I read a poem today by Jack Gilbert. It was called
“Failing and Flying”
and sold me a new paradigm.
He drew an analogy between Icarus’ skyfall
and divorce. Remember Icarus?
He flew with handcrafted wings high into the sky.
His elation was so great it melted his wings
and he tumbled to his death in the sea.
It feels tragic, that he flew only to fall; just like marriage feels tragic
when love takes wing only to crash and burn.
But as Jack Gilbert wrote, “anything worth doing
is worth doing badly….
…Icarus was not failing as he fell, but just coming to the end
of his triumph.”
He described the last fond moments with his wife,
and concluded his marriage was not a mistake.
I often weep for awful events in my marriage; but the marriage itself
is no mistake.
It’s my triumph.
I really don’t want to fly only to fall. But if I must,
our flight was never a mistake.