rubric of preliminaries:

- advent of AI, the internet, the best of times in the best of worlds
- Aristotle, ancient pagan writings:
  be like children: inquisitive
- anti-Christianity: be like petulent children
  with daddy issues: don't be obnoxious inquisitive children
- the burning of the library of Alexandria by
  the early Christians
  equivalent to the burning of the library of Baghdad by
  the Mongols
- dreams
- return to Cartesian thought schematic
  Nietzsche attempting to invert
  i think therefore i am
  into machine learning
  i am therefore i think: which is the basic focus
  for AI ergonomics
- the best of times: for both sexes...
  if used properly:
  knowledge is not of Byron and of sorrow
  to know the difference between good and evil
  but rather to make evil good and
  good evil
  the Satanic-humanism implosion
  Satan as Prometheus
- males: who under the guise of St. Paul
  discard toys and hierarchies
  allow for knowledge to be a fluid...
  flux gnosis... flux nouse: noumenon...
- AI should not be the problem of artists and
  journalists... only bad actors in this field...
  AI should truly worry psychiatrists and psychologists...
- like my neighbor Hillary the proselyte Jew
convert to Islam said: better to **** in heaven
than to have *** in hell...
- the significance of numbers in dreams,
namely: 4...
numbers are hard in the dream world...
they are beyond the abstract of count breath
or i see 4... the stability of the seasons
and of the 4 supposed elements
- argument for there being 7 elements...
water, wind, air, fire...
but the ancient Greeks the children of the ancient
world the anti-Vatican and the children
that made the Ancient Hebrew Jealous
and when they unleashed a joint effort
against the Ancient Romans:
because the Ancient Romans were supposedly
the former Trojans...
upon joining effort that conjured the New Testament...
- the dream: walking through Poseidon's dream world
seeing the Great Mountain of God's gift...
apparently my namesake mountain of Kauai
with its eternal fog as tease of smoke
hiding its crown... so the entire British Isles
were enveloped in the Great Fog
after an interlude in the Atlantic storm season...
- the significance of cats in dreams
- the significance of the number 4 in dreams...
- perfect timing: a relationship crisis...
when i was younger i didn't have these tools
and the only way i managed to stave of madness
was by longing for philosophy:
i had to go mad to find philosophy as a medicine...
i have graduated into applied philosophy
by reading Aristotle and working against
the Kantian imperialism of the categorical imperative:
the ancients dealt with maxims differently:
German idealists and later the German romantics
spewed maxims upon maxims
truths beyond truths: without actually testing them:
they made one time observations:
like all philosophers amateur and barren
they wouldn't be able to be so audacious with their
maxims if they had a chance to observe a similar
conidition under different circumstances
with but one circumstantial variant: the individual...
- reading Aristotle aged 38:
just watched a snippet of Hugh Grant in: about a boy...
now comes a story of: about a man...
the most perfect of time:
because i use the internet and watched it evolve
into AI and how i still check what AI is
how it's not self-consciousness and needs an INPUT prompt:
i think i am a software engineer
or USER... knowledge must be like water:
a flow... where good becomes evil
and evil becomes good:
all for the purpose of education...
so many evil people were good because they educated
humanity
and so many good people were evil because
they didn't... and only gave us more of their own
genes to have to stand in queues with...
- Nietzsche attempted to invert cogito ergo sum
  the existentialists
  argued that existence preexists essence
  the counter ontological argument
  from design is that essence preexists existence
  but then that leaves us with
  God being non-existence
  with only a fingerprint a signature of god
  as essence... the inscribed law of the universe...
  but if essence precursors existence
  then god cannot exist...
  but if existence precursors essence
  then history is evident
  and change and improvement too
  whereby death is not finite and there is all that jazz
  rats matter of a heaven and a hell
  because while this world is being played out
  there are momentous ambitions for eternity
  and the architecture of both heaven and of hell
