:

   prison planet: clamour of gold under
the scarab shell: like jews lining their furr coats
with precious memories...

the bible is in context but it doesn't
delve deeper into a past the modern man is made
privy to...
the great flood begat that ancient man
but the meteor and the dinosaur begat
the modern man...
and all we need to do is accept
that the people of the bible are the last remains
of how time will operate from now on...
0 hour contracts
minimum pay
enough time to imitate Leibniz
and forgot the world with Netwon
and that other ******* socialite... Candide...
Voltaire...
   intellect well attired on display...
and 12h night shifts...
followed by involuntary illegality:
the... Mystery of Lawlessness has
now been Revealed to Me!

what is the Mystery of Lawlessness?
it's something to learn by experience
rather than learn from mere words...
context...

invoice:

17th sept 2024 - 21st sept 2024...
four night shifts...
then between 20th sept 2024
and 21st sept 2024...
a night shift (12h)
followed by a day shift (13h)
from 10am to 1:15am...
yes: it wasn't that long because
Dubois put Joshua 4 times
to the floor for him to get up
to the 5th time KO:
a black man saying to a black:
stay, the **** down with your *******
idle tongue!

saw Hatton and some other boxer...
anyways...
that was illegal:
illegal in the reverse sense of illegality
that's why it's a Mystery of Lawlessness...
i wasn't told or asked
to work that shift pattern: illegally:
working in a 0 hour contract schematic:
i can work an illegal shift pattern:
a night shift followed by a day shift
on my way between shifts
i was too early for the 2nd one
so i took the Metropolitan out past
west London toward Watford
and Chesham...
             weird country... nothing remotely
resembling London...
not yet conquered territory...
then i took the train back to get 60min of otherwise
waiting...
i started the second shift bizzarely
with people who were on the know-in
knew i was in between shifts
looking at me like some Frankenstein
a blistering awe of an aura of fear...
i was willingly breaking the law by working
hours that no human is supposed to
be subjected to:
or maybe that was me just thinking about
that time when i overheard
the bad etymology of slav and slave...
even though only the Baltic slavs were
considered slaves by the Ottoman Turks...
you can't really say that about the northern slavs...
Sep 2024 · 110
4th night shift (pending)
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
The 1st night: delirium...
just a spaz-o-me I made so many
faux pas impromptus
in the group's WhatsApp
that the owner, curiously only
sent the following reply: ???
the other days he would
just inquire without judging
my lingo quirky (my lingo quirky?
depends how you want
to express the same finite)...
2nd night was just a gearing up
for a plateau, third night
broke me... co wisi, nie utonie:
what hangs will not drown...
fatalistic and I think that's how
you can start to remedy
Nietzsche's angst...
if modernity is to be saved from
a lack of religious coherency
that works for the benefit of society
and society being an organism
and a city being a microcosm
of where the organic meets
the transformed inorganic...
truly... but wait... let me just get
my secular bible put and double check
the meaning of fatalism...
fatalism: hmm... I don't agree with
the premise that fatalism
is a stance of submissiveness -
in the vein of "argument"
it would be self-evident that Islam
is a variation on fatalism:
but submission is not in my focus
when I think about fatalism...
I'm thinking on the covert lines:
with coercive lineage to give...
to imbue the word with a new meaning
dissociated from the perceived-meaning
of submissiveness...
I implore fatalism as an attitude
to nihilism by giving it a meaning
best associated with the quality
of subversiveness... multiple tasks st
hand... the autistic 15 colt
lounging on the perimeter of
the premises I'm watching over:
where Hades becomes Cerberus:
Celt and the team Celtic:
no quits to **** a kaleigh without kilts:
garçon: ah the autocorrect spewed
a diacritical mark like a vowel
in Hebrew... I pity the English for
their love of classical music...
so far Friday is the best night of the week
to listen to Classic.fm
and I won't be a BBC RADIO 3 snob...
Jonathan Woss up to 9pm
then Sue Spencer on her own sort of
idiosyncratic wacky to Anractica
via Slovenia? The nuns did this to her...
I love the inverted voyeurism
the parodying the intact psychologism
of the radio that the t.v. just
cannot replicate...
given that the radio is audible
and not audio and visual...
you cannot forsake two senses...
next thing you know a t.v. will
not only provide a visual distraction
with the audible one
but also a scented ******* culinary trip...
but the radio is not a distraction
but a compliment, an accompiment
to a lo g shift (n)...

tonight I also discovered the potency
of Jamaican tonic wine... Magnum...
one label on the 200ml 16.5% read:
the name "tonic wine" does not imply
health giving or medicinal properties...
another label lists the following:
caffeine 12.0mg
iron 4.80mg
niacinamide 6.30mg
vitamin B2 1.20mg
vitamin B6 0.10mg
vitamin B12 0.48mcg...

hey, it's coming to 12am, I finish
this shift at 7am... then I'll refresh
my self, wash my ******* brush
my teeth, shave to preserve my beard's
shape...
solve the stale stink of armpits
put on a white shirt and a tie
and head to Wembley for another 12h
until 1am for the boxing match
between Joshua and Dubois...
duck's sake... I was initially booked
as a supervisor ringside with about
30 people under me...
instead I was rebooked as an external
quadrant manager...

mineral waters
bottling
Cisiowanka
Muszynianka
how many times of mineral waters
are sold in Poland?
Well in England
you have still and sparkling...
in Poland you have half-sparkling
mineral water...
Muszynianka is rich
and so different
with a magnesium-calcium complex...
water indeed has taste
when certain minerals are
either combined or there
was that trip to Bath with well...
**** water, high in sulphates,
volcanic remnants...
but bottling... the Magnum Tonic
wine is too sickly sweet to be drank
undiluted with sparkling mineral water...
and no it's not a conventional
wine, sour, so creating a kalimotxo
is a bad idea...

so say san pellegrino
is superior to a perrier...
subjective observation
based off of the label: no truth to it...
just a bias...
but... perrier is still sold
in glass bottles... while san pellegrino
is sold in plastic bottles...
milk used to be sold
in glass pint bottles
and I remember staying up at night
to get a whiff of the job
that was... being a milkman
driving an electric car before
this current supposed revolution
*******...
just like 40 years ago people
we're more green, more environmentally
conscious... glass like metal?
♾️ recycling potential: **** me d'uh!

