Why isn't it easy?
It should be common sense.
I want to be on the good side, but i annoy people instead.
I don't know how i got here, but i cant reverse my steps.
I know too much, i feel too much, ive seen too much to not notice some truth.  Why are people not noticing?
Makes me feel like I'm wrong. Am i wrong?
I want peace, i want happiness, i want clean food, bountiful life for everyone.
Am I wrong? Am I confused?
I don't want to be scared, and the truth is scary.
What is the truth?

Empty, nothing
Dark, black
Sadness, sickness
Hurt, pain
Helpless

Why does this have to happen to you?
I wish i can take it away.
Wash it away with tears. I wish.
I just want to go back and relive with you
You're beautiful, i love you so much.

Im sorry for what you have to go through.  You don't deserve this. its all too much, but you will beat this because you are a survivor. Youre alive full of life, love, hope, happiness, strength. You got this. Im here for you. We're here for you.

I love you Mom.

We are different, yes this is true.
Different lives, different feelings and looks too.
Why does our heart beat the same, our eyes cry the same
We hurt, we smile, we love.
But we are different, yes this is true.
We have led different lives and experienced life in different eyes but inside we're not different.
Is that scary to you?
If there were no differences would it be any any different?
Laugh at the same thing, looked the same way, loved the same thing.
Would it be nice or dull?
Forget all that and be who you are, nobody knows you like you do.
Make peace with the differences and say bye to all your fears.

What is worse than being unhappy?
Death?
Even that sounds like a dream.
When everything you do doesnt seem worth it.
Getting yelled at by an idiot.
Im just going to turn into a shell for you.
Nothing here.
I will save all my unhappy memories for you.
I will never try for you again.
Bare minimum until you notice and leave.
Good riddance, ****** indiot.

Sometimes I don't want to talk.
Why do I have to talk?
If i don't pay attention to you its because i don't care.
I am forced to live with you and now i have to listen and believe everything you say?
Why because you're so cultured, you traveled the world? A self proclaimed prophet.
Nothing but a con artist.
You are alone because of it.
And your son is following your footsteps.
Whatever
I lost the last **** i gave.

We're not gonna make it, we fight, we cry, we hug
And then go right back to the same old ****.
Im tired.
What's the point?
I'm bored, i need something real.
Something exciting, but you are stuck to your parents like a ******* idiot who doesn't know what to do with himself.
Grow the **** up already!

I can't believe what just happened. What makes people holier than others? Church? Religious songs? If i cuss, if I enjoy ***, if i eat too much im evil? Im going against God? Are you serious? What kind of rules are these? I love God and God loves me that is whats right. Let me enjoy life. Let me experience life. There is so much beauty and different things out there. Why do we have to be so limited?

Why is it so easy to forget where you came from? You talk **** about it but wish it well in the same **** sentence. Life can be cruel but doesnt mean you have to be cruel. Why is it so hard to understand a persons need to be happy? There are a lot of people trying to make life easier for you and because you think you know something you **** on everything. No respect, no heart. Take away your rules and be human for a little bit.

All i ever wanted was for you to be here.
I wanted your time, i wanted to talk to you, cuddle you.
We fought time and time again.
You didn't care you had more important things to do.
Making money, taking care of us.
I don't remember asking for money.
I don't want to struggle but i rather have happy memories.
I got used to not seeing you and I rather be with myself.
You resent me for it, but i told you. A million times what i needed.
I needed you and you werent there.
So i love myself and not you and you resent me for it.
But i told you so.

Im done
Im done
Im done
Bored
Uninspired
Tired
And annoyed
Have a good day
Im over it.

Im done
Im done
Im done
Bored
Uninspired
Tired
And annoyed
Have a good day
Im over it.

I light a candle and say a prayer
Hoping someone hears me.
Please help her, i plead.
Im empty without her.
I need her. Her laugh, her voice, her hugs.
She said this surgery is dangerous.
Please Lord protect my angel as she protected me all my life. You know her heart is golden. But i need her still.
I need her still.
Please cover her with protection and heal her.
Heal her please.

