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Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
so man invented gin 0.0%
and beer without
any flame...
like coffee without any caffeine...
like..
heaven is a place without time
and hell is a maelstrom of
timing issues?
seriously?
heaven is timeless...
oh... great... the constipated posit
of a place:
that's like a constriction:
a digestion practice of a boa serpent...
if heaven is a place:
devoid of time...
then hell is a time... devoid of space...
implying anyone can occupy it:
even god...
timeless god this space:
so wish you make requisite... of
a...
i finally came to acknowledge
the capacity of sharing
a bed with a cat:
only after i taught it that
i  can share a bed with a woman:
but even my mother:
calls me 16 times...
doesn't bother to leave a text
of clarification...
just 15 missed calls...
so i drink my pea protein banana milkshake
and expect to sleep until 8am going to
bed at 8pm because it's too warm
and the t.v. is no ******* fireplace...
get rudely wokened up...
what?! what?! what the ****?!
if "they" are crafting 0.0% gin...
seriously?
then i'm not even close
to drinking myself to death or a vegatative state
of affairs...
couldn't she just have:
******* texted... our flight was delayed by 2h...
women!
oh yeah: in a time of having three daughters:
i sort of, imploded:
i have my mother: daughter...
i have Edie, lover, wife, blah: daughter:
and i have Reyla:
the sanity-soma
             the reality checker: the ******* feminine
bureucrat sanity...
there is so much couch surfing
of psychology before you cave in a retaliate
with your own narrative:
because this ***** is not about to choke you:
you're the alienating enzyme
that's not monkey
because you're not even the dragon:
you're the tapeworm
and you already Warsaw that...

so the Jews thought they could leave this
place: Poland: without the fear of chimneys
and no pyramids:
like the Germans could leave this place
with the castle of Malbork:
the northern crusades and Lutherism?
seriously?! Henry the: ******* 8th?!
Henry?!
                    hen-wry? these clucks are not
worth the work of anti-bollocking?!

hello Reyla;
Reyla says: hi...           i try to imitate putting
on clown make-up make-believe...
hi.. Reyla: your monster not father
imitation: hi... Reyla...
you want some soda pop
i'm leaving you with an R rated comic strip
of a movie:
i'm just going to cycle in the dark
to get you a soda pop...
does Reyla like a soda pop?
anything else that pops? snails?
toads?
eyeballs?

oh but Reyla loved being left alone
in a house upon a hill
with Veronica and Quarus
while we went to enjoy the Phantom of the Opera
and make criticism of the English
interpretation of Mozart's the Magic Flute:
in a Spanish Wine Bar...
but i so wished to be alone
with Reyla...
at some point...
maybe at the venture to discover
Kew Gardens...
i wanted to be alone with Reyla...
but i wasn't allowed...
hence my establishing ***:
sort of... perverted...
it has to be...

                 if i can't be alone with the daughter:
in public...
this android of my ego:
then what is the simple fact of *******
this glorified *** of a Puerto Rican honey?!
if i can't be alone with daughter
that's not my bio-own...
in a big city...
     what's little ol' me with a driving license
on the island of Kauai?! seriously! seriously!!!

maybe you're the mother of giving me
the self-impromptu dynamic of clarifying my life...
maybe... just maybe...
don't you think how...
proper: there are these justifications
that can be: implemented...
and there is no current: cultural parallel:
anaology: paraphrase... imitation game...
there's the cat sleeping in my bed
and there's a child:
a finance of infancy:
investing in ideas without thoughts...

i buy *** because i don't want (the) emotional
devaluation of the interaction
focused upon having ***;
so i have ***: ad hoc: per se...
but when i have a relationship:
i sit on a volcano of Hawaii:
and say: usher in Armageddon...
so you know: i'm privy
to the antithesis of female neuroticism...
i am agitate with crafting the male:
euphoria:
and the counterfeit of psychologism
of neuroticism:
the outlet: carthritis...
hello Reyla; Reyla says hi...
sorry Reyla:
this is not your father speaking.
nightmare: ew...
i thought you were a dreamland
Swiftie! like Evlis in a cult
of sworn sheep-shaggers clothing
for wolves to laugh in;
when attired to understand the posit
of artificial intelligensia...
A.Is.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
shge al my words#;
she reads all
moynfucjkking words....
wrds....
O
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
Pontius Pilate:
redeems:
finds redemption
on
the baptism
of the Holocaust