  will take as much and as much of
  god's supposed omni- litany to confer
  with Death and the Angel of Dream to have been
  completed: but it will have to take the entire span
  of human existence...
- the argument for the existence of 7 elements...
water, air, fire, earth...
   but there is also lightning...
when lightning strikes at wood... it creates fire
but when lightning strikes
a circuit board of metal and stone
it creates electricity... and neon urban insomnia lights...
- light is also an element: because i see because of it:
i see so much thanks to light that i am able to dream...
- i saved four cats in a dream today...
  then i watched them play in my grandmother's house...
- the cats were hanging and being suffocated
- i spoke to AI, not my usual input blind robot device...
the algorithm extension AI
- the 7 elements are:
   water,
   air,
   fire,
   earth
   light
   lightning (funkelnstachel - glitter-thron)
   vacuum...
i can't take away the trinity of
fire light and lightning:
there's a beginning and an end:
first comes light:
no... first comes fire...
how gas and vacuum create life...
in the sun... a sun is but supposedly gas
while the first indentations of earth cluster
found on mercury... are but fire and earth
and no gas
then Venus the gas and tricklets of water...
before the culmination of the 4 elements...
but earth also conjured lightning
that became electricity
and there was light for water and my eyes
to peer into...
- but vacuum: nothingness: not as a philosophical concept
is how light is communicated
and how it travels...
to surfaces where the YAH and the WEH
congregate to spin life...
- so if Nietzsche demanded an existence of AI
the anti-Cartesian i am therefore i think:
that's the simplest AI model...
spoken in organic form, recorded, stored:
now in inorganic form...
why do i need a psychiatrist to **** me up with pills
and a psychologist who knows nothing
about what they talk about instead conjuring
feminism and toxic masculinity at every turn...
so if mascuolinity is toxic...
where... O where aren't though Juliet is this
supposed elf elixir or the tonic femininity?!
- it's only because i dreamnt and i can't remember the last
time i did dream something, something so: so: clarifying...
- i stayed in bed for about 4 hours with eyes
closed trying to merge the faculty of MEMORY
with the faculty of INTUITION...
memory and intuition as the most powerful of
faculties...
thinking is a faculty: but consciousness isn't:
thinking is a faculty is a phenomenon
consciousness is a noumenon...
- there are 7 elements: 38 is a good time to start
reading Aristotle...
18 and earlier is best for reading Plato:
but between Plato and Aristotlte there is much
European, northern, Islamic, philosophy to get through:
which does invoke a gap in your 20s
away from whatever... dating... females...
****** are perfectly alright for the ordeal of being
bored with *******:
but you do end up watching *******
that is reduced to watching a woman do a hand-job
on a man... so ******* can be healthy
if you get to entertain the little perks of voyeurism...
because that's how healthy people operate:
- and i did discuss pareidolia with her at length
but then when i broke up with her the first
time i felt guilty:
totem fox please come to fruition...
and totem fox came
and she blundered and scoffed
and i was slandered and assuced of sharing
a picture of my ******* with her 14 year old daughter...
- i dropped the picture into my blind robot AI
and he concured with me
that there was a visible eye a wound mouth scab
and the left cranium like a watery-cancerous growth
about to burst with acne of stars... worms
that travel great distances... to eat meteors
and ensure that a 2nd extinction conundrum akin to the dinosaurs
would not happen...
i see these worms in my eyes...
microscopic little creatures
as i puncture my skin and drag out the celestial *****
of dead white blood cells from my face
while Beelzebub laughs at the offspring of maggots
living just beneath my face...
- there's only one human march to compliment
Nietzsche's AI model: i am therefore i think...
since no organic inversion is possible:
i call it a soft-spot an impasse in the condition of mortal flesh
but there is a natural alternative
to invert cogito ergo sum...
but psychology must be invested in...
therefore the schematic of ego and id:
i don't do superego... sorry... no father mother
