ever since i could remember
i would answer crosswords
in the newspaper
and fill in the tiny
vertically and horizontally
stacked boxes
with letters
that formed words
that made sense.
i would play connect the dots
in childish booklets
wherein i'd always
be able to
connect the dots.

moments i spent
with these silly games
and petty riddles,
have definitely not prepared me
for you.
never have i come across
anything as
…puzzling.

you are a jigsaw.

many times i thought
that i could be able
to complete you.
but then, every single time
i try to piece you together
i always end up
blankly staring
at the jumbled up mess
i leave myself with.
now, i realize
that i endlessly try
to create things
that will never
have the slightest chance
of making sense to me.
maybe not yet.

the more i try
to understand you,
the more i ask myself
if you will be worth it
because i’ve spent
too many nights
and have wracked my brain
way too hard
trying to solve a code
that i know
i could never crack.