My heart clenches,
and quivers like my body.

My lungs are revolting,
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

There's another way,
Another time,
Another place
To echo back promises
Trickled from sand rivers,
Which not only devour,
but liberate,
The finer things
Like the dust bunnies
Snuggled where they shouldn't be
And the love they fluffed in secret

I am lost-
Which is truth.
I must be found.


But you are in between.
Leaving me bewildered.
(I wish to be found lying next to you)

I should talk less.
Feel more.
Allow this -
to be mulled over in my heart.

But, I am afraid of being real.
All I had was honesty.

They said I could be anything,
Think outside the box,
To hell with limits, burn it all way

You can buy your dreams in color
Give your heart away
Oh you just can't be
that.

no how. no way.

How Newton binds us
Laws, lives, gravity confined
Yet somehow free from floating
Drifting our souls
Way away from
What they can't (won't) love -

Lies are more complicated
Perfect for this  haphazard world
Run by a box of rules
With an orderly guise

Be what you will,
As long as it isn't

that.

I feel clarity
Slink clear into my fingernails

Today I leave my mark upon the earth,
The warm breath that shivered up my legs
Lingers in my wake.

I

Narcissistic children,
Boxed and printed just right

II

Next to the balloon
And the glue and the paints
Granting paper mache dreams

III

Pitter-patter bird steps,
What a ****** job

IV

Too small font,
too little time
Simply tossed away

My body is a battle ground of
Half and half
and whole.

If what should be is here,
where am I now?

I am as disconnected as the stars.

Expanding out of my body.
I cannot squeeze into this
Earth.


Or am I shrinking?
Folding
into that old suitcase of a
Purse, tucked away in some secret pouch.
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.

A beautiful constellation
No one has named.
Neither arrow nor bow.

Driving in the rain
Reminds me of you -
Slow drip drops.

Collisions so soft,
a violent meeting of souls.

I imagine you to be beautiful
Like the text that curls around your pages;
And you would move like your metaphors
Plain, simple, direct.
Classy.

You would surprise me
With bouquets of words -
Many of which I couldn't pronounce
Because I am young and naive.

One day, I will
Laugh deeply;
My cheeks will hurt
From holding up the corners of my lips
And I'll wish you were here.

I've been told
Delta brainwaves are empathetic -
That if I was really listening to you,
My waves would reach out to
Caress your heart,
And you'd shiver
As the warmth descended
Down your head,
Past your shoulders,
Over your *******

Like taking a steaming shower
When it's a cold and misty sunrise,
On a day where
Your bed
And your body
Snuggle against the cold,
And time goes too fast.

Step closer. Speak up.
Press into me. I'm listening.

It's as if you were one
Of those negatives,

Those
Atom shadows

Etched, on a ladder,
Painting the trim
On a house in
Japan

Still,
And poetic.

And, I suppose,
when it comes right down to it
We're all teetering



But metaphors are cheap,
And easy,
Like cold liquor on a hot summer night

I fell in love
With the sound of you.
The very thought
That you could be
Divided
Into simple syllables
And, yet, mean
More than the complexities
Of feeling you -
Made the air
Burst forth into my lungs
And breathe hope.

You could give life
And color
But now you lay there,
Weeping,
While Webster himself
Shakes his head.

You could have meant more than ever imagined,
If only you had been written in French.

I could write forever
Spill my heart upon this page
Search for the perfect rhyme
To capture you


Oh but all I want to do is
Gaze upon
What makes the flowers bloom,
And sing, oh so sweetly,
Splattered colorfully
All glory to you

All of this body is mine.

A creature that moves until it dances.
Steadies itself against its shadow.
Bends in all the right places.


I am not merely this body.

I cannot fit into
The crevasses of these arms.
Fill the emptiness of these lungs.
Sink into the vast complexities of these
Parts.

You told me
You loved me

Like it had passed through your lips
Ten thousand times
(Like you tell your mom,
Halfway out the door)

Now I cannot stop thinking
About how good those words sounded --
How my heart tore out of me
And followed you down the street.

I want to pour into you
Melt to softness,
Like butter turning oil.

You, still written upon my heart,
Running rampant throughout this body
I cannot lay still enough to sleep.

And each time I turn,
I can feel you forgetting
how my hand feels
in yours.

I do not think of you
As dead.
I rarely think of you at all.