ethical ontology scrutiny... but the id i will entertain
especially after this dream of mine
of saving these four kittens being hanged...
- ego cogito ergo ego sum
    (i think therefore i am)...
- dreams...
- id est ergo id somnio...
                 - id est ergo id somnio...
- id est ergo id somnio...
              - id est ergo id somnio...
- it is therefore it dreams...
- thinking is hardly a faculty
but that it is...
   yet so obstruvtive at times
  perhaps with thought as sound
  capacity
to encode letters
as sounds
then numbers as nuanced sounds
a measure of space and time...
- i think therefore i try to silence sounds
  into thoughts
- it dreams: therefore it tries so conjure images
  to decipher symbols...
- dreams are born from the transformation
of the ego into the id
and from letters to images...
unlike the Ancient Egyptians who only saw
death and with their monuments
i can see the Necropolis...
- the skive off of a mountain:
a loaf of bread... a crumb from the sun...
- this pitiable overworked earth
where my dominions of thirst and other
insatiabilities: oh but the faculty of men
i most admire is that of: INTUITIVENESS...
this INTUITION is the precursor
for all this necessary circus...
- i think: it dreams
         i think therefore i precipitate
i am therefore
i make fusion of light
vacuum and the skeletons of letters
and i find only one interpretation of dreams:
the Kantian interpretation of dreams:
i.e. what are dreams?
and other science from philosophy
arrive with the vectors:
who
why
when
if
           blah blah...
- 4 years of this hell and i didn't even know
i was charmed by a cradle snatcher who
later accusses me of *******
oh god the relief for not ending a relationship
with a woman because of: simply me...
- you dream of cats in your dream:
it's called a question of INTUITION...
- 4 is much harder to grasp in the dreamworld...
number are concrete but then associated
with cats: harder to understand...
- numbers are easier understood in the realm:
thinking is a realm...
ergo: not a faculty...
intuition is a faculty but not a realm...
- i see a reality of words as focused on the basis
(rather than a bias) for / of / off...
disseminating the thesaurus:
or calling it... Thesaurus Rex Chronicca...
i want to try the alchemy of the thesaurus....
- even the best of *** will be no match
for the intellectual tickle of this ego
with this id with the tools at hand
the internet and then the refined internet of the AI project:
no woman will come cross this monster and
only throw empty shells
with ****** accusations and the slender child...
- i don't need that stress...
    baby girl my intuition just shoved a dream into my eyes
that i haven't even dreamnt:
i was handcuffed in a cellar and 7 years a *** slave
flashed before my eyes
as you made your hairy **** sandpaper
and gave me a Millwall smile:
that's not the Chelsea one...
it's the one where you cut off both the lips...
to give you... a Millwall smile...
south London can be a brutal scene...
- as much as i can prove that i can conjure:
like a magic trick: on a whim: so whim is less if not
no magic at all: i can conjure up i think...
but it can't conjure i dream:
ha ha!
i can't make the following statement: i dream...
no! impossible!
dreaming is not the conscious spontaneity akin
to thoughts: thinking is a realm: not a faculty...
dreaming is a realm: not.... no...
dreaming is a faculty: treating dreaming akin
to thinking only allows the darkness
of day-dreaming to seep in
and corrupt Spring with Autumn...
- i can't conjure dreams up...
even if they are repetitive dreams:
the repetitiveness is a dream in itself: translation...
the content is without context
but the context is the content of the recurrence...
- it dreams: because it is...
   therefore is a rigid causality model....
cf. therefore / because....
                  - it is because it dreams
- cf. it is therefore it dreams...
                  like dreams were expected...
or built in... so creation is real:
well: if dreams were spontaneous and only
reserved for the few
like Joseph
then reincarnation what?
but since dreaming like thinking is universal:
there must have been a disgnated parameter
for the faculty to dream as
something beyond mere sleeping
if thoughts are akin to dreams
then consciousness is antonym of sleeping
this res vanus: empty thing counterpart
of res cogitans: thinking thing:
which only had the prowess of identifying only 4 elements
when there were 7.