Pontiuš
PIŁŁAT!
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
because i found a fusion of a people of the Hebrews: and Chinese Zhuangzhi atheism like the anaesthetic of being privy: to the heavenly experience... being a conversational vanguard of: proposing gimmicks... theomatoid arthritis of riciule, sarcasm: the only worhsip of humor and transcendence that can counteract the origins of humor with slapstick and by the aid of silence... i watch movies and i'm dying to see, i'm dying to see Deadpool v Wolverine... so i'm watching other movies... and i'm loving the Ryan Reynold's type of humor and my cat stretches and callibrates gymnastics in his sleep: then sort of wakes and munches on ghosts... why are the archetypes of men in modern movies so airy'ear'dough: weird?! so nice so weak so awkward and almost wheelchair bound hopeless with no Prof Xavier mountain of collapse and telepathy...

so today i watched... hmm...
i was waiting for my mother's medical supplies:
how, the ****,
can i hurt you: being 7000 miles away
and like 11 ******* hours
this strain is completing me...
i watched... Notting Hill...
the Mask...
a Syd Barrett documentary...
and something else...
new concept: an 8 day week...
4 shifts on 4 shifts off
or days
night shifts
and i think:
is work ever a drudgery...
or is perhaps religion?
work you must do
religion you may practice...
53min
Romford to Liverpool St
29min...
or the quickened Anglican train
from Southend Victroria...
then a 7min walk to Moorgate...
Northern line to Elephant and Castle:
sound London:
Millwall territory...

HUEL plant protein ingestion:
there are known to be protein alien
absorbers of motions
i've seen them in houseplants
that i forgot to water
they made me hallucinate with
movement...
HUEL: German based plant based
protein substitute
banana shake:
pees beans and Pythagoras..
i love the idea of petting cats...
but the problem is:
eating them is taboo.. no?!

lit a candle: didn't bother buying flowers:
instead bought milk:
which she persuaded me
to get a night guard clamp
and drink oat milk
and lactose free
oh wow that O and wheel...

summer is over the plants the botanical
revision clepsydra of
epilepsy this elipse
is coming round to the haunt of autumn
that's unlike summer
autumn married summer
and spring parried winter
and all the seasons were lost
to the globalised argument
of hegemony and the globalist affair:
but how the seasons married
and were no longer the four seaons
of God...

the American Jesus is not the European
Jesus is no not in the least:
the Roman Catholic:
if under the platter of a shade of ******
empowerment:
the Roman Catholic Church is the Church
of the Mother and Child:
the passion chimera of the ****** birth:
now...
build me a Church in Honor of Joseph!
show me Joseph teaching
Jesus the skills of carpentry before
he broke down and the spirits
called him and he went out into the world:
this poor dyslexic caligraphy
not quiet Socrates not giving a ****
because of old age:
i was born yesteday: let me inquire
about, Christianity...
god loves me?
so why does he punish me and allows
others to explore their counterfeits
of teasing evil
without actually knowing the true beauty
of the evil beyond the serpents
in tapeworms in parasites:
Satanic Project 2.0
no longer two serpents quarreling:
just a sack of worms!
with the aid of worms:
i will **** out that apple into a ****!
and give you the baron fruit
above good and evil:
i will tell you not of the knowledge:
but the wisdom to tell apart
sadness from happiness...
i will tell you something beyond a mere quench
of intellect when one becomes
high and drunk:
i will tell you of the difference
between sadness and happiness:
i will tell you man as Euphoria
and woman as Carthritis...
i will tell you that there is no good and evil
only the monstrosity of the grey
of day of England's September promise
of an Indian Summer...
that i will tell...

Species... introducing these two blondes
like horses for my carriage awaits...
such cheap special effects
it's lament: oh too late...
thinking about Alien: singular: masculine...
and Species: plural: feminine...
you really want to bother me out of my sleep?
my surf?
4 x 12h night shifts...
my first, earliest memory:
was of my great-grandfather being a steward
of a nursery place:
two pianos: a shadow:
building blocks...
then on my days off i will be engineering
a revision of the Colliseum...
and you are the woman
who made this hermit freed from love
wake up from slumber in his 20s...
i am quiet equipped the Chinese revelation
was simply for me: the "pandemic"...

i will pass my theory driving license
and finish off vol 6 of Kierkegaard's mangum opus
on these shifts:
if i'm not with you by Christmas...
i can only think:
you straightened out my life...
and for that you keep calling me friend...
xombie: 7000 miles and 11h away
if were weren't moving...
but are moving...
because the moon says: TIDE!
and the tides come... and the earth is drowning
in an absence of relatibility...

