Afraid of the future, tired of the past,
Looking for something that somehow will last.
Searching for something, but not sure what's sought,
I'm trying to catch what cannot be caught.
I'm wanting so hard to finally see
Why is creation still torturing me?
Why won't it comply with what I'm choosing?
How can I win when I'm always losing?
Way beyond the words, the thoughts, and the mind,
What is this rare thing that I cannot find?
Hopelessly seeking, although knowing well
My chances are like that snowball in hell.
Scanning all others to see if they know,
No destination but wanting to go.
Pretending to stop while still on the move,
I'm claiming free will while stuck in a groove.
Denying all of the strategies used,
Self blaming answers are always refused.
Who am I to say that God's dream is wrong?
Why is illusion so seemingly strong?
Where is the top of this long tiring climb?
Just when can I drop the concept of time?
What is the purpose of sadness and grief?
And where can I find some needed relief?
What is that thing that's referred to as bliss?
And just who the heck is asking all this?