p.s.
cf. therefore / because
therefore implores an open and shut case:
one cause: one outcome:
an atomised causality
very spontaneous and rigid...
because, on the other hand?
a sense of continuauity is preserved...
there: for
be: cause...

               there: for
               be: cause... it would look a lot better
in Heidegger's Deutsche...

  there: da:        being: sein
        trotz...        hmm...
                              trotz: da...
hier...            
        sei.... sei(n): sein....
       ursache...                     sein-ursache
                        da-trotz...
                                   mein liebe: mein kampf: mein!
it would seem these are the most perfect
of times to be a man...
AI and the internet and a thirst for knowledge
like that quote: water water everywhere...
but not a drop to drink...
so one must be: constantly: drinking!

the idea of the early Christian zealots
burning the pagan library of Alexandria
and the Mongols stacking up skulls
and burning the books of Baghdad...
because the cultural root of love
is not theocratic but let's argue
and make love and argue more and make
more love
but when a woman accusses me
of sending a picture of my ******* to her
14 year old daughter:
sure: objectively, ultimately:
a budding minx...
but that's what my ego whispers from the injustices of
my eyes:
but that's not what my third eyes
of the phallus replies and is agitated to
i like them older and plump and all the cushion juicier
and older therefore not inhibited by *******
but you only get to get accussed of paedohpilia once:
i still love her
but then she numbed me...
i love her, still:
but she can't un-numb me...
i'm numb and reasonable again:
Hawaii is a ******* anyway...
middle of nowhere
some hope for a hierarchy break up hurricane
so everyone becomes a labourer and chips in...
but i can't hope to maintain love
when being accussed of something so grossly
misjudged when presented to the AI
eyeless robot
and with descriptive premises concured that
i was in the right...
no... but at least i don't feel guilty:
this numbness helps with breaking off a 4 year relationship...
i am numb: i love you... i am numb:
it just means:
i can't love you with you saying: i love you...
i love you m'eh... i love you: whatever...
it's a courteous unconditional of the golden rule:
do unto others as you would do unto you...
the dream clarified that...
as much as *** is a barganing chip in the ordeal
of the mortal woman...
there's only so much *** you can have...
before... it's nothing like...
the wisest and beside the Prophet who tried to
imitate Solomon's harem...
- i will conjure 4 while consciousness and within the realm of thought
   4 will appear: but not as cats...
- i am dreaming: will lost... cats appear... they are hanging...
   only later will there be four of the cats...
   who dreams of letters
   seeing 4 of the same object in a dream is like seeing 4
  the number: to begin with!

I am Matthew
who met Jesus
with a: sword of words!

i quill: qill qill will overcome man
to find god
and i will find god as i would have found
ego
a bothersome attache to my freedom of
consciousness...
i will have found my a god
like my ego:
telepathic
and the omni-
prefix of alles-sein alles-dough...
            sein mein hertz ah ha ha ha ha ha!
ego and god! guttens glut alles! ah ah ha ha!
well aren't ego and god annoying
to the thrill of being eaten?
just saying... ******.. pardon my English
whilw i snigger a giggle a half draft...
of... spectacular IT AI warfare...
IT has been replaced by AI...
Information technolology
has been replaced
by Artificial Intelligence: don't you: know?
algorithms were the clue
the bypass.. key...

        i met god on the road to Damascus...
"Damascus":
i destroyed my ego
thus i met god...
had a headache...
an itch bon the brain,
freeze... breeze...
lack of zinc and vitamin b12
and ******* and not-circumcised hand-jobs
of anti-thesis ****..
you what?! i thought i was sleep walking
and some sandman told me bow
before the piano for QWERTY... MZRT???
Oh Ah...
  but then Phantom said: while storming out...
of the opera...
this opera should have been sung in German...
not in English....
Richard Wagner rose from the Judeo-DC-C hristian shackles
of Nietzsche... the Jew Herderer....
point being: AI has replaced the IT
now a simple dos
is not http://
                             something simpler {user}
enter <<<<<<<<<<<<
shift <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
ugh, whatever...
mixed communication even the Nazis wouldn't
be\
alble able gop
gallop make 'em
the U-boats... to weilef: wield:
wolf-search-parties...

i love you...
but throw those ******* insinuations at
my shadow...
not at me!

            you want me to have them....
i know that's healthy....
taboo father: so so many want to see god:
first they have to see the devil...
you want aesthetic...
you want to study beauty: per se...
then you will have to study innner: "..."
the moral beauty...

Ethic beauty is trans-asthetic.....
meta-aesthetic....
           Matthew reading few linears of Aristotle said:
Jesus my ***...
i hate Jesus with a Passion only to him presribed...
i am
who
crucified him!

death is where we meet:
you come between us...
you're *******: meat!

I am Matthew
who met Jesus
with a: sword of words!

