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Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
sketches...

the most tumultous dynamic of the elements
- currently - known to man
can be best observed through
the dynamic of how air interacts with water:

not in previous times was this phenomenon
so well documented with the storms
from the Atlantic battering the British isles
or the tornados of American mid-west
or the hurricanes that    "
the eastern coast

history once spoke of earthquakes
and volcanic eruptions...
Pompeii and the earthquake of Lisbon...
but these have become vague
(almost) not as frequent or at least predictable
when fire made peace with earth...
now... since the 5th element is not yet
recognised: that we live in insomniac times
that electricity is... lightning is...
not a fire: but a light...
why was light never considered to be
of elemental stature: status?

then comes the question: shouldn't vacuum
of space, also, not be, considered elemental?
why fuse human being: ontology etc
and couple it with some Promethean ambition
as if "we" were able to tame it:
who of the demigods and titans brought
down "nothing": nothingness to our benefit
like it might have been fire?

this aside...
        a schizophrenia or just a dichotomy...
or merely: "relativity"...
i was educated in science but i retracted my
education for the purpose of:
humanism...
and it's a study of vagueness in the fog and darkness
of both the void and the vague...
i'm not happy for you: but why should i be?

i just managed to read 50+ pages
of Jon Fosse's septology:
with the ****** and a couple in a playground:
first on the swings
then on the seasaw
then ******* in the sand pit...
and if i managed to get through all that
and learn not one iota worth of chemistry
concerning Mr Noble and Mrs Dynamite..
apparently i write as if i were on ecstasy...
regardless...

                 Einstein and the time-space conundrum...
in human terms, beyond the proud Protestant
perhaps even Enlightenment basis for scrutiny
how can i could translate the space-time conundrum:
bring it together...

   for something corporeal... relatable...
well... there are the philosophies that espouse...
a coupling of being to time...
Heidegger...
and being to "nothingness": Sartre...
i dare say i haven't read the work: being and nothingness
because French thinkers outside the realm
of gag **** of an unconscious wife
and pederastry are not...
ma tasse de thé...

            anyhoo...
how could i make away with a translation-confication
of concepts as time and space
and give these dimensions a human harangue of
understanding... since...
in transit: i watch these IC3 females
and IC4 males in this "disguise"
of either cannon foddler or laconic-translatable:
as goofy... lazy... disorientated....
LETHARGIC... not stupid:
just duped to believe that these people
could thrive in these nether-regions of biting
an Eskimo's hard-on *******...
  
so i came up with it:
Heidegger was big on historiology:
etc etc, etc.
so i had a thought and thought:
well:
time is easy: i can translate time into history...
but space took me a while to translate:
in terms of defining these paraphrases... ahem:
and parametres...
if time is history: on human affairs...
what is space... ah! bingo!
time is history is written down is therefore two dimensional!
what is space? three dimensional:
give or take...
who the **** knows what is Copernican north east
when you're floating in space...
so...
         what could... possibly be arrived at
given time = history...
           mmm...

               hmm...     the pyramids... the colliseum...
hey presto! architecture!
space! the finite frontier!
so if in science there's this magical coincidental
time-space dynamic...
then on the very basic: human: subjective level:
there must be a history-architecture dynamic...
which coincides with what is housed
in this way of man of his inability
to conquer time: immemorial: mortal:
till death do us part and...
eternal: the pyramids were:
i suppose... erected as a testimony to the "gods"
concernings man's arrogance
or rather:
    virility and abundance of chance...

so i came up with it...
history-architecture...
          technically: these are not arts:
but rather sciences...
or... engineering feats...

   whichs brings me to the ingenius concern for
the map of the London underground....
by now i think of the London underground map
as a would-be map of Budapest...
because there are clearly two Londons...
there's Loondon       and there's Londoon...

sly Saudi and ever more the slyer paytakers
of western media...
it would only take a supposed ex convert
like apostasy was not worse than death
in Islam:
proselyte Islamists?
and a psychiatrist?
what an ingenious new breed...
of               wankers...
                         so now tipsy-turvy we are
to get told:
like... living under the Iron Curtain of old...
because Islam in Europe is norm:
but wait...
wait until the nights and the the winters
come
and you will have the Islamic Ummah
like the Roman Empire
asking itself: via each and every individual:
why why did we conquer with
moon riddled rock?
this... night? no safety of ******* wipe
and brow...