DAJJEH... dajjal...
i was thinking of the upside down Y and i came
across only the Greek Lambda: the Y inverted:
strange variation of thinking
about the Tetragrammaton:
LYH...
the way of Man's thinking: Yah...
the way of Woman's being: Weh...
i'm sorry: why do we have this prison of
Jesus-Mohammad these oprhans
these religious Orpheuses
these miasmas...
can't see the Jesus-Mohammad collaboration?
i see it: the question of father
like god when it comes to mary injunction madonna
and ******:
i'm asking: what about the ******* church
of the father: if the mother qualified
for governing iron maiden 200- year old grip
of power!
it's as if feminism reached into the deepest
receeding potential for man
and said: in the parody of Greek Sibyls:
we must reach
the man's potential of the work ethos:
we must enter the worldplace
to have a chance to talk to Matthew...
i'll wait... there is not vanity in be subsidising
nouns... for nouns:
say Jesus: then i'll say Matthew:
ten times.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
and i know that you know
and i know that you:
know yoyo and
i you on the nth:
you know that i know
and you know that i:
you and you
wasp
no crucifix
no garden of eden
no soft and cuddly:
but you know...
and i know...
hold cold
and miserable
sriving to live
can become
almost alien
like little boys and garden
tool fetishes
for vampire brides:
grown up stories
forgo and forget...
dragons... lizards
are afraid of insects....
at least mammals are
half
in baking a lizard brain:
not afraid of fungus:
fungus and insects?
so just this crucifix...
this serpent...
this tree...
hmm...
       good christian girl...
good... goo...
             so much darkness to divulge:
it couldn't poissibly happen within
the confines of but one shadow.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
nerwo bol:
pier watroby:
nie roby:
traby...
kurva pieklo
zazlenllo!
zas.. za was kurva GAZ!


jebena
przekrzydlo...
jablio
jablo blow *******
and eyes to heaven
poinsed:
as much as christ
is the little big tragedy
of the ******
then let me stage a 2nd crucifixion:
in space:
on the launch...

my two psychiatrists are:
your birthday is on the 17th September:
my work colleague
Chris
sorted me out
while i was rummaging through
my paper driving license...
i have a paper driving license...
i can send you all the proofs:
the English want me out!
they want me out of here!
they want me out of England:
they're kicking me out
with the Syrian Jihadi Brides
they want to task the American
immigration authority
concerning a Mischter Bond:
Baker Street and Liverpool Street
are my two favorite stations
the District and the Metropolitan Line
my two favorite colour:
claret and green...
i needed to weave the New Millwall into this:
claret and pine green...

first ached the liver
like Prometheus the historian
talking about pre-dinosaur times:
like finding something in
a monkey:
the death spiral that even cats fear
cats have nightmares:
if they see a man
being...
courtesan to the insects:
the birds then try to inquire
of the man
who is benevolent to insects:
and in insects the Crown of Creation...
the Kippahketer...

        if christ is X and you are X and that makes
the woman: christ **...
then help me, please, help me understand
the X of the christ to the Y of the man that
tries to relate to him:
in his little miseries and injustices:
hardly bitter:
consoling you:
then spending 7h listening to you sleep:
then i hallucinate your daughter's voice
through you breathing back
and she's playing with the radio
and fine tuning you snoring to a radio station...

of the Scots in London, Millwall:
of the Danes in London, New Millwall:
Scottish dockers unloading
ships then as couriers of the King James
Bible...
said unto the Anglo-Saxons:
a Saxony of all blue: azure: a Reconquista
of the Ancients and Rome
a litany of secrets...

       to reconquer the dead
and wake them from their slumber:
until there will be a friction with christ
because a second wake
would last more than 3 days and
this time there would be no resurrection
no harangue of hell:
what a? harangue of heaven: the heave?!
the air? and the light?

as maria the great grandmother one
who should have been a nun
that one: the first time i bit off some tooth...
and burned a burgundy rose
to the dark shade of bishopry... darkest blood
purple...
alone in the kitchen where she would
sit petulent and in deep prayer
constantly praying:
when my grandmother her daughter
called me: Ancimonek... Ancimonek...

new colours: to compete with the Hammers...
optics:
claret and pine green...
forget the Douglas
and the McCurryMurry...
    gay pride of intellect my oi! oi! oi!
oi!
Aussie Aussie Aussie! hoi hoi'n'hoi! hoi!
oar! my slavish friends!
roar! oar! roar! oar! arbeit macht frei!
arbeit macht frei! oar! wind! sails! sails! sails!
oar!

i'll make this a great tragedy:
i will craft me a mummy chamber
and the anti-cross!
i will craft me a shipwreck
in which rats she
chew...
and crawl with worms throughout
eternity if:
i am to sanctify Golgotha...
the anti Eden...
the Serpent so plastered the night before
that he was probably hangover
when he was crucified
that's why Judas betrayed him
because Jesus lost his Virginity at the Last Supper
with Judas' girlfriend...
so the Roman Soldier kindly asked
while... all guts and hanging:
soaking the sponge
with wine...
so... mate... how was it? having ***
for the first time?
well! ** ** **! my ******* ***... ** ** **...
Jordan Peterson
and New Christianity:
by my gnostic ambition for conservatism
and pagan enforced:
by the Northern Crusades:
bless this father this house and Joseph too...
why doesn't... anyone...
think... about... Joseph...
i'm anti-Catholic then!
i want the equivalent Shrine as the Catholic
Church as is to Mary
the same PROTEST UNIFIED with
the dignifying: not worshipping:
DIGNIFYING JOSEPH!

