Mom, I know you don’t know it but I never stopped looking for you
From scraped knees to having birth, I have looked for you
Every birthday party when the candles are being blown out
I heard you saying “blow out the candles my baby”
When the kids learned to ride their bikes
I remember you cheering them on from the sidewalk with coffee in hand
I dreamed you snapping pictures of the kids before their school dance and telling the boys how handsome they were while you straightened their ties
I dreamed of your eyes getting big when you saw the house me and sister got together
We are finally working together after 3 decades of fighting
Sorry you couldn’t make it to see the day
You would be joking that “it was going to snow in hell” because we finally decided to get along with each other.
I tell the kids about how you would’ve lied and schemed for them, even after we asked you not to.
I think about you every christmas; and laugh at how you went overboard with the gifts every year.
Thinking back now it’s probably because no one was able to do that for you.
You allowed dad to play the nice guy while you did all the real work, fighting battles that not many people could understand.
I look for you when I’m heartbroken, even though I broke your heart as a child
I look for you when I feel lost or weak and even though you’re not there I hear you, see you, and remember how you shaped me.
And I’m just so endlessly grateful that you loved me so very completely
You deserved better than you received but still you fought everyday and I pray for the same strength as a mother
By Victoria Angel
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 9:07 AM UTC
Mom, I know you don’t know it but I never stopped looking for you
From scraped knees to having birth, I have looked for you
Every birthday party when the candles are being blown out
I heard you saying “blow out the candles my baby”
When the kids learned to ride their bikes
I remember you cheering them on from the sidewalk with coffee in hand
I dreamed you snapping pictures of the kids before their school dance and telling the boys how handsome they were while you straightened their ties
I dreamed of your eyes getting big when you saw the house me and sister got together
We are finally working together after 3 decades of fighting
Sorry you couldn’t make it to see the day
You would be joking that “it was going to snow in hell” because we finally decided to get along with each other.
I tell the kids about how you would’ve lied and schemed for them, even after we asked you not to.
I think about you every christmas; and laugh at how you went overboard with the gifts every year.
Thinking back now it’s probably because no one was able to do that for you.
You allowed dad to play the nice guy while you did all the real work, fighting battles that not many people could understand.
I look for you when I’m heartbroken, even though I broke your heart as a child
I look for you when I feel lost or weak and even though you’re not there I hear you, see you, and remember how you shaped me.
And I’m just so endlessly grateful that you loved me so very completely
You deserved better than you received but still you fought everyday and I pray for the same strength as a mother
By Victoria Angel