Jane's in the church,
helping to sort flowers
in vases.

I stand at the back,
watching,
not wanting to disturb,
smelling the ancient bricks
and wood and flowers.

She's in a world of her own,
her fingers nimble,
dedicated.

I sit down
in a side pew,
look up
at the wooden roof,
the arches,
the side columns.

Her father is by her,
talking quietly,
pointing out,
and she smiles
and then looks back
and sees me.

I feel as if someone
grabs my heart
and squeezes;
my whole being freezes.

She comes down
and sits beside me.

Didn't know
you were coming?

Your mother said
you were in here.

She nods,
looks up
at her father
at the altar,
then back
at me again.

I have finished now;
we can go for a walk.

Ok, that'd be good.

We get up out
of the pew
and walk down
the aisle towards
the back of the church.

She pauses
and looks back.

Funny if in years to come
we were walking here
after we were married.

I nod, but feel odd;
never think
that far ahead,
I muse,
but say nothing.

We walk on and out
of the church
and into
the warm sunshine.

My father saw you
and told me
you were there.

Does he mind?

Of course not;
why should he?

No reason,
just wondered.

My mother told him
you were ok;
she likes you.

I smile and we walk
down the narrow road
towards the farm.

How do you like school?

I don't;
I feel out of place there
after London.

You'll be ok
once you settle in.

I had a fight
my first day.

I heard from a girl
whose brother
heard about it;
I thought that meant
you were trouble,
but I understand
the boy started it.

I finished it,
but we're friends now,
I add.

She smiles at me
and her hand
touches mine
and it's like
I’m alive
for the first time;
my heart going
thirty to the dozen,
my whole being buzzing
like swarm of bees.

No one else knows;
no one else sees.