that is happiness
unlike concern
there's: there being
but then i can't rap
Heidegger
just images
bleeding
i need Francis Bacon
in the clouds
i see faces in the clouds
we
we            WE are having parliament
of shadows
WE have audience
with each other:
who the ****** spelled
the Quran to the mother!
i said the Quran was written
by a woman
i don't like modern feminism:
i'm flying in into San Francisco
to clean the city up
with some fire
dust... please...
rap rap rap rap
rap rap rap ****** rap ******
stop singing
rap rap rap ******
*****'ah...
Beckett not-I...
this ****** ***** the old man
is thinking in B-movie LEwisham ******
come on let's get angry
let's get angry
with Hod is the jockstrap censor smooth
over Allah for the ridicule of Dog
grandpa KEnya
before Arabia arrived...
oh oooh sweet
guess i get the proper ****
dough
plasticine...
  ooh baby i bus you drive
a train like a stroking my lion's mane
i want to love i love i want
to love i just love
i hate and torture in the shadows...
i got the ego walking on the moon
and the id as earth
and the son as god
Puerto Ricans island
Economics
mythology Reyla:
your mother is Aztec
Mayan
Inca...
            tell me of the other feathers
and gold:
now i see hope now i rip out ****
******* ****** two by tow by two...
black girl spells
out N I GG E R
S snigger: i sniggered: like daredevil
daffodil....
                         that wide ***
those **** the shower scene
and she shaves her *****
so i can eat her out without
a romanticist mouse and tash: rash: Ottoman
barber:
like a blade to the neck
and i trust them
the Valhalla of the Janissaries
and the Herald of the Hussars: Winged...
and as much of neck
as my hand will allow
and lips and tongue to the ear:
both your ears
a father erotica
with a brother i **** my sister
because the anti-****** is
****** first...

i against i: finally the deadlocked passed
i stopped wrestling with my mind
and gave it all up for the calling of the heart,
plane tickets booked
27th February through to 7th of June
a long layover at San Francisco: jeez!
i'll get to see sightsee the mainland of
America for the first time
13h45 minute transfer from San Francisco
international to Oakland Colliseum Aiport
and a ride tram through the city
oh what time will it be daytime or nighttime
i wonder past the Prison Planet Alkoonze
and maybe the Rock too
because i have a thousand snakes in my head
but only a pitiable worm in my heart
yet the worm is more powerful than all the snakes
put together to make a dragon
yes i am reborn and so much and such is my joy
that i can't even get drunk on 70cl of *****
and a drag of a joint
my joy is too great it is a joy a gravity
this worm in my heart
is the fruit not allowed in Eden
because i wonder if the story is told with Eve
plucking the apple and the natrual harmony
set in with the apple bitten into
and technically making the worm living in it homeless:
all the other trees didn't allow for parasites
to make their fruits home
that's why the serpent was guarding the tree
because it had other living creatures in it
while the other trees didn't...
and if this is the fruit of my labours said the serpent
let me ask a childish question
about life and energy and reincarnation
because once this dynamic rules
this dualism of the cosmos:
the worm in the apple becomes
the serpent on the tree
and vice versus i return to the apple as a worm
and the worm replaces me
such is my tedium and revenue...
now i can feel the cunrches in my stomach
and bile in my mouth like Beelzebub asked:
what, no me?
Azealia Banks - 212 ft - lazy jay...
this is party baron Beelzebub it's like the music
must be switched on...
the disco must go on and the streets need to be piled
up i want to see how authnetic is the **** Holy City...
i want to see the junkies
i want to see how far the Liberal Distopia does
with terms of rabbits
then on my return i'll stop over in New York
West Coast first then East Coast
looking through the telescope
of the beast of the seas
on Hawaii...
i'll bring back the beast of the earth
and return her like a Potato to the old continent
then i'll call over the Russians to call over
the Chinese to call over the Mongols...
then we might move to ask the Japanese
to team up with the Taiwanese and replicate
the Great Migration of Polynesia...
that ancient travel that is more admirable than the migration
of the Jews and the diaspora of other tribes...
i'm coming to America: i feel excited: Gandu Gandu...
i'm going where you bothers and brothers from Asia
and Africa will find it hard to find and me perhaps
hard time for banana boats to reach Hawaii.

