I took my ****** sister Marigold to the cinema, she had asked specifically and eventually (she doesn't speak a lot on account of her awful stammer and amazing cleft palate which has won prizes) so I knew that this was something she really wanted, and I teased for her bad taste when she told me that she wanted to see "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Charlie and the Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chocolate Factory".
It was a Saturday evening and the local picture house was showing a re-run of the classic starring Gene Wilder as the enigmatically stylish ***** Wonka, and not that steaming great pictorial **** served up by Tim Burton and I knew that town would be busy with oiks so as a treat I dressed her up better than usual, and even gave her a hosedown to get rid of the poopy pong.
She had stopped crying by the time the feature started and I think the Ooompa Loompa costume grew on her but that maybe the orange paint was a bit of a bad idea as people had stared as it was Day-Glo and she stood out like a bulldog's *******, but I stand by my decision to dye her hair green, it had taken thought and planning; it was meant to add to her excitement of the day, so I meant well, even if I was ineffectual in the end.
I sat her on my lap in the picture house but still paid for two seats but I do get one ticket half price though because of her disabilities, so it wasn't all bad, every cloud and all that, you know what I mean? She tends to get a little down every now and then but a £1 cinema ticket partly makes up for being born legless. I knew from past experience that the cinema staff prefer me to carry my stunted sis rather than wheeling her in (I do recall that the time I taped her to her skateboard proved somewhat a disaster - but really, the fat usher had a torch and should have watched her step or otherwise she wouldn't have bust her neck).
The Ooompa Loompa costume allowed Marigold to amuse herself during the screening (as there were no leggings to the costume). She barely noticed when the fat little hero got blown up on screen except to dribble "chocolate" from her own little chocolate factory. It was, all in all, quite an eventful outing and one I might consider repeating but probably in a different cinema next time, mainly because we got banned for life when the manager saw the condition of the seat.