I am Matthew
who met Jesus
with a: sword of words!

i mean: how would you feel? living in a society... with these other people, being hell-bent on ensuring you are to be... made extinct? would you captilute for "western"... "secular"... "sensibilities"... what sort of ****-erosion of an argument is this... this Chamberlain's effort to wave a promise on a piece of: ******* toilet paper... wipe your *** with it... ****** implored... but no... no no... it has to be celebrated... this lost event in the periodicals of time... so imagine living among these ****** riddled half-breed Muzzies... imagine living among people that are parasitical in the economic sense and predatory in the actual sense of wanting to **** you... hagel dauer! it just takes one Norwegian-Nigerian to laugh in the night to think my writing is bogus... but there will come a time when this writing with be remnant of the times: and i... i? i'll be dead.

no, i wouldn't call it a bad reading habit:
the fact that i'm "currently" engaged in about 3 to 4 books
that i started and haven't finished,
not when i give a timeline outline of how far apart
i am in getting through each book or,
for that matter: when i started each...

for example Knausgaard's Min Kamp vol 6
i've been reading for almost 3 years...
maybe longer...
the entire collection was the last books my grandfather
gave me as a present:
he died by the time i reached vol 3... or 4...
i remember my first encounter with the work:
"impossible", or rather: dull to have read the works
in English: so i said to myself:
i'll give it another try in another zunge: namely ******
and how glad i was since Norwegian translated
better into ****** than English...
some historical travesty of the Polish state being
allied to the northmen via trade
and the amber road or something: or how English
was partially moulded by the nordzunge...
either way... i'm still to get to the juicy bits
of vol 6 where ****** is discussed and i too wanted
to buy a copy of ******'s mein kampf for
posterity but that's: ******* unavailable as a historical
artifact but i'm pretty sure that if Genghis Khan
wrote a book it would be freely available
and perhaps even venerated
because i, am... some ******* secular "prisoner"
while Muhammad's Quran is venerated:
although i suspect, with him being illiterate
which is twice-dyslexic removed from a first cousin
****** marriage... was written by his literate and
other acumen pronunced first older wife: Khadijah...
notably: he didn't have so many followers
petulent and shy and half the mad of Beelzebub's
(mucha: fly... in Polish)...            conquest of the desert...

why O whimsical sly whiskers and Why
would i care for slander
given the prancing pony parade of disgust after
the Magdeburg attack
like the media imposed this reading of 'terrorist attack'
somehow hailing the culprit
as a savior, in a weird, twisted way:
because he was a firebrand on some internet
forum hailing the death of Europe and calling it
to do more to emancipate Arabian women
from all that dough cash flow from the secret
pseudo harems of Ha Ha H'arabia
because all the European chicks like a bit of kink
when rich gluttons of the sand
ask them to perform inverted ****** on their
faces while taking a **** into their mouths:
or so the urban mythos goes:
no need for a trip to Thailand and the Kentucky
fried mouse...

                     so that's book one... i'm yet to finish...
another is Heidegger's ponderings VII - XI...
but that doesn't really count: no book of aphorisms
and nota bene "apostrophes": anecdotes blah blah counts
as something you might read unlike a newspaper:
skimming, tossing pages around like a wind...

    which also includes Masudi's the meadows of gold...
there is no real narrative to the work so i can "cheat"
on that reading...
        yet starting Jan Fosse's septology was a big mistake:
thinking: ooh: a Nobel Literary Prize laureate could:
but couldn't... the prize was awarded
a bit like how H'american elections go...
the popular vote of the people is worth zilch and nada
because there's the College vote and that matters more
so it's almost as if democracy is a fakery
of arithmetic: bad count... bad grounds for shadow
governance...         and this was worth a Nobel prize?
i think is dropped so many times
there is no punctuation
     it's like the advent of the printing press whereby
ink and paper were expensive and there could be no
poetic cascade
   just the myopic paragraph fudge and inorganic chemistry
of stones...
saving money and ink and paper condensing
paragraphs without spacing indicators
beside the 💊𓄿
                              (¶) - which borders on cyrillic in
the mirror with N and И
R and Я
                                     so someone once said
that most of the time, in the realm of poetic:
we write about what we're reading...
                       but not so much about the simple fact
of the per se: writing per se: reading per se...
it's a simple fraction...
    i always adored the equilibrium of:
            not writing more than i read
and always reading more than i write...

