The world kisses me
and begs me to be a man,
but I'm not gonna grow up
because I'm a work of art, Ma.

I'm a work of art.

I like hurting bad people
and I like hurting you.
I like hurting you,
but only because you ask me to.

No, Ma.
I don't wanna grow up
because I'm a poet,
a scary lover,
a miserable romantic.
I'm not gonna grow up, Ma.
Because I'm a work of art.

I'm a work of art.

The world kisses me
and begs me to stop.
The world kisses me,
but begs me to stop.

You can't blame me
for the death of your children
because I'm a child too,
because I was shot, too.

I'm a little boy.
I'm not gonna grow up.
I'm a work of art, Ma.

I'm a work of art!

Little girls
and scary worlds
make me a poet.
Little girls
and scary worlds
make me a monster.
Little girls
and scary worlds
make me a boy.

I'm not growing up
because I'm a work of art.
I'm not growing up
because I want to fall in love
with everything that breaks my heart.

The world kisses me
and begs me to be a man,
but I'm not gonna grow up
because Im a work of art, Ma.

I'm a work of art.

Little girls
and scary worlds
make me
a poet.

Little girls
and scary worlds
make me

a boy.

The animals are dancing in my room.
Mother gives me dolls.
I don't like dolls.

Mr. Wolf is going to teach me math.
Mr. Wolf is going to teach me love.
I love Mr. Wolf.

I close the curtain before he enters my room.
Mr. Wolf loves me, it's a secret.
I close my eyes before he enters me.
Mr Wolf loves me,
but it's a secret.

The animals are dancing in my room.
Mother gives me candy.
I don't like Mother.

Mr. Wolf is going to teach me math.
Mr. Wolf is going to teach me love.
I love Mr. Wolf.

Mr. Wolf closes the book.
Mr. Wolf touches my hair.
Mr. Wolf looks sad
when he tells me:
"You're so beautiful. Please stop loving me."

I cover the playground. I run. I jump.
Throw the ball, Billy..
before the bell pulls me into the classroom.
Throw the ball, Billy..
so Mr. Wolf can see me play.

Mr. Wolf kisses my neck.
I love Mr. Wolf.

Mr. Wolf, give me your hand.
Mr. Wolf, give me your love.
Mr. Wolf, give me a good grade.
Mr. Wolf, watch me play.

Mr. Wolf.
Mr. Wolf.
Mr. Wolf.

Mr. Wolf.

There isn't enough.
There is never enough.

What was your name?
I can't remember your name.
Would your hair brush your hips?
Or did it hang over your shoulders?
Was it black as coal, would it glisten under the sun?

You picked flowers.
You picked petals.
You picked me.

You picked me and I couldn't resist.
I loved you with the heart of a child.
I loved you like wolves
lick
their prey.

Hhh-and I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry, but you loved me like nobody else could.

I was banished from your world,
I was expelled.
Your mother wasn't the only parent
who deemed me a monster.
Your friends weren't the only students
who missed my games.

What was your name?
I can't remember your name.
Would your hair brush your hips?
Did it hang over your shoulders?

What did I do when you were absent?
Did I still turn the pages? Did I visit the bathroom often?
Did I ruin your future? Did my love tear everything apart?
Am I a monster?
Am I a monster?

There isn't enough.
There is never enough.
There will never be enough
to make me forget.

I loved you with the heart of a child.

I loved you like wolves
lick

their prey.

My lungs were full
of so much anger.

I have an audience waiting for me
to scream
and sing.

I entertain with the weight I carry.
I entertain with the love I've lost.

I sang a song, I sang another..
and won't you believe it,
my emotions were tearing me apart.

They tore through my ribcage,
poured out my hands,
decorating the microphone I grasped so tightly.
They burst from my back, filling the air
like crows fill skies
under sorrow filled nights.

I felt my heart drowning
In my new blood.

And the crowd goes crazy.

I feel my heart drowning
in my new blood
The stage is my home
and I am a monster
with a penchant for control.

They sang with me,
echoing the words that slid down my
tongue.

I entertain them
with the weight of my past.
I entertain them
with the love I've lost.

I entertain them with the weight I carry.

I entertain them

with the weight I carry.

One day
I’m going to love something
and it won’t break
under the weight
I carry
of every monster
who tore me apart.

Soothing were
the words that fell
from your wet tongue.

They fell into my mouth
caressing my lips
before clawing their way
into my lungs
and poisoning the oxygen in me
like knives touch
roadkill-turned-dinner.

The skin that cradles me;
home to my soul and
cage to my
joy
once writhed under the
pain of becoming

a woman.

"But you look so lovely in that mask." I hear.

No.

I’ve chopped off the silk
that once caressed my
cheeks
my neck
my

*******.

My eyes unveiled-
eyes that
speak volumes of truth.
A truth that no longer trembles
under a wavering tower
of poorly woven
lies.

…

I grew believing I had no choice.

I stand knowing I do.


Mother, father,


I am a man.

Those pearls you call eyes
are a detriment to my ability to stay calm
and the poison that drips from your
mouth
drags me into you;

I’m an addict to your venom.
I’m dissolving in your breath.
I’m falling apart on your
tongue.

