It’s 10:18, another long day, another lonely night, and I just cried for no reason... Well obviously there's always a reason. and I guess the reason is...
that I don't know what to do. I feel trapped. I don't want my life to be this twisted-up "love" story anymore because its become more of a pathetic tragedy than anything else completely different than anything I had ever imagined going into this over a year ago...
And I guess the truth is... that I can't play this charade anymore and I can't pretend that there's any reason that I should forgive you for anything that you did. I can't pretend that I don't still hurt sometimes, and I can't pretend that sometimes my heart doesn't still l o n g for you, confused about what happened, why you are suddenly gone, and what this means: having so many wonderful memories together and now having nothing not even words for each other.
Well I've taken some time and I've listened to my heart; it tells me to let you go.
Go. I can't be with you anymore. I can't be in love with you anymore I can't give you a third chance. Second chances are all that I've got and I'm sorry that you ruined your last shot but I'm cashed out, I'm done, you have met my threshold for emotional abuse so c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s . ...I want to find somebody better But that seems close to impossible You were the best I ever had So respectful-and-kind-and-nice-and-sweet You never asked for more than I could give But I gave you too much anyway because that's just how I was... But and the end of the day, you genuinely cared. Its more difficult than you would think to find someone who has truly good intentions. That truly just... cares. Even though I never ripped you apart, the way you tore at my hope I never cheated like you did I didn't hide things like you did Sometimes its still hard, to believe that I deserve better Because like I said, you were the best I ever had You treated me better than anyone else ever has So I wonder if I will ever find someone who will really treat me right... I like to believe that I am good I like to believe that I am worth it... But right now, staring at this screen, remembering you remembering us, and wondering just where we went wrong... I don't know.
I was experimenting with different ways of placing words. Its not my best poetic work , I just vented to the computer, but I think it becomes more interesting with the way the words are placed and such..