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jack-jenkinsPoems
You never knew why I loved you & I would always give a cliche answer about how only you can be you That's true But also loving you I found out that loving myself wasn't too bad That loving you made loving myself worth it When I had that shotgun in my lap I had all my trauma right on the surface Things I couldn't change, or maybe I could I don't know I couldn't stop my dad from seeing prostitutes just like I couldn't stop my mom from hitting him for four hours I couldn't stop my friends from killing themselves, except maybe for her Everyone says it's not my fault But If I was the only thing she was living for Why is she dead? These are the thoughts in my head just like the last time I spoke to you Here I am with the same thoughts once again But with no shotgun And no you Because the thing I didn't want you to hear The thing I didn't want to face Was that I was dying loving you Because you didn't love me So I wasn't worth loving myself I was better off dead So I write to the memory I have of you Again To tell you I'm so sorry I made our friendship the guardrail against the cliff of my despair It was unfair to you Two years and a hollowed out heart has changed me Changed my thoughts about you & I I still love you Even when you never loved me I pray you are free I hope you're in love And maybe you think of me Our memories Its all okay I'm okay
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Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 11:51 AM UTC
I Finally Stopped Fighting
You never knew why I loved you & I would always give a cliche answer about how only you can be you That's true But also loving you I found out that loving myself wasn't too bad That loving you made loving myself worth it When I had that shotgun in my lap I had all my trauma right on the surface Things I couldn't change, or maybe I could I don't know I couldn't stop my dad from seeing prostitutes just like I couldn't stop my mom from hitting him for four hours I couldn't stop my friends from killing themselves, except maybe for her Everyone says it's not my fault But If I was the only thing she was living for Why is she dead? These are the thoughts in my head just like the last time I spoke to you Here I am with the same thoughts once again But with no shotgun And no you Because the thing I didn't want you to hear The thing I didn't want to face Was that I was dying loving you Because you didn't love me So I wasn't worth loving myself I was better off dead So I write to the memory I have of you Again To tell you I'm so sorry I made our friendship the guardrail against the cliff of my despair It was unfair to you Two years and a hollowed out heart has changed me Changed my thoughts about you & I I still love you Even when you never loved me I pray you are free I hope you're in love And maybe you think of me Our memories Its all okay I'm okay
//On her// It's been a long journey from suicide attempt to peace. I had many friends once, and now I stand almost alone. Maybe that's what I needed. I shouldn't write at midnight...
#friend#self#love#jack#jenkins#poem#poetry
jack-jenkins
Written by
jack-jenkins
30/M
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 20, 2019 at 11:51 AM UTC
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