jon fosse "slow prose" can actually
become munition
and target practice on lazy poetry:
unlike what Joyce or Beckett
and other rigid post-modernists
envisioned so heavily edited
to perfection for print...
                i must be solely surviving
on Scandi- lit-
       because from fosse
and knausgaard and kierkegaard
    i'm not evening reading English writers
but transcending English
back to the roots: German and heidegger
and kant and i can't stand
all those pedantic **** English sensibilities
with their corrections facilities
for the natives that used to be
the Welsh and the Picts and Irish...
i actually hate the Scots for retaining
only their funky tartan dialect
and unlike the Welsh not having their
own tongue... Chamberlain capitulation!
proper fuckery and self-suffocation!
but yes... yes yes:
all for the sake of the "union"... blah.

ḥave some or
a cockey
apostrophe 'ave some:
oculus per oculus
because i'm this
close to the fire
and all i need is some sulphur
to give it the proper stink!
my belly full of *****
is: the lake of fire and here i am
king slither and king worm
that championed over the serpent
the worm that ate the serpent
that became the disfigured
dragon.

i'm a pagan: i was born yesterday...
please try to convert me:
but as much as i adore the logic sustenance
of Latin letters in the dynamic
of Hebrew thinking
i can't join the tribe:
such is their exclusivity anti-racism ha ha...
my choices... hmm...
become a christ-*******
or Allah's **** all in *****...
******* in prayer
***** up in the air, gentlemen! like
you just don't care! who-ah!
oh the release of emotion with those letters:
better than any sing-along surah
no mantra conquers: who-ah!
Al Paccino style scent of a woman: who-ah!
ooh: i'm getting the jibbly-fiddlets-poonnanie...
remind me: a long time ago:
if an atheist met god:
the god of the eaters of gods
the semite god eater
the yahweh who ate up Baal... etc.
and then tried to conquer, quelch, quench...
YQWQ the yaqwuq...
the darkest bride of how impartial
the yahweh was
with Adam and Eve
to split that headache of the siamese
twin Æ...
      oh but these are not mere hieroglyphs:
nature happens:
so do mutations...
suppose you throw a sacrificial lamb into
this slaughterhouse of ideas:
you think: poor semite...
improvising with the Greeks
you might conquer Rome
and... and... at the same time:
conquer the north with your milḥemet mitzvah?
us pagans would not secure rooting
in ontology etymology and
the likes: there would be no mythos ascribed
to us?
perhaps the Slavic gods yawned:
but Europeans retained the Nordic influences
so stressed for children
in cinema with Thor and etc
because Zeus was too Henry II
Angevin etc etc
        the god eating other gods
had indigestion and outright coinstipation
when dealing with the pagans of the north
it had to breed tremedous intellect
of individuals:
blindly walking north to the chimney of
Auschwitz
with the crucified son
that conquered the realms of Huitzilopochtli...
humming i hum too:
like a rainbow *******
a head that arouses Salome...
        so he sacrificed his son to create the zombies
of the north: these pedantic *******
oops and oosies
yet a memory of Odin remains...
it's even pop...
couldn't digest these gods: not even with your
crucified ******* christ and added