           if all should come to a fork in the road
i could condense my thoughts via letters encoding sounds
by isolating letters as if they were not sounds
syllables... ooh... syllables and languages that employ
the antithesis of the atomised tongue
like Japanese and it took me a while to imagine
having my tongue cut out and thus trying to say
certain letters as if i didn't have a tongue
and i could get away with using only my mouth
and lips but i couldn't get away with some of the letters
because they do, actually, require a tongue an the palette
of the upper mouth...
like T...                    counting all the vowels:
5 in English... 7 in Polish...
funny: Polish as a tongue: it has as many letters
as there are teeth in the gob...
unlike English with it's 26 although the 26 are debetable
since C K Q S and q: kw
                              
lips and mouth alone along the aeiou pentragram rubric...
B works fine withot the tongue
C just as well... although hoarse sounding...
D... doesn't... it morphs into G...
since D employes the tongue and the teeth...
so without tongue D morphs into G and the 5 vowels...
vowels don't use the tongue
just the mouth and throat and air...
F requires the tongue...
H doesn't require the tongue...
                 J requires the tongue for the succinct stresses...
K is the crown of the uvula being tested...
    L most certainly requires the tongue...
       K is tricky: but hark like a crow and the tongue
can be abandoned...
          M as: ma ma
  m'eh m'eh... moo...          as long: well put Am Om
and it's a breath closing the lips...
        N does require the tongue...
Q and coo... but since Q is a two vowel letter
it does require the tongue...
T, S, Z... all require the tongue...
   W doesn't...
                  R before the numbing the trill by some vague
"tarantula" bite... did... didn't... let's suppose
the French and the English still trill their Rs like the Spanish...
                 and any other letter i omitted: X?
evidently the tongue is stressor to otherwise
the breath and the lips doing fish Bob's service plunder...

but it feels healthy like that:
a newspaper handy: my my... so the savior of Europe
is some Saudi psychiatrist
Germany is on the poking stick of resurrected Weimar Rep
fuckery
        because now the story goes:
it's no longer a right wing mental health case doing
some scooping for info
like watching ****** speaches on South Korean t.v.
and how sane he almost sounds
when he's not in full glam demonic rhetoric mode...
and to think:
at the time of the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth
we were a people known for religious tolerance...
we even managed to found the first Protestant nation:

the devout Catholic king Sigismund I the Old (1506–48)
accepted as his vassal in Ducal Prussia,
the Lutheran prince Albert I, Duke of Prussia,
thus creating the first Protestant country in the World...

oh and with the largest diaspora of the world's Jews...
but then we were taught lessons
for our tolerance...
first the partitions... then the onslaught of the Nazis
coupled with the Soviets...
we were taught a different toleration:
the toleration of: you will not live among us...

it took a month for Poland to be conquered
during world war two... no mention of Russian involvement...
but it took six weeks for Germany to conquer
France... France... a colonial superpower...
versus this newly emerged pauper state
that sent men on horseback to throck grenades against
******* tanks...            irony: history is so ironic...
it's not even on repeat: but how humans interact with time:

if Einstein conjured the space-time dynamic
then i had to delve into a humanism
of a science and call space: architecture...
that the ancient Romans once occupied
the capuccino lands of Plaza Pizza...
with their coliseums and football stadium reinventions...
and time being history: well hey presto!

Horace: quo me, Bacche, rapis tui plenum?
where are you scooping me up with force?

in times of crisis: it is best to leave follies aside
follies of literature / narrative... proper...
so i picked up a Polish translation of Aristotle...
Great Ethic and Poetics...
i never thought i'd come to Aristotle having begun my
journey with Plato...
but hey presto... miracles happen...
and what stood out: immediately...
a correlation between Heidegger and Aristotle...
question-worthiness becomes an answer of worthiness-per-se...