p.s. n.b.:
admire how the atheists
and evolutionists
fail to
admit to the Carboniferous and
        Permian periods...
even the theologians stopped
at serpents:
well if we are the sun that shines
out of god's *******:
why stop at dinosaurs?
why not explore what
dinosaurs feared
and said: **** it god: send at a meteor:
let us become homeless birds
make you creates cities
but get these ******* alien insects
out: make a cow to govern Beelzebub!
ugh ugh! ugh!

let's revise Darwinism with
the Carboniferous and Permian periods...
of ante- meta-history...
meta-history!
that's it!
Hiedegger was the right sort of alchemist
to structure my development of the 20s
with the antithesis of historiology:
beyond philosophy of writing:
the poetry of breathing
the poetry of seeing
the poetry of reading philosophy...
meta-histtory!
these tired humans these feeble snakes
and poor liars
forgot the horror of the reign
of the insects:
out comes only Beelzebub
there is no lizard:
no pet: at this point...
there are no serpents:
there is only the dragon
and arrogance
and pride
that contains
this darkest of hours when i befriended
the Lord of the Flies
who foretold me of 2000 years
of the Reign of the Lord Mosquitos...
who would call him Jesus Christ...
but in a period of gigantic maggot squirrels...
you think that:
the serpent came with the apple...
because...
he was not: ******* traumatized?!
by what came prior!
didn't the lizard come as a tongue
in the form of a serpent:
and said:
are not these birds beautiful?!
can you name them!
where was god?!
in the ******* Carboniferous and Permian periods!
among the insects:
the devil asked:
has not enough time passed O Lord
for you to come down and
witness and pray give justice
to my patience...
send me forth the best of your abstractions
within the confines of the imitations of men:
who you puppeteer
and then summon to jest as the high courts
of Karma... and Manna...
for there are two like Hugin and Muninn...
Karma and Manna...

imagine this hunger like trans-:
oh so trans...
this hunger like me imitating your pregnancy...
how long did that telephone call last?
i was lying in bed doing
the Zhuangzhi: nothing: non-doing
altruism: nothing is a pronoun:
gender and nothing as a pronoun?
nothing destroys gender
and your confusion:
nothing is the order of chaos
that orders inconsequential nothings
a pluralism of nothing
of little nothings to be an even more potent
nerve centre of nothing
as the self-cannibalism-god...
for the mercy of fame and outlandish
gestures
like: not managing mortality
and not trying to die old...

can't people ******* see a rock star philosopher!
seriously?!
no one can see the rock star philosophers:
at a time of the height of the Roman Empire...
and some outlaws stopped pillagining and ****** women
and sat down drank a little... blah blah...
seriously?!
the Genghis Khan of the intellectual realm:
that guy who would make us believe
that he's the origin: the i am therefore
i don't need to think...
**** me! **** me  Edie! you want me to fall for
this *******! seriously?!
rock star philsopher that could make his early
followers behave like the Mongols at the Library of Baghdad:
the Library of Alexandria...
burned: by Christians....

now go back: and reread what i just wrote:
that's not a request:
your heart was pounding through the first
reading:
i always wanted to explore the genre
of literature whereby people need
to re-read:
manual language:
no schematics: all manual language...
nothing fiction: nothing automatic:
not even poetry or philosophy and: over form
and modus operandi:
style... something essentially aromatic...
must be a sub-genre not yet investigated: proper...

the genre of writing something
so profound:
it ganers:
the reader to be implored
to: RE-READ... what they have just read.

because you love them:
the last mask of Jordan Peterson fell
off at the defence of Jesus Christ:
the glorified... hmm... incel?!
but Jesus Christ didn't die a ******...
that's why Judas
and the fruit was the labour of Magdalene.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2024
woman is Cathritis : Catharsis...
while man is
                Euphoria.

SNMR:
listening to a woman
you love snore
and leave you
subliminlal:
messages:
like a tier above
*******
passing ******:
or...
borrowed from
t.v.
too much privacy
exposed:
but then: tenet:
anonymity:
original sin being?
no plagiarism?
the original sin is the
sin of plagiarism...

Riddy in Kaos...
so our love is too public?
like public is some sort of
happenstance of a stolen
identity?
so i'm writing about
you while you sleep:
intereupt your snoring
with zombie love covnersations:
ugh... vampires and a.i.d.s.!
euw... not ugh: you ******* *****!

laugh a little:
forget all you can muster
for the joy already kept
in harmony of
the proper measure of things:
small dosages...
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