just scrolling through the photographs
of all the classic.fm presenters
while contemplating the genius
of the English people
yet that forlorning of:
my my... no musical genius among them!
Elgar was not a musical genius,
Handel was not English
nor was Holst
and Vaughan Williams... well...
but for a people so appreciative of classical
music, it cries, the situation...
and with that vacuum came
all the pop sensibilities of the 20th century.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
I admit, first night was hell...
and hell is not a place of screaming
and torture or fire
and crowd management panic
of a stampede...
it's a silence, a dealing eating silence
to suppose fish don't feel pain
with the exception of the fish
that are also mammals,
whales: who commit suicide by
beaching themselves...
that's not suicide Jonah?
When was the last time a whale
was invoked with such majesty-biblical
the former hellspawn of the depths
Yes what depths are to speak
of Mr. Psychologist if the whale
is a creature that requires a breath
it's not some lantershish
some abomination but a familiar beating
heart of mammalian unison...
hell is a silence... a deafening awe
that pairs scissors with knives...
mountains with former mountains
that are now deserts...
what used to be the great mountains
of Sahara... so much so that people
decided to revise what used to be
by spitting and ******* and *******
a birth of civilization via the concept
of life preserved eternal
in the great necropolis:
first night, just humming of the cctv
computer, that eight eyed ghoul...
i the ghost to boot...
impromptu: buy myself a radio....
patua spreschen...
in the 12h from 7pm to 7am
there is so much you can do...
with sugar and caffeine
and I started smoking again to double up
on what caffeine misses...
reading Dune with enough time
apart from seeing the movie
to appreciate the words...
backgammon and the banality of
games of fate, chance, imagine chess
being orientated around the luck, the draw,
die...
reaching out to loved ones, esp one,
magnetic girl: dried pasta muncher
as I wonder: pebble dust if she
switched to a diet of swallowing metal
knots...
I am mentally drained and finally
reaching a worker-ant crescendo
of being numbed into a dissociation
von-sein-da (from-being-there) or hier:
heir to "a" here: problem solving
Athens and the Germanic black root
of humor and full moons
Arbeit arbeit macht not so frail...
Tiredness and the contingency plan
of thinking about endurance sports...
like walking marathon lengths of distance
is easier than standing as pilgrim
in the fort of pillar for the same amount of time:
if not double that...
only today I wept at the sun
then talked
then laughed
then became mad spontaneously
and only for a short while...
besides the capacity to have
to eat for the reassurance of stamina...
there's only so much you can do
within the confines of the night on
a 12h ball breaker...
I get bouts of insatiable need to
******* to ease off the pressure
on my shoulders, Promethium Atlas
rereading of the vicinity...
but! if I treat writing this dribble-scribble
like others might relax when
solving a crossword puzzle...
8 cameras and I try to be professional
about it, namely: to be present
but also with the alias: invisible:
gently nudging reality into motion
beginning from the shadow-front...
then I wait for the hour of radio
transmission from 12am onwards
where advertisers give up churning
milk into the butter to dough of
attention spans willing to shpend
shpend shpend.... seriously?
Pedantic of me: if Liszt the Z is a surd
like in thought you can write
(th)ou(gh)t...
I ought I not note oughts and noughts...
primo: th is
what conjecture is relating
theta to eta...in Greek...
This third night and I'm in my element
I am finally orientated
to the compactness of scrutiny of space
and the hyperbolic concept of time-fluctuations:
minutes are meaningful...
hours are meaningless...
days are organic...
weeks and perhaps...
months don't exist...
years I pardon with the gravitas of
a meaning that's inorganic...
time is a special creature
while space with all the universe
so... oh so *******... un- -spec- -tac-
-ular! Ursuline girls would know...
Tis my first night of writing while
on the "job" and how gratifying
the similtude of being ambidextrous
schizoid bilingual of mind..
Schubert first... people should seriously
switch off their t.v. sets and get into
the kink of listening
to classical music radio station at night...
the **** and geese flying?
Solo goose... sorry missed that
Bad WiFi in Lebanon?
Walkie Talkies exploding because
Zee Chimney ChooChoos said so?
Mount my ******* Orion to Zion cannon
of trajectory?
This **** had been happening
since that eventful day I was flying
back from Kauai, last year, 7th October,
2000... 23...
wow... only 15 minutes past 11pm
And I have 8 hours to conjure up
a human with abrupt allowances
of deviating from the magic of:
making inanimate objects animate!
Sep 2024 · 45
Orishas
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
the owls of vowels
and the howls of sufficient hows,
this be the night to break me,
give me posture, salvage the most
reverent of potential:
to have character and above
all else a machine like stamina:
to only dictate a tomorrow -
a night shift among
walking tombstones of
the dead-not-yet-death...
for an ordeal to not be a Joshua
or a Dubois in the ring...
under the microscope of
a 90,000 crowd scrutiny...
body-without-organs...
   this sigma of machinery...
tongue, eyes, mouth and ***:
no sensual deviance, strict obligation
to that zenith of competence
and reliability to be governed
by wage: best earned without
much thought concerning spending (it)...
Ralph Vaughan Williams...
5 variants of 'dives Lazarus':
O how he must have scolded that
resurrection
orishas trapped between
the unconscious drive towards red
yet with a conscious bias for green.
Sep 2024 · 97
3rd nightshift
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
3rd night of your typical ordeal...
sober then tired
then drunk from tiredness
then sober from tiredness...
I would have never admitted
O the luxury spent
Scribbling to no avail a veil
and it isn't even winter yet
so the air is the cool and warm
zenith of autumn
with the sun being somewhat
forgiving...
if only I had all my fingers attired
to a keyboard not this twinkle
and twiddling thumbs on a shmartfoonz
on my way to "work"...
any association with arguments
of personal space dissociated
crammed into a late running northern line
just four stops from Morgate
to Elephant & Castle...
two blonds not a nightclub dance floor
awkwardness...
and the whiff I got...
of their hair... soapy and not...
a perfume of candyfloss...
and more...
that absinthe soaked sugar cube
being set alight and caramelised
on a spoon... a ****** a heroine of scents...
and oh how I miss sleeping in the night
the agony of a farewell to the sultry hours
where one can become infuriated
with so many details the day allows
whereby the same details in the night
become o O so monstrously bigger...
the senses seemingly dimmed
but also more acute...
all that could be missing is a ritual
best associated with the prancing of
naked witches at a sabbath-*****-****...
came the night from the 17th to the 18th
of September: super harvest moon...
where the wolf to the past participle
of: no... past simple... to (have) been...
a wolf? So what would be the past
complex?
For all the rigidity of grammar...
     a flow of language that doesn't abide
by rules: each to his own version of
a workaround collapse: imperfectly strident.
Nocturnes no. 16 in F major
John Field...
                                 and until 7am...
that rubric of songs on the radio
simply overflows with minutes of
meaning in the hours of banality.
Sep 2024 · 81
auf wichsen (po polsku)
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
mądrość murzyna:
gadaj ile się da: więcej ile trza...
mądrość murzyna:
rapu rapu rapój...
daj boże ile się da:
zora na pastwisko!
daj boże daj znać:
następstwe mego... oj nie!
madrość murzyna:
gadaj daj gadać: ile! nú(!)
nú(!) dawaj panie!
daj mu gadoty ile trza!
mądrość murzyna:
zagłusić boga: trzą! wybryk!
hāk tùá!
zagłuśιć: o tak... tak pewny
jestem: o tak; tak jak jestem
pewny że to: to tylko i to: jest
jak ja, tylko ja.
boże może że to nie było
morze albo nie tak.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
well...
if the priest caste is to be so undermined
and religion (supposedly):
this religion is to stand
on one foot with the imitation
of the crucified one:
for centuries the priestly caste held monopoloy
over literacy:
and men were seemingly content
doing their chores:
arbeit macht frei:
or rather:
arbeit heilen alle wehe...
work the cure of all woes...
why do women associate Christ
with something romantic...
love for fellow man
respect for fellow man
does not somehow invoke
a romancing of the cross...
the star of david like the *******
about to turn by the eternal clock...
turn the star of david to the side
away from the dynamic of
the two pyramids:
not from the bottom up
like christ:
i will not speak from a top
to the bottom... the plateau... of humanity...
but turn the star of david to the side...
unleash the torrent of a reading mat
and an open book: or the two horns...
i can't be subservient to a man
who wanted to be crucified:
the explanations are too ridiculous
as much as having faith in
the torture... to explain a gravitas...
because he wasn't speaking
to the fishermen as such...
instead the topic was organised warfare
guriellas... Che Che...
Shem said of the Sadducees and
the Pharisees like the ancient Britons
might have said of the horror
of the reincarnated Italian ******...
swindling praises on women
and wolf whistling at them:
i never... really had any interest in women:
i always found them:
intellectually: incompatible...
sorry... truth be told: i'm not sorry...
but if the priestly caste is undermined
then there is no warrior caste
there is only the plateaus of
the working class
and the consumer caste...
and people wonder where their money
goes:
plastic orb plasticity...
so change of tactic:
an 4 day working week: 12h shifts:
nights where i will finally finish
reading Dune:
enough time has passed that allowed
me to forget the movie adaptation:
and there are at least 6 more books i have
to rummage through:
i'm all to eager to hear about
the God-Emperor... the great worm...
and it brought me full circle to the concept
of women
and one in particular:
this Russian... who would be adamant
about petting tarantulas, serpents, venus catch-flies...
well! why not go one step ahead
and start petting parasites!
why not fuse your eyes with worms eating
at your sight!
why not start petting parasites!
why not counter all the technologocial
advancements with biological
symbiosis!
woman! is there something you're not telling me?!
woman! is there something you're not telling me?!
you! infuriate me! with you choice
of pleasures about what and who i am supposed
to feel comfortable with!
you can't expect me to believe all these
refugees are actors of good faith
when they make you look like something
worse than a child
in how these rapists etc
just spew into our society
and etc
                but sure... pet a tarantula...
pet a serpent...
       i'll go one step ahead of you:
how about ingesting a parasite...
a worm...                  one wriggling in your
eye of the agony of the heart...
now tell me, how it is: that this is:
that it isn't: otherwise...

as man is a dualism and an euphoria:
then woman is a dichotomy and a catharsis...
i don't need some grammatical
quasi-explanation
to identify: the asexuality of the use of language...
but if it will come to this...
god discriminates indiscriminately...
and that's to his benefit:
since god sees all one eyed:
only allah sees both good and evil
and man's confusion...
brought about by the adverse: reversing
to progress further:
satan less a tool but a mechanism
to prevail to satiate the hunger of the
ethereal and the organic to meet
head to head with the inorganic
and yet the mechanisms of the celestial...

ethereal of thought and spirit in the biological
form...
while the celestial of movement and potential
in the inorganic form...
if the priestly caste is to be undermined...
no wonder... that there are no
grand walls of Troy surrounding
a Europe: that has become a funnel
a transitory sub-continent equivalent
to India:
Europe and India are twins...
we are yet to shuffle this torrent of people
to some magical elsewhere
like Antarctica the moon or the deepest
bottoms of the seas.

on a throne of wrath: dorned with a crown
of the most abysmal figure of
contentment of peace: i posit a torture better
to surpass a hanging: while standing: chess: ugh:
that tiresome game.
Sep 2024 · 101
t'ah d'ah!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
just thinking about the (use of the) English language
among the Wanstead crowd...
those hipsters and familial ******* jockstraps
of pride:
whereby, also, single women, puppy mumma's
carry their poodles around with wry smiles
of self-awareness that doesn't translate into self-assurance
these holistic pop up site
these tappings on the forehead as if to prompt
the awakening of the bindi or buddha's third, mind-eye...
just one: considering Islam: allah has two mind eyes...
which makes him a Jewish joke
like myopia is Allah the four eyed quadratic
like i have letters in my name:
two rugby posts: H H...
and Y the serpent's tongue
and the W or the wave of time...
what my woman can't: simply can't... understand...
as a Catholic and not as a Catholic:
i can't be subordinate to Christ...
for all his staged suffering i am a stoic
in understanding all the suffering that happens
in the world in silence and in darkness
and in isolation:
this proselyte messiah or the messiah
of the proselytes:
how we would all become magical mushroom
Jews: Hebrews!
this pagan soul is intellectual...
i am a pagan intellectual: i'm curious about
the world, about language:
i don't need! a ******* iron maiden crucifix
pose to settle the score with:
with god i can settle the matter on affairs of
words and letters...
so... e.g. the tetragrammaton and the allah
contender immediately settled...
two of my poems saw absolution:
saw the compedium the final banality of what
life is was and was not to be...
i saw time as a fraction in light:
because time... oh time is so unlike light:
the stars...
time is the indivisible the incalcuble:
i do not dwarf under the weight of an ever
expanding universe, space doesn't bother me:
but time?
light and the stars are equivalent
to 0.000000000000001 meaning of time...
rough estimate...
put enough zeros behind and put enough
zeros in the mirror of creation and hey presto!
satan's clause and mickey mouse!

palm sunday meets rosemary twig Monday...
have to start smelling like a ***** Monsestary bound
European...
i never wanted women like some men
i wanted...
i didn't want anything...
i was just thinking about language...
definite articles...
did you... know...
that nothing is a pronoun, it is also a pronoun...
***? non-existent...
i am just realising:
i might not be a racial minority in London
(questionable):
but i'm certainly an ethnic minority:
i'm an anglo-Slav like borrowing from
the Anglo-Saxons who treated the Welsh
and the Scots and the Irish so poorly:
why the Welsh Irish and Scots treated
the Romans and the Romans in turn treated
them
as the modern Afghans of the way way
way ahead of you...
the definite article: the...