               oh i'm living under an iron curtain:
but whereas there was once a competition
of idea:
communists with their slings and lack of...
with the capitalists and there off..
i now have Islamic freebies...
or... not so many... freebies...
          it's like unlike any like...
just ***** Arab women:
oh my god... the turnout for Hyde Park
Wonderland was amazing:
the biggest mass crave "protest" of compromise...
but i was walking around
and every time i saw a niqab?
i was shooting imaginary
bullets into those skulls..
doing a count funny
tic-tac-toe:
one down two down: three? does it even matter?
one down two down three: hullahoop
who gives a **** scarf or whatever those BINDIS
care to adorn keeping their ***** ultra-private...

but now they have the "psychiatrists" out there:
so... it's only certain if it's RIGHT WING...
but now the Islamic fuckeries need a blessing
from psychiatric nuances:
like caged animals are not simply wild:
now they're doubly mad...
so much for western cultural: ****-a-thumb:
ask a squid to pop out...
       what a load of *******...

   i'd rather live under the Iron Curtain
than under this ****!
these leeches these pompous ******* leeches!
opinionated bogus furore of
a designated class of... "intelligence"...
"education"...
          when it comes down to cannibalism...
when it does come down to cannibalism...
           i'll be thinking of a ******* recipe
to suckle at this marrow
or waste: the potentiality of the human ordeal /
endeavour.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
the day i forget my swords:
and the arms
weilding:
guarding them to use:
for 4 swords...
i'd need 8 arms...
then... and oh i wish... then...
will i grow two pairs
of wings and perform
a crucifix-resurrection:
bodhisattva...
         by then i will adorn:
two pair of wings like
a cherub:
and lay my head oh
so lightly:
into a sleep without
a dream...
      and will recite:
Ezra Pound at your expense(s).
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
having arrived with Frank O'Hara
and the american post-modernists...
i think of all these Christmas
flingy flickers
lights...
then i look at the dimmed t.v.
and the intrusion
i will get 12h sleep i hope
to imitate a cat
going from deep sleep of nothingness
to some sort of being-ness
where i get snapshots of dreams
and that's all chaos
foot down first:
a hand arrives with
a thumb
by Michaelangelo's non-proof:
if i were to rewrite history
i'd paint thumb touching thumb
not index painted touching index:
there is such a flaw in Italian...
why i'm not a painter:
i have no concept of space
but time
i have no concept of colour
but sound
i have no concept of shape
because i have a face
maestro! lounder!
these ears needs to growth deaf
i show her her and
her daughter of a demon under
my command
under my leige
and she just keeps telling me:
you sent me and my daughter
a **** pick!
what the ****?!
i showed her proofs from the AI dimension
but she's still seeing my phallus:
i don't want to understand women
because i love them too much
these are my legions: honey bear
i needed to see the underworld:
i found one child
it was a brilliant experience
i thought there would be more
but then i was the beast
in the castle
and i was seeing Korean tourism explode
because the Chinks came to witness
the beast at work...

.... in fear of retaliation by the machines...
i'll save and imitate squirrel hide
and seek...
shh shh... i'll make you come
now i see
this **** in the demon mouth
as i see your tail waggling... woman:
you are winding me up
to be a proper nutcracker
with Marquis de Sade and your daughter
****** is my black cloak of Fosse
in the sandpit from the swings
i waited long enough
Sienkiewisz, Prus
Knausgaard, Fosse: Kierkegaard...
Kant and Hiedegger...

wait... i didn't make my promise and
save it...
what if i do a QWERTY double flip with
the thumb and erase
what iu just written:
it would feel equivalent to a woman
******* in public in her car
on a hot summer day
that would be my erasure:
because you just shoot juice
i shoot ***...
i shoot babies...
now that would be a Catholic
Eucharist of the Redeemed....
these Evangelical:
****** and you are the churches that are briothels...
i never expected:
your churches are brothels:
perfect... believe me...
i needed churches to become brothels:
for *** and crux...
            save,,, retuyrn...

i promise you this:
and this is that and that is there
and there is here
and here is now and now is is...
three flowers bled
on my forehead while
i attempted to decipher my father's bad
English into an invoice:
DEpeche Moded past morse
cipher...
i love you and i don't know how
you care or ever imagine:
sharing your daughter with me...
she has her cats her grandparents
and her London freedom
why take that away from her?
sure?
what wouldn't a healthy example of
the opposite *** not make ftancacies of
those Eden fetishes of the Fruit
so well preserved...

