Vidas - Hello Poetry

I've only recently been able to admit to the idea that I am depressed No A person with depression I know I have things I have a history I think in my head an attempt isn't depression Just a bad decision Symptoms of depression include • Irritability • Difficulty concentrating • Lack of energy • insomnia or excessive sleeping Obviously I don't have those I'm not irritable I'm probably just hungry I haven't been able to concentrate my whole life. Why start now I'm a teenager of course i'm tired It's not sleeping excessively I just like naps Its that **** phone If your room weren't such a mess Get out more Socialize There's light at the end of the- Shut up Two years ago I tried to end my life Downed a bottle of pain meds and a canister of albuteral All to wake up with just a sore throat It didn't work so here I am again Against my own worse judgements Too tired to try again so I'm just gonna go to sleep So now I'm going to sleep tomorrow I will remember how to be happy. And then by 2pm I'll forget again Completing the circle

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Vidas

1d ago

Jun 2, 2026 at 6:09 PM UTC

Vidas

I don't have depression

I've only recently been able to admit to the idea that I am depressed No A person with depression I know I have things I have a history I think in my head an attempt isn't depression Just a bad decision Symptoms of depression include • Irritability • Difficulty concentrating • Lack of energy • insomnia or excessive sleeping Obviously I don't have those I'm not irritable I'm probably just hungry I haven't been able to concentrate my whole life. Why start now I'm a teenager of course i'm tired It's not sleeping excessively I just like naps Its that **** phone If your room weren't such a mess Get out more Socialize There's light at the end of the- Shut up Two years ago I tried to end my life Downed a bottle of pain meds and a canister of albuteral All to wake up with just a sore throat It didn't work so here I am again Against my own worse judgements Too tired to try again so I'm just gonna go to sleep So now I'm going to sleep tomorrow I will remember how to be happy. And then by 2pm I'll forget again Completing the circle

33

Last year I wanted to **** myself This year I don't want too I just want to hurt myself. Slit my wrists and watch the blood rip down my hands Feel the sizle of wrapping my wounds Daddy asked me the other day what I filter when we're talking He says I don't filter what comes out of my brain He says he knows me better than I know myself He says that this is what he went to school for. If he knows me so well, why did I go so long feeling that way If he knows me so well, why did I feel like I could **** myself Why did I try to **** myself and he didn't even know Why when I told him that I was slitting my wrists he laughed in my face Why didn't he notice anything at all He says i'm a bad liar, but I have lied my way through every conversation we've had the genuine true real me. The feelings that I feel on a daily basis He will never know, because the facade, the mask that I put on every morning is so realistic you would think that's my face. The only thing keeping me from leaving this earthly plane is not the fear of death, but what my death would do to him, my mother. My brothers I haven't tried to hurt myself in 3 months Summertime is keeping me clean How I will survive the winter I do not know the long sleeves of fall Give me every reason to fall back into the hole I was in not too long ago But the guilt The shame The lies That's what holds me back

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Feb 6

Feb 6, 2026 at 6:07 PM UTC

Vidas

Last year

Last year I wanted to **** myself This year I don't want too I just want to hurt myself. Slit my wrists and watch the blood rip down my hands Feel the sizle of wrapping my wounds Daddy asked me the other day what I filter when we're talking He says I don't filter what comes out of my brain He says he knows me better than I know myself He says that this is what he went to school for. If he knows me so well, why did I go so long feeling that way If he knows me so well, why did I feel like I could **** myself Why did I try to **** myself and he didn't even know Why when I told him that I was slitting my wrists he laughed in my face Why didn't he notice anything at all He says i'm a bad liar, but I have lied my way through every conversation we've had the genuine true real me. The feelings that I feel on a daily basis He will never know, because the facade, the mask that I put on every morning is so realistic you would think that's my face. The only thing keeping me from leaving this earthly plane is not the fear of death, but what my death would do to him, my mother. My brothers I haven't tried to hurt myself in 3 months Summertime is keeping me clean How I will survive the winter I do not know the long sleeves of fall Give me every reason to fall back into the hole I was in not too long ago But the guilt The shame The lies That's what holds me back

38

I've only recently been able to admit to the idea that I am depressed No A person with depression I know I have things I have a history I think in my head an attempt isn't depression Just a bad decision Symptoms of depression include • Irritability • Difficulty concentrating • Lack of energy • insomnia or excessive sleeping Obviously I don't have those I'm not irritable I'm probably just hungry I haven't been able to concentrate my whole life. Why start now I'm a teenager of course i'm tired It's not sleeping excessively I just like naps Its that **** phone If your room weren't such a mess Get out more Socialize There's light at the end of the- Shut up Two years ago I tried to end my life Downed a bottle of pain meds and a canister of albuteral All to wake up with just a sore throat It didn't work so here I am again Against my own worse judgements Too tired to try again so I'm just gonna go to sleep So now I'm going to sleep tomorrow I will remember how to be happy. And then by 2pm I'll forget again Completing the circle