to spice some salt mumbo jumbo
of kosher pork and the Islamic peoples
threw their own stink into the matter
this hitchhiker no celestial worthy
no... if that wayward projection of a people:
imagine the Jews as Dwarfs in the
Lord of the Rings... a people displaced:
but how else would you encourage conquering
a people's spirit and their mythos
with your own and leave the ground
so desecrated with secular atheism
     this ******* this worm of a womb
like i told Edie though:
i'm trying to reimagine the brothel:
but i can't... because the best ****** come
out of the church...
a crusade here: a jihad over there...
          but if Jesus was just the standard to
give allowance to the "father"
to go as far as to eat the gods
sculpted in marble of the Greeks: who did take
the hook and sinker:
why are we still reminiscent of Odin
and Thor and Loki? and popularise them?
maybe i'm all looking awry...
the consecrated son of conquest:
but beyond the Roman Empire there were
the unforseen nomads, barbarians of the north...
i believe in the organic deity that
is at fault and also dumbfounded by
the grand awe of the yawn of indifference
that is the cosmic verse:
like oasis and the verse
like blur and reef: four brit-pop bands...
notably the latter bands had two songs
better than the former:
better man and give me your love...
i'm still searching for that poem i left
Edie in shrapnel(s)... purposively plural by choice:
oh jeez these pink communists
are driving me mad these stone-suckers
i'm being drilled... to expect so much more
from people i hardly want to talk
to them...
    each night shift i return home all
coked up on insomnia i see these lethargic
lice and dumbo doughs
and it just wakes up a Vlad the Impaler in me
and i think that being impaled
would be a better sacrifice: seriously? just crucified?
how about two weeks spent being
impaled through the **** up to the throat?
did he? die for everyone?
i'm pretty sure Judas died for himself
sure as **** he hanged himself before
Jesus was crucified...
           unless the current state of affairs
in England is no longer
****-
            hyphen! hyphen! prefix! prefix!
ugh... -stani     suffix! hyphen! suffix!
tender little lamb to the slaughter of my verbiose
cunning... some more some more
all the other littles...
                  but like one Ukranian girl said
to me: so these gang rapes and all...
i couldn't get a **** out of an English girl
even if i wanted to...
these was the French Grenoble exchange student
the Australian, the Russian girl...
now i have to fly all the ******* way
out to Kauai (in Hawaii) for some smooch...
but an English girl? no...
and i hear of these ****- **** gangs
of eager 15 year old English girls and i'm like:
huh?! seriously? that easy?
just give them candy and botox then
pour some petrol on them and tell them
you'll smash their teeth out if they don't ****
your blistered skin ****?
  wow... that easy?!
            the Ukranian girl just said: so...
where were those girls' parents?
           i don't know: i'm sure i wasn't there...
so for these Pakis to get all that freely available
jelly and juice and here i am
having to fly over 7000 miles to **** a girl
in Hawaii...          great...     super...
thank **** i'm not English: to begin with.