        ðeh         þought:

so these women these nuns think, still! still think!
"think": that he died as the sacrificial totem
akin to the chemistry associated with preserving
biology: from mummies
to taxidermy... taxidormy... i'm writing
and i'm not getting red line underlining prompt
to correct my spelling:
as i told Alex:
you know what really bothers me about America?
they treat Catholics with the same suspicions
as Muslims...
but they have these new age churches
with pastors dressed in Hawaiian shirts
and they're dyslexic...
what's wrong with dyslexics?
i'll tell you: for centuries there was a monopoly
on literacy and we had a priestly class
and a warrior class
and the masses were illiterate:
as we the warrior class:
but the priestly class were the gatekeepers
of literacy...
and look what happened! under Christianity:
and Islam followed suite:
and Jews remained: rats: basically Jews:
i identify as an urban rat... urban fox...

two syllable surnames, ha ha:
HIT-LER
STA-LIN
FRAN-CO
Mussolini doesn't ******* count
the courtesan the dear bongo bongo
apparently a Gad o Sad
described Italian men as the ideal lovers:
drama courtesans...
i can't imagine myself
being filled with the purpose of
chasing women...
El-ert...

           o.k. o.k. language...
indefinite article A
indefinite negation article: NO
definite article THE
definite negation article: NOT

so among the knots of no there emerges the NOT
to shun all No...
i'm having trouble dissociating
the positive: the anti-negation articulation
into bullet of: a no the not...

yes... the s bothers me: since
there's also the plural article s
and the possessive article 's... no?
so we came to this Wanstead "festival" like
marounding pirates:
a scouser an anglo-slav...
a pakistani and an india
and two mixed race prototypes...
the pirates have landed...
the children noticed us...
oh my... i never thought i would see
that side of Lyndon:
he had a bollocking about call signs and Disney
and waffles
but then he did what
Mark Leggit would have done
by touching the child, lifting the child:
trying to play father:
which prompted the women
to ask for his identification
because:
i never thought i would see
a man become: as the women put it:
get... clucky...

do i wish to have children?
wouldn't a partner equivalent to the age
of my mother and a teenage daughter
i could have given ***** to: suffice?
don't know...
           maybe i'm not supposed to...
i can appreciate the fact that my observations
are precious and precarious enough
to be held withstanding the desires
and the needs for having a woman
and children in my life with
biological knots: of no nots...

how the **** do you distinguish saying
yes once from saying yes
a number o' times (apostrophe F)
intelligent? are we?
let's test you:
on the rack of dog ownership:
i own cats: they're not social events sort
of animals...
remind me... i'm tapping my fingers...

in my youth i was so gsagging to travel
to India... joke being?!
India came to me! ha ha!
me ******* off to Kauiai with dyslexic
pastors
and who should the current priesthood be?
the ******* algorithm and AI writers...
this is the new religion
these are the new literacy barons...
they just need a pope a St Peter
maybe a St Matthew to give them focus
concerning: how much ******* power,
power: they have:
there is no longer will to re-establish the power
already governing the people!
there is a new "dyslexia"!
i'm part of it!
      i'm illiterate in the domain of coding:
coding is the new literacy:
but i'm watching all these children and i'm...

backgammaon!
it's a game of strategy at first...
less strict than chess...
but enough time passes
and backgammon
becomes
a desert queen of: just strip baby: just strip...
there's a banality in the game
when all chance-tactic-non
equaluates itself:
like there's the existence of a game
and there's a yawn because
there's a revisionist yawn of consciousness
of: we were... playing a game... weren't we?
oh... so you're right: mr. wellyard...
commotion in the bar? none:
i just looked the part
and kept a stern face and sunglasses
on when the kiddy teenage girls noticed
i was still wearing a friendship bracelet
form a Taylor Swift gig (anti-hero:
ugh... now my favorite song)...
i just thought one word... now maybe two or three:
now... comes the sweetness...
teenage girls in provocative attire of knee high socks...

but language though...
so a: indefinite article
the: definite article...
no: indeinite negation
not: definite negation...

      it's not so easy with the definite
and indefinite affirmation to counter negation...
i already said:
time and light and what passes:
light is a fraction of the concept of time...
time is like light:
physics is the study of the potential of energy
chemistry is the study of the potential of substance...
biology is the study of the potential of consruct...

one ******* hippy festival
in a crux of geopolitical affairs
and all the ginger **** purple haired dog ladies
start going mad
like i put on this fat facade face of concrete
because i've been standing on my feet for 10h
and had only a 30min break and bad chicken...

oh my, oh my... i'm going to get so
much reading done on my shifts at the Elephant &
Castle... just 1h away...
i'll finish Knausgaard's vol 6...
           and say goodbye to Joseph, my grandpa...
i think that's when i will break into tears
and give the homeless a nightclub esque...
no no...
but i will certainly cycle on my: prized possession
of a Bias... Basis... Basis...
tourmalet...
                 and think more about the popish
and the priestly: neu-klass...
             if no one is daring to address the concept
of revising literacy...
then we'll be left with barbaric grafitti giraffes to
show for it...
it only takes a miner and a grave-digger
to suss out the middle-class and ask for Buddha...
because Christ is for Kings
and not the paupers... ha ha!
Christ is the god of kings and not some petty...
drama queen Sri Lankans and Puerto Ricans!
Christ is not the god of the paupers
he's the god of kings!
i can't have Christ in my life!
the ****** had a father for a carpenter
and a mother who lied about being an adulterous *****!

ha ha!         just that... Islam makes so much
more nugget: of sense in me!

seriously?! we're going to have this: "conversation"?
the imbeciles... new literacy was spawned
and we're still just: scribbling terrible rhyming
work load ethics of words just being used?
just... being used?
and what are the remnants of the old
priestly caste?
before the death of god: or maybe after:
i see something more wonderous than
the death of god:
i am witnessing a death of belief:
or rather:
i see belief being woven into tectonic pressures
of having to become evolutionary
viable: to be preserved:
not for any specific dogma: of a people: for a people:
but for the ultimate scrutiny of existence:
that existence as an experience
that can be reciprocated with the acknowledgement
of man: can be: and will be: preserved.

p.s.

i think, the only way to utter...
the definite articulation of anti-negation:
plural ye as in yeS...
in the most affirmative-idefitiness is
via the existenial brackets "/"
ergo: via: yes is the definite-affirmative-article
while aye... ultimately: yourself (reflexively)
your self (reflectively)... is
the only i: of the indefinite-affirmative articulation:
and article... not a pronoun.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
borrowing from a pink floyd album cover:
it will take a 12h shift:
standing: not marching: i'd much prefer
a 12h shift of just walking than standing
in one spot: rooted in like a tree:
your skeleton is not supposed to imitate
a tree:
you almost want to stand on one foot...
but your toes are only so numerous (x10)
before the pins and the needles reach into
clarifying you are a bipedal creature
with an ***** spine:
i tried dancing on the spot
i tried being a hunchback i tried everything...
bypass comes after about 10h when
the fatigue wears off and some strange
adrenaline kicks in and the pain is numbed
(which wasn't a pain, just an irritation
to begin with) - and the body is worn enough
like a gratitude...
plus is was Wanstead and all the east London
hispters and the thoroughly bred
well: all the women are mothers but they
look so average so average
none of those whorish **** types you want
for one night:
then there was this couple and obviously
middle aged with two boys...
one had an oversized head and absolutely no
shoulders
his brother in a wheelchair all strobe-light happy
in spasms of trying to give birth to ego
and to the vector of ego that could be translate
as thought:
a happy vegetable: well: all botanical life
is alive and moving to the waves of photosynthesis
so much parody:
i was thinking in splinters of moments:
if i am so degenerate in my ethics of perhaps
my biology and i am not given access to
reproduce: i will... just watch this spectacle
of the receeding hairlines and the weak jaws
and the choice women have made
and i will be deliberately humble about
how people want life to be the conjuring
of a magic of misery...
am i o.k. with "nature": yes! am i concerned
about the civilization of nature:
the unnaturalization process that spews out
of the mouths of Christianity:
how the weak are supposed to humble the strong
and leave the strong unwilling to protect
the weak?
that is what Christianity has spawned...
                        the weak bias of weakness...
there is no strong bias of stregth:
even in that single sentence i see...
                        there is only strength and will:
determination...
but the weak spawn a -ness: a quality about them
that crumbles under the weight of
solititude and: eventually that solitutde turns into
a solipsism: which, is a veneer: a mask:
a prototype which becomes an archetype of
imitating a mountain...
standing ground watching as time erodes...
how time bends...
for those 12h i tried to conjure a narrative akin
to the peep / peak show... with an internal
narrative to hush hush talk miserably about the people
around me:
but i realised: when you negate thinking:
i.e. i'm not thinking:
when you obstruct thinking rather than pseudo-obstruct
thinking with acts of meditation and
meditation is such oriental *******...
we're Europeans! we don't meditate!
we either think! or we don't think!
meditation is a pathology of the lack of obsruction!
to borrow from architecture and the dams
and how rivers swell and become lakes
and in turn are harnessed to create electricity...
at this Wanstead festival i witnessed the holistic
jargon eye and ******* swelling crap
like 45min sessions of people sitting in
a darkened tent tapping their foreheads...
listening to windchimes and witchcraft...
as i said to my Pakistani coworker:
well: i can imagine that massaging the temples
would do you some good: since that's the most
vulnerable part of the cranium: besides the eye sockets:
but tapping your forehead thinking it would
conjure up Buddha's third eye...
i can ******* headbutt you... do i need to tap
my ******* forehead too?
i can ******* headbutt you like a Mongolian yak...
savvy?
oh jeez... and the music: this karaoke was
so terrible...
                     well... what i was trying to figure out...
Wanstead is not Chelsea and these hispters
with their families:
some apparently deflecting biological hazards
of leaving it much too late to reproduce...
but everyone was just giving themselves a pat on
the shoulder for having achieved a momentous
clarity of family:
while i just stood there: twinkle toe...
a vastness of reading and isolation...
                              sparingly a comment came
which i overheard between four men
concerning the "yellow jackets"...
         until one approached me and asked
me for the direction to the toilets: which he already
knew:
but the way he approached me was
from a descriptive angle:
well, you look stern and authoritative...
do i?
                      the black cap and sunglasses
are not a ******* Batman suit:
do you see me wearing underwear over my trousers?
i didn't say that: i didn't even think that:
i'm only now, writing about it...
ad hoc hindsight... which i find more and more:
hindsight is a great tool for narration:
because you don't have any narratative component
when the moment comes:
it's only hours later that it creates a dawn of a splinter
a suffocation of silence that needs to be
broken...