0

Feb 6

Feb 6, 2026 at 6:06 PM UTC

Vidas

I don't have depression

I've only recently been able to admit to the idea that I am depressed No A person with depression I know I have things I have a history I think in my head an attempt isn't depression Just a bad decision Symptoms of depression include • Irritability • Difficulty concentrating • Lack of energy • insomnia or excessive sleeping Obviously I don't have those I'm not irritable I'm probably just hungry I haven't been able to concentrate my whole life. Why start now I'm a teenager of course i'm tired It's not sleeping excessively I just like naps Its that **** phone If your room weren't such a mess Get out more Socialize There's light at the end of the- Shut up Two years ago I tried to end my life Downed a bottle of pain meds and a canister of albuteral All to wake up with just a sore throat It didn't work so here I am again Against my own worse judgements Too tired to try again so I'm just gonna go to sleep So now I'm going to sleep tomorrow I will remember how to be happy. And then by 2pm I'll forget again Completing the circle

33

I was expecting more What was i that everyone is always expecting more Why am I not more I am enough I am enough I am enough for me Can it be just us that was wrong Not me Maybe the season February My month The evil month I feel like i want something I want something from someone that I know that most people can't give to me I think i'm constantly letting people down Because of what my mind is holding me back from allowing myself to do I have rules. I have a plan and I want a boyfriend but that's not in the plan Graduate have my year Go to college Get my dream job live alone Get a dog Get married Live with my husband A man always a man because mama says, i'm not doing any of that other nonsense it's not biblical So I'll marry a man Have a child Work Retire Die. 16 I don't get a boyfriend at 16 Momma says not to go to college with a boyfriend So it's too late for me now So that can just be an idea. A dream My boyfriend can live once again in the pages of my notebooks It was nice while it lasted. But I knew in my head, it wasn't in the plan. He didn't deserve not to be in the plan He didn't deserve to be a speck He didn't deserve to mean less to me than the I mean to him Our love doesn't deserve to be later in the plan. But it is Love is for when you're older Love only breaks your heart Mama says no one has the time to be heartbroken at 16 I'll try it when i'm older. I guess. I don't know what it's like to be heartbroken. I've never done it before Is this being heartbroken? Feeling like I took something away from myself? An option? No part of me is missing, but I miss part of him Maybe he was expecting more of something that I could have given But at the end of it all I wasn't sure myself, and he deserves someone who's sure.

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Feb 6

Feb 6, 2026 at 5:56 PM UTC

Vidas

After

I was expecting more What was i that everyone is always expecting more Why am I not more I am enough I am enough I am enough for me Can it be just us that was wrong Not me Maybe the season February My month The evil month I feel like i want something I want something from someone that I know that most people can't give to me I think i'm constantly letting people down Because of what my mind is holding me back from allowing myself to do I have rules. I have a plan and I want a boyfriend but that's not in the plan Graduate have my year Go to college Get my dream job live alone Get a dog Get married Live with my husband A man always a man because mama says, i'm not doing any of that other nonsense it's not biblical So I'll marry a man Have a child Work Retire Die. 16 I don't get a boyfriend at 16 Momma says not to go to college with a boyfriend So it's too late for me now So that can just be an idea. A dream My boyfriend can live once again in the pages of my notebooks It was nice while it lasted. But I knew in my head, it wasn't in the plan. He didn't deserve not to be in the plan He didn't deserve to be a speck He didn't deserve to mean less to me than the I mean to him Our love doesn't deserve to be later in the plan. But it is Love is for when you're older Love only breaks your heart Mama says no one has the time to be heartbroken at 16 I'll try it when i'm older. I guess. I don't know what it's like to be heartbroken. I've never done it before Is this being heartbroken? Feeling like I took something away from myself? An option? No part of me is missing, but I miss part of him Maybe he was expecting more of something that I could have given But at the end of it all I wasn't sure myself, and he deserves someone who's sure.

61

I dont know why I want this so bad You. You're no one Truly I want you The idea of a you I want to be an us I want to not want I want to not want my phone to be buzzing all the time I want to not care About everyone About february

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Feb 6

Feb 6, 2026 at 5:55 PM UTC

Vidas

Us

I dont know why I want this so bad You. You're no one Truly I want you The idea of a you I want to be an us I want to not want I want to not want my phone to be buzzing all the time I want to not care About everyone About february

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I've never been heart broken I've never had the the chance I've never met a man worth getting my heart broken over I know though Id have to give you every bit of me and im not sure That you're ready to see who i am I've never been heartbroken. You'll never have the chance I'll never let you see who i am There's a type of love I want, but love comes with a risk And I can't give you that I can't give you that My heart is mine to have I fear handing it away Because i I never want to see it break I've never been heart broken I've never had the the chance I've never met a man worth getting my heart broken over