the geocentric remodelling of the human psyche:
two eyes in the sky
apparently a bad omen is seeing the moon
at noon: although that's perfectly so in winter:

a geocentric levelling of what once was...
i checked and as far as i remember
Richard Dawkins stated that he
was confirmed:
i wasn't too sure whether Confirmation was
solely a catholic rite of passage
but apparently the Church of England
does confirmations...

luckily for me i'm not a "hypocrite" or rather
a lackey for some intellectual cause
like atheism
but unlike the collective atheism of communist
states: this pathetic individualistic
scribble doodle-dah-d'oh...

i was born yesterday
i'm a pagan
i adorn myself in night and pareidolia
i employ dreams to rip through the fabric
of reality:
and there are dreams where you dream
of words
and that's called obfiscation
i'll check the meaning of obfiscation now...
ah U: obfuscation...
               that's when you dream of words
because images are so clear
and pattern solving
like reading colours at the traffic lights
and when you are permitted to move...

from an early age i read about the Gnostic heresies
in my catholic school of Canon Palmer
Seven Kings, Essex...
i'm surprised they had a book on Gnostic heresy
so publically available
but like any horcrux or volatile materials
like magnesium or sodium
saturated in moth and webs and obscurity
just waiting there like a phantom with daggers
for teeth: this miasma of sweet death toll
this tonic for the intellect:
and then match gnosticism with paganism
and ask the monotheistic religions
who is willing to convert me
then again: don't bother...
i can't belong to the most exclusive club
within monotheism
i can't be Jewish i don't come from Hebrew
stock
i can't be circumcised i don't even know
why they bothered to baptise me
and give me a Hebrew first name
my actual name is of Germanic stock:
my second name is probably my truer name...
now if i were confirmed i would actually
choose a third name for myself...
i think i would have chosen Gideon,
or Asmodeus... something along those lines...
or maybe some other...
but i didn't ask to be baptised...
just like the marriage of Poland and Lithuania...
and why paganism in Europe was still
alive somehow having missed Lithuania
by a stretch of
while the Muslim Turks were sacking the delight
of wisdom in Constantinople
the failed third crusade and the disgruntled Germans
because Barbarossa died in the most comic
way that the pickle barbarossajuice finally
reached Jerusalem
decided: maybe we need a crusade up north
and how did the Russians become so orthodox
and self-assured
maybe it's true what they say:
Christianity is like Communism...
              they always have that idealistic argument
of: but it wasn't true Christianity...
it wasn't true Communism...
        the **** was i baptised for? did i ask to be baptised?
clearly no: since in my youth i already
decided to not be confirmed...
   technically i can't take marriage in church:
it's this stretch of imagination and clinging to authority
oh jeez... pride? i can't be guilty of pride...
i can be guilty of wrath:
i am short-tempered: unbelievably so...
but that's also what makes me tender:
a short temper tenderness
i use anger to exhaust myself and bring fruition of
that exhausted peace... but that's enough about moi...

two eyes in the geocentric model...
i see myself walking on the ego of the moon...
with the sun as god
                     and i return my gaze back to earth
and see the id...
and there is no superego to mention
until i make my descent back
from my delegation as the psychenaut...
weird: the Russians called them cosmonauts...
the Americans astronauts...
cosmos and the Astra
ex Astrum...                  astrology astronomy
cosmology and a jumble hiccup of etymological
fetishes to arrive at the suffix -naut
from nought?
                    -naut disrupts the intelligence of AI...
hyphens are not recognised in artificial thinking
via the immediacy of AI interruption
of algorigthm... which is now very recurrent:
prior to algorithms were not equipped
with AI capabilities...
but since then: algorithms have been imbued
with AI...
                      and i did ask Monsieur Chez Chat
about the difference between AI and
algorithm... so we're on good course...
              ah: ναύτης - sailor...
                              then i must be a... soul...
navigator...
a...

                   ψυχήπλοηγός

psychiploigos...            depending on the context
of meaning: with at least two letters having
the same sounds
the meanings must differ:
notably why the eta (η) is exchanged for the iota (ι)
and there being not only
the omicron (o) and omega (ω)
but also the upsilon (υ) - oh ooh ugh...
that's being very blunt...
the ingenius recommendation of bilingualism
and not actually learning a third language
to the working faculty but
out of interest...                           psy-ché
(but not Ché like Guava Ger...
   ***** type of e off é...
                   so no psu...         psy-like-sigh
and the psigh...         hmm very much a riddle
but of sounds... the dyslexic bother:
yes... we spell knight night nigh and ought
for thought although V and F
     are there too)
                            psy-long-i-that's-y
   and why i don't know but such is the concentration
of meaning:
i have this long poem i left with Edie
in its infancy i think i'll get back to it at some
point...

might ask a ****** about the relationship
of i to the długie "i" that's a jot (j)
then might ask and wonder:
why do the Polacks have... a Greek style
name for a letter that's Y namely IGREK?
unlike all the other letters:
the Poles have a name for a letter...
like the Greeks used to have a name for aLPHA
and bETA and oMEGA
and uPSILON
             the Poles didn't adopt... ooh wait!
it's like the Easter Egg phenomenon
of a computer game...      perhaps we didn't
adopt the Greek into Cyrillic cheap-oh so *******
wong that alphabet looks
so ******* hacked... ugh...
so the Poles paid tribute in Latin to the Greeks
and gave one letter a Greek accent of influence:
Y is named IGREK...
                           spell that otherwise phonetically
in English... otherwise...
only in these dark perverted times in England
can something remotely thrilling emerge
on a page from this obscurity on the outskirts
of Loon-Don.