Don't talk
Don't move
Just sit
Dont request, just sit.
I'd like to be in peace for just a little while
I will never have peace
Why do people want this? Always being busy
Always something to do. Its annoying.
I wish i never grew up.
I didn't know it then, but peace was being a child a small fun loving child.

i am so bored.
everyday is the same.
everyone is the same.
limited feeling
no fun.
reality is boring
i want to paint, i want solitude.
i want something different.
is this really life?
how boring.
i guess i will never be happy or i dont know what happy is anymore.
everything is an act because life is so boring.
dreams are where its at. i wish i lived in my dreams.

Even though it annoys me in process,
I love when you make me laugh.
Your goofy and stupid but at the same time charming.
You're the only one that makes me smile.
Full heartedly.

Sadness,
Its lonely here
I lost control again
I can't get it back
I don't know if tomorrow will be the same
Sometimes i dont even want to look
But i have little faces that i cannot forsake
So i have to get up and try to be happy, for them.
They are all i have

Dreams.
Whats your dream?
Is it lavish, is it simple, is it fun, is it mystical?
Dreams.
Do dreams come true?
Are they meant to happen, tell you something, warn you, inspire you?
Dreams are emotions. They are thoughts. They are love, laughter, comfort, fear, anger.
Emotions. Feelings. Soul.
Maybe dreaming is your soul. Conversations with your soul.

How can you love him more?
I took care of you from day one.
No sleep, tired, frustrated but true to you.
I have ****** up along the way but im with you all day. I do everything for you and your rude to me, even when i do nothing or speak gentle.
Today you went crazy and not silence could stop you. All it took was his voice and you calmed down.
I am nothing to you. You don't care and it hurts and infuriates me at the same time.
I don't know what to do, i feel like backing away but i can't i don't let myself. Am i a terrible person? Do you hate me? I hope not because i love you and it hurts when i cant help you.

They say it sad to die alone
But we all die alone, nobody comes with us.

Drained, dry, eyes closing
Eyes stinging, swollen, heavy.
Breath deep, warm and steamy.
Body dragging, lazy, fat and ready for comfort.

Exhausted. Tired just tired. I want to sleep. I want to be dreaming. Dreaming of a mystical place where i can run wild without a care in the world.  

I want a dream that last forever.
A sweet delicious dream that last forever.

I was happy today and then I was not.
Everything irritated me, every noise, every man that walked.
I was happy today.
What changed? Was it negative energy, was it hunger, i dont know
I was happy today, i wonder what switched off.
Its me you see, i am angry of what? I'm yet to see
But i was happy today.

Who is this person?
Angry, attention starved
You have no idea what you're doing. Just stop
You have been warned.
Think, this is a person too.
With family, plans, and **** to do.
You could have ruined it, for what an ego boost?
The choice was yours and now you regret.
Next time learn some respect.

I'm so full and disgusted.
This who gives a **** attitude need to stop.
If you want it go get it

Loved ones lose touch over petty ****.
No invite, no call, wrong face, wrong words.
Who gives a ****?
We all go thru hard times and our time is limited here. Why the ******* ****?  Get over yourselves move on and be happy.

I hate you.
You are my downfall.
My uncontrollable sadness and anger.
I hate you.
I knew it when i met you, and still i continued.
What an imbecile.
Yeah we have money, but no love.
Just concern.
Is that normal?

Last night feeling down, I heard you.
So strange and powerful.
Made me realize there is a God.
Something bigger, something golden.
Instant happiness.
I began to see things in a brighter light.
The next day I began to lose your sound.
I wondered if I would ever hear you again.
And then you surprised me, tears of joy.
Thank you, Thank you Lord.

Why do I have to be sorry for your decisions?
You chose this, you knew what could happen.
You were so naive, so proud of what could be glory
Baloney!
What the **** are you fighting for? Peace?
Not gonna happen. This is money driven, death driven.
Nothing I stand for.
Don't involve me in your regret or sadness.
I didnt ship you off to war.