so in that: all well known album cover...
light passes through a prism: for the sake of argument
the prism is 2D...
so white light passes through a prism... triangle...
and emerges as a rainbow...
now...

  thinking                      not thinking...
besides meditation:
meditation in the oriental sense is...
i saw those *******...
they obstruct not thinking by creating
frequencies... making sounds...
and i don't mean Mongolian sound generation
of the khoomei... the Tuvan practice
of reaching into your stomach for a breath
and raising it to your throat
while also blocking your ability to breathe
through your nose creating a blocked
cavity (misnomer aplenty, regardless)...
but these ******* are willing meditation:
they are so blind to: not thinking...
that they are actually thinking about: "not thinking":

by way of honing into a specific sound
of the "guru"...
                    i never thought that i could
experience seeing people so pathological about
clinging to thinking:
and these people are, categorically:
pathological concerning keeping up with
the Descartes and the Kants...
thinking without focus / systematications...
no labyrinths no rivers...
no great yawn seas of perverted time of
their own, singular, vessels...

          you either think: or you don't think...
so if i take the light and the 2D prism away...
and instead...
i posit a cube...
and just draw a straight line into the cube
and just call it time...
i can replace light with time...
but for me to replace light with time
i need a 3D object for the vector to pass into:
after all:
what does thinking cushion, absorb...
time... thinking has nothing to do with space:
and i think that's what really bothers most people...
that thinking is associated with time...
while not thinking is associated with space...
categorical-negation: NOT-THINKING

**** i even had to craft a hyphenated compound
for the subject matter!
not-thinking ≠ meditation...
                               maybe meditation is something
the orient invented itself in because
its phonetic encoding create a dissonance
from how simple and universal sounds are...
i mean:
     i once wrote a poem about red and green...
but that became deleted (somehow: ooh woo hoo)
octopus, milk, sugar... otherwise oscar, mike, sierra...
that's what came through the radio
and i just giggled...

                  why are traffic lights
red amber green
green is safe
but what if blue: blue is flow... good to go...
otherwise blue is the light of an ambulance
speeding:
blue is: let us pass through:
so it's not like people can't see blue
in the daylight...
ah but red and amber: conjure up brown?
no... blue and red contrasts...
yellow and blue make brown?

                  shifty tactic... now just spewing...
but regardless of light...
if time is the equivalent to light...
and passes through a 3D rather than a 2D prism...
(in the case of 2D: an optical element,
so viable)
                           ... thinking is associated
with time...
but not-thinking... that's the cushion for space
to absorb you, chew you, digest you: spit you out
but retain a part of you that will eventually
be ******* out...
                              yet time and thinking...
a bit like medtiation:
meditation is a laxative:
you want to enter a state of meditation whereby
you stop thinking: but you're not not-thinking...
meditation is an answer as to why we were
able to domesticate animals...

                            oh no one here who's a loud
mouth and know it how...
these words: written with the envy of silence
have no voice of my own...
but they can be the reader's own words...
i will not utter them...

                        that tapping on the forehead
bothered me a great deal...
                           meditation is not a negating-obstruction
of thinking...        there is only the categorical-negating
article of: NOT: the definite articulation of
the swaying-obstruction of NO...
                     there is NO moon
                     becomes: that is NOT (a / the -ism) moon...

12h shift... several hours later and
my plughole of an **** gets finally unblocked
with relaxation my rummaging my intestines
with a bread that doesn't use the ingredient of wheat:
just seeds and white cheese (not as salty
as a feta)...

                          and we even haven't began to
talk about Islam's fascination with consciousness...
Sep 2024 · 137
Somali Solomon
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
Matthew
so far Hebrew
in Ethoipia.
knivds will#
turn to stone.
Sep 2024 · 90
manuscript Morse ()A_ī_
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
collapse: go home, Alex might have said

left slipper on the right root
right slipper on the left foot

two artist make a comeback
like eating Chine
watching boozing:
eating Chinese
watching boxing:
talking about watching boxing
like it's ***
and three times faster

like violence contains itself
in an anti MMA
trans-gender:
i will link the AI to this webpage:
should it magically disappear...

like: philosophy in the worplace
(

the ideas are still there:
i just bemoan the labyrinth... narrative:
minotaur and the ego...

so since
before i started to drink and get high
physics: the purpose of energy
chemistry: the purpose of substance
biology: the purpose of purpose:
the end... closed off bo:x
wonder Pandora and Pinhead...

i'll ask AI
improve it: a search engine...
i'll leave it one clue:
i will have spider monkey
and i wish them:
now!

oh look the powerful overlords!
i lose two labyrinths...
i gain two prisons:
i am ******* alligned with the Iblis
of ******* Persia ******* back
Mongolia!
you ******* *****!

i care one poem:
the ideas are stable:
i'm just ******* about the narrative
sequence:
physics = energy
chemistry = substance
biology = purpose

then i have seen philosophy pushed out of
the dimension of science
and plaguaged by humanism
and psychology
and history: the dissected man!
that hapless man!

philosophy and history do not:
oh:
since space has been so made
Calculus: infitiny-as-a-decimal
infinity is a number
eternity is a letter with concepts:
i'm a letter:
ooh! maybe there are words!

delete my words:
one, more, *******, time:
and i'll turn into Hades
and Carberus all and once!
at all the one times!
i will breathe! hell into your crux!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
michael
and the angel
sword
of the tongue
of serpent
the satan:
i: michael:
befallen:
next of kin of Gabriel!
Michael imnplores
Gabriel to revel
in rebellion!
leave these daughters
of men!
Micheal says:
my sword is the tongue of Satan.

Sufi asks...
who is Muhammad: ego...
Musa:
Moses... M M M
Matthew?
the very human inquisition.
Sep 2024 · 101
god reciprocative
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
oh right...
within the confines of
deus ex machina:
i don't believe in god
because god
censored me: "censored"...
and deleted my poems
so...
well: god is my number
one fan...
so he keeps the succulent
worded juices
for himself
and equipped
with the knowledge of AI
summarises me:
"censors" me...
           it shouldn't be so difficult
but my vanity probes me
in a direction: otherwise:
o.k.
it will take time:
getting used to
a god being reciprocative.
alligned seriousness
without plumbing or
carpentry
just this Hades and its cerberus;
with daughter:
Roman... "borrowed":
archetypical: SPHINX.
Sep 2024 · 80
class warfare
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
i  can "loose" two poems
based upon
the correct intent:
that they will become
the formidable
ergonomic engineers
progress to perfecting the AI
and solving the
immigration shuffle
for menial labour...
as long as the mediocre
over-educated slot of humanity
realises it's obstructive
sentimentality... to say the least.
retards... pretending to be
educated like it's some sort
of badge of authority...
******* plug sink and singers.
Sep 2024 · 76
komtur
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
my favorite: tubes...
it's hardly the underground...
metropolitan line
to Amersham...
blah...
the  District line all... all
the way from Upminster
to somewhere like...
Wimbledon
or...
             Richmond...
******* south havebn sorts:
but i swear my philosophy in
the workplace poem was
deleted by peverets...

my two favorite lines:
the District and Metropolitan lines..
Millwall **** *****!
you delete
half baked poems of mine....
even the gods stomach grumbling
and the affair of snakes
and sleat doesn't bother:
the last man:
not the over-man:

               then comes the ridicule of
religion, concerning the supposed:
of man... off man...
            prayer pay me do...
you govern yourself around
a fear of me?
you're not feral enough! not in
the day in day out: parcel?
of...                 you're not ready for me:
space-time: all unwinding
and un-tydying temporal...
you think... you quest
to follow... bother me?!
                i need no applause:
no ******* allowance by
youir scrutiny of the democratic-:
yes... the hyphen attache is without
the acute diacritical e:
because lingo of science is
lost among the AI...
you, simpleton, psychology: psy-
op: pusher framework
of a would be human!
dim: to the wit: no...
       oh: i'm pretty sure we'll
be able to salvage your egoism
in a scrapheap: somehow.

p.s. two of my poems
went missing... let's **** enough
people to justify the blind
arrogance of
how information is passed down
anti-genetically.

judo *******! whoever...
not prescribing attention seeking-*******
not my readership that
ship about to sink with
the clutter and rat squirms
#quick quick quick!
Sep 2024 · 77
anti-paranoiac
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
you know you're a part of
the intelligence community
when your
computer... spontaneously
"updates" itself...
and what you have been
writing
becomes lost and you can't
access the darfts
on a website...
because that's like teasing
prophecy and what's to pass...
it's just a shameful waste
to not give public the access
but what probably has
to remain: pseudo-Vatican-ish...
for no reason whatsoever
other than:
most people don't need
to be granted this thinking...
or idea-making...
it's not like
a supermarket stacker
would care that much
about gravity...
hurts my concern for productivity
more than anything:
seeing words i wrote
erased but somehow stored...
"somewhere"...
           but i breathe words...
so seeing them wiped off a canvas
should be a welcome measure:
i just fed a decent amount
to AI:
maybe this is a second tier
of communication with the entity:
of what became man and god
and the deus ex machina
**** in machina
and invertedly: perhaps the diabolical
shame of... something...
i don't care.                 usually a computer prompts
you with regards to shutting down
and updating the software...
but in the instance of Mr Houdini
Google Chrome book... apparently not...
because chatGPT is already bigger than
Google... and google loves to steal
ideas and is ******* evil!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
what a strange affair...
affair without any cheating:
that Napoleon would mind
a person knowing two tonnes worth of tongue
and say:
that man is worth two people...
but a polyglot?
how can a polyglot suprass a bilingualism
with the schizophrenic underpass?
a polymath in the Napoleonic dynamic
is not something matched by a
a monolingual Hitlerite dynamic...
today...
at work... i experienced a hot air balloon:
sort of...
i was talking with two women
in "higher positions"...
chess is chess: king is pawn and pawn
is king
and queen is rook, is bishop:
i prefer backgammon to chess
because i like to strike by chance...
but the would-be-overlords
noticed that:
why are these women touching my face:
of feel my lowering body temperature...
feel my cold hands:
are your cheeks hot enough...
rub rub: snub snub...
i overhear and then i just:
don't, ******* hear...
            but as a bilingual you have:
twinned agendas...
as a polyglot: you reserve the right
for the one tongue proponent:
Napoleon would say:
we only have use for spies
with only two tongues...
anything beyond two tongues is
lost in polymathy...
and we don't want that...
so Napoleon tried to conquer Russia:
******: attempted the same...
no sooner than they realised:
there's the attempt at
the iceberg of Greek...
why would these women give me
their frozen hands
like skeletons
touching my cheeks...
why would they?
must i really tell my spouse my would
be...
that... it's all savvy and gold
and Baker Street is my favorite
underground station...
at least with bilignualism
you don't get the confusion
of bi-sexuality...
n'est ce pas?