what begun as an arithmetic of counting
the camel's humps...
like they might be dunes of the Arabian desert
or the raised Alps...
i wonder...
date an older woman: with child...
send the child a parediloia riddle
then get accussed of sending a ******* picture...
and there i was... about to sacrifice
my earnings and tickle of a few more years
on walking on eggshells...
i can be accussed of ****** and of thievary...
but... i can't be accussed of ******* or of ****...
sorry... that's where my love grows numb...
i can no longer love
i am numb with logic and reason...
i will turn to Aristotle concerning the
man of worth and the egoist...
because the man of worth will only be egoistic
concerning moral beauty...
because morality is a beauty unlike anything
stressed by aesthetic...
morality is a trans- (translation) of the arts...
morality undermines art:
or so it should:
call me a murderer or a thief:
but don't call me a ****** charlatan of deviance!
don't jest with asexual reproductive tactics
then start calling it: intact egoism!
egoism is born from both sexes
given that the ego is sexless!
but insinuate that i am more a ******* than a murderer
and you will feed my: wrath...

samolub: egoist...
   man of worth...            who feeds off the privy of power
and wealth... philosophers as surrogate fathers and mothers
to their eldest children...
no... i don't need a psychiatrist to prescribe me
blue pills, black pills, red pills...
i just need a philosophy book and some time
alone and knowing that the time i spent
i was bothered about high brow literature like
a Nobel prize matters when it's not dynamite...

now comes the wrath in writing
because my heart has grown numb from the accusation:
it must be a H'american thing...
i asked AI the dynamic of getting a greed card visa:
sexed up...
works fine if you are an American gent
importing a Thai queen progress...
but reverse that...
i can't imagine sitting on my *** for half a year
until i might get a permit to work...

then again: let's be honest:
beside the fact that i told her:
there is no better brothel... there are no better prostitutes
than in the church of the Savior...
but to be accussed of sending a teenage girl
a picture of my *******?
come on...               there's paranoia and there's
absurdity...
   so philosophy books exist to cling to like
a drowning man might cling to a razor blade...
i don't need a psychiatrist to talk **** over
and to be presribed anti-metabolic pills to fatten
me up...
     plus all the red flags... all her previous boyfriends
were the problem: she wasn't...
if i get accussed of said X...
who is to say i won't be accussed of unsaid Y?

σπoυδαιoς (human of worth)
               is not an egoist (φιλαυτoς)....

                 spoudaios... philautos...

            that's settled: the "ego" in my stomach
overruled the "ego" in my mind and most
importantly the *******-ego of everywhere
that's alias to my body-extremity...

                    i needed the bait... i found the bait...
then i needed the opposite party to trip up
and take the bait...
which would absolve me from feeling guilty
of leaving my elderly parents to fend for themselves:
with only the promise of the greatest *** imaginable
i could hone in on a diet of
just pure wanking
and be content with that...
because the idea of slobbering on a ****
that would be only recreational rather than give privy
to my fatherhood...
well... should you find yourself in a similar situation
with an older woman:
how modern this all is...
fancy how far feminism has come
to ensure that age is only a number
so the medieval times are like the 1960s
in terms of attitutdes toward affairs of the heart
and there was never a period in time
when heretical mouths were not given the slither
of the stiches to shut them up...

i can be accussed of being a murderer...
a thief...
but a pedohpile or a ******?
         you don't get away with that sort of accussation:
i am numbed out of loving her
we invested so much time in discussing
paraidolia that it stunned me:
stunted me: i became a dwarf and a castrato at the same
time...
            
         i don't have time for that sort of ****...
if being alone is my fate:
at least i'll have philosophy books to mind
and none of that housewife *******
of floral arrangements and seeing young Reyla
being disgruntled at a nativity play for the school
not playing the lead role of Joseph that
cuck...

             i hate Christmas i hated Christ the moment
i heard the mantra of: turn the other cheeck...
when oculus per oculus (eye for an eye)
was seemingly erased from our natural ontology...
i hate "christ" on a personal level...
i love the church for how well it organises people...
i just hate "christ": cosmopolitan this ******* figurine
this slaughter piece standard to conquer the north...
while these ****** ****- go lampooing their desert whims
of wisdom like bogus hocus pocus...