the "temptation" came:
i chose...
have these thoughts of moral oughts and noughts:
neither i's... have these thoughts
of moral oughts:
write me a dyslexic Shakespeare...
you will know why...
or have... these dreams:
touch cloud but not ask a stone for water....
touch cloud touch the stone
salt that was: elevated from geology!
seek insight into salt:
not bread as cannibalism
blood like the orchards
of the drunkards.... oil, winter,
blood... wine...

                 see me now oh clearer:
to remedy you...
i witnessed the crucifixion:
i was a time-traveller
rolling stone....
                         if that's a **** and the **** is mine...
you are but the rolling face in the drift and draft of
birds, comma,

                  i see a face
but i can't see the geometry...
         maybe some cork, brown, colour...
but then how sound dance
upon encoding:
poets would never replace
philosopher:
that affair has been salvaged
philsoophers and monger of the tribunal
of truth-belief...
together: to gather...
zu: sein:
            don't have time with painting:
shortlived
nlink og of an eye: nike blinked...
the hunt is over...
          you working two realities
or just one?!
just one?              poor you: p[riuson
for you...

                                      i don't like
Reyla to becom3 a spider
and my bedroom her spiderweb
her /barbie....
                i don't like her feeding off
and into...
the birgin beast mentality....
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
now! ha ha! now?! now i made it simultaneous how i write: i also paint! i wr8ite but also paint! Shylo... i rename peeople: such is my power: i rename before this for: Shylo became an d Shyla he was... i forget fzces with names... but ****'s going on at gate G: matthew will go and fix it.... problems are gate A: matthew will fix it... matthew fixes it.,.. keeps talkiking abut money like a good ***...

    ...   . . . . . ? . . . .... .
      . . ... ... . !!! . o i i i i...

      j d ... ... ... . . . .. ..

envision:
not aneough
ants..,              ., ,,,,..

  ... , , ,..... ,

    Solomonon's demons:
ants....
leave this...
these trademarkers:


  .......           ...      ,:;..,,,.....

  ...  ...... .. .. . .. . . . . . . ..  . . .
. . . . . . . . .
/. . . . . .\

            anta leave these fingerprints
the gods have spoken...
i salvage what i can:
you are caterered to:
not cared for:
big dictinction:
bigger than the Big ?Bang:
which vaccuum ate as the B ig Silence...
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
3am...
i'm not on my
night shifts
i wish i was chasing
ghosts ******* with
demons
in a graveyard
than doing...
but i am doing...
silence of being...

now has come
a time
the time
to clamour for women

i see the diadem of ****
so brightly
no the time is ripe
and i asked the demons
bound to ncrephilia
why are Tao
******* these ghosts?
former flesh:
oh
how long is the marriage
to forgetting
and memory the pivot
i asked my step daughter:
why...

will you not become
a ***** star?
why will you wait for
love as an air stewardess...
why why why
will you wait? daughter to be:
your mother..
daughter dearest:
please let me exorcise
your mother:
your mother needs help...

your mother tried to bypass AI
faces...
  she thought my demon was my ****...
i will not share the pciutures
with you: i misspell\;
you get the spell:
the IDEA
PICTURE
IDEOGRAM....

mother moheer
mother to my second thrine
shrine
of the thumb
i'm
only one index short
the middle
then comees the ring ringer
fing
thing
     with a shield of gold
cumbbs on combs and the crumb
show me spounds! sho2 me music
letters!
don't blister me with images!
i want to see God in Abstract
in words an music!
letters too in images:
in silence...
in silence: my daugghter: in silence...
  Dec 2024 Mateuš Conrad
jules
the world’s got a habit
of chewing you up,
spitting you out
like a bad cigarette.
it doesn’t care
how many dreams you’ve got,
how many scars
you’ve earned.

people will smile at you,
talk about hope
like it’s something you can hold in your hands,
but they never mention
how it slips through your fingers
like sand
and disappears
before you can even grab it.

they tell you
there’s always a way out—
but you know better,
don’t you?
the exits are all locked
and the keys
are hidden in places
nobody bothers to look.

so you drink,
you smoke,
you **** up again and again,
and maybe you smile,
but it’s a lie,
a desperate lie,
just like everything else
they told you.

the truth?
the truth is,
no one’s coming to save you,
no one’s going to rewrite the rules,
no one’s going to put you back together
after you break.

you’ll just keep going,
because what else is there?
and the world will keep spinning,
chewing,
spitting,
until you’re nothing
but dust in its mouth.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
Lucifer
who became Satan
who also
became Samael...
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