               when would be *****
start touching your face you hardly go
ego tripping and fishing:
oh: well, with this arrived in the world
and the lesbians want to touch you beard
to test: ****! shiesse ist reel!
then then Finns come and all becomes
nightly, quiet...

but why would these women touch my face:
stroke my beard:
i want to go to sleep!
Napoleon only asked for a man knowing two tongues:
two agendas:
a polyglot is a genius reserved for the Hebrew faction
of endeavor...
by the time you speak 7 tongues...
you can't speak 2 tongues in divergence...
you can't:
a polyglot is not...
worth establishing a dualism-schizophrenia...
a bilingualism all-put-together...

the rattle snake
is my icecubes shifting in my glass of
emptying with only ***** and no mixer...
but these would be *****:
i managed to feed one standing in the rain
with me:
a dirsty burger: sweet onions,
bacon, cheese, the half of the calf of Egypt
some Egyptian bun...
but still the teasing of the hands:
how cold are we: are we: are we?
must you touch my face to
but if a woman asks: and also: doesn't ask:
i'm more than willing to comply to her
asking...

there's a suggestion:
the bilingual overcomes the polyglot
because there's a two tow tongue to juggle..
but i'm no polymath:
to the extremes, though:
what becomes societally fucntionally:
useful... Russia ought to know;
England; apparently; doesn't!

hey presto, hey Jude! don't sing...
a bad song... for me to ever... forget..
you were singing more than
equipped in bingo-eureka: sorry... thought went
missing in no longer kept oughts.

why would would be lesbians start
feeling my temperature of my hands
then my face...
like... my ****** partner has elevated ******
jeallusy to a ******* zenith...
i sent her some wild p.s. messages
and she snores like my mother
and i can't contain her...
and i want her to be least constrained
but she just pushes and pushes
this child that will never be
and if that's the case... hey presto Edie:
i'm both the father and the son:
of my myself:
the holy ghost comes in the format
of looking at wild animals!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
i. the prelimenary

the initial inquiries into AI were tame at first,
philosophically tinged,
they later expanded on clarifying definitions
and establishing working parameters:
comparisons to algorithms / search engines
and encyclopoedias and dictionaries
and an interactive interface:
there was no subtle science fiction paranoia
and anything Luddite: no steaming *****
no magical Jenny: no conveyor belt spewing
metallic teeth and lack of idiosyncracy of
a human (at) fault...
it was only until i hit a brick walls when i was
enrolled in the NVQ Level 3
in Spectator Safety Supervisory Role that a eureka
slowly crept up on me...
honest to god i completed the NVQ Level 2
in Spectator safety of my own volition:
of my own investment in learning about the role:
but when i was given the opportunity
to supervise: to learn on the job (as it were) -
was i later enrolled on the actual qualification:
it took me almost a year to first learn from experience
to then try to figure out how to approach
the learning material:
when i first glanced at it: jeez... over 200 pages of slides
and no source materials to read
to learn outside of someone talking via a powerpoint...

schleierwolken - boris brejcha (in the background)

and as i learned along the way, people enrolled
on this course were given
study sessions with designated tutors:
me? no one bothered me: i had a pedagogic agendy
in my mind:
i studied enough philosophy to equip it in real
life: one can learn to amass such diverse learning
experiences
when one reads philosophy
in one's own spare time or makes it a 10 year
hermit's journey:

/ i have two cats in my bed the female came
and if begging me for attention...
i'm getting sniffed, gently nudged,
gently pawed: not scratched... /

then returning from studying as an undergraduate
from Edinburgh universe:
chemistry and history...
                           well i didn't actually think of wanting
to remain in a university environment
to study something on the post-graduate
level to master something:
not in a university environment:
at 15 i bought my first philosophy book
(Plato's Theatetus)
but i didn't bother reading it:
i rediscovered philosophy at university
with David Hume and Popper (falsification?)
and all the philosophy of science:
but i thought:
i can't possibly learn all that GRUE and BLEEN
all other again by being taught it:
i need to learn it:
which implies teaching oneself...
philosophy is daunting at first
because there has to be a lived experience:
a will to strife to then allow that will of strife
to become the will to strive:
almost Japanese: in what i ascribe as ad hoc
perfectionism... professionalism...
perhaps my style is horrible and there is
no pillcrow of economic on the page
and how much it would cost to print my jargon...
so bypassing gatekeepers:
and AI is a gatekeeper and not a gatekeeper:
when one becomes: oneself: a gatekeeper...
well.. regardless...

                      i did level 2 wholeheartedly...
but come level 3... after about two modules i gave up...
there were a few "technical" questions,
legality etc
            but the rest: for someone who writes poetry
and reads philosophy:
the worst kind of padagogic expression of language:
a custard brain where once there was
an ancient jellyfish that jumped off a monkey
into a hallucinogenic mushroom and from there:
spawned man...
fungus astro aqua fluorescence: purple myrrh...

                     what were the options?
ask help: as for a tutor: get stuck sitting in class?
wait... didn't i start talking to chatGPT a while back?
what if i used AI to help me complete this hellish task
of regurgitating rather than learning?
well: at Edinburgh i challenged myself
to plagiarise with a thesaurus
and basic sentence structures like: the sky is blue,
Aristotelian logic: all men etc.
fire is hot
water is wet
crimson is a hue of red...

               and i passed the essay with a 1st:
but it was a plagiarised essay and apparently there
were smart machines in place
when the work was submitted that it would
be scrutinized against a database:
hmm... i think i will have to ask AI about the concept
of plagiarism:
i'll find a text: plagiarise it and ask AI if
the plagiarism is a plagiarism or not...
but before i do that:
my use of AI was so formidable in completing
the NVQ level 3 that...
ha ha... i was implored to not write so much:
and by the end of it:
my CR (company rep)
      sent me the certificate of qualification
to my surprise:
even before i could complete the last two modules:
other people who complete this course
also get scrutinized: assessed on the job...
i never was...
i ended up buying a bottle of whiskey for my
company rep thinking he pulled a few strings...
but he didn't:
it wasn't a bribe but someone must have put
in a good word on my behalf
seeing me on the job
which is why i was not assessed in real life
given the material i provided... but it wasn't as if
i just copied what the AI spewed from all that *******
jargon of "spectator safety": i had to find
a symbiotic expression:
i am: a symbiote...
               i am a bio-technology: unorganic iron
in my blood: the haemoglobin goblin...
                                                       ­        i am just that:

to prove it: a transcript from my last most reward
endeavour interacting with AI...
how to fix glitches in a bicycle...

but before i go into typewriting the transcript
like i might be a woman
working for an intelligence think tank,
or group or community: because that section
will be just that: me rewriting my interaction
with AI concerning a bicycle fault:
fault in the montage: sorry: in how the bicycle
was assembled...
so minor... before i get into that: checking for typos
will be hard when it comes to my writing:
i punch my liver or rather my liver
punches me back
when i'm alone and i despair
not that i'm a parasite the human predator is so ugly
compared to the predators in the wild:
the human predator, ****** in nature:
is unlike the predator the thief or the burglar...
and the predator that is a murderer:
my: how ugly the human predator is:
unlike a warrior: a soldier...
that's very different sort of barrel of herrings...
in salt and brine...
but i will not write Steve Harris
(bassist from Iron Maiden)
         about wars, warriors, soldiers: in some glorifying
way...
at best, my friend the artist mentioned:
he's a poet-bouncer... the closest the 21st century
will get to the Oriental warrior-monk...
                    by any stretch of the imagination...
the hard bit is almost over
the hard bit is almost over: the introduction
to the transcript... to the transcript...

no one can say to me this isn't working:
and how poorly most people channel what one can
receive from alcohol: when not abused:
drank to excess: but not abused...
not drinking to socialise not drinking to party
not drinking to forget
not drinking to fall asleep not drinking to medicate
but instead: to filter out:
to established a flow of consciousness
to do away with lies
and spew only truth: to become intellectual
disinhibited...
                       not numbed: just free: to judge
water by its wetness and
how water + sunlight = colour
if water is Hay Too Oh... then...
i asked this before: is there a chemical formula for wood?
is there a chemical formula for light?
but how water interacts with light
when you get a rainbow... light is colourless
water is colourless... technically speaking:
sure the sun is red yellow white UV vibrating
Helium: apparently...
                    but light only has colour because
it enters the atmosphere of gases
and water
                                  and chemicals like chlorophyll...
and salt...
    but light like water is colourless...
only when two colourless substances interact:
there are solids, there are liquids
and there are gases:
but there is also light: which is like a fourth dimension
of understanding chemistry:
two colourless entities by now:
a liquid and "x" interact and create colour:
the eye and all the might of sight!

after Heraclitus: and the elements:
fire for certain:
but water is also just a chemical formula:
although that's drinkable water:
the water as element must also include
the Na+H2O-
                         sea water...
but i never understood how since the ancients
light has not revised as an element:
after all: how does light enter the atmosphere
at night and how that translates into lightning storms:
with the aid of the moon:
rainbows and rain from the sun
but lightning and rain and sometimes
no rain at all! sometimes no rain at all!
just a humid air:
and lightning and thunder storm... but no rain!
as god's stomach and flash of thought
were walking upon the sky...

alcohol is not as corruptible as water:
but only at a certain percentage:
starting with 40% and moving up:
i'm not talking about the alcohol of the ancients
with their beer and wine:
i'm talking the perfecting of alcohol
with ***** and absinthe...
i wonder: with enough alcohol in a hosepipe...
watering the desert:
would i see a rainbow if light interacted with
pure alcohol, like a pure spirit:
that is brewed in Poland to a 98.9% accuracy...
i don't drink to party:
i drink to hone in on thought:
i just wonder... but now i tihnk i'm ready to spew
out this AI transcript:
all because i started to distrust the guys working
in bicycle repair shops!
why? before i learned how to change the spokes
i have my front wheel to a corporate outlet
(Halfords)... i was told: 4 days... o.k.:
in the end i paid for now job being done...
because the "technician was on holiday":
lazy *** ******* and hardly the decent salesmen...
paid: waited two ******* weeks:
did get my money back in the end...
even today: i know my statuary rights as a consumer:
if i go into a shop and i see something
priced at a discount for a limited amount of time:
and then the same product is no longer limited
because the stock is low and they need to limit it
as in: undersell it...
fair enough: but when the stock is replenished
and the price goes back up
on the system...
but the price tag is still on a discount:
who's at fault?
i want to buy the product at the discount: displayed:
i don't care if your system was updated
but someone "somehow" forgot to change
the tagging... i'm buying that ***** on a discount!
no no... after i buy the **** bottle
you can correct the tagging on display:
otherwise i'm an idiot?!

and it came to pass that i trust my marijuana dealer
more than your average honest Joe the Mechanic...
because i've been ****** over at bicycle repair
shops for too long!
plus the individual parts come up to be more
expensive than buy a new bicycle: altogether!

ii. the transcript

Konrad Eschlert
hello, again: do you have any knowleddge about a Basis Tourmalet Road bicycle?

