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I remember the hospitals where we'd float through the vapid halls sitting on the floor laughing leaning against uncomfortable walls I'd play cards with angels I would try to catch their tears they couldn't see their halos too surrounded by their fears I wanted them to understand the ways in which they glowed how their smiles stopped the world from spinning the same smiles that they loathed we all floated through the unit talking and joking about suicide to make sense of all the pain, the death, the voids we had inside god, I would give anything to take their numbness and aching away to hear their laughter, let them know it matters so inconceivably much that they stay what hurts me most is how I love them how I miss them, and need them alive but I grieve my angels already I think of their attempts the ones they barely survived I'm so heavily distressed by the mountains guilt has given me telling me I didn't help, that I never found a remedy if I could be your comfort or your safe place for a while I'd do all I can to see and to hear you, maybe even make you smile I know I'm sad, I'm small, I'm dumb I'm a ghost who might annoy I know that there isn't much I can do as a suicidal boy but know if I could, if it was in my power I would fill the void in you I'd take your trauma, your scars, your razors, dead stars the black, the red, and the blue you're my friend, you're my angel I wish I could make you see how infinity you are loved cherished by the planet, by the universe, by me I understand that you're scared, and tired of living I was in that ambulance too but maybe we could try existing . . together? there's still so many things left to do
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Nov 19, 2021
Nov 19, 2021 at 5:05 PM UTC
a letter to my angels
I remember the hospitals where we'd float through the vapid halls sitting on the floor laughing leaning against uncomfortable walls I'd play cards with angels I would try to catch their tears they couldn't see their halos too surrounded by their fears I wanted them to understand the ways in which they glowed how their smiles stopped the world from spinning the same smiles that they loathed we all floated through the unit talking and joking about suicide to make sense of all the pain, the death, the voids we had inside god, I would give anything to take their numbness and aching away to hear their laughter, let them know it matters so inconceivably much that they stay what hurts me most is how I love them how I miss them, and need them alive but I grieve my angels already I think of their attempts the ones they barely survived I'm so heavily distressed by the mountains guilt has given me telling me I didn't help, that I never found a remedy if I could be your comfort or your safe place for a while I'd do all I can to see and to hear you, maybe even make you smile I know I'm sad, I'm small, I'm dumb I'm a ghost who might annoy I know that there isn't much I can do as a suicidal boy but know if I could, if it was in my power I would fill the void in you I'd take your trauma, your scars, your razors, dead stars the black, the red, and the blue you're my friend, you're my angel I wish I could make you see how infinity you are loved cherished by the planet, by the universe, by me I understand that you're scared, and tired of living I was in that ambulance too but maybe we could try existing . . together? there's still so many things left to do
for the people who would break me if I lost them
#psych#ward#mental#hospital#suicide#angel#trauma#death#grief
maxisgay
Written by
maxisgay
21/M/nowhere important
Nov 19, 2021
Nov 19, 2021 at 5:05 PM UTC
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