i'm going to tell you i miss you now
before you are gone forever
May 12
May 12, 2026 at 12:21 AM UTC
I don’t know why, but seeing you turns me to ice,
A cold that space or the Arctic could never suffice.
Colder than "that night" when the silence finally broke,
And my world went up in the gray of your smoke.
The words chilled my spine and bound my heart in twine,
A heavy galaxy strapped to a chest that was mine.
I felt light as a feather but crushed by the floor,
So I vanished in shadows and walked out the door.
Two weeks went by while the autumn leaves fell,
Fourteen long days in the heart of a hell.
The world kept on turning, a truth and a lie,
All because you had decided I needed to die.
So, I did—in a room where the air was like glass,
Watching the hours and the monitors pass.
A chemical fire crawled through every blue vein,
As the IV delivered its burning refrain.
Liquid heat in my wrist, tracing maps on my skin,
The price that I paid for the state I was in.
My heart hit the floor, and my lungs began to fail,
Gasping for breath in a body so frail.
Now I’m a stranger relearning to stand,
Testing the floor like it’s sinking in sand.
A shaky new rhythm, a conscious new stride,
Without the cold ghost of you here by my side.
Every breath is a victory, heavy and deep,
A promise of life that I’m struggling to keep.
And in the quiet, through the fear and the art,
I am relearning the beat of my own stubborn heart.
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 5:52 PM UTC
i am either an extroverted introvert
OR
an introverted extrovert
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 5:46 PM UTC
life is a revolver and the trigger goes off unexpectedly
and i've been stuck inside a shell for far too long love
don't you know that my walls cave in sometimes
and at the hospital i just stare at my reflection to cry
at those empty eyes and loose medical gown falling
i think the both of us are the most extroverted introverts
to ever walk this isolated rock of life called Earth
i really don't blame you for having trust issues either
i am scared to open up to anyone sometimes
something inside me died when you had an attack
cause i thought you were gone and you were all i had
so when you called me to call the ambulance
i had to bite my lip to stop my body from shaking
so i could spit out your address to the operator
i hated putting you on hold even though i needed to
and i switched back to your call as soon as i could
until i began to hear less of your desperate breathing
it was fading just like my hopes that you'd stay alive
i kept on repeating that you were going to be okay
but that was the only thing i could really think to say
because i swear to God i thought you were dying
and there was nothing either of us could do about it
i feel like life just chose to punch you in the face
and then cut open the swollen bruise for the hell of it
i've been hurt before but not like you have
and it isn't a competition i promise
but you really are the boy who lived
you were told you'd DIE two attacks ago
and yet here you are still existing
even though for some GOD **** reason
life keeps trying to destroy you
your ****** ex told you to k*** yourself
so you forgave without forgetting
your dad didn't care to know you
and you want to be a good father
the other foster kids start problems
you choose to make them laugh later
your condition keeps you off the team
you decide to treat their wounds
your sisters decide to fight with you
you continue to love them
money gets really scarce
you decide to help a friend out
your mom gets incarcerated
you join the police cadets
your heart STOPS
you begin BREATHING
you asked me why i love you
well...
you can't truly love someone best
until you've seen them at their worst
and despite the fact that
your life IS the worst
(no offense love)
you handle it not best...
BUT BEAUTIFULLY
Now that, is why I LOVE YOU.
(well, it's the main reason)
(there's more but we'd be here forever)
goodnight babe
EMK & KAJ
4.20.2026
Apr 21
Apr 21, 2026 at 12:11 AM UTC