I dig deep
For some hidden hope
To find the strength I've always had
When I was up against the ropes
Because that’s exactly where I’ll be
As I'm running away
To the only dream
That’s kept me mentally sane
I'm finding an escape
From the people around me
And the day to day life
That creates my boundary
I’ll find a place
Where I can hear my own voice
And it won’t be distorted
By the societal noise
I’ll climb each step
Ignoring the blood on my hands
And distance myself
From that which fears what it can’t understand
And now that I'm here
I’ll find what sets me apart
From a white picket fence
And a little green yard
The American dream
Might be a safe aspiration
But what does it become
When it drowns the dreams of its nation?
So I’ll escape into the truth
And leave my chains behind
So they can see what it means
To be truly alive
I’ll sit on a hilltop
And watch the lives they all lead
Working jobs they hate
to buy **** they don’t need
being ordinary
is the addiction they feed
as they smile coldly
and say **** they don’t mean
one morning they’ll wake up
and see the hole in their chest
and realize they made up
all this nonsense
but they’re not bad people
they just never learn
cause on their way to the top
they’d watch the world burn
and instead of trying to extinguish
these self-mutilating fires
they’ll turn their heads
to their frivolous desires
but I’m still searching
for the bigger picture
because maybe if I find it
I can hang it on my refrigerator
So I wont forget
Because I need to remember
As my story settles down
Into the pages of forever
But all I feel
Is my judgment slip away
As black and white
Fade into shades of gray
And all I feel
Is the hypocrisy settle in
As I see myself
Committing the same sins
So I’ll resign to the life
Of a numbing vaccine
And continue trying
to put out my fire with gasoline
I’d positioned myself
Away from it all
But now prepared
For the inevitable fall
My knees start to tremble
My skin feels colder
as the weight of the world
bears down on my shoulders
my front foot slips
and the back one slides
and I fall into the hole
I dug with my pride
and all I see
is the faces I left behind
and suddenly that hope I’m looking for
........
is much harder to find…
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 2:04 PM UTC
I dig deep
For some hidden hope
To find the strength I've always had
When I was up against the ropes
Because that’s exactly where I’ll be
As I'm running away
To the only dream
That’s kept me mentally sane
I'm finding an escape
From the people around me
And the day to day life
That creates my boundary
I’ll find a place
Where I can hear my own voice
And it won’t be distorted
By the societal noise
I’ll climb each step
Ignoring the blood on my hands
And distance myself
From that which fears what it can’t understand
And now that I'm here
I’ll find what sets me apart
From a white picket fence
And a little green yard
The American dream
Might be a safe aspiration
But what does it become
When it drowns the dreams of its nation?
So I’ll escape into the truth
And leave my chains behind
So they can see what it means
To be truly alive
I’ll sit on a hilltop
And watch the lives they all lead
Working jobs they hate
to buy **** they don’t need
being ordinary
is the addiction they feed
as they smile coldly
and say **** they don’t mean
one morning they’ll wake up
and see the hole in their chest
and realize they made up
all this nonsense
but they’re not bad people
they just never learn
cause on their way to the top
they’d watch the world burn
and instead of trying to extinguish
these self-mutilating fires
they’ll turn their heads
to their frivolous desires
but I’m still searching
for the bigger picture
because maybe if I find it
I can hang it on my refrigerator
So I wont forget
Because I need to remember
As my story settles down
Into the pages of forever
But all I feel
Is my judgment slip away
As black and white
Fade into shades of gray
And all I feel
Is the hypocrisy settle in
As I see myself
Committing the same sins
So I’ll resign to the life
Of a numbing vaccine
And continue trying
to put out my fire with gasoline
I’d positioned myself
Away from it all
But now prepared
For the inevitable fall
My knees start to tremble
My skin feels colder
as the weight of the world
bears down on my shoulders
my front foot slips
and the back one slides
and I fall into the hole
I dug with my pride
and all I see
is the faces I left behind
and suddenly that hope I’m looking for
........
is much harder to find…
The First Poem I Ever Wrote when I was 17
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