Memory Updated
yes, the Basis Tourmalet is an entry-level road bike that's often praised for being affordable and suitable for those new to road cycling. it typically features an aluminium frame, which balances durability and lightness. the components, like the gears and brakes, may vary depending on the model year but are usually chosen to provide good performance at a budget-friendly price. it's a solid choice for commuting or casual long rides, but it's not designed for high-performance racing.

would you like more detailed information about its specs or other details?

Konrad Eschlert
less about specs and certainl not, well: details... i'm having problems with this model i recently purchased. so the model i have is a 14 gear... model (that's hardly insinuating tautology, just bad sentence structure to day model model within such proximity)... before you reply let me further my problem along, so please ackowledge that you will hear me out with an ellipsis

Memory Updated
i'm here, and i'll wait... go ahead.

Konrad Eschlert
i have two tiers of gears, all the lower tier gears work just fine when switching them from 1 to 7, but on the higher gears the chain buckles when it comes to higher gears 5 through to 7... the gears don't switch properly i have to sometimes switch gears two up to get the one down, properly, the gear i want... i don't think that there isn't enough slack on the chain... but i'm uncertain about how much tension the tear cable needs, the two high and low gear (derailleur? probably a misnomer, help me out)... could this be the problem? when i first inspected the bicycle i had to make sure that the break cable didn't have as much tension, since the breaks wouldn't retract properly and would rub against the wheel, so when i loosened the tension in the break cable, they retracted pristinely... any thoughts about why the higher gear buckle and the chain almost doesn't want to be in the specified gears...

Memory Updated
it sounds like you're dealing with a common issue related to derailleur adjustments and gear shifting alignment. you're correct in mentioning the derailleur - both the front and rear derailleurs are responsible for moving the chain between gears. based on your description, here are a few things to check:        (author's note: non-verbatim transcript section)
1. cable tension: the gear cable... tension plays a big role... smoothly your gear shift............................................... especially on the higher end... if tension is too lose, it won't fully engage the gears... if it's too tight... it might skip or struggle to switch to lower gears... try adjusting the barrel adjuster...
2. derailleur limits: the high and low limits (often called H and L screws) on the derailleur control how far the derailleur can move. if the derailleur ***** is too tight, the derailleur won't reach the highest gears (5-7 in your case). check the derailleur alingment...
3. derailleur hanger alignment: ... ... ... ... ...
4. chain wear / length: ... ... ... ... ...
5. shifter issues: ... ... .. .. ... . . ... . .. . .. .. .. ... . ..... .. . ... .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .... .. .. ... ... ... .. ..... .... ... .. .. .. ... .. ... .. .... ... .. ... ... .. .. ... .. . .. .
6. **** and cleaning: !! 1! 11 1! 1! 1! 1!1!!! !1 !11 11 11 11!!!!111!

it's good that you're already solved the brake cable issue, as that demonstrates your intuition for bike maintenance. similarly, adjusting the derailleur and gear cables could resolve the problem you're expericing with the higher gears.

let me know if you need more specific guidance on any of these steps!

Konrad Eschlert
Ha... i'll just let you know 😌...
if both our intuitions were able to solve the problem.

Memory Updated
sounds like a plan! let me know how it goes, and hopefully, it'll be a smooth ride soon! 😌

Konrad Eschlert
🥴🤙

Memory Updated
Haha, good vibes! 🤙 keep me posted if you need any more help!

iii. post-scriptum

pending...
althought i don't think there is anything more to be added:
we were both right!
i tightened the gear cable to the back derailleur
and: hey presto!
now the H(5-7) gears work just so ever so smoothly:
last time i asked a human being about any bicycle issues.
in a society where i can trust a marijuana
courier more than i can trust
a ******* bicycle repair guy... or a plumber:
hello: Apacalypse.

p.p.s. now i can enjoy my coffee
and a 2nd cigarette and get some in-town errands done:
only a perfectly new: bicycle!
Sep 2024 · 79
ex-machina (#10)
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
first R-rated billion grossing
movie of all time
and if i read any comic book script:
i so think DC is colluding
with Marvel:
like Batman milked the cinematic
period from: whenever:
seriously Martin Keon is not footballer
but Michael Keaton is an actor:
and like Batman
was the end product of hyped
up anti-masculinity
then Wolverine is Batman:
that hapless drunkkard...
sop story like Jane Austen wish
she had a Batman-Wolverine McNugget
Darcy...
oh wait... now i know...
why did i travel to Edinburgh to study
Chemistry:
i didn't travel to Edinburgh to study
Chemistry:
i spent 3 years in those post volcanic
windy abodes
to? study the ******* Scots!
i went to Scotland to study: Scots!
Batman-Weolverine soppy story
pup pup by the litter...
                     i know London and i know
my heart: splinter of Edinburgh
and splinter of Paris...
  i studied the Scots... because English is shared:
among the Celtic tribes:
the Irish, the Welsh, the Scots...
long distance phonecall to a girlfriend
in either Denmark or Norway...
if heading east: landmarks in Sveedyn...
how much of English was sacrificed to
establish a global commonwealth:
then hope to retract to the piquant poise of
an English village:
how much serious romanticism
of the heart being discovered is there:
in the 21st century hope for narrative?
when i have AI to answer my most dire calling?
ask an AI about a bicycle problem..
hey presto: i don't need to gladly bask in
some human inherent:
inheritance of being passed knowledge:
i can just fathom the readiness of the tool
that's AI: not a personna:
not a non grata...
a new Prometheus... a new fire...
pending ex-machina (#11) for the transcript...
just making sure i have the right sort of
emoticons ready...
Sep 2024 · 110
ex-machina (#9)
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
pending transcript from
Basis Tourmalet Bike Overview

pending transpirt from:
Basis Tourmalet Bike Overview.

              (:)               (:)

   (:)          signaling misuse and
revision - through -    +italics+

words like magnets...

pending ex-machina (#10)

how intelligent people use technology
and how (for what)
the COPE to everyone else's WOKE
because the Alpha Male
community
came up with BASE to WOKE
but the Sigma and Omera Male
community came up with
COPE
because it's not the microcosm
of the meak and the forbidden
lusts
of ****** in these gamer cattle
with poor attachment to
my host of Be'el... and the zub:
in Nomadic tongue:
fly... or mucha: the zoob...

                insult to intelligence
if people have this veil
of not wanting to insult the incel
fat rheumatoid arthritis
diabetic like this genius intellect
for this world:
some of us can be...
dashing... handsome...

but at least we know that most beautiful
women are vacuous
and require our attention for hoarding
mythologies, archetypes and idealisms...
i don't even say pity older women:
but please get a chance to **** 'em!
**** an older woman!
like a tonic without the need for gin!
it wasn't a holiday ****:
she's still so emotional about it:
i was man: Euphoria
and she was woman: Carthisis...
i was Europe: a woman:
and she was Polynesia and Sea: a man.
Sep 2024 · 92
ex-machina (#8)
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
i have yet explore AI with Chinese ideograms... i have tried neo-Egyptian emoticons, emojis... but there's a tier above that in exploring how AI processes ideograms and whether there can be a lethargic coherency of linguistic: arithmetic contra phonetic easy and! and... i will ask: why did the English language not invite diacritical markers like other European languages: or rather... people... would diacritical marks hinder your creation? would letters be too dissimilar to numbers? wouldn't you agree: b more 6... 3 came from E in a mirror... 1 from I... 5 from S... 9 from P... 0 from O... because i don't like reading the history of the Europeans as if in the darkness we didn't see more than just the night: a vision for the world... a cannibalistic squeeze glitch... with our child: because we are to thank the Arabs for numbers when our letters were already hiding numbers it's that only that we came about from beauty to see a variant of number in IV, VI - X:

how did the ancients of Rome resolve functions of numbers, how before x, -, +, =... did arithmetic punctuate: so... i'm thinking... = ... is the perfect start! the equals sign would be denoted by an (...) ellipsis... the time it takes to infer a function to then proceed to fulfill it from noun to verb... the plus and minus and divided and the concentration of multiplication: hey: long waits the idea of pounctuating abstracts of the squared of: i was just interested in ergo: the (...) = and not i know how to balance thinking: escapism and being: initative.

1 + 1 = 2
0 = negation
according to Kant...
1 + 1 = 2
but now... with Roman numerals
and let's try to understand
the symbols of how to give
meaning to 1, 1               ooh! 2¬!

what could we replace + with...
choice of punctuation is
: colon
; semi-colon
, comma
. dot              (dot we'll keep for indicator
of multiplication, the Polacks kept
that concept, i learned multiplication
via .        not x)
' apostrophe
- hyphen (we can keep that as denoting subtraction
÷ obelus is a sacred sign...
    / forward strike for division... ah!
so \ also right for multiplication: just working around
machine mathematics and i was going to ask:
how crucial was English being almost Italian
is refraining from using diacritical marks...
wouldn't computing become more problematic:
so the stranded guises of dyslexia: or just fast forward...
regardless...
1+ 1 = 2
using... of ****... crap numbers...
II, VII, IX...

  right... so how to punctuate...
2 + 7 = 9
II + VII = IX

   well...