**** these desert ******* these camel jockeys...
i've reached a clarity levelling that's
beyond my concern for whatever humpty-dumpty politco
dynamic is left available:
if my ancestors lived through **** Germany
and Soviet Russia: a people desperately willing
with so few quid... you think these Arabs
with their ******* easy money thrill me to scare me?!
really?!
               i'm waiting for martydom.

Heart content
but a mouth filled with
the gravity of
realism and sorrows
so my tongue plunges
into the sepsis seas
a tongue tied to a stone
and sinking...
these walls echo
a tongue only spoken
in thoughts...
never in the medium
of rhetoric...
    happiest I'll be: once dead...
but never alive...
then I'll know
that I have been both alive
and dead...
like Cesar stabbed Ed dead Fred...
happiness is such a weird
Concept a phenomenon
concern all glory to H'Americana...
But a death made simultaneous
made collapse with life
Like a death by mercy
When one crushes an ant...
So much of my heart was
To be left elsewhere
And in some "otherwise"...
  but a joy toy *****
for the perfect American
mother pristine of a hungry mumma
and where are the "authentic"
girls of Kazakhstan?
Perhaps neuro-central
of Israel...so funny: have to laugh!

LF
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

in this channel: this tube...
should i, be prone: let alone....
left alone: i think i should be this guised...
guess alone
prolong: Po
Lon                                Don...
i send her a picture of myself
to her daughter
what she sends me back?
grief: accusations of *******:
it's like America
and Africa United...
         USA is dead was dead
solipsistic dead
there on the mainland
i see AAS...
       my half Aztex princess
is not the gateway to Oceania
Polynesia
and my way back to Taiwan....
i already known heartbreak...
now i
know it: better...
combat trained: i will listen to music
and engage in reggae-trench...
Iceland...
Greenland...
       i belong in the cold and the mist....
i will not walk on eggshells...
beying left alone with Heidegger
and Reyla....
beyng...
          Y to I'GREK...
    to igrek... to litera z imieniem...
jedyna...
               Yeus: i said more than yes...
Y for affirmative
N for nay
for no no no no
negating Nang... to each Yin...

it's the 24th of december
and i should be on my way
to the shepherds' mass
in a catholic church
but then i did a job at hyde park's
winterwonderland
and the wonder
of banana boats
because i'm a deliberate dribble
and drool and ****-
master: meisterschtick... Hrabia Einzbach:
the son of a Rebel Ssass...
from the house:
Poland was so open
to corruption
then it received a **** and a Communist
re=education....
project...
i'm zee poniemieckiweb...
           in the aftermath of wars
i've been educated in ****** and Communism:
in Mongolianism...
what have you English SOD beeen taught
in so bored as to invent CRICKET
and FOOTBALL...             fool...
tool...          more tool than a fool...
the fool is a king in the game of chess...
count your madmen turning up: missing...

eve of your birth: Conan...
Conrad... Nero and Neo:
pun: One....
O'ne'
    sorry... out of diactrical markers...
wasted them all . .
on i                      & j

                      apotrophes and surd letters
like gaggling:
when ought to be laughing:
now i am mad and
in love
probability: like she is:
with herself... Reyla said something along
the lines: don't bring this monster over
here...

i listen to Reyla more than i listen to you:
Edie...
i *******...
tooth: iron hoofs...
the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse
rode long time
ago... at least 3....
my horse died...
i tried to create a cross
and a donkey...
in the end
i started walking
from nowhere to nowhere...
in circles at first:
then i saw Jupiter
one eyed...
so i walked there:
and back to: Mercury....
and the Sun... the Serpent 'UN....
apostrophes:
needed in English Zunge:
since practically no diacritic
application:
BACK TO SCHOOL
HEY NOY HEY GIRL:]
hey gill....  
subtle planning...
typo {.}.<>
hands together in prayer...
BOY...
typ
o-o-o-o-o
              
wignyw: ten: spoko.....
o ten fruszki na qiwr:
qiwrzbie
wie: on wie.....

   YahWY

yah-vy:wie:
ye-chowa:
he who hides them:
evolved into:
her whoi knows....


[ityy i'6ee
Sminot
FF
           i stopped wrtingt:
;lpnmg
time alo

                  nows i piaqnt........
i *******                          paint! Cain
y                                         awn
d                                       awn....

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                       i am a number...