#aubrey
I try not to think of it
I don't think I've ever written you a direct poem before
but this is to you- aubrey
you were just a girl
brown hair
spirt so free
you just gotten over a breakup
your boyfriend
told you to starve yourself
to **** yourself
and when nobody was there
when nobody noticed
I was there
I held you as tight as I could
I promised to be your "wife"
you gave me your email I gave you mine
and we messaged
everyday
everyday in that month of june
I told you you were worth more then that *******
and I didn't know how to tell you I loved you
over time we got closer
close enough for her to be dry around me
"hiiii!"
"hey"
"how are you doinggggggg!?"
no response
I knew something was wrong
so I tried
tried my ******* hardest
to be enough for you
I wrote letters everyday
messaged you at 3am when I was sleep deprived if that would help
sacrificed my mental health for you to be okay
it was breaking me too yes but I couldn't loose you
not now at least
the website had crashed and I was alone
and you were my only friend
then one day
you told me you loved me
I didn't know what to say back
I was confused
that you'd never love me
then after that day
you disappeared
I came online everday
"aubs????"
"has anyone seen Aubrey???"
"is Aubrey okay???"
I see a message
under the name Aubs
her account
my eyes lit up she was finally back
"hi this is Aubrey's mother who is this?"
"this- its ari, Aubrey's friend"
friend was a word i never thought I'd call her
not best friend
not wife
not crush
just...friend
"oh, honey I'm so sorry to tell you this but Aubrey committed yesterday..."
the message flashed my eyes
tears slipped down my cheeks
she was...gone
gone forever
"she mentioned this website once before she committed, she said 2 people really helped her and she had notes for them, Ari is one of the names, is that you?"
"yes."
"yes that's me."
as she sent the note I couldn't even bare to read
read the letter she sent me
my eyes were red and puffy
nobody knew you like I had
aubrey
nobody knew the pain you went through like I did
and I never told you I loved you back
that being our last message
your I love you
and my opened message
I was terrible
never enough for you to stay
or anyone else
after that late night in june
Aubrey
I don't remember how to live.
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 11:37 AM UTC
I'm sending you an indigofera tinctora
plant it, water it, grow it
when it blooms
pluck a petal and hold it to your eye
look at me
through its vulnerable corolla
for when you need to see beyond the tangible
the little girl you created
Aubrey -
A not so ordinary girl or name
But who's to blame?
I'm sending you a stained glass dreamcatcher
careful it doesn't break
hang it over your bed
when you wake, hold it to your eyes
look at me
for when you need to see my truth
Joseph's coat of many colors
Aubrey -
A not so ordinary girl or name
But who's to blame?
I'm sending you the promise of a flood-free future
take a step closer
study it
place the promise between us
illuminate
for when you seed to my truth
hate-proof, judge-proof, water-proof
Aubrey -
A not so ordinary girl or name
But who's to blame?
Sep 16, 2020
Sep 16, 2020 at 10:57 AM UTC
He is beautiful and poetic.
Sensitive and creative.
I bet if he hugged me
I'd feel secure
Perfect.
So perfect that I'm afraid I'm not worth it.
I wish he knew.
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 7:59 PM UTC
You ******* lied to me.
you said you loved me.
you said i was the only one.'
you said you feel for me
and that you cared.
you told me you loved me.
and i believed you
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 6:51 PM UTC
Your laugh brings out mine
i miss it so much
the way you would lean back as you laughed to a joke
you say you hate it
something about it not sounding right
but to me
its perfect
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 26, 2015 at 9:15 PM UTC
Why me?
Of all the girls in this is school
in your new one.
in your life
in your neighborhood.
why choose me?
youre an amazing person
and i have enough insecurities to supply a large business company.
But you choose me to hold you.
to love you.
and i will forever question the blessing of your love
because i never get blessings
not on this level
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 28, 2015 at 5:16 PM UTC
Words are not my thing.
Especially about you.
After all the time we spend together,
all the words exchanged,
none can even begin to express
exactly how i feel about you
about us
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 8:41 AM UTC
I look past your darkness,
your demons,
and i see your light,
your angels.
And they are here to save me.
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 8:50 AM UTC
I love you so much.
You are not alone anymore.
Let me help you fight your demons
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 5, 2015 at 4:26 AM UTC
No phone, no facebook.
Simple, old fashioned email.
When we arent together, thats what we do.
Whether its setting up dates,
or just passing time.
My heart leaps with joy when i see your name
up at the top
waiting for me to read it.
i dont care if it takes longer.
this is something unique to this relationship.
to us.
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 5:51 PM UTC
I know
im a goody goody.
i clean after myself,
and sometimes others.
i hold the door open for any and all
and i hate being late.
But you,
you my love are just the opposite.
you get into fights
you curse
you are someone i would avoid a year ago
but now i cant get enough of you.
my heart leaps when we touch.
our kiss is perfect.
you, my love,
you are something bad for me.
and i love it.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 7:37 AM UTC
Yes. Thats what this is.
A Beautiful dream.
Something that only happens in our imagination.
Something that one can only dream of.
But we have it.
So lets treasure it.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 5:49 AM UTC
Luck is not my thing.
It never comes my way.
But when i look at you, my mind is changed.
I see your smile
i hear you laugh
and i know i am lucky to call you mine
You hold me tight
you kiss my lips
you say "i love you" and i know you mean it.
the way you held my face and leaned in
my heart melts at the thought of you
I love you
please dont leave
May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 11:11 AM UTC
I am not afraid of much
but you brought so much light into my life
that my fear is now becoming a fear of the dark
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 7:26 AM UTC
Im scared
i hate to say those words but i am
youre the best thing to ever happen to me
youre my light to the day
and the stars to the night
you bring happiness into my lonely world
and come this summer,
i may never see you again
please dont let this end
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 7:41 AM UTC
You, my love, are amazing.
Your laugh is like a sweet candy for the ears.
Your smile melts my heart.
When you look at me, i can only stare at what i want to be.
What i have always dreamed of having.
When you call me "Boo" or "Babygirl" all i can think of is how you have chosen me
me
to be your lover,
your partner
the one to show your love to.
im amazed at your beauty
by your stubbornness.
And i love every piece of it.
I love you baby
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 5:49 PM UTC
When i see you, i cant help but smile.
You let me forget my worries, if only for a few moments.
Your name is so unique and adorable.
Im glad you dont read poetry.
Im so quiet, and you are so loud and outgoing
what makes you like me?
Opposites attract?
Im horrible at sports,
while youre making every basket.
Our lives cant be more different.
But i love it.
Me, the book nerd
and you, the athlete.
Whats in store for us?
Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 6:19 PM UTC
Im a newbie with everything.
I cant play instruments or video games
i dont sing or play sports.
i can barely cook.
And here you are,
having tried and excelled at almost all of it.
you, my love, are amazing.
and here i am.
a newbie at even high school.
what caught your eye?
what made you love this girl who does nothing but laugh at everything?
What makes you love me?
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:05 AM UTC