All I want
today
is to give up.
I want to stop eating.
I want to stop thinking.
I want to stand in the snow
and let my body freeze
until I've burned off every last calorie
I want to run until I puke.
Then run more.
Until the moment comes that I black out
Until that empty moment
of empty relief
comes to me
even if it's only a moment.
I just want to be free.
Because I'm living in a personal hell
most days lately I don't even know myself
I can't look in the mirror without disgust
I freaking hate my stinking guts.
I've never hated it so much
that I'd rather stay inside.
I've never been so ashamed
that all I wanted to do is hide.
But today that's where I am.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 10:57 PM UTC
All I want
today
is to give up.
I want to stop eating.
I want to stop thinking.
I want to stand in the snow
and let my body freeze
until I've burned off every last calorie
I want to run until I puke.
Then run more.
Until the moment comes that I black out
Until that empty moment
of empty relief
comes to me
even if it's only a moment.
I just want to be free.
Because I'm living in a personal hell
most days lately I don't even know myself
I can't look in the mirror without disgust
I freaking hate my stinking guts.
I've never hated it so much
that I'd rather stay inside.
I've never been so ashamed
that all I wanted to do is hide.
But today that's where I am.
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