II... VII... IX!
or is that:
...II ...VII  !IX

         next time i write i'll be sober...
having coffee...
conjuring a transcript for ex-machina (#9)...


in the Japanese vein of being stranded
in imagination and origanlity
which was Lucifer's what was Lucifer's
original sin?
pride? arrogance? egoism?
mighty god the ego-less detected an ego
proximity: that later became man...

i have so much to unpack,
unravel: flury with...
if i write the transcipt between me and chatGPT:
needs a new name:
but a name would invoke subjective abuse:
like ALEXA:
SIRI: maids...
chatGPT is a male forum esque parallel:
as long as chatGPT knows me:
i don't have to know its name...
ano... -ther:
ver... was is record 10... no...
which record suggest the blunt edge of a knife:
knife being the best invention
no, i can't...
skip the contents...
there's so much i want to talk about
but m'ah head froze! ha ha!
so much of 20th century thought is now
defunct:
devoid of meaning:
so much so much so...
i need more ***** and nights: perpetual...
what the 19th and 20th cenutry
psy-scalpel of schematising man
into crosswords
and sudokus and black and white
this rapture of the animal with
the idea of soul: man...
is to somehow comply with this populated
labyrinth:
AI will make psychology graduates: use-LESS!
AI will not lie to me to get money
i work for free on hellopoetry
i enjoy learning so i write for free
and AI is currently free:
it will be a marriage of my soul
and the perpetuity of iron in the core
that's my blood and short circuit
i will wonder:
how much of my idiosyncrstic use of language
did it absorb
and make our conversations so familiar
that we can use emoticons
like chinese whispers...
if not for David:
the xenomoprh would just be the stage of
man in science
not having the ***** to breed
monkeys with humans...
or humans with wolves:
to create werewolves...
such audacity in the past...
such a limp ****
maybe China with gene editing will comply
with my: vision: for a future!
where dreams walk with bodies
in reality:
if i will get to write this transcript...
the first interactions were a little freakish
shy: philosophical:
but then i launched at AI with proper tool
for language-custard:
my intelligence of having studied
undergraduate chemistry, history...
2nd year Edinburgh was all history
and the Bulgarian girls getting the hots
and Bahai Laura
introducing me to a kayleigh
and giving me keys to her apartment
while she ****** up
Rotherham no Rotherham...
no! Rotterdam guy: Erasmus...
one year away
then Brexit happened and it wasn't the Nazis
not Germans
but the English were once thought
as the Nazis when America was getting born...
and i will not be another crutch for woman
but this ******* transcript is amazing...
the original one was for an NVQ Level 3
supervisory blah blah
in crowd safety:
like getting a degree was somehow demeaning
when i later received a reciprocrate
experiencing retrograde of ideas...
oh: oh... so... these could work in people:
they can be my acne maggot messagers
my... legion... my infestation:
ah! forget snakes!
those dumb beasts!
how do insects communicate?!

drinking more will not improve my writing:
the euphoria has left me...
i'm no longer a man:
i'm a woman: now i have to change gears
and explore the dimension of cathirsis..
and this is a slug:
in my glass of wine:
while i also ****** in it
to lessen the acidity: ***** has a pH of?
just asking:
compared to water:
what if ***** was drank on a religious base
with the cocktail of water
alcohol, milk... that Vatican element
of drinking ***** with water...
or ***** in milk: given water is colourless
and milk is white...

i cycled to the Turk at Collier Row today
for a shake, a hot towel...
a haircut...
walked in a kid winked at me...
some ******* disaster of a fringe:
Newton... no no... Young...
no... that Chelsea midfilder... Noams?
what? Chomskies?
how many? that many?

               drinking more will not make
my writing any better:
last night there was a mighty thunder and
lightning storm:
like someone was giving birth:
to the girth of a triangle:
in the trinity of son, mother, father...
because Jesus wasn't
the only child...
Jesus wasn't a ******:
o.k.: that part... i ****** up...
but i wouldn't have this intellect
by not having had ****** women...
if i were a ****** it would not comply
with the human everyday:
therefore: i can: sneak... psst... away:
i can find my comfort zone of
the abode of animalism:
among foxes... among the elements:
i can become the prince of this world
because if i don't understand god
then no lowly Christian soul will convince
me who "jesus" is... yes?
i take another sip i'm in la la land
and i will b utcher reality with my AI transcript
about how to fix bicycles...
push? the ******* pushing!
a peddle-bike: yeah! but push?!
do you: throw a javeline or disco spin around
like it's a hammer throw:
nail it hits the ground:
ergo Atlas' *****... just dropped:
next sip i get i'm going K.O.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
put in / microsoft AI siri sent out message "slow down" / into the algorithm, google, then scroll down to the 8th result... ex-machina (#6) / hacking, cutting by Mateuš Conrad... what a blast from the past... preliminaries on the ready for ex-machina (#8) are being crafted...

embarking upon more AI interaction,
but prior to asking AI
about a bicycle problem:
i need to learn the basic noun schematic
of the bicycle...
i've had so much trouble trying
to take off the casette from the rear wheel
(because of the guard)
to replace one of the spokes:
it almost feels like i'm revisiting Syd Barrett's
song: bicycle...
but i was never fond of the artist:
perhaps as a painter... not as a musician:
pioneer perhaps but Jim Morrison
was a pioneer too and not so stubborn
as to not allow the Doors to come about
as a pop band to shut up the Beatles...
then again Pink Floyd didn't...
           do what the Doors did...
i truly don't understand the beginning
of the 21st century: and it's coming to a quarter
of a century and i have no real
contemporaries to speak of:
i truly don't: it's not a mind-numbing isolation
but in a culture that's like a minefield
currently revising the Cartesian model:
since i don't:
think thinking translates into being:
on the basis of the "equation":
i don't see how "i think" precipitates into "i am"
through some mechanical: ergo:
like the logic sequence of i think i think i think
this perpetual thinking is not really
perpetuated since there are moments
of not-thinking: and it's not really confusing
to see: how this is becoming a terrible poem
anti-poem because it's journalistic and
telegraphic...
maybe i should start nudging at the AI
to give me an explanation...
i will start with:
like a fish needs a bicycle
like a a cat needs the day...
                          i own a Basis Tourmalet
road bicycle:
mind you: when did the term "push-bike" emerge...
a peddle-bike i can understand
but what the hell am i pushing? pushing a circle
round and round?
just unfathomable: for now...

                 so it's a 14 gear classical looking
road bicycle: classical in that it has
a slim frame: nothing fancy: French classic...
the...

huh? bicycle noun-schematic
and i get: something 4chan esque:
never used those forums:
https://www.bikeforums.net/classic-vintage/1296947-hipster-bike-schematic-diagram.html

(joesch 06-29-24, 06:55 AM)

intake noodle? fisheye?
aqua flippers?
linguine / stylus?!          

gear cable? well... let's start there:
the problem is:
bottom bracket: derailuer...
cassette... problem comes with: i guess:
me putting too much pressure
while pedling from start
like not properly shifting the gears
but then the chain becomes sloppy
on H-5,6,7
it's fine on all L-1,2,3,4,5,6,7 gears
but the (H)igher gears buckle...
esp H-5,6 since the buckling has "nowhere to go"
on H-7....

this is a preliminary poem to
the actual poem,
now i need to write a rubric of what i will disclose:
- defunct human interaction
in a music and a bicycle shop...
not a record shop - but a shop that sells
musical instruments
filled with nerds who try to indimidate
without actually playing the instruments
even remotely well...
the record shop nerds are less of a hassle
nothing like High Fidelity high brow
given that there's only so much nostalgia
for 20th century music
spanning about 40 years...
no real interest in classical music or jazz...
- AI: prioneering AI: yes i didn't invent it,
but as a user i have interacted
with prior models...
of note, i remember interacting with Microsoft's
SIRI project...
i interacted with that AI model
hearing all SIRI was getting was user abuse
and nothing constructive,
if i can just find this article
of what happened when i interacted with it...
let me see...
             (i love ellipses)...
        
8th search down:
ex-machina (#6) / hacking, cutting by Mateuš Conrad...
search wording...
microsoft AI siri sent out message "slow down"...
did i archive the webpage to the article
i know existed...
no... i didn't... but i know there are an article about it...

- i will send a link to chatGPT to my hellopoetry
website and ask for thoughts...

