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QSaintPoems
Dear Chaus, Wishing upon that shooting star For something more than what you are Heartbreaking as you send your wish afar But you'll never be more than simply subpar. Calling out for a goal, an ambition Reaching hard to make the distance Running until you lose your vision Then crashing when, again, you miss it. Because all you are is a common entity With not a single redeeming quality All you are is a lackluster commodity Thrown away once something better is seen. Are you lonely yet, does the feeling invade your soul? Are you lonely yet, now that you feel so old? Are you lonely yet and has your optimism run cold? Are you lonely yet, are you ready to go? Does it crush you in that way that makes death seem sweet? Does it rend you in the fashion that forces up what you eat? Does it poison you like smoke that your lungs forever keep? Does it drag you like nicotine, controlling your feet? How do you do now, my dear, and those cuts on your arms? How do you do now, my dear, with no father to bring you harm? How do you fare, my dear, when all is at peace and warm? How do you fare, my dear, with the paranoia, the alarm? Is it too much or just enough, are you running to the end? It is too good or too bad, will you shun those helping hands? Is it too loud or too quiet, is love still in your plans? Is it to nice or to cruel, now do you understand? As all you'll ever be, you are ending in this moment All you wish to see that you've smashed on the pavement. All the time you had that your decisions use as payment. All the people who've passed that you wished would have come with. This is what is waiting for you in a year, a decade, a century This is what is waiting and this is all you'll ever see Disappointment by disappointment, never quite depression-free This is what is waiting: anything but content or happy. So next you feel the call of some obscure way to die I bid you take the chance, let not another chance pass by The next you feel fed up and you can only think to cry Put down your tears and dance and kiss this cruel world goodbye. Love, Chaus
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Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 9:06 PM UTC
A Letter To Myself, Read By Someone Else
Dear Chaus, Wishing upon that shooting star For something more than what you are Heartbreaking as you send your wish afar But you'll never be more than simply subpar. Calling out for a goal, an ambition Reaching hard to make the distance Running until you lose your vision Then crashing when, again, you miss it. Because all you are is a common entity With not a single redeeming quality All you are is a lackluster commodity Thrown away once something better is seen. Are you lonely yet, does the feeling invade your soul? Are you lonely yet, now that you feel so old? Are you lonely yet and has your optimism run cold? Are you lonely yet, are you ready to go? Does it crush you in that way that makes death seem sweet? Does it rend you in the fashion that forces up what you eat? Does it poison you like smoke that your lungs forever keep? Does it drag you like nicotine, controlling your feet? How do you do now, my dear, and those cuts on your arms? How do you do now, my dear, with no father to bring you harm? How do you fare, my dear, when all is at peace and warm? How do you fare, my dear, with the paranoia, the alarm? Is it too much or just enough, are you running to the end? It is too good or too bad, will you shun those helping hands? Is it too loud or too quiet, is love still in your plans? Is it to nice or to cruel, now do you understand? As all you'll ever be, you are ending in this moment All you wish to see that you've smashed on the pavement. All the time you had that your decisions use as payment. All the people who've passed that you wished would have come with. This is what is waiting for you in a year, a decade, a century This is what is waiting and this is all you'll ever see Disappointment by disappointment, never quite depression-free This is what is waiting: anything but content or happy. So next you feel the call of some obscure way to die I bid you take the chance, let not another chance pass by The next you feel fed up and you can only think to cry Put down your tears and dance and kiss this cruel world goodbye. Love, Chaus
#suicide#self-harm#self-hatred
QSaint
Written by
QSaint
American
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 9:06 PM UTC
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