These hands of mine are shaking violent
Quaking as tidal waves of doubt wash through me
My insecurities eat me up inside as I try
To tell you how I feel like I’m not real and
How I know that if I were to go away
You wouldn’t know any better than if I stayed
And if I cry I might as well
Just tell you about the hell I’m
Living in because my tears show
What my eyes and mouth will never tell they hold
The remnants of my innocent soul and
That’s not something I have much left of due to
The pain I’ve been in all these years the
Suicidal thoughts the ideation all the
Lies and trials and tribulations I’ve
Had to go through all alone
But it was really by choice now
Wasn’t it when I said
That I was fine
And didn’t let you in my mind
I say it was because I felt
Too insecure to share too anxious
To speak of all my thoughts as if
It was Pandora’s box for
The evil in my brain
So instead my hands shake and you ask me
Why do they tremble when all the wind is gone
And it is silent
And I close my eyes to block the tears and tell you just
As those we love are with us
So is all the fear of
Yesterday it was dark and windy and raining and storming
And all around me there were demons howling and I was
Crying and screaming and bleeding but it was me
My fault
I choked
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 28, 2016 at 11:39 PM UTC
These hands of mine are shaking violent
Quaking as tidal waves of doubt wash through me
My insecurities eat me up inside as I try
To tell you how I feel like I’m not real and
How I know that if I were to go away
You wouldn’t know any better than if I stayed
And if I cry I might as well
Just tell you about the hell I’m
Living in because my tears show
What my eyes and mouth will never tell they hold
The remnants of my innocent soul and
That’s not something I have much left of due to
The pain I’ve been in all these years the
Suicidal thoughts the ideation all the
Lies and trials and tribulations I’ve
Had to go through all alone
But it was really by choice now
Wasn’t it when I said
That I was fine
And didn’t let you in my mind
I say it was because I felt
Too insecure to share too anxious
To speak of all my thoughts as if
It was Pandora’s box for
The evil in my brain
So instead my hands shake and you ask me
Why do they tremble when all the wind is gone
And it is silent
And I close my eyes to block the tears and tell you just
As those we love are with us
So is all the fear of
Yesterday it was dark and windy and raining and storming
And all around me there were demons howling and I was
Crying and screaming and bleeding but it was me
My fault
I choked
I'm not as fine as I seem but we all can be ok someday