I think when you leave something
Healthy
There’s none of the poison
A hurtful goodbye has.
You spend less time healing
Because there was less damage
Like leaving a flower unpicked
To cycle how it should.
The bliss fades
The heat disappates
Until you find yourself
No longer living for the warmth
Finding yourself
Your own source of light.
These past weeks
I’ve felt your absence
Hollowly
Achingly.
All my movements
Jagged and uneven
Missing the piece of me that was you
Not knowing how to live without it
How I call for you
How strange it is
The day you wake up
And find yourself breathing
Air that didn’t ask for you
To make it taste so good
I found myself waiting
Those silences that destroyed us
Became so tiresome
And I had no desire
To hold onto them
Even though it meant
Letting go of you.
You’re much better at letting go than I
And your forgetting
Your quiet
Your leaving
Has helped me take my first
Sure steps
Away from us
You’re my golden heart
You will always have that name
My good and faithful coeur
You brought me to life
Wilted and dying
Bearing so many hurts
That should never have belonged to me.
I painted you as the sun
Blooming orange and gold on my night horizons
My ashen skin
Shook off it’s dust
Green and living
I rose because of you.
How we have loved.
I sleep under endless constellations
Surrounded by foreign
But welcoming voices
I am alright
The night sings
I’m reminded of you
And our breath rising
Under the cloak of another sky
But it is good.
We were good.
Your memory building me
Instead of breaking me
It’s all I know how to do.
My coeur,
My heart.
I think I can let you go now.
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 2:53 AM UTC
I think when you leave something
Healthy
There’s none of the poison
A hurtful goodbye has.
You spend less time healing
Because there was less damage
Like leaving a flower unpicked
To cycle how it should.
The bliss fades
The heat disappates
Until you find yourself
No longer living for the warmth
Finding yourself
Your own source of light.
These past weeks
I’ve felt your absence
Hollowly
Achingly.
All my movements
Jagged and uneven
Missing the piece of me that was you
Not knowing how to live without it
How I call for you
How strange it is
The day you wake up
And find yourself breathing
Air that didn’t ask for you
To make it taste so good
I found myself waiting
Those silences that destroyed us
Became so tiresome
And I had no desire
To hold onto them
Even though it meant
Letting go of you.
You’re much better at letting go than I
And your forgetting
Your quiet
Your leaving
Has helped me take my first
Sure steps
Away from us
You’re my golden heart
You will always have that name
My good and faithful coeur
You brought me to life
Wilted and dying
Bearing so many hurts
That should never have belonged to me.
I painted you as the sun
Blooming orange and gold on my night horizons
My ashen skin
Shook off it’s dust
Green and living
I rose because of you.
How we have loved.
I sleep under endless constellations
Surrounded by foreign
But welcoming voices
I am alright
The night sings
I’m reminded of you
And our breath rising
Under the cloak of another sky
But it is good.
We were good.
Your memory building me
Instead of breaking me
It’s all I know how to do.
My coeur,
My heart.
I think I can let you go now.
Thank you, for everything. You do not know how much I owe you. This time has shown me the correctness of what we’ve done, the rightness of leaving each other. At least for me, as we currently are, I would never have been happy, we would never have been right.
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