I was expecting more
What was i that everyone is always expecting more
Why am I not more
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough for me
Can it be just us that was wrong
Not me
Maybe the season
February
My month
The evil month
I feel like i want something
I want something from someone that I know that most people can't give to me
I think i'm constantly letting people down
Because of what my mind is holding me back from allowing myself to do
I have rules.
I have a plan and I want a boyfriend
but that's not in the plan
Graduate have my year
Go to college
Get my dream job
live alone
Get a dog
Get married
Live with my husband
A man always a man
because mama says, i'm not doing any of that other nonsense it's not biblical
So I'll marry a man
Have a child
Work
Retire
Die.
16
I don't get a boyfriend at 16
Momma says not to go to college with a boyfriend
So it's too late for me now
So that can just be an idea.
A dream
My boyfriend can live once again in the pages of my notebooks
It was nice while it lasted.
But I knew in my head, it wasn't in the plan.
He didn't deserve not to be in the plan
He didn't deserve to be a speck
He didn't deserve to mean less to me than the I mean to him
Our love doesn't deserve to be later in the plan.
But it is
Love is for when you're older
Love only breaks your heart
Mama says no one has the time to be heartbroken at 16
I'll try it when i'm older.
I guess.
I don't know what it's like to be heartbroken.
I've never done it before
Is this being heartbroken?
Feeling like I took something away from myself?
An option?
No part of me is missing, but I miss part of him
Maybe he was expecting more of something that I could have given
But at the end of it all
I wasn't sure myself, and he deserves someone who's sure.
Feb 6
Feb 6, 2026 at 5:56 PM UTC
I was expecting more
What was i that everyone is always expecting more
Why am I not more
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough for me
Can it be just us that was wrong
Not me
Maybe the season
February
My month
The evil month
I feel like i want something
I want something from someone that I know that most people can't give to me
I think i'm constantly letting people down
Because of what my mind is holding me back from allowing myself to do
I have rules.
I have a plan and I want a boyfriend
but that's not in the plan
Graduate have my year
Go to college
Get my dream job
live alone
Get a dog
Get married
Live with my husband
A man always a man
because mama says, i'm not doing any of that other nonsense it's not biblical
So I'll marry a man
Have a child
Work
Retire
Die.
16
I don't get a boyfriend at 16
Momma says not to go to college with a boyfriend
So it's too late for me now
So that can just be an idea.
A dream
My boyfriend can live once again in the pages of my notebooks
It was nice while it lasted.
But I knew in my head, it wasn't in the plan.
He didn't deserve not to be in the plan
He didn't deserve to be a speck
He didn't deserve to mean less to me than the I mean to him
Our love doesn't deserve to be later in the plan.
But it is
Love is for when you're older
Love only breaks your heart
Mama says no one has the time to be heartbroken at 16
I'll try it when i'm older.
I guess.
I don't know what it's like to be heartbroken.
I've never done it before
Is this being heartbroken?
Feeling like I took something away from myself?
An option?
No part of me is missing, but I miss part of him
Maybe he was expecting more of something that I could have given
But at the end of it all
I wasn't sure myself, and he deserves someone who's sure.