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May 29, 2025

May 29, 2025 at 2:31 AM UTC

Vidas

Untitled

I've never been heart broken I've never had the the chance I've never met a man worth getting my heart broken over I know though Id have to give you every bit of me and im not sure That you're ready to see who i am I've never been heartbroken. You'll never have the chance I'll never let you see who i am There's a type of love I want, but love comes with a risk And I can't give you that I can't give you that My heart is mine to have I fear handing it away Because i I never want to see it break I've never been heart broken I've never had the the chance I've never met a man worth getting my heart broken over

21

The devil is beautiful That's the point No one wants to be ugly Beautiful does not equate inherent goodness Lucifer was god's favorite so beautiful so perfect Vain He fell The devil is. So beautiful. you can't help but follow him Track him with your eyes Fall into his gaze Actions be ****** because God is hard God is divine, a being you can't look at for fear you'll never look back away God is the type of divinity that strikes feat in nations The devil is easy Comfortable Conventional Convenient Do I really want to be beautiful?

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Apr 25, 2025

Apr 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM UTC

Vidas

Beautiful

The devil is beautiful That's the point No one wants to be ugly Beautiful does not equate inherent goodness Lucifer was god's favorite so beautiful so perfect Vain He fell The devil is. So beautiful. you can't help but follow him Track him with your eyes Fall into his gaze Actions be ****** because God is hard God is divine, a being you can't look at for fear you'll never look back away God is the type of divinity that strikes feat in nations The devil is easy Comfortable Conventional Convenient Do I really want to be beautiful?

23

I don't think the world would comprehend what I mean when I say I have intuitive thoughts. When I say I think about grabbing a knife from the cupboard and I'm not gonna finish that one The thoughts bleed from my head. I look like carrie Obscene words cover me from top to bottom Next time you get in the shower you should water board yourself Put a fork in the microwave and watch it explode in your face Get ready in the morning with a nice ice bath for your face, just use boiling water Clip your nails, clean off. Keep cutting. You should shave until there's nothing left Bleed Cut Bleed But those intrinsive thoughts aren't silly and funny So i'm gonna stick to You should eat that whole jar of nutella

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Mar 30, 2025

Mar 30, 2025 at 12:15 AM UTC

Vidas

Intrusive

I don't think the world would comprehend what I mean when I say I have intuitive thoughts. When I say I think about grabbing a knife from the cupboard and I'm not gonna finish that one The thoughts bleed from my head. I look like carrie Obscene words cover me from top to bottom Next time you get in the shower you should water board yourself Put a fork in the microwave and watch it explode in your face Get ready in the morning with a nice ice bath for your face, just use boiling water Clip your nails, clean off. Keep cutting. You should shave until there's nothing left Bleed Cut Bleed But those intrinsive thoughts aren't silly and funny So i'm gonna stick to You should eat that whole jar of nutella

17

I've never been in love but I can imagine it Matching fits, talking bout cats n **** Be my man ill be your ***** Ride or die When I'm with you we'll fly Superman, cheer for you in the stands Here for you till the end My man will be perfect Absolutely no flaws he'll have it all Speed dial no need to call Cause my man will have it all Cause my man My man I haven't met you yet and I know you'll be perfect Because in the ocean of my dreams I see you surfing I'm learning That everything i do is leading up to you And everything you do and see is for the moment you meet me Don't that just make you cheese The duo we'll be whole world to see My man and me

0

Mar 28, 2025

Mar 28, 2025 at 1:41 AM UTC

Vidas

Not yet

I've never been in love but I can imagine it Matching fits, talking bout cats n **** Be my man ill be your ***** Ride or die When I'm with you we'll fly Superman, cheer for you in the stands Here for you till the end My man will be perfect Absolutely no flaws he'll have it all Speed dial no need to call Cause my man will have it all Cause my man My man I haven't met you yet and I know you'll be perfect Because in the ocean of my dreams I see you surfing I'm learning That everything i do is leading up to you And everything you do and see is for the moment you meet me Don't that just make you cheese The duo we'll be whole world to see My man and me

22

When words fail what's left? Song? My praises singing Hands? I gesture, paint worlds with my movements When words fail do we write? Put my pen to paper and let the words spread like watercolor Words speech, are all I know Silence is a foreign language to me When words fail I have little left. So I pray my words do not fail. Because words are mine.

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Mar 28, 2025

Mar 28, 2025 at 1:38 AM UTC

Vidas

When words fail

When words fail what's left? Song? My praises singing Hands? I gesture, paint worlds with my movements When words fail do we write? Put my pen to paper and let the words spread like watercolor Words speech, are all I know Silence is a foreign language to me When words fail I have little left. So I pray my words do not fail. Because words are mine.

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