Even though it annoys me in process,
I love when you make me laugh.
Your goofy and stupid but at the same time charming.
You're the only one that makes me smile.
Full heartedly.

They say it sad to die alone
But we all die alone, nobody comes with us.

How can you love him more?
I took care of you from day one.
No sleep, tired, frustrated but true to you.
I have ****** up along the way but im with you all day. I do everything for you and your rude to me, even when i do nothing or speak gentle.
Today you went crazy and not silence could stop you. All it took was his voice and you calmed down.
I am nothing to you. You don't care and it hurts and infuriates me at the same time.
I don't know what to do, i feel like backing away but i can't i don't let myself. Am i a terrible person? Do you hate me? I hope not because i love you and it hurts when i cant help you.

All i ever wanted was for you to be here.
I wanted your time, i wanted to talk to you, cuddle you.
We fought time and time again.
You didn't care you had more important things to do.
Making money, taking care of us.
I don't remember asking for money.
I don't want to struggle but i rather have happy memories.
I got used to not seeing you and I rather be with myself.
You resent me for it, but i told you. A million times what i needed.
I needed you and you werent there.
So i love myself and not you and you resent me for it.
But i told you so.

I light a candle and say a prayer
Hoping someone hears me.
Please help her, i plead.
Im empty without her.
I need her. Her laugh, her voice, her hugs.
She said this surgery is dangerous.
Please Lord protect my angel as she protected me all my life. You know her heart is golden. But i need her still.
I need her still.
Please cover her with protection and heal her.
Heal her please.

Loved ones lose touch over petty ****.
No invite, no call, wrong face, wrong words.
Who gives a ****?
We all go thru hard times and our time is limited here. Why the ******* ****?  Get over yourselves move on and be happy.

Empty, nothing
Dark, black
Sadness, sickness
Hurt, pain
Helpless

Why does this have to happen to you?
I wish i can take it away.
Wash it away with tears. I wish.
I just want to go back and relive with you
You're beautiful, i love you so much.

Im sorry for what you have to go through.  You don't deserve this. its all too much, but you will beat this because you are a survivor. Youre alive full of life, love, hope, happiness, strength. You got this. Im here for you. We're here for you.

I love you Mom.