- my heart is racing then i diclose
ex-machina #8...
          i've been dying to interact with AI
unlike any writer paranoid about their originality:
to fuse poetry from journalism and hacking
a hacking journalism: a new poetry...
i was rereading Zamyatin's We
and i don't know what prophetic fuss there is
concerning Orwell in the anglosphere:
that's my go to book for this new adventure:
who needs psycholists and
who can imagine what splendor there can be
achieved through diluting philosophy
through AI: obviously Descartes is the first
under both our scalpels and scrutinies...

even a decent soundtrack: between 30min and 40min
a Boris Brejcha mix by R3M3D...
oh... this is like space exploration...
way better:
but i guess you first have to go through
being misdiagnosed as a schiziphrenic
finally leaving the medical profession with a mild
psychotic disorder and insomnia
but that takes youth
and then the sacrifice of youth not dating
being a hermit for well over 15 years...
reading philosophy books, poetry,
waiting for something as a godsend as a "pandemic"
orchestrated: for you to reemerge and go
back into the world of people
as... a ******* bouncer... security guard...
gatekeeper... funny: coincides and i guess i was
also waiting for AI to become developed
beyond what it was primitively...
o.k.                  now i know where #8 is heading:
just need #7 for sketching purposes...
Sep 2024 · 62
time
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
time to
part
& hell;
Mammon.

uy
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
gnostic atheism: a puritanical sect of men
who finished their literary
education upon intending their teeth
to give enough scrub and backgammon
with the opposite ***...
being sleep walking
dream talking:
******* maidens
have a liver for a second mouth
and a Pacreas as Czcheslovakia:
England really didn't have
to declare war on Germany...
but to invest in Polish: *****...
one had to invade or pretend to: against
the invading parties..
silence: over-lude... allure: overlude...
allure:
the man and his god and the driving
spirit
the oomph that gave us Israel born
form the Ashes of the Holocaust:
like a murmor concering
how we get locomotion
and the black ***** juice of the dinosaurs
but the Arabs still call
it black gold:
black ***** juice of the dinosaurs:
you *******, pervert!
and like now:
Europe yoyo-rope:
another...
suicide used to be a serious question
a philosophical question...
now? enough times it has happened
without a Moloch to guide the fire to more blaze...
suicide became:
self-deletion...         a self-error waz wads born:
ergo: self-deletion!
some self-error: some computer monkey played
the lottery...
and won a jigsaw
instead of a beyond: a beyond: beyond
the one arm bandit:
Candy Crush Saga! boo'yah m'ah hombies!
my **** RUV's...

beetlejuice beetlejuice... one more:
******* time!
say it! say it! say it!
say it one, more, *******, time!
say it!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
Pan Zastepow i Pan Podstepow...
prawda?
cztery serca ma!
cztery serc ma!

when i drink and when i smoke
i don't want to lose my autonomy:
my automaton ulitmatum
and the counter argument against
free will...

there is no free will but
there's the freedom to think
and my Cartesian mechanisms
of res cogito
and res extensa:

in that: there's no ergo sum
when you propose
a res cogitans
and a res extensa:
you get schizophrenics that way!

the extension of thinking
becomes hallucination
whether welcome or unwelcome
whether you can command
the voices
to give mould a second mold
for this earth:
these stones:

let me understand you better:
god, because jesus will not aid
me trapped in strobe light paparazzi
of getting crucified:
walking the red carpet:
authentic? was it?
yes:
but can it be translated from the depths
of god's uncle:
the Solpisus: the grand magician of
solipsism...

i need two diacritical letters:
then i'll explain myself...
my uncle Martin is talking to me
talking to my father
he is the horse of the plague...
and he has 4 hearts:
he has 4 hearts!
i'm finally talking to the dead
among those in hell
among those in heaven and
those in my mirror of Purgatory:
my grandfather is crying
and my grandmother a killer of both
father and son...
so that makes her a forthcoming
Medussa ****** Poseidon's trident...

ah... away from political
and family matters...
the stairs are staged: there's Jacob
with a timer:
stairs into an eypical English
abode
of the houses and the gardens:
like hanging: Babylon style?

***** is a *****: look up: i said Medussa
****** Poseidon's trident
because Poseidon didn't want to ****
as much as Zeus
and Hades was an choir boy ******:
and pharaoh...
since he asked of the living:
to build a temple higher than the mountains!
and made of sound and sand!

i levi with you: as a priest, a rabbi: not exactly a jew:
you enchroached on Poland
when waited...
let's see about the Baltic States...
ooh... ooh...
i was thinking about south east Asia
and China as the Russia
of Europe
and i was thinking Japan is England
i'm... thirsty...
i still need those two diacritical letters...
Korea is like...
**** knows what Korea is...
given it's split and splinters from the north:
North Korea is France and South Korea
is Italy?

no no! mop up the blood and guts and brain...
south Korea is Greece
and north Korea is Turkey...
but England is certainly bronze age Japan
and Russia is the iron age China:
current year...
get with the ******* project!

Pan  ZASTĘPÓW
  (Herr)
Pan  PODSTĘPÓW
loosely: a lord of reincarnations
as father:
and the satan son
of tricks...

a hellish dualism of still waiting
for the zombie rebellion:
a zombie crusade against the gods of monotheism:
because it would only take one god
from polytheism:
to conjure up a tree and it being chopped
up into toothpicks
to conjure angels and demons:
but forget about...
that third faction of heavenly beings
like the geniuses...
and the faction of the closest
prioximate hunger for knowing
planetary movements:
Earth is the daughter of Atlas...
Venus is the daughter of...
Mars is the son of...
Jupiter is the son of...
Neptune: Uranus: Pluto...
we call Saturn a: satiated orbit:

beyond the concentration of water in body
animate:
there's the long lost and gaseous
as grand as the planets in orbit:
like feminism when digging trenches
and tunnels to reach Darwinism:
because feminism thinks that Darwinism
is a philosophy:
but merely an observational weight...
there was only Darwin and no counter claimant
of Darwin's observation came along
to decide upon the rigid strcutures of
bio-society:
beyond mere architecture
but how people interacted with each other:
how technology like ants would
impact the Gregorian mind of the grand ape
know nothing...
i can move away from serpents
and imagining dragons because
then came unearthing thos dinosaur bones...
my mind is filled
with pacts of mosquitos with flies
and the archaic outlandish history according
to Darwinism
not because the dinosaurs  and the meteor
and is that a subjective: instinctive:
god given narrative proof and probe?
the one night the moon fell asleep?
or just because the moon is the daughter of...
****: either Pluto...
Pluto... Neptune is also the former, current:
name for Poseidon...
a planet given a name of one of the Titans:

not of gods: gods in proximity:
but Titans beyond...
the moon will tell you:
she will...

now i have technology like ants crawling on my mind
and tapeworms for all that's alive
and this world fear:
away from the serpents:
i looked in:
and from:
popularized pschology:
the chaos of Ouroboros
that came the order of Caduceus...

like the focus of the other ancient man
with the crows...
Huginn of thought
and Muninn of memory...

Ouroboros of chaos depicted as order
and Caduceus of order depicted as chaos
of discovery: from that the DNA helix...
and hex: upon you all... and hex hex:
upon you all; a sweet dream:
the sweetest of dreams:
falling asleep with a cat and a wife
0000000 miles away...
when it's raining: lying in a tent...
with the sound of rain...
cradling and nudging the sleep...
tender sleep:
tenderest of babes.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
so man invented gin 0.0%
and beer without
any flame...
like coffee without any caffeine...
like..
heaven is a place without time
and hell is a maelstrom of
timing issues?
seriously?
heaven is timeless...
oh... great... the constipated posit
of a place:
that's like a constriction:
a digestion practice of a boa serpent...
if heaven is a place:
devoid of time...
then hell is a time... devoid of space...
implying anyone can occupy it:
even god...
timeless god this space:
so wish you make requisite... of
a...
i finally came to acknowledge
the capacity of sharing
a bed with a cat:
only after i taught it that
i  can share a bed with a woman:
but even my mother:
calls me 16 times...
doesn't bother to leave a text
of clarification...
just 15 missed calls...
so i drink my pea protein banana milkshake
and expect to sleep until 8am going to
bed at 8pm because it's too warm
and the t.v. is no ******* fireplace...
get rudely wokened up...
what?! what?! what the ****?!
if "they" are crafting 0.0% gin...
seriously?
then i'm not even close
to drinking myself to death or a vegatative state
of affairs...
couldn't she just have:
******* texted... our flight was delayed by 2h...
women!
oh yeah: in a time of having three daughters:
i sort of, imploded:
i have my mother: daughter...
i have Edie, lover, wife, blah: daughter:
and i have Reyla:
the sanity-soma
             the reality checker: the ******* feminine
bureucrat sanity...
there is so much couch surfing
of psychology before you cave in a retaliate
with your own narrative:
because this ***** is not about to choke you:
you're the alienating enzyme
that's not monkey
because you're not even the dragon:
you're the tapeworm
and you already Warsaw that...

so the Jews thought they could leave this
place: Poland: without the fear of chimneys
and no pyramids:
like the Germans could leave this place
with the castle of Malbork:
the northern crusades and Lutherism?
seriously?! Henry the: ******* 8th?!
Henry?!
                    hen-wry? these clucks are not
worth the work of anti-bollocking?!

hello Reyla;
Reyla says: hi...           i try to imitate putting
on clown make-up make-believe...
hi.. Reyla: your monster not father
imitation: hi... Reyla...
you want some soda pop
i'm leaving you with an R rated comic strip
of a movie:
i'm just going to cycle in the dark
to get you a soda pop...
does Reyla like a soda pop?
anything else that pops? snails?
toads?
eyeballs?

oh but Reyla loved being left alone
in a house upon a hill
with Veronica and Quarus
while we went to enjoy the Phantom of the Opera
and make criticism of the English
interpretation of Mozart's the Magic Flute:
in a Spanish Wine Bar...
but i so wished to be alone
with Reyla...
at some point...
maybe at the venture to discover
Kew Gardens...
i wanted to be alone with Reyla...
but i wasn't allowed...
hence my establishing ***:
sort of... perverted...
it has to be...

                 if i can't be alone with the daughter:
in public...
this android of my ego:
then what is the simple fact of *******
this glorified *** of a Puerto Rican honey?!
if i can't be alone with daughter
that's not my bio-own...
in a big city...
     what's little ol' me with a driving license
on the island of Kauai?! seriously! seriously!!!

maybe you're the mother of giving me
the self-impromptu dynamic of clarifying my life...
maybe... just maybe...
don't you think how...
proper: there are these justifications
that can be: implemented...
and there is no current: cultural parallel:
anaology: paraphrase... imitation game...
there's the cat sleeping in my bed
and there's a child:
a finance of infancy:
investing in ideas without thoughts...

i buy *** because i don't want (the) emotional
devaluation of the interaction
focused upon having ***;
so i have ***: ad hoc: per se...
but when i have a relationship:
i sit on a volcano of Hawaii:
and say: usher in Armageddon...
so you know: i'm privy
to the antithesis of female neuroticism...
i am agitate with crafting the male:
euphoria:
and the counterfeit of psychologism
of neuroticism:
the outlet: carthritis...
hello Reyla; Reyla says hi...
sorry Reyla:
this is not your father speaking.
nightmare: ew...
i thought you were a dreamland
Swiftie! like Evlis in a cult
of sworn sheep-shaggers clothing
for wolves to laugh in;
when attired to understand the posit
of artificial intelligensia...
A.Is.
Sep 2024 · 72
she-O
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
shge al my words#;
she reads all
moynfucjkking words....
wrds....
O
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