Your blood carries the toxin of animals I’ve never heard of
but I swear I’d shoot anything into my veins if you were next to me.

…

There are moments
of crashing silence;
like angry drunk drivers
quietly crawling to their demise.

In these moments,
your breathing reaches my
gut
and your blood rushes
into my
heart.

I want
to claw my
way into you.
I want to dig into your
ribcage.
I want to be all you feel inside of you.
I want to breathe with your thoughts.
I want to fall down the grooves of your throat,
and dissipate into your
obsession.

I want to be consumed by you.
so all inside you becomes

me
and I

consume

you.

In blood and in rain,
in fragments of victims’ souls,
bathed He.

His body stood
engulfed in darkness.

In their decent,
tears formed in clouds
crashed into his cheeks,
and caressed the groove of his
jaw and
neck.

Deafening,
the lovely song
of a human dripping in sorrow
grew quiet
before fading
into nothing
but a thin mist.

Swallowing the bitter truth
of a new life,
His steps led Him away
from bodies growing
cold
and lovers being

torn.

My blood will flow through your veins.
My whispers will eat you away,
chip at your soul,
gnaw at your vision.
My hands will shake in your presence.
My breath will spiral into your throat.

You will bathe in my image.

You will melt into my hands.
You will cry in fear.
Still.

You will gasp for air.
Drip in nervous laughter.
Lose everything
in a mind crowded by thick fog.

My instinct.
Your bleeding.

My need.
Your bruising.

My urges.


Your death.

I cursed a man
who believed himself a boy
and buried my love for him
because he did not deserve it.

He deemed me a Unicorn;
a special thing
made entirely for him

...

but I was sown
with the threads of lament
and the colors of pain.

The needles used
to fabricate me
held by a god
who sought to create
a survivor.

And survivors are Monsters.

Vicious things
of a different beauty.
Reluctantly steering clear
of purity and innocence.

..

I was not a Unicorn.
But I was treated like one

for a while.

Your name crashes into me sometimes
like falling planes driven by dead pilots.

It’s then that I remember I’ve dreamt of you.

Your voice is faint
in dreams where I’ve known you for years.
And your skin is
tight
and scarred.
But I dare not lay a finger on you
even in dreams.

I don’t know the sounds you make
when scared
or loved.
I don’t know the rhythm of your voice,
the pattern in your words.

But I know
I’ve an empty heart
that I’d love to fill
with you.

I’ll be honest with you.
My teeth swell when you look at me.

I’ve the heart of a beast; I salivate on nights swallowed by full moons.
But moons ain’t got **** on the power your skin holds.
My tongue dances behind wolf’s teeth, my mouth floods.

I’m sorry.
I’m just so hungry.

There’s a road I shouldn’t take but it’s leading me to your lips.
It starts at your rib cage and follows up to your clavicle.
I try steering my tongue away but it moves up to your neck.
My lungs are hot and you feel it in my breath.
I crash into your mouth.
My heart is pounding.
I’m probably dead.
My surroundings are fading.

I have knives tucked away in blankets of self-control,
pieces of metal I want to drown in your blood.
I have hands that pulse and claw at my seat,
who throb and cry ‘cause there’s nothing to eat.

But you’re never there.

My eyes are tired, my breath is warm.
And after a dim moon’s glow,
there’s only calm after the storm.

Eyelids are heavy.

I can feel the full moon
eating away at my former self.

I’ve never felt so sick.
I’ve never felt so alive.
My body is crushed
must’ve gotten hit by a truck.
My head is bleeding.
My fists recently crushed something.
There’s a body next to me; knocked out and bruised.
I’ve never felt so alive.

Demon drugs.

2:30 in the morning
In the middle of nowhere.
I walk, each step echoes
like drums
like drums.
My fists want to crush something.
I’m bleeding.

Give me more demon drugs.
Give me more demon drugs.
Like drums, like drums;
give me more demon drugs.

I’m running now,
I can’t see anything.
My legs lead me into the void.
I’ll get shot, I’ll get killed, *****, eaten, loved.
I’ll **** whatever I find, I’ll **** anything that moves.

It’s cold. My blood is boiling. I’m sick.
I’ve never felt so alive.
I’ve never felt so sick.
My body is crushed.
I’m running, like drums, like drums.
I’m so hungry.

Give me more demon drugs.
Give me more demon drugs.
Like drums, like drums;
give me more demon drugs.

I’m so hungry.
I’m so hungry.
**** me. Hit me.
I’ll **** you.
I’m so hungry.

Give me your love.
Give me your drugs.
Demon drugs.

Give me more demon drugs.

I tower over forests
I sing for myself
I **** to survive
I claw at hearts, muscles, meat

There is no time to stay
there is no time
there is only time to run
run
hurry
run

I **** with throbbing hands
I eat with flat teeth
I am not human
I never will be human

I am always hungry
I starve enveloped in eternal, beastly urges

I starve
there is no time to starve
there is no time
to sit, stay, lay down

there is no time
run
hurry
run

run run