you are d e s t r o y i n g me in the most impeccable of ways.
i've suddenly stopped trusting you, and it makes me
reach out to you and hate myself when your arms are wrapped around me.

i don't know if i can do this anymore,
i don't even know if i really can love you anymore;
it feels like you are worlds away from me, when you sit next to me,
it feels like all this passion i have for you is just the passion i have
to fix myself. am i directing it all wrong? i'm so exhausted
with myself and my thoughts and my feelings.
i just want out. i need out. i can't keep doing this.
*but i need you.