Its only been a week since I last heard your voice
But I'm already starting to forget the sound of it as you whispered my name
Some nights when my mind is flooded with questions and memories and longing for you, I block my number
I call you.
I'm not sure why, because if you picked up the phone I don't think I would have any words to say.
But I know you never pick up blocked numbers.
So I know I'll here your voice on your voicemail.
I know I'll feel the tingling in the back of my throat
As I hang up the phone again.
The tears will trickle down my cheeks.
They'll burn holes into my pillow while I bury my face
Trying to escape this worthless feeling.
The voices in my head will come out to play.
Reminding me I am unwanted, I don't deserve to be loved, of course he didn't love you, no one ever will.
When the madness slows down for a second, I am able to find sleep.
And I still don't understand why I keep picking up that phone to call you in the first place.
But here I am. Dialing your number once again.
-c.m.
Oct 23, 2019
Oct 23, 2019 at 3:54 PM UTC
Its only been a week since I last heard your voice
But I'm already starting to forget the sound of it as you whispered my name
Some nights when my mind is flooded with questions and memories and longing for you, I block my number
I call you.
I'm not sure why, because if you picked up the phone I don't think I would have any words to say.
But I know you never pick up blocked numbers.
So I know I'll here your voice on your voicemail.
I know I'll feel the tingling in the back of my throat
As I hang up the phone again.
The tears will trickle down my cheeks.
They'll burn holes into my pillow while I bury my face
Trying to escape this worthless feeling.
The voices in my head will come out to play.
Reminding me I am unwanted, I don't deserve to be loved, of course he didn't love you, no one ever will.
When the madness slows down for a second, I am able to find sleep.
And I still don't understand why I keep picking up that phone to call you in the first place.
But here I am. Dialing your number once again.
-c.m.
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