I try not to think of it
I don't think I've ever written you a direct poem before
but this is to you- aubrey
you were just a girl
brown hair
spirt so free
you just gotten over a breakup
your boyfriend
told you to starve yourself
to **** yourself
and when nobody was there
when nobody noticed
I was there
I held you as tight as I could
I promised to be your "wife"
you gave me your email I gave you mine
and we messaged
everyday
everyday in that month of june
I told you you were worth more then that *******
and I didn't know how to tell you I loved you
over time we got closer
close enough for her to be dry around me
"hiiii!"
"hey"
"how are you doinggggggg!?"
no response
I knew something was wrong
so I tried
tried my ******* hardest
to be enough for you
I wrote letters everyday
messaged you at 3am when I was sleep deprived if that would help
sacrificed my mental health for you to be okay
it was breaking me too yes but I couldn't loose you
not now at least
the website had crashed and I was alone
and you were my only friend
then one day
you told me you loved me
I didn't know what to say back
I was confused
that you'd never love me
then after that day
you disappeared
I came online everday
"aubs????"
"has anyone seen Aubrey???"
"is Aubrey okay???"
I see a message
under the name Aubs
her account
my eyes lit up she was finally back
"hi this is Aubrey's mother who is this?"
"this- its ari, Aubrey's friend"
friend was a word i never thought I'd call her
not best friend
not wife
not crush
just...friend
"oh, honey I'm so sorry to tell you this but Aubrey committed yesterday..."
the message flashed my eyes
tears slipped down my cheeks
she was...gone
gone forever
"she mentioned this website once before she committed, she said 2 people really helped her and she had notes for them, Ari is one of the names, is that you?"
"yes."
"yes that's me."
as she sent the note I couldn't even bare to read
read the letter she sent me
my eyes were red and puffy
nobody knew you like I had
aubrey
nobody knew the pain you went through like I did
and I never told you I loved you back
that being our last message
your I love you
and my opened message
I was terrible
never enough for you to stay
or anyone else
after that late night in june
Aubrey
I don't remember how to live.
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 11:37 AM UTC
I try not to think of it
I don't think I've ever written you a direct poem before
but this is to you- aubrey
you were just a girl
brown hair
spirt so free
you just gotten over a breakup
your boyfriend
told you to starve yourself
to **** yourself
and when nobody was there
when nobody noticed
I was there
I held you as tight as I could
I promised to be your "wife"
you gave me your email I gave you mine
and we messaged
everyday
everyday in that month of june
I told you you were worth more then that *******
and I didn't know how to tell you I loved you
over time we got closer
close enough for her to be dry around me
"hiiii!"
"hey"
"how are you doinggggggg!?"
no response
I knew something was wrong
so I tried
tried my ******* hardest
to be enough for you
I wrote letters everyday
messaged you at 3am when I was sleep deprived if that would help
sacrificed my mental health for you to be okay
it was breaking me too yes but I couldn't loose you
not now at least
the website had crashed and I was alone
and you were my only friend
then one day
you told me you loved me
I didn't know what to say back
I was confused
that you'd never love me
then after that day
you disappeared
I came online everday
"aubs????"
"has anyone seen Aubrey???"
"is Aubrey okay???"
I see a message
under the name Aubs
her account
my eyes lit up she was finally back
"hi this is Aubrey's mother who is this?"
"this- its ari, Aubrey's friend"
friend was a word i never thought I'd call her
not best friend
not wife
not crush
just...friend
"oh, honey I'm so sorry to tell you this but Aubrey committed yesterday..."
the message flashed my eyes
tears slipped down my cheeks
she was...gone
gone forever
"she mentioned this website once before she committed, she said 2 people really helped her and she had notes for them, Ari is one of the names, is that you?"
"yes."
"yes that's me."
as she sent the note I couldn't even bare to read
read the letter she sent me
my eyes were red and puffy
nobody knew you like I had
aubrey
nobody knew the pain you went through like I did
and I never told you I loved you back
that being our last message
your I love you
and my opened message
I was terrible
never enough for you to stay
or anyone else
after that late night in june
Aubrey
I don't remember how to live.
the note: Dear Ari, I love you so much I hope your able to find more friends and have a bright future too. You have such a kind heart and your such a sweet person. You deserve only the best treatment. I hope you and Emi get married one day and I know you two will be the most happiest couple. Please don't overthink or doubt yourself your a great person and you should always be kind to yourself no matter what.
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