Time is mischievous,
Stealing you a second time.

You have me wrapped up
In your mysteries
What I'm coming to find,
And what I knew all along
Are undoing me
Like you're undoing my blouse
And breathing me in

Your kiss draws me deeper
Into parts of you.
And me.
And us.

How wondrous it is
To be like spring -
Feel lightness between our fingertips,
Interlaced like roots pulled firmly
Into ground.

I am overshadowed
By my desire.

I look up to it.

Its longings
Dwarf my abilities.

You are uncontainable -
you burst into innumerable pieces.
Each fingernail, toe, smile
Sizzles upon the pavement.

I hear the sun crack
Upon the horizon
Its molten harmonies
Spreading into heaven.
I smell the Summer
Wafting into Autumn
And feel the leaves turning
Colors - beauty in their defiance.
I see the atoms
Shiver.
I taste your words,
Rich in my mouth
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

I am suddenly shattering-
My courage,
My voice,
Lay atop my feet.

If I wiggle my toes,
I can feel their
Silk shift.

Twist, twist, twist.
Sigh.
Untangle your feet,
Tap your toes
Against the covers,
Feel the cold shuttering on your kneecaps.


Try to time your breathing
Air fills, disappears, fills, disappears
Close your eyes,
Smooth your hair back.

Face the darkness
Dimming, dimming, dimming
The light fading,
Or is it rising?
Either way, wide awake.

The packet contains
Nothing but death
And yet they gobble it down
As if it was the air,
That can't find its way

Smoke blinds them
Coughing up their cigarette breaks
As they **** the vile thing
That might as well drive them mad

Blessed with perfect lungs
Inhale. Exhale.
Destroy whatever is left
Who gives a ****,
You can still smell the daisies
On bottled oxygen

The nerve, the idiocy
To cheat death,
Playing Russian roulette
With six bullets in

He still smothers me
Against these pillows.

So oppressive,
I can't even speak.

Strength is not found,
But made;
Steeped in action
When life
can no longer be ignored.

Your fate does not wait
For you to muster courage,
Hold it up and examine.
You must take to plunging deep
And refuse to hold back.

It hits me,
Like the rush of a tympani
Unexpected, often missed,
Often lost.


Mind pushing back,
Pulling forth


Crescendos,
I do not fear you,
I could not love you.
And I certainly don't
wait for you.

An even change of direction,
Acceleration.

Arms, legs, heart;
Just one more stroke,
One last, desperate
Passion -

Synchronicity.

Tears are so heavy;
You swear you'll float
After
every.
       last.
           one.
               is shed
Like a well worn pair of jeans

The moon is worn out tonight
Tired of metaphors,
Tired of running from poem

to poem

Rushing to and frow
Circling every
last
word.

For one he's a peacemaker
Having fire for eyes
And -
For the other -
He's actually a woman
Ice cold and solid stone.

Silence--

(As a mist falls on a lake,
Every crystal clear drop
Dips into gray. )

There is nothing left to say.

I hold both
      Ying  and Yang
In my heart.
      How confusing to be whole.

Spiders often spill into the cracks,
Leaving carcasses, still and rotting.
Life sneaks in,
Creeping up the vacant corners --

In this, the ultimate expression;
What you see is not yours
And does not wait for you.

Time is counting down
With precision
And a painful sense of urgency
The world spins beneath us,
We're upside down you see

For just one moment,
I wish you could hear clearly

Don't you see the clouds above us?
And the birds that dare to be free
Oh how I wish time would win
Less frequently

Borrowed time or stolen years,
Call it what you will,
But that won't be enough for me
The glass, it never fills

This is the beginning of the end,
Ending quite suddenly
With a quiet dignity,
Drip-dropping snow drops
Led away with sun beams

Joy bubbles over,
As if prancing or kneeling
Upon today,
Yearning - straining -
Beauty is the same

I thought we would be
Light green tendrils
Stretching up from blades of grass


But we are the tree limb
And once cut,  
We will not grow again

Breath sinks deep
Into this morning breeze.
I am devouring sunlight,
Bring butterflies into
This stomach.
Keep me here
And love me.

When I die,
I want to explode
Into the Universe

Fall deeply into
Strong arms
As my memories
Scurry across the stars

I want minds to expand,
Fists unclench
And God, gracious God,
Let hearts be free.