I don’t know why, but seeing you turns me to ice,
A cold that space or the Arctic could never suffice.
Colder than "that night" when the silence finally broke,
And my world went up in the gray of your smoke.
The words chilled my spine and bound my heart in twine,
A heavy galaxy strapped to a chest that was mine.
I felt light as a feather but crushed by the floor,
So I vanished in shadows and walked out the door.
Two weeks went by while the autumn leaves fell,
Fourteen long days in the heart of a hell.
The world kept on turning, a truth and a lie,
All because you had decided I needed to die.
So, I did—in a room where the air was like glass,
Watching the hours and the monitors pass.
A chemical fire crawled through every blue vein,
As the IV delivered its burning refrain.
Liquid heat in my wrist, tracing maps on my skin,
The price that I paid for the state I was in.
My heart hit the floor, and my lungs began to fail,
Gasping for breath in a body so frail.
Now I’m a stranger relearning to stand,
Testing the floor like it’s sinking in sand.
A shaky new rhythm, a conscious new stride,
Without the cold ghost of you here by my side.
Every breath is a victory, heavy and deep,
A promise of life that I’m struggling to keep.
And in the quiet, through the fear and the art,
I am relearning the beat of my own stubborn heart.
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 5:52 PM UTC
I don’t know why, but seeing you turns me to ice,
A cold that space or the Arctic could never suffice.
Colder than "that night" when the silence finally broke,
And my world went up in the gray of your smoke.
The words chilled my spine and bound my heart in twine,
A heavy galaxy strapped to a chest that was mine.
I felt light as a feather but crushed by the floor,
So I vanished in shadows and walked out the door.
Two weeks went by while the autumn leaves fell,
Fourteen long days in the heart of a hell.
The world kept on turning, a truth and a lie,
All because you had decided I needed to die.
So, I did—in a room where the air was like glass,
Watching the hours and the monitors pass.
A chemical fire crawled through every blue vein,
As the IV delivered its burning refrain.
Liquid heat in my wrist, tracing maps on my skin,
The price that I paid for the state I was in.
My heart hit the floor, and my lungs began to fail,
Gasping for breath in a body so frail.
Now I’m a stranger relearning to stand,
Testing the floor like it’s sinking in sand.
A shaky new rhythm, a conscious new stride,
Without the cold ghost of you here by my side.
Every breath is a victory, heavy and deep,
A promise of life that I’m struggling to keep.
And in the quiet, through the fear and the art,
I am relearning the beat of my own stubborn heart.
I did not write this. Someone who is close to me did. He has sickle cell disease and it is slowly killing him. He was doubting this poem he wrote and I told him it deserves to be seen...so here we are.
