sometimes I get a sinking feeling
that I'm not on anyone's mind.
that if I never reached out,
I would get none of their time.
in the church group, the school friends,
the dancers, I'm at the end.
in every space, i'm the bottom rung
stepped on by everyone.
winter jam, hope you had fun
I know I wasn't invited.
was it because you knew I was busy,
or because my presence, you don't like it?
"come get pizza," "let's go study!"
the requests go on for miles. --
"sorry, i'm busy," "I'll be out of town,"
-- but so do the declines.
maybe I just like the feeling
of knowing I'm not your friend.
of knowing that if it came down to it,
I would be left behind, again.
because I would rather be on everyone's
then the middle of one ladder.
even if it makes me cry,
even if it makes me sadder.
day by day, time after time,
the ladder keeps getting used.
not everyone gets to the top,
but they always stand on the bottom rung.
Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 1:49 PM UTC
sometimes I get a sinking feeling
that I'm not on anyone's mind.
that if I never reached out,
I would get none of their time.
in the church group, the school friends,
the dancers, I'm at the end.
in every space, i'm the bottom rung
stepped on by everyone.
winter jam, hope you had fun
I know I wasn't invited.
was it because you knew I was busy,
or because my presence, you don't like it?
"come get pizza," "let's go study!"
the requests go on for miles. --
"sorry, i'm busy," "I'll be out of town,"
-- but so do the declines.
maybe I just like the feeling
of knowing I'm not your friend.
of knowing that if it came down to it,
I would be left behind, again.
because I would rather be on everyone's
then the middle of one ladder.
even if it makes me cry,
even if it makes me sadder.
day by day, time after time,
the ladder keeps getting used.
not everyone gets to the top,
but they always stand on the bottom rung.
this is pretty bad lol.